Infernal Games by Jenna Wolfhart
24
Terror charged through me. I sucked in a deep breath and flew up straight, damp hair plastered to my forehead. Breath heaving, I glanced around. Black silky sheets. The murmur of distant conversation. The scent of fire.
I sagged back against the bed and tried to calm my racing heart. Panic had wrapped its claws around me while I’d slept. Not entirely surprising. I’d been dreaming about our shared past, and all I could see was Lucifer’s twisted smile when he’d plunged a knife into my chest.
Shaking the thoughts away, I reached across to the other side of the bed. It was cold to the touch.
Where was Az?
After throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I padded over to the door and peeked into the living room. Only Az and Caim remained awake, sipping on gin and tonics topped with lime. They looked tense and angry, the lines on their faces deep and raw.
“I just keep thinking about Morax,” Caim said with a shake of his head. “Losing him was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.”
“You know I feel the same,” Az said quietly, swirling his drink. “His death ripped me apart in an unimaginable way. I never really recovered from it.”
Caim glanced up. “I know, Az. We all know.”
His grip tightened on his glass. “I’ve failed them. You, too. I should have kept you safe, but I was the one who sent you after those fucking fallen angels.”
“We would have gone anyway, Az,” Caim muttered. “You know we would have.”
“Not if I’d told you to stand down.” Sighing, Az pushed up from the chair and refilled their drinks. I wondered how many they’d had by now. Maybe I should join them. A drink might help me relax.
“It’s sweet what the girls have tried to do for us,” Caim said as he approached the scattered maps on the floor. He picked through them one-by-one and then crumpled several sheets into a ball. “Too bad it was a bunch of wasted effort. Lucifer would never let us get near the Legion, even if we found them.”
“I know.” Az turned toward him. His eyes were hollow and dark. “We’ve lost them, haven’t we? Their fate is sealed. Not unless I do what needs to be done.”
Caim shuddered and then took a long gulp of his drink. “I don’t want you to do this, Az. There has to be another way. If the others knew...they’d never agree to it. Surely that has to mean something.”
My heart thundered, and I inched a little closer to the door. I’d thought I knew what they were talking about, but now I wasn’t so sure. What was it Az planned to do? Whatever it was, it didn’t sound like it matched up to what we’d been discussing all day. Find the Legion. Destroy Lucifer. Live happily after ever. All of them. Including Az and me.
“I have to, Caim.” Az closed his eyes. “It’s the only way to keep the Legion and Mia safe. I’ll give myself up to Lucifer, and everyone else can go free.”
Shock punched me in the gut, and I pressed a shaking hand to my heart. No, I mouthed, grateful no sound came out. He couldn’t be serious. Az couldn’t mean this. The last thing anyone wanted was for Az to sacrifice himself.
He continued. “Lucifer made it clear. He’ll let everyone live if Mia and I part ways permanently. You saw the look on her face, Caim. She’d never leave my side. The loyalty I’ve always wanted is right here in front of me, and I have to walk away.” His face screwed up in pain. “But it’s what I have to do.”
Caim downed his drink and slammed it on the table. “You think this is the solution, but it’s not. You know what will happen, don’t you? Not a single one of us will let you face Hell on your own. If you go, we’ll go. That’s how it’s always been, and that’s how it’ll always be.”
“No,” Az growled, stalking toward Caim. “You will stay here and continue on with Infernal. That’s an order, Caim.”
Caim shrugged. “I’ve ignored orders before. I have no problem ignoring them again. Not when it comes to this.”
“Dammit, Caim!” Az shouted.
I ducked back into the room, my heart hammering hard. I’d heard enough. No wonder Az had been so strange during my meeting with the girls. He’d never had any intention of following along with our plan. He’d been stewing in his dark thoughts, preparing to sacrifice himself.
And Caim was right. If Az went, they would follow him, no matter how hard he fought them on this. They were a family. And family stuck together.
I blinked back a fresh wave of tears. Az was wrong. There was another way for us to end this. My presence in this city was the problem, and it always had been. Lucifer’s words had been clear. No one had to go to Hell. Not me. Not Az. Not his Legion.
With my chest burning, I darted through his room and threw some clothes into a bag. His t-shirts mostly, and a pair of boxers. I had nothing else here with me, and I’d need a few clothes and some cash for the road. At least for a little while. Until I found my feet again.
I didn’t dare stop by my Brooklyn apartment on the way. He’d think to look for me there. So would Lucifer. I had to do this right so that neither one of them could ever find me.
I wouldn’t let Az submit himself to a life of torture. Not when there was another way.
After throwing the bag over my shoulder, I hovered by the door, listening for a chance to escape. When the demons drifted into the kitchen for another drink, I took my chance. Breath held in my throat, feet as soft as I could manage, I whispered out his bedroom, into the corridor, and out of his life forever.
