The Damaged (The Insiders Trilogy #2) - Tijan by Tijan

“Mom.” My throat was seizing. Emotions were clogging it up.

“I’ll leave him. You leave yours. We’ll go back to Brookley. The hospital’s waiting for me to decide if I’m staying or coming back. You can remain at Hawking, like the original plan, but we’ll forget them. We can still do it.” Her voice was trembling. Her hand was shaking. “We can still go back. Let’s go back, honey. Let’s go back to being normal.”

So I wasn’t the only one struggling with the changes.

But it was too late.

She saw the look in my eyes and closed hers again. Her hand let go of mine, and she faced the window. “Right.” Her head hung down. “Right.”

There were no other words that could take away what she saw in mine.

She was scared. She wanted to run, but I couldn’t. I loved Kash too much. I loved my siblings too much.

I scooted over to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her to my chest.

I cradled my mom like she was my child, and she wrapped an arm around me, hugging me just as tight. I rested the side of my head against hers, and as her eyes remained closed the rest of the drive, I was the one who watched the outside world passing us by.





THIRTY-TWO


On game day, I texted Melissa I was outside.

She wasn’t prepared for the vision she got when she came down to the SUV.

Me, in full Hawking garb. I was decked out in jeans, a gray Hawking hoodie with the maroon letters spelled out over the front, Hawking gloves, and a Hawking stocking hat.

Next to me was Kash, in jeans and a Hawking University black blazer. He had a Hawking ball cap on and pulled low, which made me swoon when I first saw him. The cap hid his eyes, but not that square jawline. And his jeans and blazer made me want to jump him. Kash was hot on a normal day, but he was sizzling dressed as a normal person. He even had a different posture, which I don’t know if he was aware of doing, but it worked. His shoulders were lowered a little, bunched down, so his athletic frame still made the mouth water.

Still so damned gorgeous.

And we weren’t alone.

Matt joined us, too. He went all out even more in Hawking apparel.

A maroon Hawking hoodie with the warm-ups that players wore before a basketball game, maroon colors and “Hawking” stretched up the side of his leg. He had a maroon stocking cap on, a Hawking maroon scarf wrapped around his neck, and he waved the Hawking colored pom-poms. Maroon-and-gray-colored fabric ribbons attached to two sticks of wood.

“Whoa.”

The front door of the SUV opened and Scott came out, looking similar to us except he was in jeans and a gray sweatshirt. No Hawking letters anywhere. He would blend in with everyone.

Fitz was dressed similarly, too.

“Well, get in.” Matt was impatient, waving a pom-pom at me. “We have a game to scope out, blend in with, and in no way at all draw any extra attention to ourselves.” He waved that pom-pom again, giving Kash a wicked grin. “Right, bud?”

Kash scowled at him, lounging back in the seat next to me. “Keep talking, Matt. I’m sure we can do something else to make you ‘blend.’”

Matt scowled back. His tone was amused, though. “Not fun, Kash. Not fun.”

“Going to a game with two guards, not having a full meeting ahead of time with the security staff, is not my idea of fun.”

I leaned into Kash’s side.

He might be tense, but he was going for me, and we’d had a full conversation the night before about whether we should notify campus security or not. Somehow it was decided to go and try not to draw much attention to us. I didn’t know if it would work, but we were going to try. Skating under the radar was the plan.

Matt, on the other hand, had no idea how to not draw attention to himself. The pom-poms were a prime example. Melissa climbed in and took the seat next to Matt. She glanced to me. “Liam was going to save us seats by him and his friends.”

“I thought his friends were on the team.”

Melissa had never had Kash speak to her, and it was noticeable. Her eyes got big, and she froze a second. “I know. But…” She seemed to lose her train of thought. “Oh. No. He does, but he’s friends with other guys, too. He was big into sports before his injury, so most of his friends are on the basketball team.”

Kash cursed. “We can’t sit by them.”

Matt frowned at him. “Why not? You look like an athlete. I have a ‘trim figure’ myself. And Scott and Fitz are tall. They’ll blend. Especially with basketball guys.”

“Athletes draw attention. That’s what we don’t want to do.”

“I think it’s perfect. Jocks usually hang in large groups, so when people are looking, they’ll be looking at the players they already know. They’ll skip over faces they don’t know, and your face is half hidden with that hat. With how she’s dressed, Bailey looks like all the other college girls that’ll be hanging around the jocks. Her hair is hidden, so it’s just her face they’d recognize her off of, and I’ll make friends. People will think I’m just another jock that doesn’t start. It’ll be great.”

“I still don’t like it.”

Matt’s eyes flicked upward. “What a shock. We’re still doing it and you know it. Deal with it.”