The Summer Proposal by Vi Keeland

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

For the next half hour, I pushed my food around my plate with my fork. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t think straight. It was hard to even hear over the thoughts swirling in my head. Gabriel tried to make small talk, but when they came to take our plates, I couldn’t have told you one thing we’d spoken about.

“I’m flying out on the redeye tonight. Today was a public holiday in England, so the university is closed, but I need to make it back by the time class starts tomorrow.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“Do you think we could have dinner tonight?”

I felt a little bad that he’d come all this way, but I shook my head. “I need some time to absorb everything.”

He tried to force a smile as he nodded, but failed miserably. After he paid the check, we stood outside the restaurant awkwardly.

Gabriel took my hand. “I need to say a few more things, because they need to be said in person, and I’m not sure when we’ll see each other again.”

“Okay…”

“I was lost for a while. Losing Jason, finding out my parents weren’t my parents, finally getting my book published only to realize I don’t have what it takes—even watching your career take off like a rocket. I let it all make me feel unworthy, and I sought validation from the wrong places—a new job, dating again, even moving to another country. I was ashamed of who I was, but also afraid to let you know what I was feeling. I never stopped loving you, Georgia. I just hated myself more.” His eyes brimmed with tears, and I had to swallow to keep my own at bay.

I squeezed his hand. None of that made me feel any better. “I’m sorry I didn’t see how much you were hurting.”

“It’s not your fault. I hid it behind my big ego pretty well.” He forced a smile. “Would it be okay to hug you goodbye?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

Gabriel held me tight for a long time before letting go. I could feel his reluctance to leave, and it reminded me how I’d felt saying goodbye to him before he left for London.

“I’ll give you some time before I call. Unless you want to talk before that.”

“Thank you. Take care, Gabriel.”



• • •



I’d stared out the window for so long that the motion-sensor light in my office flicked off. Though I didn’t notice until Maggie screeched.

“Shit!” She held her hand over her heart when the lights turned back on. “I didn’t think you were in here because it was dark. I just came to leave these samples on your desk.”

“Sorry.”

She zoned in on my face. “What’s the matter? Was your trip not good? When we texted over the weekend, it sounded like you were having a great time.”

“No, my trip was fine.”

“Is something wrong here at work?”

I shook my head. “Gabriel’s here.”

Maggie’s eyes widened. “Here, as in New York?”

I nodded.

“Have you seen him?”

“He was in my apartment last night when I got home. Waiting for me. Max was with me.”

Her jaw dropped. “Do you need help burying the body Max murdered?”

I shook my head. “I thought it might be touch and go for a moment there. I could feel the anger radiating from Max. But he was the man he’s been from the start—thoughtful and considerate. We talked in private. I didn’t want to ask Max to leave with Gabriel in my apartment, so I had them both leave, and I met Gabriel at a restaurant for lunch today.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“You were in a meeting when I came in, and I wasn’t even sure why he was here.”

“Well, what did he want?”

“He wants to close our open relationship.”

Maggie rolled her eyes. “Of course he does. Because open relationship meant other women opened their legs for him, but you kept yours closed.”

I sighed. “Of course that’s the reason for his change of heart. But the choices Gabriel has made lately… Even if I want them to, they don’t erase what we had together when things were good. He’s hurt me, there’s no doubt about that, but I was in love with him, Mags. I’d decided he was it for me.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I said I needed some time. Gabriel and I have a long history. And most of that was good. I care about him.”

“I know you do.”

I shook my head. “But then there’s Max, who I’m crazy about. I don’t know what it is about him, but he makes me want to live more. Like I want to go to the park and have sex while looking at five-million-dollar houses in the Hollywood Hills with the realtor waiting outside, and hide away in a hotel giving myself a time-out from the world. He makes me feel alive.”

“Umm…can we go back to the sex with the realtor waiting outside?”

I smiled sadly. “But Max is temporary. He’s leaving at the end of the summer. I suppose long-distance relationships are hard, not impossible, but he only signed on for what we have.”

“If Max was not leaving and wanted an exclusive relationship with you, what would you do?”

How could I be sure about anything at this point? I needed time to think. I dropped my head to my hands. “Oh, God. I can’t even figure out what to do with Gabriel. You can’t ask me that.”