The Love Wager by Lynn Painter

            Jack: Please shoot me in the face if I’m ever looking for a Corolla, and taxes are for suckers. Regarding what I can provide, I’m a landscape architect, so I can design a backyard oasis that will make you never want to leave the house.

            Hallie: Sounds wonderful, but I live in an apartment.

            Jack: I have a Parisian honeymoon that I’ve already paid for.

            Hallie could see by the bubbles that he was still typing, but she didn’t care.

            Hallie: That’s it. I want it. I get Paris if I win.

            Man, she hadn’t been on a vacation since she lived at home and her family went on a trip to Milwaukee. Nothing in the world sounded better to her than traveling abroad.

            Jack: Okay, um, I wasn’t done (did you not see the text bubbles, Piper?). I was saying that I have a Parisian honeymoon that I bought for Vanessa, but now that I’m not going, I will give you my airline points.

            Hallie: After thinking the win would get me a trip to Paris, airline points sounds like winning a coupon. Keep thinking.

            Jack: I have a LOT of points. More than enough for you to fly wherever you want for free.

            Hallie: Still feels like a loss, but I will take it. Them. I will take your points.

            Jack: So what can you give me? We don’t have a deal until you give me something good.

            Hallie started thinking, racking her brain for something she had that might be valuable to him. She looked around her crappy living room—maybe he wanted an Ansel Adams coffee table book?—and just saw crap.

            Hallie: Do you like baseball?

            Jack: Yes.

            Hallie: When my ex and I broke up (he was very awful so don’t judge me) I took an autographed baseball of his just to make him sad.

            Jack: You fiend. I don’t really get into signed memorabilia, but who signed it?

            Hallie: The Cubs.

            Jack: As in, Chicago? And which Cubs players?

            Hallie: All of them that were on the World Series team.

            Jack: Hold please. I need a minute.

            Hallie took her bowl and can into the kitchen, set them in the sink, and went into her room. For some reason, she always felt more alone when she was sitting in the living room at night than when she was in the bedroom.

            Hallie: WTF are you doing?

            Jack: Trying to remember to breathe. Are you telling me that you have an MLB baseball that is signed by the entire 2016 World Series team?

            Hallie: Yup.

            Jack: I went to Game 7 with my brother, my dad, and my uncle Mack. It was amazing.

            Hallie: So the ball works to incentivize your love?

            Jack: Absolutely it does. Holy shit, my father will cry like a baby and deem me the favorite child if I give that to him for Christmas.

            Hallie: So you have daddy issues. Got it.

            Jack: Very funny. This wager is brilliant. I literally will not give up and will date my ass off, just because I need that ball before Christmas.

            Hallie: It’s September, dumbass. You really think you’ll find love by then?

            Jack: I will die trying. Doesn’t the free airfare put you in the same frame of mind?

            Hallie: I mean, I guess. I AM dying for a vacation, but since I’ll still have to pay for lodging and daily spending, it feels like something that I’ll put off forever.

            Jack: This is only fun if you’re trying, Hal.

            Hallie: I will try, I promise.

            Jack: What if I throw in 5 nights at the hotel of your choice?

            Hallie: Ooh, I think you’ve got a deal.

            Jack: I’m only agreeing because I know I won’t lose, btw.

            Hallie pulled back her comforter and climbed into bed. Sure you won’t.