Breaking Free by Isabel Lucero

19

I don’t talkto Trevor the rest of the week. He does his best to ignore me, but I think Jay’s starting to become suspicious, because he tries talking to us both, but the tension is obvious. He asked if we got into a fight, but I shrugged and told him I didn’t know him well enough to fight with him.

He guessed it might have to do with who will be starting, and I let him believe that. And on Thursday, Coach informed me I’d be starting with Deshawn. Usually, only one running back is in during a play, but sometimes there’s two. He may switch us out, but unless one of us gets hurt, Trevor likely won’t play in our first game.

On Friday evening, before we hit the field for the game, Jay runs up to me. “Hey, Matthew is in the stands tonight. Who knows where, but he said he was coming. Guess he wants to try out those positions.” He laughs, hitting my arm before he puts his helmet on.

“Good. Hopefully I have something to celebrate.”

“For real,” Jay says before running ahead.

A few seconds later, Trevor passes me up, meaning he was probably within earshot the whole time.

“Campbell,” I call out.

He keeps walking, and I don’t have it in me to fight with him, so I let him go.

* * *

I ranmy ass off in the game, rushing for one-hundred and fifteen yards, and scoring one touchdown. Deshawn had another TD, and Jayden caught a beautiful pass from Dex in the endzone for the game winner.

The locker room is loud with excited football players, planning on where we’re gonna celebrate tonight.

There’s two separate sets of plans, some guys choosing to go to a club, while the others are going to Jay’s frat house for a party.

Once showered and dressed, I make my way outside and find Matthew standing with a couple other people. He smiles when he sees me, and I return it.

“Congratulations,” he says with a bashful smile.

“Thanks. Did you enjoy the game?”

“It wasn’t too bad. I had to ask a lot of questions, but I know you won and that you scored a touchdown.”

I smile. “Well, good job.”

“We’re gonna go,” one of his friends says with a grin.

I smile at them while Matthew says goodbye. “So, what do you wanna do?” he asks shyly.

“Well, half the team is celebrating at a frat house, and the other half at a club. I figure I should stop by at least one of them, and then we can run off and do...whatever we want.”

“Well, I guess you should know I’m only twenty.”

“So, frat house it is,” I say, draping my arm over his shoulder and walking to my car.

* * *

Matthewand I actually stopped for some food before heading to the frat house, so once we arrive, the party is in full effect. We start in the kitchen, taking a shot, and then filling our cups with beer before we go and find Jay and Deshawn playing beer pong against Shea and some girl.

After a couple drinks and a game of beer pong, where me and Matthew lose terribly to Dex and Tim, we move over to a pool table where I find Dex’s girlfriend, Violet, playing a game against some guy I don’t know.

Matthew has his arm around my waist and his head on my shoulder when I recognize Trevor’s friend from the burger place walk up. I think his name’s Renzo.

“If you’re thinking about playing winner, it’s gonna be my sister, and she’s gonna take all your money.”

I laugh. “I’m good, man. This isn’t my kind of game.”

“Need the balls to be bigger?” he asks with a chuckle.

“Definitely.”

“I’m gonna use the bathroom,” Matthew whispers into my ear.

“Okay. We can leave soon, if you want.”

He bites his lip and nods, a grin growing.

I turn back and watch Violet sink the eight ball before taking a bow.

“Told you,” he says.

Violet smacks him in the arm before collecting money from the guy she just beat.

“So, Trevor’s been over there in the corner, sending daggers your way.”

I turn around and catch him looking at me from about twenty feet away. He attempts to shift his focus somewhere else, but it was too late.

“Your friend is very confused,” I tell him.

“He isn’t that confused, he’s just afraid.”

“Yeah, well, he says he’s done with me. Hasn’t talked to me in a week, and when we do talk, it’s mostly just arguing.”

“Minus the night at his house,” he says, arching his brow with a knowing smirk.

“So he talks about me?”

“Me and Ronan are the only ones he can talk to, and I don’t leave him many options. I don’t think he needs to keep everything to himself.”

“Yeah, well, the Monday after that night, he said he didn’t want anything else to happen. He says I’m a distraction, and I’m done trying to figure out his moods.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think he likes you.”

I glance back at Trevor and see him talking to some couple. His eyes slide in my direction before he shifts and gives me more of his back.

“It’s not worth much if he’s too afraid to tell me he’s into me. I’m not asking him to come out, but he doesn’t even like to admit anything to me, and he’s had my dick in his mouth.”

His eyebrows shoot up before he grins. “No offense, but you’re new. He hasn’t told Jay, and he’s known him longer. He hasn’t told his parents or his other friends. It’s not about you, I don’t think.”

I shake my head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I know I’m nobody to him, but he knows I know. We’ve done things to each other, and I haven’t said a word to anyone. If when we’re alone, he can’t say he’s into me or mutter anything even slightly positive, then what’s the point? He was a fun distraction at first, but I don’t need the drama.”

Before he can say anything, his boyfriend shows up at the same time Matthew comes back, finding us leaning against the wall.

“You ready?” I ask Matthew. He smiles and nods. I look back at Renzo and his boyfriend. “Guess I’ll see you around.”

Renzo lifts his head, but doesn’t say anything.

I’ve only walked a couple feet before Dex pops up in front of me. “Hell of a game, right?” he asks with a grin.

“Yeah, man. Let’s hope we can keep it up.”

“I hope so. Anyway, I’m having a party at my place tomorrow. Do you work?”

“Yeah, I go in at six.”

“Oh, good. It’s gonna be a pool party, so it’ll start early. You can come over around two and hang out for a little while before you have to leave.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’ll text you the address later. See ya.”

Before we can leave the house, one of Matthew’s friends runs up, completely trashed, and pulls him into a hug.

“Oh my God, Matt! I didn’t expect to see you here. I need Trinity to see you. Come on.”

Matthew rolls his eyes and mouths a sorry to me before getting dragged off. I head back into the kitchen where Jay hands me a shot glass and demands I drink it in order to celebrate our win properly.

“Where’s your boy?” he asks, looking around.

“Who?”

“You got more than one?” he asks, an eyebrow raised. “Not that I’m judging. The more the merrier, I think.”

I laugh. “Oh, you mean Matthew?”

He nods, a smile on his face. “Yeah, Matthew.”

“One of his friends found him and stole him away somewhere. I don’t know.”

“You talk to Trev?” he asks, switching directions.

“Uh, no.”

“Well, he’s mad about not being able to play in our opener, but he still has reason to celebrate. He’s too busy sulking in corners and becoming a sad drunk rather than being happy our team won.”

I shrug. “Yeah, well, I don’t know.”

Jayden starts setting up a game on one of the tables, and I have no idea what it’s called or how it’ll be played, but based on the different types of liquor he’s pouring into shot glasses, I know it’s gonna get people fucked up.

“Oh shit, can you go to my room and grab my phone? Someone’s gonna be texting me soon.”

“Yeah, which one?”

“Up the stairs, far room on the left. There’s a J on the door.”

“Cool.”

I jog up the steps and find his door easily, but once in his room I have no idea where to look for the phone. It’s not on the dresser or TV stand. I search the bed and end up finding it under a South River fleece blanket.

When I turn around, I find Trevor stepping into the doorway.

My plan is just to move past him, but he stops me with a hand on my arm. My eyes dance from where he’s touching me to his eyes before he lets go.

“Can we talk?”

“I have to get this phone to Jay.”

A guy walks by the door and Trevor snatches the phone from my hand. “Hey, Lucas. Give this to Jay?”

He tosses it and Lucas catches it easily. “Sure.”

“Now?” he questions.

I sigh and step back into the room. As I’m plopping onto the corner of the mattress, Trevor closes and locks the door.

I think to make a suggestive joke, but I bite it back. “What’s up, Campbell?” I ask with a sigh.

He rubs his hands together in front him, clearly nervous, and for whatever reason, I find it endearing.

“I know I’ve been kind of a dick lately.”

“Mmhmm,” I murmur.

He pins his eyes on me for a second before taking a step closer. “I didn’t mean to claim you’re only here and starting because your parents know the coach. I know you’re good. I was just annoyed at myself. At everything. I don’t know.”

I open my mouth to reply, but he keeps going, and considering this seems like a rare vulnerable moment for him, I’m not about to interrupt.

“I talked to Renzo a little bit earlier.”

“Is that why you’re talking to me?”

So much for not interrupting.

He shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets. “Sort of. I didn’t want to…” he sighs, meeting my gaze for a fraction of a second before looking away. “I just didn’t want…” He stops again, running a hand through his hair before staring at me. “This is hard for me, okay?”

I pull in my bottom lip, chewing on it for a second before I nod. “Okay.”

“I like you...I guess.” He chances a glance at me and finds me fighting off a grin. “Mostly,” he amends, pressing his lips together in a line. “I don’t want you to leave with that guy. It’s been killing me watching you with him. I don’t want to delve too deep into why that is, besides the fact that I guess I like you, and I don’t really want what we’ve started to come to an end yet.”

“You told me that it couldn’t happen again.”

He perches his ass on a small desk to my left. “Yeah, well, I’m stupid. I thought by saying that I’d make the situation easier for myself, but I’m still thinking about you...and things. Maybe you were right. Maybe if I came out and told people, I’d feel less tension and frustration. But I don’t have the same confidence you do. Or Jay does, for that matter. Y’all don’t care what people think or say, and I do. I don’t know why, but I do. I was supposed to tell my parents and chickened out.” He takes a breath. “Regardless of all that, I just wanted to tell you that I want—”

“Me,” I say, standing up. “You want me.”

He watches me approach him and doesn’t look away. “Yeah. I want you.”

“In secret.”

“For now.”

“Okay,” I say, coming to a stop between his sprawled legs. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Uh. What do you mean?” he asks.

“You want me, so what’re you gonna do about that?”

“Oh.” He bites his lip, looking down before I nudge his chin up with my finger. “I’m not used to...you know.”

“Initiating sex.”

“Right. Well, I’ve done it before, with girls, but…”

He rubs his thumb over a small patch on his jeans, becoming flustered and nervous as I reach out and grab his hips.

“I think, then, that we’re perfect together. I like being in charge and in control, and you comply so easily.” I caress his cheek with my knuckles as he looks into my eyes. “You like it, too, don’t you?”

His teeth scrape his bottom lip before he nods. “Yeah. It takes the worry out of the situation. Like you said, I’m in my head too much. With you, I feel free.”

My heart flutters at his words. It’s one thing to turn someone on, but to bring them a sense of freedom is something I’ve never experienced before.

I run my fingers through his hair, not taking my eyes off of him. “Don’t check out this time. Not ever again. You’re free while we’re doing sexual things, but as soon as we’re done, you climb back into your mind and put up a wall. Let me in, Campbell.”

He nods and noise outside brings us out of our own little bubble.

“So, what now?” he asks.

“I guess I need to ditch my date,” I tell him with a crooked grin.

“Ugh. How are you into that guy?”

I playfully smack him in the stomach with the back of my hand. “Sounds like someone’s jealous.”

He purses his lips. “He’s not that cute.”

“Doesn’t hold a candle to you, Campbell. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

“My place?” he asks.

“Better than mine,” I tell him. “I’ll leave first and say bye to people, then you come out and I’ll meet you at the end of the street.”

“Okay.”