Empire of Desire by Rina Kent

“I guess.”

“I guess is neither a yes nor a no.”

“The world isn’t only yes or no. There are “I guess” moments—maybes, the unsure. Nuances and all of that.”

“And all of that, huh?” he repeats with a slight twitch in his lips. It’s the unicorn half-smile. The one he never offered me after I stupidly thought I could kiss him and get away with it.

“Uh-huh, and I have a lot of them.”

“A lot of what?”

“Nuances and all of that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He tips his chin toward the door. “Now, let’s go. We’re late.”

The wedding ceremony.

Ours. Mine and Nate’s.

My cheeks burn so hot, I’m surprised I don’t go up in flames or explode or something equally embarrassing. Because, holy shit, this is actually happening.

How does someone react to being married to their one-time crush, who they kind of got over—but not really—and who also happens to be their dad’s best friend?

Because I think I need a manual or something. One that doesn’t make me act like the age he so obviously disregards.

“Yeah, okay. Sure.”

“Those are three words for the same thing.”

“So?” My voice sounds a little bit squeaky and kind of breathy.

He pauses, that line returning to his forehead. “Are you nervous?”

“No! I can handle this.”

“Are you sure? Because if you’re not feeling well, we can—”

“I’m not a child, Nate. I stopped being that a long time ago, and do you know what that means? It means I can make my own decisions and function under stress. It means I know this marriage is important, not only to protect Dad’s assets, but also those of everyone at W&S and their clients. So I can do this, okay?”

“Okay.”

He says it calmly, casually, like he believes my words wholeheartedly, even more than I do.

“Okay,” I repeat, releasing a puff of air. “Let’s go.”

“You still didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?”

“What am I to you?”

It comes to me then, the answer he’s been fishing for since he asked the question. Or maybe it’s my own twisted brain that comes up with it and refuses to let it go. Because once the thought was planted there, it’s been impossible to get rid of it.

So I say the one thing that makes sense. “After today? My husband.”

The husband I’m not allowed to touch.





10





Gwyneth





The getting married part didn’t make me want to throw my guts up.

I mean, it should’ve been simple, but it really wasn’t.

Probably because I was half-dazed and half-fuming at Aspen’s presence. Yes, I knew she was going to be there. She’s close to Nate’s age and works with him, after all. Gag.

But yeah, seeing her there might’ve brought out the temper I usually try to bury inside. It’s toxic, you know. Like, super toxic, and I don’t want to be that person in front of Nate on our wedding day.

Aspen didn’t do anything either. Her mere existence is enough to push me to my limit.

Anyway, it’s over. We’re married. We put on rings in front of the judge, but we removed them as soon as the ceremony ended because Nate made it clear that this whole marriage is a secret and no one but the four of us, and Susan, will know about it. He has those rings now, in his pocket, and he’ll probably throw them away the minute he’s out of view.

We’ll have our certificate soon and then everything will fall into place like a domino effect. And yeah, I still can’t believe it, but I’ll get used to it. I guess.

After we get home—without Aspen—and I pinch myself a few times, I’ll add her name to the A section of negative words.

Because why is she so close to him? And only him? Dad can’t stand her—same, Dad, same—and it’s mutual. She’s not interested in the social game, so why is she interested in Nate of all people? Why is she relaxed around him and why does she talk to him when she’s usually stuck up and mean and witchy?

Then it hits me when we’re leaving City Hall. Does she…love him? Or maybe they’re sleeping together.

I steal a peek at them since they went out first and are now descending the stairs in front of me. They’re talking in hushed whispers because the world can’t know their secrets. They’re so in tune, so comfortable with each other that I think I’m really going to throw up now.

Shit. They’re definitely sleeping together, aren’t they?

My hand finds my bracelet and I squeeze it so tight, I nearly rip it off.

“You okay?”

I slowly break eye contact with the scene to focus on Sebastian, Nate’s much more approachable nephew whom I might be following all over social media just to see glimpses of his uncle in his updates.

Since Sebastian’s parents died when he was young, his grandparents adopted him, but it was Nate who basically brought him up. They have an easy-going, heartwarming relationship in which Sebastian basically tries to annoy his uncle and usually fails. He can be a stone, that way, Nate. But when his nephew chose to follow in his footsteps by becoming a lawyer, Nate looked the proudest I’ve ever seen him.