The SEAL’s Surprise Baby by Leslie North

4

“Is he sick?” Anderson asked when they were safely in the hotel room. They’d been on the road for five hours, and Nate had cried for the last one. Driving with a crying kid in the back seat should be some special endorsement on your license or used in training people to overcome distractions, because it had been hard as hell to keep his focus.

“I don’t think so. Babies are sensitive to changes in routine. Today’s been rough.” Violet had made a makeshift changing table on top of the desk in the room. She seemed to have quite the supply of stuff in that one bag. A padded mat, extra clothes, diapers, wipes… and she’d used them all in the past half hour.

“Never seen so much poop,” Anderson commented as Violet bagged another messy diaper in plastic. “You sure he’s okay?”

“Look, I’m not a pediatrician,” she snapped. “I do have five months of experience as a parent, though, and you’ve had one day. Just let me do my thing.”

Anderson held his hands up and backed off. That tone of voice was much more what he was used to from her. She didn’t like having her competence questioned. And, hell, in this case she definitely was the expert in the room. Anderson sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Nate, who was gurgling peacefully now, nothing like the screaming kid from the car or the pooping machine he’d been since they got in the room. Was that kind of rapid change common with kids?

Violet had one hand on Nate’s stomach while she dug deeper into the bag with her other one. Should he offer to help her? She seemed like she was managing, but he didn’t like to feel useless.

“Do you want me to find a store and get some… baby stuff?” he asked.

She huffed out a sigh. “I suppose.”

“Okay,” he said, pulling the notepad from his pocket and flipping to a blank page. “Tell me what to get.”

“A few packs of diapers, size two,” she said.

“They have sizes?” he asked. She answered with a glare. “Got it. What else?”

“Wipes. A couple of outfits. Get ones labeled either six months or six to nine months.”

He scribbled her request, not pointing out that the baby was five months old. There must be a mystery to this he didn’t understand, or else his kid was big for his age. Anderson liked that idea better. “Anything else?”

“No, that should get us by.” Her voice cracked, making him wonder how close she was to tears. She always seemed so able to handle anything, but apparently today had her on edge.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said and left the room.

A quick search on his phone directed Anderson to a nearby Target, where he made his way to the baby section. Diapers first. He sucked in a breath at the wall of choices. Was a size two the same in all the brands? He started reading labels. It seemed so, but what did he know? He selected a couple of different packages and got extra wipes as well before heading to the clothing section.

Buying baby clothes was not something Anderson had ever expected to do, but he sorted through a rack of tiny outfits until he found one in primary colors and another with sailboats on the front. That was a start. He’d have to get Nate a US Navy T-shirt. He’d seen those on the kids of his fellow SEALs.

Wait. What the hell was he thinking? It wasn’t like he planned to help raise the boy. Which was probably what Violet expected. He could guess her analysis had showed he’d be a poor father. She hadn’t admitted that to him in the car, but he could tell she doubted him.

He'd be angry about that if he didn’t feel so damn worried about their situation being complicated by having a baby with them. Kids made everything tougher. He’d seen that over and over with his SEAL teammates—including Patrick, who’d had to fight for custody of his daughter. Not a place Anderson had ever wanted to go. Life was easier if he only had to worry about himself—he’d been managing that since he was ten. That he could do successfully, but adding a baby and a woman to the mix blew his carefully planned life all to hell.

He gave himself a shake. He’d figure all that out later. First, he had to deal with the threat against Violet and Nate. He passed the food section his way to the checkout and detoured to pick up a couple of premade sandwiches and a few pieces of fruit. He looked at the cart, then grabbed a package of chocolate cookies for Violet and some protein bars for himself.

When he returned to the hotel, Nate was fussing again.

“Thank goodness,” Violet said in greeting. “More diapers.” As she brushed her hair back from her face, her gaze fell on the food. “Good call.”

“Do you want me to open any of this up?” he offered, happy that he’d pleased her.

“Later.” She boosted Nate onto her shoulder and paced with him around the small room. “Come on, little man, give Mama a break, okay?” Her voice was soft and soothing, and it seemed to be having an effect. Nate’s eyes started to close.

Not wanting to disturb either of them, Anderson slipped out to check the area around the hotel. He walked around the parking lot and a three-block radius, looking for black SUVs—though, of course, the assailants could have changed vehicles. Still, nothing he saw raised any red flags. As he headed back, he phoned Patrick for an update.

“I think you should call Rogers,” Patrick suggested. “He’s got civilian connections that we don’t.”

“Good idea,” Anderson said. He’d have thought of contacting Dan Rogers, a former SEAL who now owned a private security company, himself if the day hadn’t been such a shitshow. “I’ll do that. Thanks for your help.”

“No problem. Hey, Anderson, what’s your son’s name?”

“Nate.” He didn’t elaborate because he was still trying to process the fact that twenty-four hours ago he hadn’t even known of the baby’s existence.

“Take care of him,” Patrick said. “’Night.”

Anderson made his way back to the hotel room and paused outside the door to listen. Silence. He went in. Violet held her finger to her lips and pointed to the sleeping baby in the center of the bed.

“I’ve been waiting for you to come back,” she whispered. “Can you keep an eye on him while I take a bath?”

“Yeah, I guess. What do I do if he wakes up and cries?” Anderson shot the snoozing baby a look. He seemed to be out, but looks were deceiving when it came to kids. He’d learned that today.

“Hold him. I need twenty minutes to myself, okay?” She looked more tired than he’d ever seen her. “Can you give me that?”

He nodded and caught her arm when she went to turn away. “Did you call anyone while I was out?”

“No. I think it’s best not to. I need time and more information to analyze the threat. I’m not comfortable with turning this over to the agency.” Her voice sounded determined, but he caught an edge of fear. “We’re better off on our own for a while.”

“Suits me.” Anderson could have reached out to his commanding officer for assistance, but like her, he was reluctant to involve others until they had more facts. Rogers, whom he’d known for years and who was no longer part of the military hierarchy, was the one person he was confident he could trust. He took a minute to tell her about the former SEAL and his company.

“If you’re that confident of his integrity, he seems like our best bet,” she agreed. “His firm can gather intel for me to analyze.”

“And what am I supposed to do while you’re doing that?” Anderson asked.

“Same as always,” she said with a wan smile. “Keep us safe. Yell if you need me.”

She disappeared into the bathroom, and he heard water running in the tub a minute later. He turned the lights low and checked outside the window for any problems before pulling the drapes shut tight. There was nothing else he could do, so he sat and took out his notebook. He unwrapped the remaining sandwich—Violet must have eaten the other one while he was out—and quickly ate it while he began writing down everything from the day, along with pertinent information from their mission in Moscow.

He’d been at work for only a few minutes when Nate stirred, his little fists shooting into the air. A second later, he began to whimper. Anderson rushed over and found the boy’s eyes wide open and staring.

“I need you to sleep, buddy,” he murmured. “Your mom’s tired and needs a break. And I’ve got no idea what to do with you.” The whimper became a sob, and Nate’s face turned red and scrunched as if he was getting ready to really yell. “Come on. Don’t do that. Here, I’ll pick you up, okay?”

Anderson slipped his arms under the boy and brought him to his shoulder. He’d held him a couple of times during the day, but never when he was crying or couldn’t be readily handed back to Violet.

“How can someone so little make so much trouble?” Anderson muttered. His son’s weight felt like nothing in his arms, but he still worried that he wasn’t doing this right. He rubbed Nate’s back like he’d seen Violet do and put a little bounce in his step as he paced across the room.

“You like that. What else makes you happy?” Anderson looked down at the boy’s face. He was studying Anderson as if waiting for something. “You want me to talk?” He kept his tone gentle. “I can do that. I’m guessing you have no idea what I’m saying, so this conversation is totally off the record, right?”

Nate gurgled and stuck his thumb in his mouth. The kid was cute, but Jesus, Anderson wasn’t ready for this. He had too much baggage of his own. Since he didn’t know what to say, he spilled out what was on his mind.

“My daddy was a jerk, you know.” Anderson would have used a stronger word if he’d been talking to an adult. “The worst kind of man. Irresponsible, criminal, abusive when it suited him. I’ve spent my life trying to be different from him. You see, my dad had a kid he didn’t want. Me. My birth did nothing but cause problems for my parents. You’ve got it better than that. Your mama loves you, and you’re lucky there. You aren’t so lucky in a daddy, though. And I’ve gotta tell you that I didn’t ask for this—for you.” He paused, feeling guilty about his words, but that guilt wasn’t stronger than the fear inside him. “You seem nice when you aren’t screaming, but there’s no place in my life for a baby. I’m just not cut out for that kind of life. I’ve got friends, teammates, people I trust, but I never let anyone close. You know why?” The baby looked up at him with big eyes. “I’ll tell you. Here’s my fatherly advice, probably the only bit I’ll ever give you. If you let people close, they mess with you. Mess with your head, and you’ve got to dig your way out of that. Pull yourself up from nothing. It’s hard, but I did it.”

Anderson was silent for a minute until Nate stirred again, rubbing his head against Anderson’s shoulder. “Still want to talk? Let me make my point again. I was never meant to be a daddy. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. I can’t care for you. It would be… it would be too much. I hope you can understand that.”

He turned and almost collided with Violet. She was wrapped in a robe, and her eyes blazed. “How much did you hear?” he asked, not that he regretted his words. They were the truth. No one should trust him to raise a child, because he didn’t trust himself to do that.

“Enough.” She took Nate from him and cuddled him into her body. “I was wondering what would have happened today if my car hadn’t been riddled with bullets. I guess I have my answer.”

“Violet,” he started, but she waved him off.

“It’s fine. As I told you, I don’t need you—and neither does Nate. I can manage as a single parent. As a matter of fact, I don’t need you now. Just help me get to a safe house, and I’ll take it from there.” Her tone was brusque, businesslike.

“I’m going to see this mess through,” he said. He’d never wanted children or a relationship, but he’d make sure no harm came to Nate and Violet. Since he was already neck deep in this situation, he’d do his best to protect them. After it ended was a different story.

“Not necessary.” She eyed him over Nate’s head. “Now, I’m tired and I want to go to sleep. Nate and I will take the bed. I assume the floor works for you.”

He nodded, not knowing what else to say, since he wasn’t going to apologize for speaking the truth. Maybe it was just as well she’d overheard him. It got his position out in the open.