The Damaged (The Insiders Trilogy #2) - Tijan by Tijan

THIRTY-FOUR



Kash


I was leaning against a wall, watching Bailey with her friends. Torie. Tamara. All three of them were focused on Melissa, who looked like a minnow swimming among sharks and knowing it. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost. Bailey and the other two were protecting her, but whatever was going on seemed important.

Word had gotten out.

It seemed the entire section we’d been sitting with decided they wanted to party with Matthew Francis. When we showed, they were already in the hotel lobby. The front desk attendants were in a fit, not knowing what to do, but Matt had been in his party mood. He said, “The more, the merrier,” so everyone was allowed up.

A few more groups arrived, but Matt made the decision to shut down the open invites. No one else had been let up, instead Scott reported that the lobby was filled with Hawking University students.

“You pissed I invited my guys?”

Matt came over, a drink in hand, his eyes glazed. He was starting to sway on his feet, too. I was hoping this wouldn’t be one of those nights.

I responded, “Yeah.”

He flinched.

I glanced back to the girls. “You asked.”

“I forget how honest you can be sometimes.”

“Do you know yourself?”

He snorted, leaning beside me and watching the girls, too. “True, but I know you hold back with B. and others.”

He was right.

“Tough love, brother. You earned it too many times for me to go back and tread water with you.”

He got quiet. My point was made.

He echoed it with a quiet, “I deserved that.”

I straightened from the wall and faced him. Taking his drink, I ignored his “Hey,” and sniffed it. “Fuck, Matt. What’s in here?”

“Vodka.”

“Mixed with rum?”

He flashed a grin. “Mixed with whatever the fuck was behind the bar that would make it taste good. And what is this?” He motioned between us before he took the drink back, his head resting against the wall.

He knew me. He knew what was coming.

He tipped his chin up. “You know, it was fun hanging out with you today. You didn’t have a stick up your ass.”

I shot back, “You know, it was fun hanging out with you today, too. You weren’t acting like a drug addict with a death wish.”

He cringed. “Shit.”

I didn’t blink. “Fuck.”

His gaze grew resigned, but he sipped his drink. “Okay. Lay it on me. Tell me what a fuckup I’ve been.”

I scowled now, because that wasn’t deserved. “When have I ever done that to you?”

His eyes fell to his drink.

He didn’t respond.

“I’ll take care of you. Make you leave a bad situation. Clean up after you. But when have I ever sat and lectured you? A few pointed words here and there, but shit, Matt. You deserved those. I’m not Peter. Don’t put your father issues on me just because I’ve helped take care of you. And for the record, brother, I enjoyed today because you were part of the group. You were in there, helping. You had focus, a goal, and you were doing it because you love your sister.”

A second flinch. A third. There was a fourth by the time I was done, and he stood there, his eyes unfocused as he grew quiet.

His face fell. Whatever was there, whatever attitude he was trying to fire up, crumbled. His head lowered. His drink too, so I grabbed it before it spilled. I handed it off to Scott, who was standing behind me.

Matt let loose a low and guttural “Fuuuck.”

His head came up. His eyes closed, and a harder “Fuck!” came out.

I frowned.

“You’re right. You’re completely right and I’m an idiot.”

Seeing eyes coming to us, I motioned to the side. “Let’s head to your TV room for privacy.”

Scott moved first, heading off to make sure it was open for us. Matt sighed, trailing behind.

Bailey tipped her head back as we passed by. “Everything okay?” Her hand moved behind her, palm up to me.

I caught her fingers with mine, sliding our hands over each other and pausing to kiss her forehead. “Everything’s fine.”

Melissa and Tamara let out audible sighs. Torie just grinned, her chest puffed up, and she gave me an approving look. I shot a pointed look from her to Bailey and back again. She got my message, clipping her head up and down.

She handed her drink off to someone else.

A few people were leaving the den, looking pissed off, but the expressions changed when they saw us coming. A few guys tried to say hello to Matt, and he replied, but halfheartedly. They looked to me, thinking about it. My eyes went flat. They didn’t give me the same greeting.

Scott laughed behind me.

Going inside, I told him, “Just keep one of you in the hallway. I want the rest out there with Bailey.”

Scott nodded, taking position at the end of the hall. The other guard returned.

“Connor came in, and a few others. They’re helping to man the lobby.”

That was good. “Thanks.”

The door shut behind us, and I hadn’t taken a second step inside before Matt was already going.

“I’m messed up. I’m so fucking messed up, Kash.” He sank down on the couch, burying his head into his hands. His elbows rested on his knees.