Loathe to Love You by Ali Hazelwood

            I laugh. “No, it’s . . . when you write your last name, are there cool, fancy letters in it?” I blurt the question out and instantly regret it. I’m not even sure what I’m asking. I’ll just roll with it, I guess?

            “It has an n. And a w. Are they considered fancy?”

            Not really. Pretty boring. “Sure.”

            He nods. “What about the k? It’s my favorite letter.”

            “Er, yeah. That’s fancy, too.” Still boring.

            “But surely not the a?”

            “Uh, well, I guess the a is . . .”

            His mouth is twitching. Again. He’s teasing me. Again. I hate him.

            “Damn you,” I say without heat.

            He’s almost smiling. “No umlauts. No diacritics. No Møller. Or Kiærskou. Or Adelsköld. Though I did go to school with them.” I nod, vaguely disappointed. Till he asks: “Disappointed?” and then I can’t help hiding behind my croissant and laughing. When I’m done he’s definitely smiling, and he says, “You should really eat that. Or you’ll lose your client and NASA’s next rocket will explode.”

            “Right, yes.” I tear a piece away. Hold it out to him. “Would you like a bite? I don’t mind sharing.”

            “Really? You don’t mind sharing my own famously disgusting croissant with me?”

            “What can I say?” I grin. “I’m a generous soul.”

            He shakes his head. And then adds, as though it just occurred to him, “I know a really good French bistro.”

            My entire body perks up. “Oh?”

            “They have a bakery, too.”

            My body perks up and tingles. “Yeah?”

            “They make excellent croissants. I go there often.”

            The sun is still shining, the birds are still chirping, I’ve now spotted five butterflies, and . . . the noise in the background slowly recedes. I look at Erik, study the way the shade from the trees falls across his face, study him as closely as he’s studying me.

            In my life, I’ve been asked out for drinks by enough random acquaintances that I think maybe, just maybe, I might know what he’s trying to get at. And in my life, I’ve wanted to say no to drinks with every single one of those random acquaintances, which is why I have learned to prevent the question from even being asked. I am good at broadcasting disinterest and unavailability. Very, very good.

            And yet, here I am.

            On a New York bench.

            Clutching a croissant.

            Holding my breath and . . . hoping?

            Ask me, I think at him. Because I want to try that French bistro that you know. With you. And talk more about money laundering and a whole-systems approach to environmental engineering and purple underwear that is actually lavender.

            Ask me, Erik Nowak. Ask me, ask me, ask me. Ask me.

            There are cars in the distance, and people laughing, and emails piling up in my inbox, eighteen floors above us. But my eyes hold Erik’s for a long, stretched-out moment, and when he smiles at me, I notice that his eyes are just as blue as the sky.





Five


            Present

            According to the plaque above the floor-selection console (which, by the way, does not include an emergency button; I am mentally composing a strongly worded email that will likely never get sent), the elevator has a 1,400-pound capacity. The inside, I’d estimate, is about fifteen square feet, fourteen of which are inconveniently taken up by Erik. (As usual: thank you, Erik.) A stainless steel handrail is installed in the innermost side, and the walls are actually quite pretty, white baked enamel or some similar material that maybe dates the car a bit, but hey, it’s better than mirrors. I hate mirrors in elevators, and I’d hate them the most in this elevator. They’d make avoiding glimpses of Erik about three times harder than it already is.

            On the ceiling, between the two energy-efficient (I hope?) recessed lights that are currently off, I noticed one large metal pane. And that’s what I’ve been staring at for the past minute or so. I am no elevator expert, but I’m almost positive that’s the emergency exit.