The Revenge by Tijan

There was no anger on her face.

Oh, God.

She was—she was remorseful. I saw it. I saw it in her eyes, and no, no, no.

No!

“Stop it,” I growled, advancing on her. My hands were in fists. “Stop. You don’t get to be the good one now. You’re not the victim here. You’re not. You victimized. You hurt me. You hurt me on the same day I lost my—”

An arm went around my waist.

I lost it.

I couldn’t keep—Jesus, why wasn’t she fighting me? I needed her to fight me.

I needed it to breathe. I needed it to—There was so much pressure inside me. I felt like a balloon ready to pop, and I had to hurt her to make some of it go away.

That arm wasn’t restraining me.

That arm was just holding me. A chest came up behind me, and I knew that chest.

Kash was standing there behind me, holding me, and his head bent. His lips were on my shoulder.

I was still trembling.

I hated Victoria. I hated her with everything in me.

She was the one who did all of this …

No.

I stopped, freezing in place.

That wasn’t me talking in my head.

I smelled Chrissy. I felt her. I could hear her laughter, and I sagged in Kash’s arms.

I was done.

Everything Victoria did to me, I was doing to her.

Round and round.

The train never stops. But I was hurting. The pressure was building, building, building. It was going to rip me apart, and right behind it was pain. Just pure and horrifying and paralyzing pain, and I couldn’t feel that. I didn’t want to feel that. I wanted to rip apart my skin, push my hand deep inside, grab that pain, and yank it out of me.

I wanted it out of me for good.

Bailey.

That was my mom again. I was hearing me, and I knew she wasn’t there, but she was. She’d come back to haunt me.

“Mom,” I broke, my head folding down. My knees gave out, and down I went.

Kash caught me and he lifted me.

I curled into him, just needing him, and then he was moving through the crowd.

“Here.” That was Torie.

A door opened. We were through it. The club’s music faded.

Kash was carrying me down a hallway. Then we were in an elevator. We were going up, and then another hallway.

“Sir.” His guard.

A door opened, and then I was being lowered onto a couch.

I looked up, but the room was dark. There were neon lights flaring from a window behind him. He’d brought me to his office.

I hadn’t been in this room for so long.

“Stay, okay?” He placed his hand on my shoulder, bending over me. Concern marred his forehead. “I have to go and talk to her. Will you be okay until I get back?”

Would I be okay?

I didn’t answer, just lowered my head and curled in on myself.

I would always be okay by myself. Didn’t he know?

I was a Hayes. That’s what we did.





THIRTY-SIX

Kash


Victoria had been taken to Torie’s office. I walked in, not caring when she blanched.

She should blanch.

“Are you kidding me?”

That was my greeting to her, with my nostrils flared, and she gulped. She’d been pale already. Some of that was from the state we found her in, the detox, but she was here, and I was regretting my moment of trying to be the good fucking guy.

“I’m sorry.”

I cocked my head to the side. “That’s all you have to say?” I took a step closer, growling, “What the fuck are you doing here? I told them to cut you loose and send you to a rehab. Funny,” I clipped out, “my club doesn’t look like the insides of a drug treatment center.”

“I know. I know.” She held up her hands, backing away a step.

Fuck that.

I wasn’t in her space.

I wasn’t pushing to be in her space.

I had taken one step toward her, then locked up, because right now the woman I loved was crying in my office and I was down here, dealing with this one.

“Start talking, Victoria. You’re taking time away from me being with Bailey right now and I’m not happy about it.”

“Okay.” She edged back another step.

“If you take one more goddamn step backward as if I’m the aggressor here, I will kick you the fuck out of Naveah so quick, your head will spin.”

She stopped edging.

My nostrils flared again. “Out with it. Now.”

“I’m sorry!” she cried out, her arms flinging outward. The dam broke. All the fearful crap vanished and she was dissolving again. Her chest was heaving. “Okay? That’s what I came to say. I’m sorry for everything. Everything!”

I opened my mouth.

She kept going, “I’m sorry for being with you, knowing that if you fell in love with me that I would actually try to control you for your grandfather. I’m sorry that I never told you. I’m sorry that I was so scared of him and what he would do that I put my family and him first. I’m sorry about all the insanely bitchy moments I’ve had. I’m even sorry about little cutting comments I made to Seraphina. I’m sorry that I knew Quinn was a monster and I never said anything. I’m sorry that I cosigned with Quinn, using her and not even thinking about who she could hurt. I’m sorry Bailey was hurt by your grandfather. I’m sorry for what I said to her. But, I’m not sorry that I fell in love with you and I’m not sorry that I still love you, but I know that you’ll never love me back.” She stopped, breathing hard. The tears had left black makeup streaks over her face.