Not in Love by Ali Hazelwood

I walked away, heat rising up my throat.

He was there, again. On Harkness business. Laughing, as though the terrible things they were doing to Kline, to us, were just a joke. I sat at my desk for several minutes as every moment, every second, every touch and hitched breath and heated look from last Saturday raked through me like nails down my back. I’d had him. Why did I still want him? What was I supposed to—

A knock on the doorframe. “Dr. Siebert? Hi.”

Shit. “Hi.”

“I’m Minami. With Harkness. It’s so nice to meet you.”

“Rue.” I stood and we shook hands over my desk, my mountains of Post-its, the weekly calendar Tisha had given me as a Christmas present. Each page had a different selfie.

Of Tisha.

“Do you have a minute to talk?”

I wondered if it was going to be about Eli. Then whether I was losing my damn mind: we were two engineers in a professional setting—surely we could pass the Bechdel test. “Please, sit. How can I help you?”

“I was looking at your project, actually. A colleague told me about your microbial coating, because it aligns with the work I did during my PhD.”

Bechdel test: failed. “You worked on food conservation?”

“For a bit. I ended up writing my dissertation on biofuels.”

“I see.” It explained why Harkness had been targeting Kline. If Minami was an expert, she must know the value of Florence’s research.

A curl of anger unfolded inside my stomach.

“I have some time before a meeting.” Minami sounded genuine. Nice. “I’d love to hear more about your work.”

“I turn in biweekly reports that are available for everyone to read. Do you have access to our science directory?”

“I do. But I’d love to hear from you—”

“No,” I said softly. “I’m sorry.”

Minami’s eyes widened, but her smile was steady. “If you’re busy, we could—”

“That’s not it. I’m not trying to be rude, but I don’t want to waste your time. Florence Kline is one of my closest friends.”

Minami’s smile didn’t dim, but her eyes lost some brightness. “Well, this is disappointing, but I understand.” She pressed her lips together. “Listen, Rue, it might not be my place, but I think fair warnings are everyone’s right, and—”

Another soft knock interrupted her. “You ready? The board is here.”

It was Eli’s voice. My heart thudded so loud, I was sure he could hear it. His hands gripped each side of the door, and I focused on his long fingers to avoid meeting his eyes. It was only when Minami stood that I realized that he wasn’t there for me.

“I’ll make a restroom stop and meet you there, Eli.”

“Sounds good.”

She waved her goodbyes at me, ducked under Eli’s arm, and left us.

Alone.

I stared at the place where she’d disappeared, feeling out of sorts.

“Rue,” Eli said. I couldn’t do anything except tense all my muscles. Hope that it’d keep me from shattering into tiny pieces.

“Rue,” he repeated, this time sounding entertained. Like he was laughing at me.

You have to answer him. You cannot ignore him. You have no reason to.

I glanced up. “Sorry. I was distracted. Hi, Eli.”

Our eyes met, and all of a sudden I felt as though he were touching me. He was spooling grateful, filthy praises in my ear as I came uncontrollably. He was gripping the hair at the back of my neck and showing me what he liked.

Then the floodgates opened, for real this time, in hot, near painful flashes. His open mouth trailing down my rib cage. His obvious arousal against my hip. The way his eyes had rolled back when I’d first taken him in my mouth. And then, the absolute befuddlement of coming apart around his fingers.

I’d had sex before, good sex. But with him it had been just—

“Rue.”

“Yes?”

His throat worked through a swallow. For a second he seemed—angry, maybe, or something else. For more than a second. But he quickly cycled through the emotion and emerged on the other side with one of his self-assured smiles. “Have a good day,” he said, maybe amused and maybe not. He pushed away from the doorframe and left, his determined steps ricocheting against the walls of the empty hallway, and it wasn’t until I couldn’t hear them anymore that I bent my head and managed to whisper, “You, too.”





13





THE AWFUL, SECRET ONES





RUE

It took about two hours for Eli’s words to stop echoing inside my head. After two more, Florence stopped by to see me.

“What happened at the board meeting?” I asked.

“Not much. Eric bought some of their lies, and they got some concessions, but nothing to worry about. I’ll need to send them some documents in their preferred format.” She rolled her eyes. “They’ll review and find nothing suspicious, because there’s nothing to be found, and everyone’s precious time will be happily wasted.” She shrugged. “At least Harkness promised not to have an on-site presence anymore. Hey, did I see Eli Killgore and Minami Oka loitering around your office earlier?”

“I . . . wasn’t here. I wouldn’t know.”