Butterfly by Nelle L’Amour
CHAPTER 21
Roman
How long do fricking weddings take? I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been to one. Still sitting in the car, I grow antsier and antsier. The motor running so I can listen to the radio and keep the air-conditioning on, I keep my eye on the clock. The minutes pass like hot molasses. Slow and agonizing.
It happened a little over ten years ago. The event that changed my life. And what makes things worse, it happened just a few miles from here. Some memories never die. I’ve relived it so many times, each time as emotionally excruciating as the time before. Today is no exception. An unbearable wave of sadness and guilt passes over me. I should have never come here. Not in a million years. What the hell was I thinking?
Then, without warning, it plays. Stravinsky’s “Firebird.” Her symphonic spirit. The first few notes . . . and I lose it. I slam the radio off, but it’s too late. My chest clenching, I break into a sweat and feel myself suffocating. Sinking into an abyss. I’m having what my shrink calls an episode. A crippling anxiety attack. In the dark theater behind my eye patch, the horrific events of that day unfold like a horror movie. Breathe in, two three. Breathe out, two three. But it doesn’t help. The breaths come faster, turning into heaving pants, the ache in my chest so great I think I may be having a heart attack. I’ve got to get out of here! I don’t even care if I get into an accident. I deserve it.
One shaky hand on the steering wheel, the other on the shift, I’m about to back up the car when my phone pings. An email. In my dire, haywire state, I don’t know what makes me look at it. Jesus Christ. It’s from Blickdick. What the fuck? How the hell does he have my gmail address? With a quivering finger and baited breath, I open it.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Sofi
Having a blast! Sofi wanted you to see how hot she looks in her dress. It’s the bomb and so is she!
I can’t wait to dance with her in it!
Too bad you’re missing all the fun.
Later~Vincent
My throat constricting, I click on the attachment. My bad eye almost crashes through my patch. I want to vomit! It’s a photo of Blickdick with his arm around my butterfly in my spectacular gown.
Whatever fuckedupness I was wallowing in goes out the window and is replaced by a new surge of madness so consuming I let out a savage roar. So fierce and feral it’s deafening. Tossing the phone onto the passenger seat, I storm out of the car like a wild, caged animal.
Blickdick and Sofi are about to have company.