God of Ruin (Legacy of Gods #4) by Rina Kent

“It’s going to be okay, baby girl.” Dad places a hand on my shoulder to stop me from pacing the length of the sterile waiting area.

A few guards are scattered in front of the two entryways, led by Mom’s senior guards, Katya and Ruslan. They often played with us and made us feel safe growing up. But right now, nothing seems safe.

The walls are closing in on me and bile gathers at the back of my throat, threatening to make me vomit the contents of my stomach.

“How do you know, Dad?”

He stands in front of me, his face creasing with awe and searing happiness.

“What?” I ask.

“You called me Dad after such a long time. I…” An unnatural shine glints in his eyes. “I thought I would never hear you say that or talk again.”

“I guess I just needed another shock.” More tears stream down my face. “I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to him.”

“Don’t say that, Mia.”

“He put himself in that position because of me. What if…what if…”

My father wraps me in a hug and I cry in his chest, my fingers digging in his jacket, but even his scent and warmth don’t offer me the usual calm.

I can’t stay calm.

Not when the life of the man I love is in danger because of me.

When we break apart, I’m greeted by Mom’s frowning face.

She looks anxious, stressed, and far from being the badass woman who’s not rattled by anything. In fact, her face is similar to the day they found me in that basement and she hugged me and cried.

I didn’t.

A teary-eyed Maya trudges close behind her, fingers interlinked and expression lost, as if she’s back to being a child.

“What are you doing here?” I scream at her. “I told you I don’t want to see her face, Mom!”

“Honey,” she speaks in a soft voice and strokes my arm. “She told me everything and I understand why you’re mad at her. I’m disappointed in her, too, but it’s best we talk about it.”

“I have nothing to say to a backstabbing, lying bitch. She ruined our family, Mom!”

“I didn’t mean to.” Maya takes my hands in hers. “Please, Mia. Please don’t stop talking to me. I’m ready to do anything…”

“Give me back my voice for the last eleven years of my life.”

She pales, her words coming out shaking. “You…know I can’t do that.”

“There you have it, then.” I slap her hands away.

Maya sinks her nails into my skin. “Mia, please. We’re not only twins, but we’re best friends. I can wait for you to forgive me as long as it takes, but please don’t throw me aside.”

“Best friends don’t do this to each other.” I unscrew her fingers. “I trusted you most in the world, Maya. I was stupid enough to think you were protecting me, but all this time, you’ve been stabbing me in the back.”

“Mia…” She tries to hold on to me again, but Mom pulls her back.

“That’s enough, Maya. You both need time off. You’re on a high of emotions and this clearly can’t be resolved right now.”

“But…” Maya protests. “I can’t lose Mia.”

I look the other way, refusing to give her the time of the day. I still can’t properly process what she did. All those years she offered me comfort and made sure I was never alone in the darkness wasn’t because she loved me. It was because she felt guilty.

The reason she stopped her jealousy fits after the kidnapping wasn’t because of a screwed-up sense of sisterhood, it was because of guilt.

The way she insisted I tell her first if I remembered anything wasn’t because she wanted to be there for me. It was because she needed to warn Mrs. Pratt or shut me up if I ever decided to come forward.

The reason she was so jealous and disapproving of Landon wasn’t because she wanted to protect me like Nikolai does, it was because she was worried I was slipping between her fingers and confiding in someone else other than her.

Everything was lie after damn lie.

I don’t even think I know her anymore.

But I can’t focus on that when someone a lot more important is fighting for his life on the other side of the wall.

I always thought Maya was the closest to me, but she didn’t care for me unconditionally, Landon did.

He’s the one who told me for the first time in my life that I should kill the monster in my life instead of dying trying. He’s the one who encouraged me to talk again, even unknowingly.

Maya starts crying and calling for me, but Dad physically removes her and says he’ll take her home.

I don’t care. I just need her out of my sight for the foreseeable future.

Hell. Maybe it would be a good idea to never see her again.

Mom rubs my arm. Her face is ashen, her eyes a bit molten, as if she finds it as hard to process the situation as I do. Good. That way she understands how disoriented I feel about the entire thing and won’t force me to ‘talk it out’ with Maya.

“I’m so sorry, honey.”

“Forget it, Mom. I don’t want you apologizing on her behalf.” I’m talking and signing at the same time, I realize. I did the same earlier as well. Subconsciously. Until Maya grabbed my hands.

“I’m not apologizing for Maya. I’m apologizing for disappointing you as a mother. I should’ve seen the signs of Mrs. Pratt's authoritarian nanny style. I should’ve paid more attention to Maya’s small bursts of jealousy and her overindulgence in asking for attention. I chalked it up to coming-of-age symptoms and I’m so, so sorry, Mia.”