With Love, Louisa by Ashtyn Newbold

Chapter 4

Perhaps she had been a bit too optimistic. Louisa’s stomach tied itself in knots as she looked out at the night sky from the tiny window inside the Lovell family’s cottage. She would have to go to her aunt’s house soon. Her back ached from sitting on the low, lumpy sofa, but her cheeks also ached from smiling. She did not wish to leave. Margaret’s family was delightful.

Seeing how little they had, Louisa and Matthew had refused the family’s attempt to offer them any of their meager dinner of boiled potatoes and stew. While Margaret played with her little brothers and Louisa distracted Mr. and Mrs. Lovell with conversation, Matthew had sneaked a generous amount of money under the towel that covered their bread basket. It was obvious why Margaret needed to find work in a household that would provide shelter and food for her, as well as wages to help her family. Louisa wanted to ask what had brought such poverty upon them, but she couldn’t do so in any manner that wouldn’t be deemed impertinent.

“It has been a pleasure to meet you all.” Matthew stood from his place on a wooden stool. He glanced at Mr. and Mrs. Lovell, then at their sons who sat on each side of Margaret. Two of the boys had straight blond hair like their sister, and the other had ginger curls and freckles. All three boys wore clothing slightly too small for them, the knees of their trousers torn. They gazed up at Margaret with wide smiles, and there was no questioning whether or not they had missed her.

Louisa would have gladly lived in a home as cramped and old as this one if it meant she could be as happy as Margaret appeared now. To be among family, to be loved, to know there was a place she belonged. Her heart ached as she reflected back on the life she had once lived as a child. She and Alice had known their mother loved them, though their father had never been as attentive and kind as Mr. Lovell was with his children. Louisa couldn’t recall being nearly so distraught over her father’s death as she had been over her mother’s years later. Being left with her stepfather as her guardian had been the day she realized those happy days of her childhood were gone.

That was when she and her sister Alice had first escaped to Larkhall. A temporary home. Louisa was still in search of where she belonged, but she feared she would never find it. She would always be trespassing on the hospitality of someone. Even marriage now seemed like an unlikely possibility. As a girl, she had dreamed of falling in love with a noble and kind gentleman, but what man would want to marry a woman with no connections, one who was passed from guardian to guardian with not a penny to offer?

As she watched Margaret, she considered the idea of seeking work as a governess. At least then she would not feel like a burden to anyone. Least of all her aunt—a woman she had never even met.

Her worry heightened as she stood from the sofa. What if her aunt did not like her? What if she regretted inviting her to live at Benham Abbey? What if she had only done so out of a feeling of obligation? Louisa recalled the description that flirtatious man in town—Jack Warwick—had given of Mrs. Irwin. What if she was as disagreeable as he had said she was?

Louisa nearly returned to the sofa, wishing she could sink into its lumpy cushions and disappear. No. She had to face the challenge before her. Oh, how Louisa envied tortoises. They could retreat into their shells and avoid the world anytime they wished to.

“It is late,” Louisa said in a quiet voice as Matthew approached her. “Will Mrs. Irwin be upset that I am arriving at this hour? What if she is asleep?” She fiddled with a loose string on her dress. She had worn such an old gown—it was nearly falling to shreds like the trousers Margaret’s brothers wore. Why had she not thought to make a better impression on her aunt by wearing a better dress? Hopefully Mrs. Irwin was already asleep.

Louisa touched a hand to her head, cringing. She had played blind man’s bluff with Margaret and her brothers outside that evening, as well as nine pins with a stack of wood and a rock. As a result, her hair arrangement had fallen excessively loose, strands spilling out all over her shoulders and forehead. She groaned inwardly, begging the heavens to let her aunt be asleep. That way the staff could let her in, and she could meet her aunt when she was presentable in the morning.

“Not to worry,” Matthew said in a reassuring voice. “I will walk to the door with you to ensure you are well-received.”

“Oh, no.” Louisa shook her head. “I must go alone. It is a short walk from here.” She did not have to explain why. Matthew often forgot his place. As much as he acted the part, he was not her real brother. Louisa could only imagine what her aunt might conclude from their relationship.

Matthew scowled. “You cannot walk there alone in the dark if that is what you mean.”

Louisa nearly huffed a frustrated breath, but she remained as stoic as she could. It was no wonder Bridget was often fit to be tied over her brother’s protectiveness.

“I couldn’t help but overhear your plight,” Mrs. Lovell craned her neck to see over Matthew’s shoulder. Her blue eyes sparkled. “My husband and I will accompany you if you wish. You must be quite tired from your travels, Mr. Northcott. And my boys have surely worn you out.” She laughed. “You should make your way straight to the inn so you can sleep. I believe the inn is a short distance from Miss Rosemeyer’s destination. We will walk with her from there. I cannot resist an evening walk in the summer rain.”

Was it raining? Louisa looked outside, relieved to see that it was just a light drizzle that pattered on the window.

“If you’re certain it’s not too great of an inconvenience,” Louisa said.

“We are certain.” Mr. Lovell smiled, rising to stand beside his wife, his movements slow and labored. He farmed for a nearby estate, his leathery, tan skin a testament to his hard work in the sun. He must have been even more tired than his movements showed.

After bidding farewell to Margaret and promising to come visit again soon, Louisa, Matthew, and Mr. and Mrs. Lovell started out the door. Once Matthew had stopped at the inn, the other three exited the carriage, each taking one of Louisa’s small trunks. She didn’t have many possessions to boast of, so it would be easy to carry them the rest of the way to Benham Abbey. If they could find it. The sky was awfully dark that evening.

Louisa hid her worry as best as she could, though Matthew likely sensed it.

“Don’t wait for us, Mr. Northcott,” Mrs. Lovell said. “We will walk home after accompanying Louisa to Benham Abbey.”

He hesitated before seeming to relent. Mrs. Lovell was capable, and she seemed intent to prove that through her actions. Louisa admired her already.

“If anything is amiss, inform me immediately,” Matthew said as Louisa began walking away with the Lovells.

She nodded, swallowing the nervousness that rose in her throat.

She took a deep breath. Nothing would be amiss. Yet she could not seem to shake Jack Warwick’s opinion from her mind. Do not listen to that cad, she said to herself.

“Cad?” Mrs. Lovell raised her eyebrows, pulling Louisa out of her thoughts. “Mr. Northcott did not strike me as a cad.”

Louisa shook her head fast, putting a hand to her forehead. Had she really said that aloud? She was more tired that she showed as well. “Oh, no, not Mr. Northcott. I was speaking my thoughts aloud concerning another man I met today.”

“I do not tolerate cads.” Mrs. Lovell raised her chin. “Who was this man?”

Perhaps calling him a cad had been a bit harsh. She bit her lip. All he had done was pay her a compliment or two. His gaze had not strayed anywhere it should not have, and his words hadn’t been anything scandalous. “Mr. Jack Warwick.”

Mr. Lovell let out a scoff, and Mrs. Lovell had a gasp to match it. “It is no wonder you found him so disagreeable,” she said. “He is always drunk as a wheelbarrow, going about causing mischief.”

“Mischief?” Louisa gulped.

“Gambling and the like,” Mr. Lovell said. “I’ve heard that he recently let a house in this area, moving away from his family’s estate for unknown reasons.”

That was what Margaret had told her. But she didn’t know it was this area he had moved to. Hopefully he didn’t live close enough to Benham Abbey to have another encounter with her.

Mrs. Irwin would be agreeable and kind. Agreeable and kind, she repeated in her mind as they walked along the path. The rain droplets grew in size, falling a little faster. Louisa’s already ruined hair became plastered to her forehead. She was afraid to ask the Lovells their opinion of her aunt, considering that they had such a strong opinion of Mr. Warwick. She would rather meet Mrs. Irwin and develop her own opinion for herself. Perhaps she would find much to like about the woman that others overlooked. The cheerful monologue in her head was interrupted by Mrs. Lovell’s voice.

“Oh, yes, you would do well to avoid Mr. Warwick.” She spread out her free arm, the one not holding Louisa’s trunk, catching raindrops on her sleeves.

“Indeed.” Mr. Lovell said. “I have given Margaret the same advice.”

“Oh, not to worry. That is my intention.” Louisa gave a polite smile, watching the ground as she walked to avoid slipping. The last thing she needed was a muddy dress to add to her disheveled appearance, but the hem of her gown was beyond help already.

As they walked over the crest of a hill, the house came into view. Symmetrical and square, the manor stood among two rows of trees, with a handsome garden on the front lawn. The windows were almost all dark. Surely her aunt was already asleep. Please let her be asleep.

“I must confess I was surprised to hear Mrs. Irwin offered to take you in,” Mrs. Lovell said. “I was also quite surprised to hear of your relation to her. I daresay the two of you could not be more different.”

She must have noticed the fear creeping into Louisa’s expression. Mrs. Lovell quickly added, “Perhaps it has simply been too long since I have seen her. She rarely ventures out.”

Louisa’s stomach pinched with dread.

Mrs. Lovell continued to try to dig herself out of her first statement. “But how could she not adore you? I am certain you will become dear friends in no time at all.”

They stopped walking when they reached the front steps of the house. “You are very kind. Thank you.” Louisa offered a smile before turning toward the door. She paused to listen, hoping to hear some sound from behind it. How improper was it to come knocking at this hour? In Mrs. Irwin’s letter, she had told Louisa to come as soon as she wished, and that her arrival would be eagerly anticipated. So what was she so worried about?

With a deep breath, she raised the knocker and struck it softly against the door three times.

Within seconds, the door was tugged open at the hands of a short, slouching woman, her wide-set eyes taking Louisa in with scrutiny. If not for her tell-tale cap and apron, Louisa might have thought she was Mrs. Irwin.

“Good evening. I am Miss Rosemeyer. I’m sincerely sorry to be arriving so lat—”

The woman’s croaky voice stopped her. “You have actually arrived much earlier than I expected.” Her eyes took in Louisa’s dirty, worn dress and disheveled hair. “The house has been so empty, you see, with Mrs. Irwin’s staff being so disloyal to this house.” The woman let out a huffed breath, shaking her head.

Disloyal staff?

“You must promise you will stay for a long while,” the woman said. “It has been difficult to find anyone to stay.”

Louisa gulped, gripping the handle of her valise a little tighter. “Yes. I plan to stay as long as I am welcome.”

The woman—Louisa assumed was the housekeeper—let out a quiet laugh. “Well, you will stay as long as you fulfill your responsibilities soundly.”

Responsibilities? Louisa frowned, but didn’t inquire, feeling suddenly intimidated by the woman and her intense gaze.

“Are these your parents?” The housekeeper asked, nodding toward Mr. and Mrs. Lovell. Louisa had nearly forgotten they were there. She was somewhat shocked at the housekeeper’s casual way of speaking to her, considering Louisa was her mistress’s guest.

“No, they are my friends.”

The housekeeper gave a jovial grin. “Well, I thank you for bringing her here. She is most desperately needed.”

Louisa’s composure was wearing thin. She took a deep breath to calm the turmoil in her stomach. What was she desperately needed for? Perhaps her aunt was so lonely that her housekeeper had grown concerned for her health?

Mr. and Mrs. Lovell appeared to be just as confused as Louisa, but they returned the housekeeper’s smile, setting Louisa’s trunks inside the door. “We will see you soon, Miss Rosemeyer.” Mrs. Lovell waved as they walked down the steps.

Louisa thanked them, walking inside the house with the housekeeper, whose name she had yet to catch. Since the woman hadn’t fetched Mrs. Irwin yet, Louisa could only assume her wishes had been granted. She had already gone to bed.

“I am very surprised you arrived so soon, though it is a pleasant surprise.” The woman seemed flustered, turning to a nearby footman and instructing him to pick up Louisa’s trunks and follow them. “I had a few rooms prepared in the hopes that they would soon be filled.”

“Multiple rooms?” Louisa’s brow furrowed.

“Of course. You can’t expect to be the only one coming. This is a large house, you know.”

Louisa’s head pounded. She had never been spoken to so frankly by a servant of any house. It was all so strange. She followed behind the housekeeper as they walked down a set of stairs in the dark. Louisa could barely see, but she walked faster, afraid the footman behind her would stumble in the darkness and crash into her. Where were they going? Had Mrs. Irwin really had a room prepared for her below stairs? Did she think so little of her?

“Here we have your room, Miss Rosemeyer.” The housekeeper gestured at the cramped space. A low-sitting bed was nestled into the far corner. As tired as Louisa was, even that bed looked comfortable. Her eyes already drooped as she looked at the thin quilt and flat pillow. She sniffed. Was that rodents she smelled?

The footman set Louisa’s trunks inside the room before leaving. The housekeeper held the only source of light in the room, a small candle. “Go to sleep promptly, and plan to arise at dawn.” She touched the tip of her candle to the one at Louisa’s bedside, bringing a small flicker of light to the room.

Louisa’s confusion doubled, and she turned to examined the space again. Realization sprung atop her shoulders, and her eyes widened. The housekeeper thought she was a maid. It was obvious now. With Louisa’s dreary clothing and hair, she hardly looked like a lady that day. She was timid like a maid too, submissive, allowing the housekeeper to give her orders. Louisa nearly explained the misunderstanding, but she paused.

What if that had been Mrs. Irwin’s plan? What if she had only invited Louisa there on the condition that she earn her place?

She swallowed, her breath catching. Well, if that was what she had to do, then she would do it. And if it really was just a misunderstanding, then she could sort it out when she met her aunt in the morning. Cold fear settled between her shoulder blades, but she didn’t let it show.

By the time Louisa sorted through her thoughts, the housekeeper was gone, the door closed firmly behind her.