Evil’s Pact by Raven Dark

4

Ruined

Iwake an ineffable time later lying across a bed with blankets pulled up to my chest. There’s a painful stinging on the side of my neck, a fierce prickling, and I wince as my hand flies up to grab at it.

“No, honey, don’t do that.”

Jules’ voice.

I jerk my head to the side. She’s lowering herself onto the mattress beside me, holding my hand back.

I swallow, my throat dry. My head feels alarmingly sluggish. “What happened?” I croak. “Why does my neck feel like it’s on fire?”

She licks her lips, looking uncomfortable. She won’t meet my eyes.

“Jules,” I drawl slowly, my nerves set on edge.

“Just don’t touch your neck, okay? I’ll help you take the bandage off, but it has to be done carefully.”

Alarm bolts through me. “Bandage?”

I sit up slowly, and my head swims. I feel exactly like I felt when I woke up in that cell and Spider tortured me. Like I’d been…

My mind flashes back over to the last thing I remember. Pip and I sharing a drink. Him asking if I was okay. My downing the shot. And then the world blanking out.

I’m sorry about this, Emma.

“Oh, you have to be kidding me,” I snap. “That low-down, dirty… he drugged me.”

“Don’t be mad at Pip,” she soothes. “He was just following orders. Spider told him to. Pip’s a prospect, he has to do what the guys—”

“Spider.” Jules’ words hit me like a sucker punch. “Spider told him to… Why?” My voice comes out cold and hard. “What did Spider do to me?” I reach for the side of my neck again, and she stops my hand.

“It’s a tattoo,” Jules says with a careful sort of calm. “Spider thought it was the only way to…well, he didn’t want…”

My eyes pop. “He put a tattoo on me?” My voice sounds slightly hysterical.

“Well…” She winces.

I put up my hands. “Wait. Let me get this straight. He had me drugged, knocked out, and put a tattoo on me without my knowledge?”

“If it makes you feel better, I already gave him a piece of my mind. It didn’t do any good, but I yelled at him.”

I throw back the blankets and swing off the bed. “Where is he?” I snarl.

“He’s already gone. The guys won’t be back for a while.”

I look at the window. Sunlight is streaming in. I hadn’t even noticed. It looks like it’s afternoon. Great. I’d like nothing better than to punch Spider in the face, and he’s not even here for me to get mad at.

“Fine, I’ll settle for ripping Pip a new one for playing lapdog. Where is he?”

“He’s not here either. He went with Spider and the others on club business.”

I roll my eyes. “Perfect.” I go to the mirror, turning my head slightly to get a better look. There’s gauze covering a spot on my neck, at the side and toward the front, just below my jawline. It’s about five times the size of a quarter, and the whole area burns.

It’s beyond words the way I feel. Betrayed doesn’t begin to describe it. A fathomless sort of fear eats away at me, too, fear of what I’ll see when the bandage is off, of what people will say. And of something else that has no name. And it’s all the worse that I feel as tricked by Pip as I do by Spider.

“Let me see it,” I say tightly, turning to her.

“Emma—”

“Let me see it!”

Jules sighs. She nods and stands up. “Come here.” She reaches up, gently peeling the away the end of the adhesive tape holding the gauze in place. “The wrapping has been on overnight, so it’s safe to take it off, but you’ll need to gently wash it with soap and water. Ink left lotion for you. You’ll have to apply it several times a day to keep it from drying out. And don’t scratch or rub the tattoo at all for a few days. Keep it uncovered.”

My brain seems to have short-circuited. I hear the words, but the meaning washes off of me without sinking in. A tattoo. The idea of Spider having permanently marked me this way is somehow terrifying.

“Fine,” I say tonelessly, the word automatic.

She peels the bandage off and tosses it in a wastebasket by the desk. I hold my breath and turn to the mirror, unsure I want to see what humiliating mark he’s chosen to add to those he’s already scarred me with.

I can’t say I’m surprised at what I see, but I am shocked at the way it looks. It’s…beautiful.

The tattoo is a large spider at the center of a web. The spider is drawn in harsh angles and sharp lines in jet-black. The tattoo matches the arachnid Spider has on his chest, and the webbing is drawn in thin silver lines that seem to sparkle in the light.

If the situation were different, I’d have loved seeing the tattoo on my skin, a gorgeous brand marking me as his. But knowing how it got there—that he knocked me out and had it done without my knowledge—makes the marking feel sinister, even cruel. I feel defiled, ruined somehow, as if he’s robbed me of any hope of my ever reclaiming my life or escaping him. Because even if I ever got away, the mark would still be there, and unlike the scars on my chest, which can be easily hidden with clothing, the tattoo isn’t so easily covered.

Which I know is the whole point.

My eyes prick with hot tears. “How could he do this?” I choke out.

“Emma, really, it’s not so bad,” Jules says bracingly. “It’s a beautiful tat. And no one will ever try to do what Primer did again. No man will ever come near you now.”

The words ring with implications I know she probably didn’t intend, and that ruined feeling digs itself deeper. Last night, I’d had that profound sense of belonging to the club, but today, all those warm and fuzzy feelings corrode inside my heart like dark and evil things. Things I wish I could cut out of me. I want only to be away from it, away from anything associated with the MC. All at once, I feel as trapped here as I ever was in the Colony. Jules’ presence, once a comfort, suddenly burns my insides.

I slam my hands on the dresser. “He had Pip drug me,” I rasp. “He chose Pip because he knew we were becoming friends, didn’t he? He wanted to take that from me.”

She opens her mouth and then closes it, shrugging helplessly. Anger with Spider flashes in her eyes. “It’s not only about that. Pip’s a prospect. He wants his patch. He has to do what the guys say to get it. That’s just how it is—”

“He drugged me for a lousy patch?” I snap.

“You don’t get it. The club is his whole world, it’s—”

“Get. Out,” I growl.

“Emma, don’t—”

“Get out!” I scream.

Jules recoils as if I’ve slapped her. Her eyes are suddenly shiny. She drops her shoulders and slips out of the room, shutting the door softly behind her.

I collapse onto the bed, cover my mouth, and my shoulders shake for a long time.