Besotted by Rebecca Sharp
Eve
Ithought things would get easier after that night.
Aside from picking up a small cold from my night swim in the ocean, I’d also walked off the beach feeling like we’d reached some sort of tragic truce. Since neither of us was willing to bend, we’d retreated to the place we’d been at before our very first kiss—the place where we adeptly ignored the elephant of desire between us.
In essence, it changed nothing except for the fact that we agreed to believe it changed everything.
So, I saw him at Roasters every morning for the past week and sometimes in the afternoon. Our conversations were polite and so uneventful that even Laurel sent me a few curious stares. But other than here, I hadn’t run into him in the cove again. He’d been there though. Somewhere. I could hear Kona’s yapping as it blew around the water’s edge with the breeze. There, but out of sight—out of reach… But maybe tonight would be different.
Tingles crawled down my spine, just like they did every time he approached. It was Friday and Miles had stopped in a few minutes ago for an afternoon coffee. “How’s the apartment hunt going?”
I looked over my shoulder from where I was making a latte for Isla, the owner of the local flower shop, Fleurtations. The way the sun filtered in through the front window of Roasters picked up on all the blond highlights that streamed through Miles’ hair. He must be spending a lot of time outside or working a job outdoors because it seemed like I could catalog every strand that had lightened in the past two weeks.
His work-dusted hands cupped the iced Americano I’d made him a few minutes ago and he propped his hip against the counter, his Madison Construction tee pulling over his chest.
“Slowly but surely.” I hoped my half-smile made the words convincing as I forced my eyes back to the espresso machine.
I felt the heat settling between my thighs and I tried to focus on the steamer heating the milk for Isla’s drink.
“Mick said your sister wants us there in two weeks,” he said softly, and I cringed.
Too slowlywas really the answer, but I guessed I couldn’t hide how close I was cutting it when it was literally the man’s job to know when I needed to move out by.
I nodded like I was completely unfazed.
I’d spent the better part of my free time scrolling through listings on the internet and asking around town. It was just my luck that out of everyone I knew like family in this place, no one knew of anyone with an apartment to rent aside from the big complexes that I was unable—unwilling to afford.
That was the thing about discipline, if you know what you really want there’s nothing so tempting that can sway you from what needs to be done.
I wanted my own yoga studio, and no ocean view or stainless-steel appliances would lead me from it.
And I wanted a serious relationship, and no sun-drenched Aquaman with his drugging kisses and earth-shattering touches would tempt me away.
“I’m waiting to hear back from a few places that hopefully I can go check out this weekend or next week,” I assured both of us, stepping out from behind the counter to go deliver Isla’s coffee to where she sat, engrossed with the local paper at the corner.
“You’re welcome,” I murmured in reply to her thanks and turned back around, running right into Miles as he headed for the door.
“Oomph!” My hands shot up to his chest, like magnets to their matching pole. I swallowed a groan, knowing that my body should not be so comfortable, so readily and easily fit to his. “Sorry,” I squeaked, practically jumping back.
Great. Now he was probably wondering if I’d turned into a klutz in order to get close to him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a low voice, peeling his hand from my shoulders.
His gaze flicked out the window on the front door, and mine followed to where Kona stood on the sidewalk, eagerly greeting anyone who walked by.
“Can I say hi?” I blurted out.
Sometimes, Miles brought him inside Roasters, but it looked like Kona had gotten into some mud somewhere so today, he’d left him waiting outside.
As soon as Miles grunted his assent, I was out the door, desperate for some furry kisses and the comfort that puppy love so easily brought.
“Hey, boy. Hey, there.” I giggled as my face was assaulted by his wild tongue, his butt swinging side to side right along with his wagging tail. “Are you a crazy pup?”
I heard Miles snort. “Oh, he’s crazy alright. You see all that mud he’s covered in? Let’s just say all my climbing gear is similarly covered because someone likes to bury things.” His annoyance did nothing to hide how much he’d clearly fallen in love with the dog.
My stomach cinched.
Was I really jealous of a dog right now?
“Alright, I should get back,” I said, scratching behind Kona’s ears one more time as he tried to lick all over my face.
“Kona,” Miles growled from above us, trying to scold his dog. “You’re goin’ to lick her to death.”
There was always an awkward moment.Sometimes, it was when I first saw him. Sometimes, it was in the middle of a conversation. Or sometimes, like now, I’d think I escaped it completely for once, only for my mouth to betray me right at the very last second and remind me that I would never feel normal around Miles.
“I’ll be okay,” I replied with a laugh. “I survived you, didn’t I?”
If I couldn’t stop the words, I definitely couldn’t stop my loud gasp or the way my hand clapped over my mouth as I shot to my feet.
Had I really just said that? Out loud?
Oh my God.
Heat blazed in my cheeks, and I wished that I’d splurged for once in my life for the Transitions lenses so that when my shocked gaze met his, he wouldn’t have been able to see just how mortified I was. Of all the embarrassing things I’d ever said or done in the presence of this man, I somehow still managed to top the last. It was like a hidden, hideous talent.
“I can’t—I’m sorry.” I put my hands up in defeat. “I didn’t mean—You know what, I’m just going to go and pretend like that didn’t happen.”
Spinning on my heel, I practically sprinted the four feet to the door to Roasters, the bell inside dinging as though to say, ‘You’re done.’
My shoulders slumped in slight relief as I keyed in the code to the Blooms house—my house, if only for another two weeks. The last two hours of work had gone by with the miserable slowness that only comes when you’ve done something that you can’t believe you did and have nothing but time to dwell on it.
How could I have said that to him?
I groaned for the millionth time and yelled, “Hey, ladies! I’m here! Leaving in five!”
I still had to talk to my sister before we made our weekly trek out to the cove, but I didn’t want them to worry.
The thing that stuck with me the most though wasn’t what I’d said or the embarrassment I felt, although that was pretty substantial. What latched on to my mind and wouldn’t let go was the look on his face before I’d retreated back inside the safety of Roasters.
Of course, there’d been the element of surprise, but it paled in comparison to the lust I saw in his eyes—the same fire that burned through the dusky night sky as he looked up at me from between my legs.
I paused in the hall and leaned up against the wall, my heart clamoring toward the memory once again. My head tipped back, and I pulled my glasses off for just a second.
People with perfect vision would never know the beauty in being able to physically make the world around you disappear into a blur of colors and shapes, leaving your other senses heightened and your mind free to focus. They’d never know how easy it was to force yourself to live inside your head for just a few moments.
Instead of the hallway in the house that led back through the kitchen to my sister’s small office, I saw Miles from this afternoon. I saw the desire in his gaze as the clock wound back to the night on the beach. I remembered the way he’d asked me to trust him even when we both knew he was begging.
That night, I’d felt so many things I’d never experienced before—the feel of his mouth and tongue on my sex, the way he worshiped between my thighs like he wasn’t the one who’d relegated whatever we had to a single evening.
And I’d experienced the feeling of being connected to someone. Not just physically, but emotionally.
But instead of letting that bloom, Miles insisted it had to be stifled. And though I asked why he was resigned to this, it took everything in my pleasure-drunk vocal cords not to blurt out and ask for specifics.
What happened to you?
Who did this to you?
What hurt so badly that sentencing yourself to solitude was worth it?
The rising voices sprung my eyes back open and I worked the frames back onto my nose so everything was crystal clear again. No more blurred boundaries. No more fuzzy futures. No more distorted desire.
Continuing my trek through the kitchen, I slowed almost to a halt when I heard arguing—definitely arguing this time, but not between my siblings.
“It’s not a good idea, Addison, and there’s no other way around it,” a low voice growled. “You do what you want, but in my opinion, you’re bringing more danger to yourself than you are helping these girls.”
“But this interview could be huge for the number of donations we receive, Ace,” my sister pressed. “I’m dipping into my savings for these renovations to bring more girls in here. It’s only a local news channel. I doubt it will make it to San Francisco. I doubt it will make it to him.”
Ace Covington. I thought the voice sounded familiar.
I took a few steps closer as their voices fell even further. I wanted to know what was going on with my sister and wondered who the heck they were talking about.
“Addy, do I need to remind you what you told me when Zeke brought you to Covington that day? The people that fucker works for… the people he works with. If he realizes your loose end was never tied up…” I heard a string of curses float through the hall. “I think you’re risking a whole helluva lot… too much. I think you’re risking too much.”
“And what about what my girls have risked to come here? What about how they are risking everything to start a new life for themselves?”
I could just imagine how she was shaking her head, bright blue waves of hair swimming around her determined shoulders. I’d never seen my sister be weak. I’d never seen her back down from who she was or what she wanted… maybe that was where I got it from. I certainly couldn’t think of anyone I admired more.
“I won’t cower. Never again. And I won’t put my concerns before them, Ace. I’m sorry, but I won’t.”
“Yeah, well, in my opinion, there’s a difference between being strong and being stupid, and I think you’re tiptoeing that very fine line. Just think about what happens if you’re not here because of it?” My hand flew over my mouth to stifle my gasp. Was my sister really in that much danger? “If this comes back… if he comes back for you… then who’ll be here to take care of the girls?” There was a beat of silence. “Just think about it. Think about letting Zeke handle it.”
I barely had time to process when Ace stalked out of her office and almost plowed me over where I stood in the hall.
“Woah, Eve.” Large hands caught my shoulders as he halted with a thud. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry about that.” His eyes narrowed on me for a second, a silent interrogation to see if I’d been listening in on their conversation.
“It’s okay.” I gave him a weak smile.
His face tightened in frustration as he glanced back over his shoulder at my stubborn sister. “Talk some sense into her. Please.” And then he was gone, his footsteps thundering on the old wooden floor all the way to the front door.
Only when I heard it shut again did I cautiously enter the office, seeing Addy behind her desk with her arms crossed over her chest. Even though her eyes were looking straight at me, it took several long seconds before she actually saw me.
“Evie,” she said, startled. “I didn’t hear you come in.” Her concern was wiped from her face, replaced by a smile that was happy to see me.
For the first time, I caught a flicker of what Ace and my brother were fighting against, a woman who was determined to do good for others even at the expense of herself.
“Yeah, sorry… I guess you were talking with Ace.” Her eyebrows rose. “He ran into me on the way out.”
She waved me off. “Just talking about this interview I’m going to do.”
“Y-You’re sure that’s the right thing to do?” I blurted out. “For you, I mean. Not for them.”
Her smile was steady but her gaze became heavy. “They’re one and the same,” she replied calmly and evasively. “So, what’s going on? Did you find a place? Mick said they could start in two weeks. Summer is their busiest time so it was really the only time he could squeeze me in. I can have them start downstairs if you want… if you need more time.”
I held up my hands and shook my head. “No. That’s fine. I’m looking at a few places next week,” I assured her. “That’s not why I wanted to talk to you…”
I pulled out the small chair in front of her desk and dropped into it, pulling my braid over my shoulder and running my fingers over the ridges absentmindedly.
I’d thought a lot about Miles… about myself… over the last week, and realizing that my insistence on forever had come from my sister, I finally decided that maybe she had an answer for me.
“Is everything okay?” she immediately went into mom-mode.
Even though our grandparents had raised us, my grandmother and Addison seemed to have shared the role of mom in my life except for that brief period when she was in school and then lived in San Francisco with her ex.
“Addy, can you tell me what happened to you?” I whispered softly.
My sister’s eyes widened as she recoiled, firmly shaking her head. “It was a long time ago, Eve, and not something that you need to know—not something that you need to be burdened with.”
I wanted to argue with her, but my sister was as stubborn as they came—stubborn to a fault—especially when she felt like it was in order to protect someone she loved.
“Why are you asking? What’s going on?” She squinted at me even though she’d lucked out with perfect vision. “Has anyone said something to you? Have you been approached by anyone asking about me?”
I shook my head frantically, afraid she was about to call Ace back in here and demand a Covington Security detail on me.
“No. No nothing like that.” There was relief but also a new kind of concern etched on her expression.
She crossed her arms, her jacket slipping off her shoulder to reveal a small sliver of the tattoo that covered her back. She’d never shown me that either, but I’d caught a glimpse in the mirror once or twice. It looked like some sort of flower mural but it was hard to say.
My heavy sigh ended with a cough, and I made a mental note to take another antibiotic before I left for class.
Shifting in my seat, my confession spilled out, “When you came back from Frisco, I remember I asked you what happened. You were so sad and you just looked at me and said, ‘Eve, don’t give anyone any piece of you before you truly know them. Before you know that they are your prince and are going to treat you like a princess and nothing less. Promise you won’t give anyone the keys to your heart unless you’re sure they won’t come inside it and lock you out.’”
A strange look of horror crept on her face, like she didn’t even remember our conversation.
“And that was good. It was good advice,” I assured her. “It was easy advice to follow…”
“Oh, Evie.” Her shoulders sunk. “I never should’ve told you that—good or not—at that point in time. I wasn’t… okay… then. I was still recovering from my breakup.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I said that to you, and that it’s stayed with you all this time. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” That was the last thing I wanted. “It was good! I didn’t waste my time with boys who weren’t serious. I stayed focused on me, on school, on my dreams. I don’t regret any of my past choices for a second.”
“But you’re afraid of regretting a future one?”
I swallowed over the lump in my throat.
“I feel like I’ve met the person that my soul wants. And I’ve kept it to myself for a while because I thought it was a crush and that he wasn’t interested. And then when he was, but he said it would only be for one night…” Instantly, I saw Addy tense, her body going on the defensive. “But it’s not like all the other boys who wanted only a fling, whether they said it so bluntly or not,” I pressed on. “He’s not keeping me at a distance because he wants to hurt me; he’s keeping me there because he’s afraid I might hurt him if he lets me in.”
Miles’ decision about his love life was like a white lie—the kind that you tell someone to spare them from a truth that might hurt them. Wrong, but valiant.
“I guess what I’m here to ask is, do I stick to what I always thought I wanted, or do I compromise to show someone I would never hurt them like they’ve been hurt before? To show him what we have is worth the risk?” I paused for a breath and realized, as my last question escaped my lips, that I’d had my sister’s answer long before I’d entered the room tonight. “Do you risk yourself when becoming vulnerable is the only way to help someone heal?”
There was a slight pause, but Addy was a smart woman. She’d realized what I had, too.
“I think that if you overheard my conversation with Ace like I think you did, then you know what my answer to that already is,” she replied, tugging her jacket back over her shoulder. “And if you didn’t, then I’d tell you that there is no time frame on truly knowing someone. I was with someone for years and never quite felt like I really knew him—and I didn’t. But, then take Ace, for example; I wasn’t sitting in his office at Covington Security for five minutes when I knew the kind of man—good man—he was.”
I was surprised to see the faint tint of pink in her cheeks as she quickly moved on from the subject of Ace. “I can’t tell you what you should do, Evie, but you’re a smart girl and a great judge of character. And if your heart tells you, like mine does, that what you’ll gain from the risk is worth far more than what you could lose, then I’d say to listen to it.”
She stood and rounded the desk, pulling me in for a tight hug. “It’s your life. You’re allowed to change your mind about what you want from it. You’re allowed to let your experiences change your plans.”
“Thank you,” I murmured into her thick blue hair. I knew that was the truth, but, for some reason, I’d needed to hear it from her.
I’d been fighting with myself over this whole one-night thing like it was some sort of commandment I’d written in stone, when in reality, it was just another goal. One that had suited a younger me but now, how I felt about it didn’t begin to compare to how I felt about Miles.
“But please don’t tell our brother even though he’d, in theory, agree with me. The thought of you having sex before marriage or before you’re thirty isn’t something that he’s ready for.” We both broke into laughter.
Zeke was protective and by-the-books kind of guy. Love life decisions, especially considering that neither of us had made much of any for him to deal with, were the thing of thing he felt, as the oldest and head of the Williams family, he needed to watch out for us on. Especially after what happened to Addy. Whatever it was had changed something in him, too.
“Love you,” I murmured. “And you could tell me you know. I can handle it.”
I was both grateful and angry at the two of them for keeping me in the dark about my sister’s past relationship.
“I know, Evie, and I love you, too. And that’s why you shouldn’t have to.”
I left Blooms with my yoga group, more worried about my sister, but less burdened by how I felt about Miles.
I’d been clinging onto this idea of a prince and a fairy tale for so long, but the truth was that even Cinderella had risked it all for only one night—one night to show the man she was besotted with that their forever was worth any obstacle.