Blood of My Monster (Monster Trilogy #1 ) by Rina Kent

I don’t dare look up at him as if I’ve done something wrong. The fact that he still has his arm around my waist doesn’t help, though.

He lifts my chin with an index finger and leans forward, so I have no choice but to be trapped in those punishing eyes.

My lips are a breath away from his, and I can’t help staring at his mouth. It’s clamped in a line, the lower lip fuller than the upper one, and his strong jaw is set.

If he inches closer, the tiny space that separates us will be gone, and I’ll get to taste those lips—

What the…

No.

“What are you doing, Captain?” I whisper so low, I wouldn’t be surprised if he can’t hear me, and for a moment, I think he doesn’t.

Or I wish he doesn’t.

Just then, his thumb and forefinger squeeze my chin until I wince.

“That’s what I’d like to ask, Lipovsky. What the fuck did you think you were doing back there? Did I or did I not tell you not to put yourself in danger?”

“I…had no other choice. He was smart enough not to have fallen for a stick or a rifle. It smelled like a trap, even to me.”

“This fucking—” He cuts himself off and breathes evenly. “You defied direct orders, and you’ll be punished for it.”

“Come on! I got us the guy…”

I trail off when he glares at me with his scrutinizing eyes. Jeez. It’s impossible to keep staring at him and not suffer an injury of some sort.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “And it’s not like I wanted to get shot on purpose. It hurts, you know.”

He releases a long breath, and I’m not sure if it’s in frustration or resignation, but considering that he releases my chin and waist, I’d go with the second.

The loss of his touch leaves me inexplicably empty as he stands up and walks to the window. His movements are light and inaudible, despite his massive build. At first glance, he’s no different than a giant cat lurking in the middle of the night, waiting for prey to pounce on.

For some reason, I feel like that prey.

When he opens the curtains, I’m blinded by a white fog.

I can’t see anything beyond the heavy snow that’s blazing outside.

In a moment, this small room feels like a haven against the exterior world.

My hurt shoulder is less tense, and the pain dulls to a throbbing ache. I grab the blanket and pull it up to my chest, my heart beating loudly.

Even my ears feel like they’re on fire as I stare at the rippling muscles of his back.

“Captain…”

“Call me Kirill. The old couple will find it weird that you address your supposed husband as Captain. They’re too old-fashioned and need clear labels.”

I try to speak, but the words get stuck in the back of my throat, so I breathe deeply first. “Did you… Why did you dress me as a woman?”

“We wouldn’t have been able to fool them if you were in your man look. You scream soldier, even now.” He glances at me, and I swallow. “If you prefer being a man, you’ll have to wait until we’re out of here.”

“You…aren’t going to ask why I did this?”

“It’s none of my business.”

“But it’s against the military rules.”

“Right. That.” He seems to be deep in thought. “I don’t give a fuck. People should be allowed to be whoever they want to be, so if you prefer being a man, be a man.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be a woman, it’s that I can’t. I…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Aleksander.”

“It’s Aleksandra.” My face and neck heat as I say the words.

I never thought I would be introducing myself, and to Captain Kirill, no less.

Kirill.

That’s what he told me to call him. Just Kirill.

A small twitch lifts his lips. It’s not exactly a smile but something close. “I know.”

“You do?”

“You said that when you were almost unconscious. It’s Aleksandra, not Aleksander.”

“Oh.” I bite my lower lip, and his attention follows the motion, slowly raising my temperature.

I release my lip in a jerk and clear my throat. “I-is that when you found out I was a woman?”

“No.”

“Then…when did you?”

“When I first saw you being assaulted by your ex-teammates.”

“What?”

“What?” he repeats coolly with unbelievable calm.

“You…knew from the beginning?”

“Was I not supposed to?”

“No. And, seriously, can you stop talking as if this is a trivial matter?”

He turns around and faces me while crossing his arms. “I’m all ears.”

It’s kind of hard to look him in the eye for too long, let alone talk to his face, but I manage to control my abnormal reaction. “I…have to look like a man despite myself, so…uh, can you please keep it a secret?”

“As I said, it’s none of my business.”

A heavy weight lifts off my chest, but the relief is short-lived. I’m hit by all the times I was trying to toughen up, speak and act like a man.

The captain must’ve thought me laughable.