Empire of Desire by Rina Kent

Not me.

Well, I might have been a bit scared in the past, when I was young and clueless, but not anymore.

I bring out some of the vegetables we brought and start washing them under the faucet. “What type of person was Nicholas?”

“The heir to the Weaver clan.”

“Not your brother?”

“That too, but his most important role was as the promised prince and he was treated as such.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You’re a member of the Weaver family, too.”

“Only in name. I was never as good as Nick at anything, whether it was studies, sports, or even existing. He aced them all and I was meant to be number two.”

“You’re not number two, Nate.” You’re my number one. But I don’t say that, because it would get emotional and messy. That’s what feelings are. Messy. “Did you hate him for being your parents’ favorite?”

“Sometimes it felt that way, but I could’ve never really hated Nick.”

“Why?”

There’s a small smile on his face as he chops the vegetables. “Because he was my parent. Being ten years older than me, he stepped into the role so easily. He’s the one who made sure I was taken care of, that I ate and slept well. He’s the one who spent all-nighters by my side when I got sick, because my mother didn’t give a fuck. He taught me what a father should teach his son. Again, because my father was too checked-out to pay me any attention. It’s thanks to him that I know what the world is all about.”

“He sounds so cool.”

“He was. Nick was also a natural leader, which is why it made the most sense for him to follow in my parents’ footsteps. They had great plans for him and had his political career all mapped out ever since he was a toddler. But he threw it all away by marrying a middle-class woman my mother didn’t approve of. They started a fucking drama about it, especially my mother. She was vicious and hurt Julia, Nick’s wife, by demanding he divorce her.”

Jeez. Debra is a bitch who only likes her sons divorced. Or married to the women she picks, I guess. “You mean like she did to you?”

“Her reaction to me was nothing compared to how she acted with Nick and Julia. She was an absolute nightmare and used her influence to have Julia fired from her job and basically blacklisted her in New York City.”

“What did Nick do?” I stop pretending that I’m focused on helping him prepare the ingredients and lean against the counter to face him.

“He fought it at first, but it was too much drama and daily fights and he was caught in the middle. But then he gave my parents a choice—either they leave Julia alone or he’d burn all the plans they had for him. They threatened to disown him, and I never saw my brother as relieved as he was in that moment. As if he’d been carrying a load since he was born and he could finally get rid of it. He chose to be disowned, took Julia, and left the country. Just like that. A few years later, he and his wife died in an accident and Sebastian came to live with us.”

I see it then. The pain. It’s in the way his shoulders hunch and his movements turn stiff.

The reason he’s been building the forts isn’t because of coldness, it’s due to pain.

“You hate him for it, don’t you? You hate that he left you alone with the parents who never cared about you. He abandoned you.”

“I was old enough. He didn’t abandon me.”

“You were what? Ten when he left? You weren’t old enough, Nate.”

“He did what he had to do. I don’t blame him for wanting out of my parents’ clutches. I would’ve done the same if I were him.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You took care of Sebastian after his parents died and never left him in his grandparents’ clutches. Not once did you turn your back on him, not even when he was acting up a few years ago. Because you didn’t want him to be like his father or you, right? You wanted him to have all the options so he could pick his own future.”

“He deserves that.”

“And you deserved not to be abandoned back then by both your parents and your brother. They’re assholes.”

He pauses chopping. “No calling Nick an asshole.”

“But he was. He knew you’d be all alone and still left anyway because he was selfish. Like my mother. People like them don’t care about who they leave behind and then pick up their lives as if we never happened, and that’s wrong, okay? It’s messed up and hurts on empty days because I keep thinking, was I not good enough? Was I just a stone in her life that she so easily kicked away and moved on with her life? Was I unnecessary?”

“Hey.” He grabs me by the shoulders and the warmth of his big, strong hands seeps under my skin. It’s a safety net, one I can hold on to with all my might and not worry that it’ll break and let me go.

“You’re not fucking unnecessary, Gwyneth. Do you hear me?”

“You’re not unnecessary either, okay? Fuck your parents for only realizing your worth after losing your brother. I want to punch them. Especially your mother. She’s the worst ever. At least my own mother decided to disappear from the get-go; Debra was there but did nothing to earn the title of a mother. I’m going to tell her all of this when I see her next time.”