Sidequest for Love by L.H. Cosway

“Committing a needless massacre won’t make you feel any better,” TheBigSix said. “Why don’t you talk to Neil in person? Leaving cowardly voicemails isnae going to win him back.”

“You’re calling me a coward? Tell me, have you come clean to Yellowshoes about your feelings for her yet?”

He made a disgruntled noise. “I’m working my way up to it.”

“Hmm, well, you can leave off lecturing me about my love life until you get yours sorted.”

“It’s not the same. She lives thousands of miles away, and we’ve never even met in person.”

“No time like the present to book a flight.”

“I’m not booking a flight, not until I at least have an inkling of whether my feelings are returned.”

“Then you’re going to have to tell her.”

“I know, and I will, just not today.”

My phone buzzed with a message, and I snatched it up, my heart in my throat. To my disappointment, it wasn’t Neil. It was only Michaela inviting me over to her house for a late lunch. Apparently, she had big news. I replied, saying I’d be there. If nothing else, it would be good to get out of the flat for a while and away from all the temptation to murder mythical creatures in Greenforest.

I logged off from the game and went to take a much-needed shower. I still hadn’t washed away my eyeliner from last night, and I was starting to resemble Paudy O’Shea, a neighbour of mine from back home who refused to let go of his rocker youth. Supposedly, he’d been a roadie for Black Sabbath in the eighties.

Once out of the shower, I threw on a hoodie and some leggings, pulled my hair up into a messy bun, and set off for Michaela’s house. My friend had landed on her feet moving in with James. He was a few years older than her and owned a house in a leafy, residential part of London. What I wouldn’t give to be able to afford a place with a garden. My flat didn’t even have a balcony.

I pressed the button for the doorbell, and a few moments later, Michaela appeared.

“You’re looking very cheerful. Not working today?” I said as I stepped into the hallway.

“It’s my day off. Neil is on duty today,” she replied, and even the mention of his name had my metaphorical gut wound reappearing. “Speaking of, how have things been with you two? I haven’t seen you together since the night of Isaac’s party. You seemed pretty cosy.”

I blew out a breath as she led me into her kitchen, where she’d prepared a pot of tea and a selection of sandwiches. “Ooh, Salmon Sensation and cucumber. Someone’s feeling fancy,” I said as I plucked a dainty sandwich and shoved it in my mouth. When I felt like crap, food was my drug of choice.

“I remembered you liked them the last time you came over for lunch,” Michaela replied, eyeing me studiously. “Why are you avoiding the subject? Has something happened with Neil?”

“Yes,” I replied, not bothering to lie. This was Michaela. I could tell her anything, and she wouldn’t judge. Sarita was a little different. I could tell her anything, but she would judge. I didn’t mind, though. It was good to have a balance of friendship types.

“Well,” Michaela said. “What is it?”

I swallowed down the lump of masticated sandwich before lifting my eyes to hers. “I’m in love with him.”

Michaela stared at me, her brown eyes round as saucers. “Seriously?”

I nodded sombrely.

“What … I mean … how did that happen?”

“Slowly and insidiously, like a thief who takes their time slipping their hand inside your chest cavity to rip out a vital organ.”

“Okay, now you’re just being melodramatic.”

“All I’m saying is, he made me fall in love with him by being all cute and awkward and kind and endearing and sexy, and now I’ve fucked everything up. Typical Afric behaviour.”

“Stop referring to yourself in the third person. And whatever you’ve done, I’m sure it can be rectified.”

“It can’t. He hates me. Or, well, he doesn’t want to talk to me at least. I broke his trust.”

“How did you break his trust?”

“I revealed a secret of his to someone I shouldn’t have.” I wasn’t going to tell Michaela all the details because that would just be further disrespecting Neil’s trust. It had never been my secret to tell in the first place.

“Do you think he loves you back?”

“I think he lusts me back. I’m not too certain about love. No man has ever loved me before.”

“You can’t know that. Just because your past boyfriends might not have said it doesn’t mean—”

“I know you’re trying to be kind, but they didn’t love me, Michaela. And even if they did, they obviously fell out of love with me at some point because they all broke up with me in the end. I came to terms with the fact that though I can be charming for a while, at some point, the spell breaks, and men get sick of me. I might be temporarily loveable, but I’m not long-term, forever loveable.”

“Yes, you are. I know this for a fact because I love you. I’ve loved you for the entire ten years that I’ve known you.”

“Oh, crap. It’s happening. She’s finally coming out of the closet. Sarita’s gonna be pissed that she’s not the only lesbian in our friendship group anymore.”