His Gymnast by Darcy Rose
7
Aria
There werea lot of ways things could’ve ended back there. I thought I was prepared for whatever happened.
I was so wrong. I’m sort of free, but I don’t know what I’m in the middle of now. It’s the whole reason I’d changed my mind about this arrangement in the first place. I don’t know what’s going to come next. I can’t believe he only wanted to help me back there. There must be something in this for him.
His house isn’t anywhere nearly as nice as I would’ve expected from his family. Everybody knows they have plenty of money, but this is a simple little place. “Come on.” He waves me on after opening the car door for me. When I don’t move fast enough, he takes me by the arm and ushers me along. He’s not very patient.
I wish he could understand what I’m going through. I can’t make my brain catch up to the present moment. All I see is the blood. I hear the screaming. I still feel the terror all through my body, freezing my muscles, making it tough to move my feet.
Yet somehow, I end up inside the house. Looking around, I notice it has basic furnishings—what I would expect from a bachelor who doesn’t really give a damn—a couch, a television, and all the stuff that comes with it. The kitchen is visible from here, and it’s simple but clean. At least he’s not a filthy person.
So, he doesn’t want me here as a housekeeper. It’s a ridiculous thought, and there’s no reason for me to laugh right now, but I can’t hold back a quiet giggle when I think about all the work I put into cleaning the house earlier. I guess the kitchen floor really will need to be mopped again. That makes me giggle again but in a scary sort of way. There’s nothing funny about this, so why am I laughing?
I think I’m losing my mind.
Knox touches my shoulder, and I flinch. The look in his eye is one I don’t like. He’s stormy—that’s the only word I can think of to describe it—like the sky before all hell’s about to break loose. The air feels the way it does before a storm, too. Unsettled. Electric.
He holds his hands up so I can see them. “You don’t have to be afraid of me. I’m not the bad guy here. In the grand scheme of things, I am the bad guy, but not with you. Never with you.”
“I believe you.” And I do. I don’t have to think about it. That doesn’t mean I’m comfortable, though. I’m anything but that right now.
Especially at the sight of the dried blood on his skin. How many times have I wanted to do to Dale everything Knox did—and worse? It’s not that I’m freaked out. It’s how easy it was for Knox to do it. How zoned out he was. How he even seemed to get pleasure from it. That’s what scares me most of all.
He might not want to hurt me, but that doesn’t mean he won’t if he loses control of himself like he did back at the house.
I look down at myself, realizing there’s blood all over me, too. It makes bile rise in my throat. I’m going to lose it. I know I’m going to lose it.
Which is when he steps in. “Come with me. You need to wash up and get those clothes off you.”
I follow without saying a word. Yes, I need a shower, desperately. I have to wash all that filth off me—everything to do with the house, with my life back there. All of it. I’m never going back there, and not only because I know Dale would kill me the second I step foot inside.
I won’t do it. I won’t put myself through that. I’ll do anything so long as nobody degrades me like that again. No more being embarrassed by my bruises. No more sneaking food or sleeping in a cold, dank basement.
The bathroom is bright, almost cheerful. Not what I would expect from a man living by himself. It’s enough to loosen the tightness in my chest and limbs. Knox turns on the shower—a big clawfoot tub—and steps back. “Here you go. Just leave your clothes on the floor, and I’ll throw them in the washer later. I’ll go make you something to eat.”
With that, he’s gone, and I’m glad to be alone for a minute. Now, I don’t have to pretend I feel better than I do. I don’t have him looking at me, wondering what I’m thinking or whether I’m about to lose my shit.
The water is warm enough to loosen me up, though the middle of my back is still sore thanks to the elbow Dale drove into it. I bet he’s regretting that now, and I hope he’s in just as much pain or more. I want him to know how it felt to be me.
I close my eyes, tilting my head back to let the water run over it. My scalp is tender. I know it will be for a day or two. It’s amazing I have any hair at all. I squeeze my eyes tighter as my chin quivers like I’m about to cry.
It’s not Dale I want to cry over. Not the bruises or the blood.
Why didn’t she care? Why didn’t she ever once try to protect me from him? I was her daughter before he was her husband. I’m supposed to be the person who matters most, aren’t I?
But sure, let Dale get what’s coming to him, and she suddenly decides to care. The way she screamed when Knox beat him. She begged him to stop. The woman could barely stand, but she sure as hell wanted to defend her man.
It shouldn’t hurt the way it does. I’ve known for a long time any love she ever felt for me died the minute I got hurt. Before then, I was an athlete headed for great things.
After? All she saw were the bills. I’m not kidding myself. I know it was a lot of money, and I know she had to sacrifice a lot because of my surgeries and therapy and all that.
That was when she started resenting me. I wasn’t her daughter anymore. I was a debt. Between that, the filth I’m sure Dale planted in her head about me, and the booze rotting her brain, I might as well be dead to her.
Now, the feeling’s mutual. It has to be. It’s not so easy for a kid to stop loving their parents, but I stopped loving her a long time ago. I know that now.
All that’s left is getting rid of the guilt. Even with the way she treated me, I can’t help but feel like a bad person. Only bad people don’t love their parents. A tear rolls down my cheek, washed away by the shower spray. She did this. Every time she let him hit me. When she agreed to have me sleep in the basement. When I needed to hand over every penny I earned. When she decided I wasn’t allowed to eat at home anymore.
She did this. It isn’t my fault I can’t love her and never want to see her again.
I tell myself to wash it all away, and I try my best. I really do. Something tells me it’s going to take a little time, though. I’d probably do well in therapy if I had the money for it.
By the time I’m finished washing, my fingertips are pruning. At least I know I’m clean. What’s even better, clean clothes are folded on the closed toilet lid waiting for me. When did he sneak them in here?
“Oh.” It’s all I whisper as I realize he left nothing but an oversized T-shirt. I left everything I was wearing in that pile, including my underwear. It’s gone. I’m supposed to walk around in nothing but a T-shirt? It falls below the middle of my thighs, but still.
I guess he didn’t think about it. At least I don’t have to walk around completely naked.
The aroma of food reaches me the second I open the door a crack. My stomach growls loud enough to startle me. He meant it when he said he’d make food. That’s another thing that relaxes me a little. He’s doing what he said he’d do, not waiting outside the bathroom door, poised to attack.
I walk down the stairs, arms folded over my stomach. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I lean over the railing to see into the kitchen. There he is, wearing fresh clothes, cooking up bacon like he didn’t almost beat a man to death earlier.
My instincts were right about him. I knew he’d be the right person for the job. I had no idea how right is all.
He glances toward me as I enter the kitchen, then does a double take. His jaw twitches and his nostrils flare, but he doesn’t say anything. “Thanks for this,” I offer, tugging at the hem of the shirt.
That gets me a nod. “BLT?”
“That sounds great.” I’d eat anything right now. The smell of the bacon has only kicked up my appetite. He’s already sliced tomatoes—their deep red color threatens to remind me of blood, but I can’t let myself go there—and there’s lettuce washed and ready, too. I don’t know why that touches me. I guess I didn’t expect him to be domestic.
I can’t help but smile when he loads both sandwiches with six slices of bacon apiece. Back in the day, I would never have considered eating that much at once. “Thank you. This looks amazing.” And it tastes even better. I can’t help but let out a little groan at the first bite.
“You look like you could use a few solid meals. No offense,” he adds when I glance at him in surprise. “I saw you eyeing my food when you served it at the restaurant. You looked hungry.”
“Did I do that?” I know I did, but I didn’t know I was so obvious about it.
“Don’t worry. I was watching you is all. I don’t think anybody else would’ve noticed.” I knew he was. I’m not sure I want to know why, though. So, I take another big bite of my sandwich since chewing at least gives me something to do.
This is surreal. Sitting in this kitchen, eating like nothing’s wrong. Like Knox didn’t pick me up and carry me out of hell a little while ago. I should be scared of him. Any sane person would be.
At most, I’m nervous. Anybody would be. But I’m not afraid. For some reason, I feel it in my bones that he won’t hurt me. Just like I knew in my bones he would be the right person to save me from Dale.
“Can I ask you something?” I nod, still chewing. “Why didn’t you ever tell anybody? I mean, didn’t you ever call the cops on him?”
I snicker, shaking my head. “His brother is the chief of police. That would be a real waste of time. I’ve always known it.”
There goes that stormy look again. I know why, too. It never hit me until now. Dale’s going to find a way to pay him back for this, and he’ll use his brother to do it. I don’t know how since it’s not like introductions were made, but he’ll make it happen. He’s just that evil.
And it’s not like anybody would believe Knox didn’t do it. Not with his history.
“I guess you think this was a big mistake, huh? I should’ve told you about it before. His brother, I mean.” The food’s not sitting so well anymore because I know what’s coming. He’s going to decide I’m not worth it. I’ll have to find someplace to live since I’m sure every minute we spend together makes things more dangerous for him.
“You weren’t thinking about that. I wish I had.” He runs a hand over his head. “Oh, well. It’s not anything I haven’t dealt with before.”
That’s it? I sit and wait, holding my breath before the other shoe drops. Before long, I’m not sure it’s going to. “You’re not kicking me out?”
His head snaps back like he’s surprised. “No. You thought I was going to?”
“I was afraid you would.”
“That’s not how I do things. I wouldn’t abandon you.”
“Thank you.” It doesn’t feel like enough, but it’s all I have to offer. My thanks. My relief.
“I’m going to have to ask you for something in return, you know.”
Yes, I know. I was expecting this. “Sure. I thought you would. Like I said, you can have every penny I earn, I swear. I’ll pay you back.”
“I don’t want your money.”
Crap. It wouldn’t have been easy to pay him, but I was willing to sacrifice. “What do you want then?” I ask, knowing the answer, dreading having to hear it come from his lips.
He finishes his sandwich and slides the plate aside. “It’s simple. You’re going to stay here with me and sleep in my bed every night.”
My heart skips a beat at his words. I can’t believe he says it like that. Like it’s so easy. Like it’s the most natural request in the world. It’s not even a request. He says it like it’s a done deal, and I don’t have any say in it.
I guess I don’t. It was bad enough when he freed me from my house. That was enough of a risk, even before he knew who Dale’s brother was. Now? I’m surprised he doesn’t ask me to suck him off here and now.
And the worst thing is, how could I say no? It’s only him and me. He could easily overpower me. Or he could tell me to get the hell out of his house.
I’m so tired of not having a choice.
