The Therapist by B.A. Paris
Twenty-Four
Stay!
The soft, sibilant whisper lulls me from my sleep. Instead of feeling afraid, the lingering echo of the word fills me with lightness.
‘Nina,’ I murmur.
The sense of her, strong, silent, acts like a balm to my troubled mind.
‘I’m not going to leave you,’ I promise her silently. ‘I’m going to get to the truth. If it wasn’t Oliver who killed you, I’ll find out who did.’
I expect her to leave. But she stays, and I drift easily back to sleep.
I wake late, luxuriating in the aura of peace cocooning my body. I search the reason for this unexpected feeling of wellbeing and remember how I sensed Nina’s presence in the night. I have no trouble believing her spirit was there, that – like my sister was – she’s trapped between this life and the next, waiting for justice to be done. I throw back the covers, driven by new purpose. I’m not going anywhere, I have a promise to fulfil.
My mobile beeps, a message from Leo.
You didn’t tell me if I should come home tonight. My heart sinks. I take a moment, then text him back I’m sorry, I need more time. I wait anxiously for his reply, feeling guilty that I don’t want him here. It comes – It’s fine, I understand. I’m here if you need me xx. Tears fill my eyes. We were good together, me and Leo.
I find myself thinking about Thomas. I’ve already worked out that he must be around forty-four years old and I’m still wondering about his relationship with Helen. I’ve noticed a tenderness in his eyes whenever he mentions her name and I can’t imagine what it must be like – whether she’s a friend or something more – to know that time is running out for her. Leo thinks it’s only because my sister was called Nina that I’ve taken Nina Maxwell’s murder to heart, but he’s wrong. If my husband or brother was wrongly accused of murder, I’d want the truth to come out. And from the relatively little time I’ve spent in The Circle, I’m convinced there’s a truth to be found.
I call Thomas.
‘I heard something,’ I say.
‘Oh?’
He listens while I repeat what Leo told me about Nina helping out people in The Circle, including the husbands of her close friends.
‘Thank you for being so open with me,’ he says when I get to the end.
‘The only reason I’m telling you is because something strange happened. When I was leaving Lorna’s house the other day, after I’d asked her about Nina, I could have sworn she whispered “Don’t trust anyone” in my ear.’
‘She’s probably right. The more I look into Nina’s murder, the more secrets I think there are.’
‘Yes, but that’s not the point. She told me her husband wasn’t there, so I thought it was strange that she felt the need to whisper. Then, not long afterwards, when I got home, I saw him coming out of the garage. So I think she might have lied. Although he could have been in the garden, because he had his gardening shoes on.’
‘How did Lorna seem when you spoke to her?’
‘Not frightened exactly, but definitely uneasy. Maybe she was worried that Edward – if he was there – might not be happy that she was talking to me. Unless there was someone else there, someone who didn’t like Lorna speaking to me.’ I pause. ‘I’m sorry, I need to go.’
‘Is everything alright?’
But I’ve already hung up, my heart plummeting at what I’ve just realised. Tamsin had turned up on my doorstep two minutes after I’d left Lorna’s that day and had warned me against asking her questions. I thought she’d seen me come out of the house and had guessed my motive for going there. But what if she’d been there all the time? She might have gone to see Lorna to warn her against speaking to me and I had chosen that very moment to call round. Had she been listening to our conversation from somewhere close by, is that why Lorna had been so nervous? It would explain how Tamsin knew what I’d been talking to Lorna about.
I sigh, uncomfortable with the position I’ve put myself in. Having a foot in each camp – wanting to help Helen get to the truth behind her sister-in-law’s murder, and wanting to make friends here – is becoming increasingly difficult.
Eve rings at the door.
‘Come in,’ I say, happy to see her. Then, over her shoulder, I see Tamsin walking quickly across the square, towards her house, and my bubble of happiness bursts. Maybe Eve’s visit isn’t as innocent as I thought.
‘How are you?’ she asks, following me to the kitchen.
‘I’m fine. What about you?’
She pulls out a chair and sits down. ‘All good. I was going to come and see you on Tuesday, towards the end of the morning, but I saw you leaving the house.’
‘Yes, I went out to lunch.’
She nods. ‘With a friend?’
I laugh. ‘Of course with a friend. Who else would I go to lunch with?’
She shifts in her chair. ‘I don’t know – the reporter maybe?’
I pull out the chair opposite her, playing for time. Did she see Thomas when he came by yesterday?
‘The reporter?’ I ask.
‘Yes, the woman who told you about Nina’s murder.’
‘Oh.’ There’s a hair on the table and I surreptitiously sweep it onto the floor, my brain screaming ignore! ignore! because the more I stress about it, the more hair I’ll lose, a wretched vicious circle. ‘No, I went to lunch with my friend Ginny.’
‘Has she been back in contact with you? The reporter?’ She catches my frown. ‘Sorry,’ she says, embarrassed. ‘Asking for a friend.’
‘If Tamsin isn’t careful, I might think she has something to hide,’ I say mildly.
‘It’s normal that she’s worried, Alice. We’ve only just begun to put the murder behind us and we don’t want it being dragged up again.’ When I don’t say anything, she sighs. ‘Look, after Nina was murdered and before Oliver was arrested,’ she says, choosing her words carefully, ‘when we’d only just found out that Nina had been having an affair, I think all her friends had a moment when they wondered if their husband could have been that person. It might only have been a moment, but it was there. And then, after we’d looked at our own husbands, we began looking at our friends’ husbands and wondering if it could have been one of them. It was horrible, Alice. We were all at it, secretly trying to work out if someone from the Circle had been having an affair with Nina.’
‘Why would you think that?’ I say, disingenuously.
She gives a little shrug. ‘Nina was very popular. She loved helping people and was very generous with her time. God knows how many hours she spent with Will, helping him rehearse his lines. She’d done some acting in the past, amateur dramatics, that kind of thing, and she was so happy when she discovered that Will was an actor. I’m not a jealous person and I never minded him going to see her, I was just glad that she could help him because, to be honest, I found listening to him repeating his lines a bit tedious. But, I admit, when I heard she’d been having an affair,there was that tiny moment of “Oh God”. And although we’ve never discussed it, I think Maria and Tamsin probably had the same thought about their husbands.’
‘Why?’
‘Because when Tim decided that he wanted to specialise further, Nina helped him look at various options, and it’s down to her that he chose psychotherapy. And Connor was always bringing his whiskies for Nina to try because she was about the only person in The Circle who really knew about whisky. Her parents owned a distillery before they retired and she used to joke that she was practically brought up on the stuff. She and Connor bonded over their Scottish roots, I guess.’ She leans forward and looks at me earnestly. ‘But what you have to understand is that nobody minded, not Oliver, nor any of us wives. We all loved Nina and we were glad that she had the time, with Oliver being away a lot, to help our men with their various projects. And it wasn’t just men; she ran a yoga class for expectant mothers one evening a week at her house, which she started when Tamsin was pregnant with Pearl. She also ran a book club once a month. People were always in and out of her house. Sometimes Will would be there and Connor would show up with one of his whiskies so she’d call me over and the four of us would sit and chat for a couple of hours.’
‘You never suspected that she might have been having an affair?’ I say, glad she has openly told me what Leo already had.
‘Never. That’s why it was such a shock.’
‘I can’t imagine what it must have been like, everyone suspecting everyone else.’
‘It was terrible, especially as our first thought was that the man, whoever he was, was also her murderer. It sounds awful, but it was a relief when Oliver was charged. A terrible shock – but also a relief. We knew who had killed her, we could get on with our lives. We had nothing more to fear. If Nina had been having an affair, it didn’t matter who the man was as he was no longer a suspect in her murder. It wasn’t important to know his name, especially as Nina was dead. What was important was knowing that the person responsible for her murder wasn’t going to come back and kill anyone else.’
‘You still believe that Oliver was responsible, then?’
‘Yes.’
‘Because it’s convenient to believe it.’ I make it a statement but I say it gently. ‘What if Nina’s murderer is still out there somewhere?’
Eve looks uncomfortable. ‘I don’t think he is.’ She takes out her phone and checks the screen. ‘Sorry, Alice, I’ve got to run,’ she says, standing up. ‘Hair appointment. See you tomorrow for coffee at Tamsin’s.’
Her relief at being able to get away is tangible. ‘Yes, see you there.’
I shut the door behind her, mulling over what she told me, more convinced than ever that Nina’s murder isn’t as straightforward as Eve would like me to believe. Somebody is hiding something.
But who?