God of Wrath (Legacy of Gods #3) by Rina Kent

That I was strong enough to not have one of those panic attacks like I did in the past whenever sex was mentioned.

I just didn’t count on everything that happened afterward.

I’ve driven myself to the edge countless times since, especially after the fire, and my sleep paralysis has become more frequent and filled with images that make me cry and scream.

Only internally, though.

On the outside, I can’t move. I can’t call for help. I can only shriek in the confinements of my soul.

It’s like I’m yelling into the void with no one to hear me. I’m being ripped apart by the black hands and no one can save me.

I’ve started drinking all sorts of energy drinks, coffee, and any caffeinated stuff to stop myself from closing my eyes at night.

Sleep scares the shit out of me.

Another drink slides in front of me. I stare at the sparkling blue and realize I finished my current one.

Landon winks at me.

I smile but with no humor whatsoever as I snatch it.

Caffeine equals no sleep. Even if it’s unhealthy.

“Now that you've cooled down,” he whispers near my ear. “How about we talk business?”

“Business?”

“Annika takes you to the Heathens’ mansion for parties, no?”

“Rarely.”

“Rarely is an entry.”

I narrow my eyes. “Why are you asking?”

“I thought maybe you could finish what you started and get me a layout of the mansion.”

“Are you serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You must be out of your mind if you think I’ll help you again after you instigated arson.”

“Shh. They think it was the Serpents’ doing. They even burned their warehouse and beat them to a pulp for revenge. I finished the popcorn so fast while watching that particular show.”

A sadistic glint shines in his eyes. He’s enjoying this. Too much. It’s almost a part of who he is now, and nothing will stop him from carrying out his plans.

People like Lan don’t have a motive, a goal, or an endgame. They just get off on causing anarchy.

“I’m not going to help you with your plans,” I say with a calm I don’t feel. “Not now, not ever.”

Then I stand up, providing a flimsy excuse about needing the bathroom.

Instead, I go outside for fresh air, thankful for the slow disappearance of all the noise.

Some drunk uni kids stumble out, acting all rowdy and reeking of alcohol.

I walk in the opposite direction and exhale when I reach the car park.

My hair stands on end and I get that distinctive feeling of being watched and cryptic eyes following my every move.

Could it be him?

I look around, only to be greeted with a couple getting into their car and a guy talking on the phone at the far end.

Of course it’s nothing.

Why would I think he’s watching me when he hasn’t done it in weeks?

My chest deflates as I stand by my car’s door and pull out my phone to send a text in the girls’ group chat.

Cecily: I’m going home.

Ava: No, come back, Cecy. It’s no fun without you.

I appreciate her saying that, even though she thinks I’m too responsible and stiff to actually live.

But none of them know that I’ve already done something. The night I drove to that cottage and gave Jeremy the green light to ravage me was the day I felt the most alive in my whole life.

None of my friends will find out about it, though, because they might look at me as if I were a freak.

Glyndon: What she said.

Ava: Remi said of course you’re leaving first, because you’re a nerdy prude and can’t handle fun times.

Cecily: Remi’s opinion doesn’t matter.

Ava: OMG!! You’re letting him get away with it? I only said that so you’d come back and put him in his place.

I’d rather preserve that energy to read my mangas all night long, thank you very much.

Cecily: Night. Don’t get too drunk. I mean it.

I’m about to tell Glyn to keep an eye on her, but I get a glimpse of a shadow in the car’s window.

It’s only for a moment in time.

A fraction of a second is all it takes for me to get caught in dark eyes.

The same eyes that I can’t forget about, despite trying to. Despite convincing myself that he’s nothing more than a devil and I should be thankful he’s no longer interested in me.

My mouth opens, but he slams a hand over it. A large, masculine hand that steals my breath.

Or maybe that’s not the entire reason behind my inability to breathe or the shaking in my limbs.

“Shh. Not a sound.”

I gulp and that makes me taste him. The hint of cologne, wood, and leather mixed with his natural scent.

Something that I couldn’t forget even if I tried.

“You’re coming with me.”

My body quivers for an entirely different reason as I spin around and shove at his chest.

I put all my strength behind the hit, too, completely unconcerned about the fact that he could subdue me in no time. Or that I’m no match for him physically.

“I’m going nowhere with you.” I pant. “We’re already over.”

And he ignored me.

He ghosted me.

He gave me the best experience of my life, then completely erased me.