Breaking Free by Isabel Lucero

25

When I wake up,Dominic is knocked out next to me, one arm draped over his head as he lies on his back, and the other hand on my thigh. I grin before I slip away, treading lightly to the bathroom, hoping not to wake him.

After I shower and brush my teeth, I open the door and find him sitting up in bed.

“You should’ve woke me up,” he says with a scratchy voice. “We could’ve saved water and showered together.” His eyes dance over my naked torso, eyeing the towel around my waist.

“Next time.”

A brow arches as he stands up, scratching his head. “I think I like the sound of next time.” He walks in my direction, groping me through the soft cotton that covers my cock when he stops in front of me. I let out a small moan. “I like the sound of that, too.”

“It’s not nice to tease.”

“Who says?”

I bite my lip, grinning. “Everyone.”

“I promise to reward you later,” he says, coming in close and nipping at my neck—at the small pink spot he left on me last night. “Since you’re such a good boy and all.”

I groan. “Fuck. Stop, I’m getting hard already.”

He chuckles, smacking my ass before he heads to the bathroom. “Care if I use it?”

“Go ahead.”

While he’s in there, I get dressed and make my way to the kitchen, pulling some eggs and bacon out. It might be noon, but there’s never a bad time for breakfast.

Once everything is nearly done, Dominic struts out wearing the same clothes from yesterday, but smelling exactly like my soap and shampoo.

“I didn’t use your toothbrush, but I definitely used your floss and mouthwash.”

I chuckle. “Okay.”

“Breakfast?” he muses, coming behind me as I stand near the stove, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“Nothing fancy, but food nonetheless.”

“I’ll take it,” he says, grabbing my hips.

His phone rings before I can respond. He steps into the living room as I place the food on the plates.

“Hey. Yeah, I stayed at a friend’s house. No. Yeah, I’m fine. You okay? All right. Yeah, I’ll be there in a couple hours. Okay. Love you.”

After ending the call, he slips the phone back in his pocket and heads toward me. “Sorry. My mom.”

“It’s cool.”

I break off a piece of my toast and pick up a clump of eggs before tossing it in my mouth. He digs in, and while we’re silently eating, all I can think about is him saying he stayed at a friend’s house. Not that that’s not true, though we’re slightly more than friends, right? I can’t blame him. We’re having fun—secret fun at that, and nobody knows about me, let alone us. If there is an us.

I shake my head as I take another bite.

“You’re in your head again,” he says from the other side of the table.

“It’s nothing.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Campbell.”

I already miss the sound of my first name from his lips. Maybe the fact that he only calls me by my last name is a reflection of how casual this thing is. Last night he said he liked me, but you like your friends, too.

Annoyed with myself, I pull myself out of those thoughts, knowing he’ll never think of us as anything serious as long as I’m in the closet and lying to everyone. That’s on me, not him.

The doorbell rings incessantly, jolting both of us upright. My eyes widen as my heart beats so hard in my chest it nearly hurts.

Standing up, I creep over to the window and glance to the driveway and see Jayden’s car pulled up behind Dominic’s.

“Well, shit,” I say.

“Who is it?”

“Jay.”

He watches me closely, waiting for me to panic. “We can say I just stopped by for something. No big deal. Maybe I needed notes from chemistry class or something.”

The bell continues to ring, so I take a breath and walk to the door, pulling it open.

Jay looks confused and somewhat surprised that I even answered. “Hey,” he says, dragging the word out slightly. “Umm...is that Dom’s car?” he asks, jerking his thumb to what we both know is Dom’s car.

“Yeah.”

He peeks over my shoulder but can’t see where Dominic sits. “Okay.” Again, the word drags out, his eyes studying me and waiting for more.

“Wanna come in?”

I hear Dom’s chair slide across the floor and the clattering of dishes like he’s hiding evidence of our breakfast together.

“Sure,” Jay replies, his eyes landing on my neck.

I back up, allowing him inside before closing the door. My heart is still rapidly beating in my chest, ready to explode. I hope I’m playing it as cool as I think I am.

Dominic’s standing in the kitchen, leaning over the island with his phone in his hand. “Hey, man,” he greets.

Jay lifts his chin. “Hey. What’s goin’ on?”

“Not much,” Dom says casually. “Just needed some papers from Campbell.”

Jay’s eyes bounce between us, his eyes once again focusing on the slight hickey on my neck. It’s uncomfortably quiet as we all stare at each other.

With a short chuckle, Jay says, “What...is happening?”

I sigh. “Umm.” With a quick look at Dominic, I convey as well as I can that I’m about to tell him. Dom dips his head slightly in an acknowledging nod. “Me and Dominic are...kinda messing around.”

Dom’s lips turn up on one side, amused with how I worded it.

Jay laughs. “I’m sorry, what?” He looks to Dominic for confirmation, but all he does is shrug. “You’re kinda messing around? First of all, since when do you like men, and since when with y’all two, because I thought for a minute that y’all were far from friends.”

Dominic is no help as he just looks at me, waiting to hear my response, his eyes bright with interest and mirth.

“I’ve been into guys for a while. I always wondered why I never felt a connection with girls, and while I had a few thoughts here and there, like thinking a guy was attractive, I didn’t think it meant anything. I mean, I didn’t know for sure until I had this moment with Renzo, and then I decided to pretend that didn’t happen and made out with a bunch of girls to convince myself I was straight. When that did nothing for me, I had another, very brief kiss with Zo again, and knew without a doubt that it was men that I was into. When we went to Grand Valley, I uhh...ran into Dominic and we had a moment. Didn’t know he’d show up here, so there’s that. And yeah, we just kind of re-started things, I guess you could say?” I look to Dom, waiting for him to say something, but he just nods with a smirk on his face.

“I need to sit,” Jay says, falling into one of the dining room chairs. “Renzo? Our Renzo? The one with Ronan?”

“It happened before Ronan.”

“But that means he knows. Do they both know?”

I nod, putting my hands in my pockets. “Yeah.”

“And y’all fuckers kept it from me? Why?”

I sigh. “I don’t know, man. Nobody else knows. I don’t know how to tell people, and my parents don’t even know. It was nothing against you. Renzo only knew because it was him who I, you know, did stuff with. Of course he told his boyfriend.”

“Jesus Christ, man,” he says. “I...well, I’m shocked, but probably more so that you’re with this guy,” he says with a good-natured grin, glancing at Dominic.

“Yeah, well, he’s pretty persistent.”

“He likes it, though,” Dom says, finally speaking up.

Jay laughs again, his hands going to his face. “I can’t deal with y’all. This shit’s crazy. So, what is this? Just casual hooking up? Experimenting on your part?” he questions, looking at me.

Me and Dom turn to each other, neither one of us answering. I finally say, “I don’t know.”

Jay chuckles again, shaking his head. “Well, I’m happy for you. I’m glad you’re taking steps to be your authentic self.”

“A few more steps to go, I guess.”

“You’ll get there,” he says. “Now, let’s talk about our game at Glen Prep, and then plan your birthday party.”

I grin, happy that my coming out moment to Jay wasn’t nearly as traumatic as I imagined it would be. But if I’m being honest, I never thought he’d react negatively. It’s other people I’m more concerned with.

* * *

As I sitin the driveway of my parents’ house, I think about all the ways this can go wrong. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming to talk to them, just in case I chicken out. Once Jayden left, Dominic only hung around for a few more minutes before he left for his house, and I decided to drive out here and get it over with.

But now my fear is getting the better of me. My parents and I have a decent relationship. We don’t talk every single day, but I usually check in every week or so. We live half an hour away from each other, so it’s not too far, and I definitely visit for major holidays. They’ve been to a handful of my games, but they aren’t too big on football.

I try to flip through a rolodex of memories, attempting to remember if I ever heard either one of them voice an opinion on gay people, gay marriage, or anything like that, and nothing comes to mind. But just because people don’t vocalize their hatred for a particular group of people doesn’t mean they don’t hold those feelings deep inside. I could unlock it right now, and that worries me. I love my parents, and they’ve always supported me, but would this be the one thing they couldn’t get on board with?

My time in my head comes to an end when my mom pulls open the front door, squinting out at the driveway with her hand over her eyes.

“Trevor? What’re you doing out there?”

I take a deep breath and blow it out before stepping outside. “Hey, Mom.”

She gathers me in her arms when I get to the porch before holding me at arm's length, looking me over. “What’s wrong? You okay?”

I give her a crooked grin. “I’m fine. I can’t come visit?”

“Well, you usually call first.”

“Is Dad here?”

She opens the screen door and steps inside. “He’s down in the basement.”

“New project?”

“He’s making a little coffee table for me, but with a little cubby in the center, so the top kind of slides out. It’ll be cute.”

Dad’s never been able to say no to Mom and the little things she wants built, but he also enjoys the time down there. He says it’s a destresser from his job, so I guess it works out well for both of them.

“You want something to drink, baby?” Mom asks.

“I’m okay. Thanks.”

“You still coming down for Thanksgiving?”

“Of course,” I reply with a smile. “Think I’m missing out on your food? No, ma’am. I’ll be here.”

She grins, shaking her head at me. My smile drops when it hits me. Maybe I’ll be here. Depends on how they take this news.

“How’s school?”

“It’s pretty good. Not failing yet.”

With a laugh, she says, “Well, that’s good. And football?”

“It’s good. I guess. I don’t know. I had some rough practices and Coach is making me work for my spot, but you know.” I shrug. “I’ll be fine.”

She walks to the doorway that leads to the basement. “Marshall, Trevor’s here,” she yells down.

I move some pillows out of the way and sit on the gray couch, watching her take a seat on the one opposite me. She watches me with a curious gaze, like she knows something’s up. I look away, acting like I’m taking in the room.

“You redecorated.”

“A little. You know me and your dad work a lot, so any projects we try to do usually take quite a while. We just finished painting last week, and got some new furniture pieces.”

Silence settles over us again as my eyes move between all the photos on the walls and shelves.

“Trevor,” she says softly, waiting for me to look at her. I turn my head slowly, my eyes lifting to meet hers. She cocks her head, her brows dipping in the middle. “What—”

“Hey! Look who’s here,” Dad says, emerging from the basement.

I stand up and give him a hug. “Hey, Dad.”

“How are you?” he asks, moving to sit next to Mom.

“I’m good. Mom said you’re working on a new project,” I say, quickly shifting the focus on him.

“Oh yeah, a new table. I’m about halfway done.”

I nod, wondering how to segue into I’m gay.

I don’t miss when Mom places a hand on Dad’s knee, both of them watching me. I sit up and rub my sweaty palms on my jeans. “Um, I wanted to come by and see you guys, you know? And maybe just, I don’t know. Talk.”

“Okay, well, you know we—” Dad starts.

“Marshall, wait,” Mom says, cutting him off.

I study both their faces for several seconds, and emotion burns at the backs of my eyes as I wonder if this will be the last time I see them happy. Will they kick me out of my house since they own it? Will I lose my parents and a place to live at once? I want to say I know that’s not the case, but you can never be too sure.

I lick my lips and take a deep breath. “Um. I—I like. I’m...gay.” I let it settle for just a second before I force myself to stare into their eyes. “I’m gay.”

They don’t say anything right away, but Mom’s lips press into a line as her eyes water. “Oh, honey.”

The nerves are tied up into a knot in my stomach, and my heart pounds heavily in my chest. I feel like I’m gonna throw up and have a heart attack at once.

Mom rushes over first, sitting next to me and taking my clammy hand in hers. She looks in my eyes and brushes a fallen lock of hair off my forehead. “I’m glad you told us.”

Dad stands up and sits on the other side of me, his hand on my back, but he doesn’t say anything. I feel this weird sense of relief and confusion.

“You’re okay with it?” I question, a lump lodged in my throat.

Mom makes eye contact with Dad before she looks at me again. “Trevor, I thought you might’ve been years ago.”

My eyes widen. “What? How? Why?”

“I thought you and Lorenzo had a thing,” she says simply with a shrug. “He was always open about his sexuality and you two spent a lot of time together. I don’t know,” she says with a shrug.

“Because he was gay you thought I was gay? I also spent time with Dex.”

“I know, but you didn’t look at Dex the way you looked at Lorenzo.”

I shoot up from the couch. “I’m sorry, what?” I laugh with no humor. “I looked at him differently?”

She glances at Dad like she’s worried she said too much. “I thought so. Did you not like him?”

I run my hands through my hair. “I—not like that...I don’t think. I mean, he’s attractive but…” I trail off and start wondering if I always had a crush on my friend and didn’t realize it. Is that possible? I was just in awe of him. He had one of those personalities that puts you in a better mood. He was funny and outgoing and I liked being around him.

I shake my head. “Okay, I’m just freaking out a little, but that’s besides the point. You thought I was gay and didn’t say anything? Why?”

“Me and your father talked about it briefly, but it didn’t feel right to bring that to you. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. I assumed you’d tell me if you were. You just never brought girls over. You went to school dances with your friends and never made mention of dates.”

“I’ve dated girls.” Her brows shoot up. “Well, not date.” Dad coughs. “Anyway, so, you both thought it was a possibility?”

They both nod, but Dad finally speaks up. “We don’t care either way. Like girls, like guys, date both.” He shrugs. “As long as you’re happy.”

I drop down to the empty couch and a sob escapes my throat. The relief I feel is immeasurable. They don’t care. They never did. I could’ve been free sooner, but at this moment, I’ve never felt happier and more relieved.

They join me on the couch and wrap their arms around me, Mom sobbing next to me as Dad pats and rubs my shoulders.

“I’m sorry for keeping it from you guys for so long,” I say, sniffling. “I feel like I’ve been questioning myself for years, but I went along with what was expected. I don’t think I fully accepted the truth until recently.”

“Hey, you’re our son,” Dad says, piercing me with the green eyes he gave to me. “Nothing could ever change the way we feel about you. We’re so proud of you, and we love you more than anything in the world.”

The unconditional love they have hits me hard in the chest, causing more tears to leak from my eyes. It’s several minutes before I pull myself together. When I do, I decide to tell them one more thing.

“I met someone.”