Say Goodbye (Romantic Suspense #25) by Karen Rose

            Liza hated seeing the apprehension on his handsome face. “I’m not afraid of you, Tom. It’s just best if I keep my distance.”

            “Why?” he asked, the single syllable sounding tortured.

            “Because I . . .” She stared at her feet, then looked up to see he’d come closer. Close enough to touch her now. Close enough for her to catch the scent of his aftershave. “Because it hurts, okay? Being close to you, smelling you, feeling how warm you are? It hurts, because I want more. I know that makes me stupid, but—”

            He pressed his fingers to her lips. “Stop it. You are never stupid.” He dropped his arm to his side and she missed his touch immediately. “I’m stupid, but not you.”

            “Why did you think I could be afraid of you?”

            “Because I yelled.” His blue eyes were filled with turmoil. “I lost my temper and I yelled.”

            “You’ve done that before. You’ll—” She stopped herself before she could say that he’d do it again. Because she wouldn’t be giving him that opportunity. Because she’d walked away.

            “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should never yell at you. My father yelled. I don’t mean to.”

            “Oh.” Liza’s eyes stung. She knew all about Tom’s father. Knew how the man had beaten Tom’s mother until she’d nearly died. Knew that he’d tortured Tom as a child, burning his skin with cigarettes because Tom had tried to protect his mother when his father had been kicking her.

            She knew how conflicted Tom was because he’d been happy when his father was killed in prison. She knew it made him worry that there was a monster inside him, too.

            She knew all of this because he’d told her. He’d trusted her with his deepest secrets.

            I should have thought of this. “Oh, Tom. You are not your father. You could never be like him. Erase that from your mind, because it never entered mine. I am afraid, but never of you.”

            “Then of who?” he asked, his whisper rough and hoarse.

            “I’m afraid of myself. Of who I am when I’m near you.” She squared her shoulders. “I’m afraid because you could convince me to come back, to live on the other side of your duplex, where we’d just be friends forever. And that would hurt too much. I’d rather you yelled at me.”

            He flinched. “Are we ever going to be friends again?”

            God. He was breaking her heart. Because this wasn’t an act. This wasn’t manipulation. This was Liza, taking something away from him that he’d treasured.

            He had treasured their friendship. Of that, she’d never had a single doubt.

            “Yes, but not right now. I don’t know how to be your friend right now,” she confessed. “But I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”

            He took another step forward, then another, until the tips of their shoes were millimeters apart. He searched her face before cupping her cheek in his palm.

            Warm and strong. Just like he’d always been.

            “How long?” he asked.

            Knowing she was cracking, she pressed her cheek into his hand. “How long will it take me to figure it out?”

            “No. How long have you felt this way?”

            She wanted to scream No! She wanted to tell him that he couldn’t have that piece of her. But then his thumb swept across her cheek. It was a tender touch. The touch of a lover.

            But he wasn’t and he never would be.

            Still, the words came tumbling out. “Since I was seventeen years old.”

            He gasped. “You were too young. I was too old.”

            “You were twenty, Tom. Not too old. Not that it matters. I’m not seventeen anymore and you’re not twenty, but you still don’t have the same feelings that I do. That’s why I moved out. You’ll never feel the way I do and I can’t live my life wishing that you did. Eventually you’ll meet someone new and you’ll bring her home and . . .” A sob choked her, but Liza forced it back down. “You’ll have a good life,” she finished in a whisper. “Which I really want for you.”