The Temporary Roomie by Sarah Adams
“I’m so sorry Levi woke you up at five again this morning.” Lucy is sitting across from me at the breakfast table as we both nurse our coffees.
I moved in with Lucy last week after my pipe-bursting fiasco. I had to shut off my water, but I really thought it would be one of those situations where I’d just pile on the dry shampoo until they could repair the pipe. I thought wrong. Once the repairman went under my house, he found that not only do I have old pipes, I also have black mold due to said old pipes leaking for an extended period of time. Isn’t that wonderful? So much fun.
Thankfully, Lucy and Cooper were sweet enough to let me move into their guest bedroom for as long as I need (which, according to Bob the Builder, will be approximately three weeks). That would have been fine—if Levi didn’t take it upon himself to become my human alarm clock, specifically one that wakes me up three hours earlier than needed every day.
“It’s fine! Don’t worry about it,” I tell Lucy, hoping I sound genuine.
She can see right through me. “No, it’s not. You’re miserable.”
“Well…only because I still have insomnia at night, so mornings are really the only time I sleep well. But that’s okay!” See? I can be nice even though I feel like Ursula under this sunny smile. Because the truth is, I love Levi to pieces. That said, if he wakes me up one more time, his favorite teddy bear might go missing.
“It’s not just Levi, though. I know the hot water has run out twice now while you’ve been in the shower.”
I wave a dismissive hand like pssshhhh. “Cold showers are all the rage, and it’s not anyone’s fault that this house has a small hot water tank.”
“And you have to watch TV every night with me and Cooper. I know it’s driving you nuts not having a place of your own.”
I set my coffee mug down. “Are you trying to convince me I’m miserable here? Because I’ll give it to you—you’re making some headway.”
She grins. “Yes. I am.”
My shoulders slump. “Oh. Do you want me to leave? Lucy, I’m so sorry! I should have thought about how inconvenient it would be for you and—”
“Oh my gosh, I’m going to slap you if you keep talking! No, you’re not an inconvenience! I love having you here. But I also know living with another family while you’re in your last trimester is probably really annoying.”
“I don’t have any other options. I can’t afford to rent anything on top of paying my mortgage and saving for this baby’s birth.” To say I’m scraping my nickels together would be an understatement. I’m not only scraping, I’m diving under couch cushions and searching grocery store parking lots with a magnifying glass, and never once have I turned up my nose at a penny.
“Actually…I can think of somewhere you can stay for free.” The mischievous glint in her eye makes me frown deeply, because instinctively, I know who she’s referring to.
“No. Never. Not his house.”
“But Drew has a spare room! And he’s great with roommates because he’s always had one.”
I stand up from my chair. “And he’s evil and unbearable to be around. So no. Absolutely not. I’m done with him, and you know this.” I wish she would give up trying to force Drew and me to like each other. It’s not going to happen. I won’t let it.
As I’m walking out of the kitchen, Lucy yells, “But Drew is hardly ever home! You probably won’t even see him. You’ll have a house practically all to yourself.”
I want to say her words don’t call to me like dark magic, but they do. Possibly because at that exact moment, I step on a little metal race car, and there is a fifty percent chance I now need a new foot. I don’t show my weakness to Lucy, though, and I’m just stubborn enough that I will set my own alarm for five AM every single day only to prove how happy I am here and not at all in need of a quiet place like Drew’s evil lair.
“Can you help me find a woman to take to a medical fundraiser gala in a few weeks that will be cool with pretending she’s my girlfriend in front of my colleagues?” I ask Lucy as she puts two pizzas in the oven.
“Sure.”
My eyebrows fly up. “Really? I thought you’d say no, or at least have to think about it for a minute.”
She closes the oven door and stands back up—and now I can see her devious smile. “I don’t have to think about it at all. I know the perfect person.”
My own smile drops. “No.”
She rolls her blue eyes, which are only a slightly lighter shade than mine. “Ugh. Why are you two always saying that word? Jessie would be perfect!”
I cross my arms and lean back against the counter. “I think you’re confusing the word perfect with horrible, dislikable, rude, obnoxious, irritating…I could go on if you want.”
Lucy does not look amused. “Jessie is none of those things.”
“She hit me in the face with a pack of diapers.”
Lucy pauses and scrunches her face. “Okay, yeah, admittedly that wasn’t her finest moment, but she can be very sweet.”
Not buying it. “I’ve never seen any evidence.”
“Well, you not showing up to help her that day her grandaddy was coming into town definitely didn’t help things.”
“Exactly! So what makes you think she’d even be interested in helping me enact the same ruse? More than likely she’ll wrap me up in chains and toss me off a bridge, toasting my lifeless body with champagne as it sinks to the bottom of a river.”
Lucy’s mouth is slightly open, and she shakes her head. “You two have disturbing perceptions of each other, and they’re wildly inaccurate. By the way, would you ever wear a white linen suit?”
“Hell no.”
She gives me a sassy duck lip expression and says, “See?”
My sister has lost it. She has a horrendous witch for a best friend who has singlehandedly ruined her sanity. I get it—Jessie ruins my sanity too.
“No, I don’t. But even if I did ask her—which I won’t—what makes you think she would do it?”
“Because you both have something the other needs, and you could very easily make a trade.”
I want to ask what she’s talking about, but in the next moment, Cooper comes through the door that connects the kitchen to the garage and makes a beeline for Lucy.
“Hi,” he says in a dumb, soft voice as he gathers her up in his arms and clasps his hands behind her low back. “Sorry, I’m late. Traffic was really bad today.”
I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t still a little weird for me to see my best friend and sister like this, all affectionate and married. I’m getting used to it, but some days, when the loneliness feels too heavy, I have a hard time looking at them.
“That’s okay,” Lucy says, taking on a dreamy look while angling her face up to him. She taps her index finger to her lips, and Cooper takes the overt hint by bending down and kissing her on the mouth.
Aaand gross. Two seconds in and Cooper is already kissing Lucy way deeper than any brother should ever have to witness his sister getting kissed. I gouge out my eyes real quick and then turn away, too scared to look back until I’m sure they are done exchanging saliva. I thought getting married would help them both cool off in the PDA department. Nope. It’s been over a month and it seems to only be getting worse.
After what feels like 100 years, I hear the disgusting sound of lips de-suctioning from each other. I’m honestly kind of annoyed at them. Before Cooper met my sister, life was good. I didn’t feel like anything was missing. I worked hard, and occasionally I played hard. I dated around a sufficient amount, but nothing ever got serious, and everything felt comfortable that way. And then…Lucy came along and stole my best friend. But that’s not why I’m mad. I’m upset because now I see them together—a family—and I want what they have. I want to love someone like Cooper loves Lucy, and I want someone to love me like Lucy loves Cooper. The uncomfortable truth is, I don’t reach out to any of the women I’ve gone out with for a second date, and they don’t reach out to me for one either. Usually, they hear I’m a doctor and they’re all in, but then by the end of the date, they learn I’m a gynecologist, and when I blink, all that’s left is a trail of smoke from how quickly they ran away.
I hear Lucy whisper to Cooper that I’m in the room, and he laughs. “Dude, sorry. I didn’t realize you were standing back there.”
“You should be. That was horrifying to witness. As payment for seeing and hearing way too many things, you have to help me talk Lucy into setting me up with a woman for a night.”
Cooper’s eyebrows shoot up, and clearly his mind has gone somewhere less G-rated.
I grimace. “Let me rephrase that: I need a fake girlfriend to go with me to a fundraiser so I don’t have to date my colleague.”
His face clears, and he looks relieved that I’m not asking Lucy to pimp out one of her friends. Apparently, these two have really high opinions of me these days.
“Didn’t you just ditch Jessie for something similar to this?”
I throw my hands up. “I didn’t ditch her. I was sleep deprived and forgot. There is a difference. But even if I did do it on purpose, could you really blame me? Who in their right mind would help a woman so rude and abrasive?”
“Well, you’re not exactly daisies and roses yourself there, Dr. Stuck-up.” Jessie suddenly appears from around the corner like an evil genie I accidentally summoned. My skin prickles at the sight of her sharp green eyes. They are blazing. Strangling. Smothering. One dark blonde brow is cocked up, her arms crossed over the yellow t-shirt pulling tight against her chest and small baby bump. The corner of her mouth is tilted. She looks like venom wrapped up in sunshine.
“Jessica,” I say, giving her a short nod like we’re in a saloon in the wild west. If I had a cowboy hat on, I’d tip it down, so it covered just one of my eyes. I need a piece of wheat.
Jessie’s gaze falls down the length of my body, tripping like a rock skipping across a pond. Face. Shoulders. Biceps. Torso. Thighs. Feet. At first, I think she’s checking me out, until her head tilts and she smirks. “Your fly is down.”
I chuckle once. “Nice try. Did you steal that shirt from a toddler?”
“Nope. From your mom.”
Somewhere in a schoolyard, a group of teenage boys all crow with laughter.
“You two aren’t very nice,” my sister mumbles quietly from the sideline. Poor Luce. She’s still hoping Jessie and I will kiss and makeup, and no doubt that’s what she was imagining would happen if Jessie moved in with me. Over my dead body.
Jessie and I lock eyes, and both of our smiles fade. Blue rams into green, tension racing between us like a current. It’s not the good kind, though. It’s that special brand that has turned friends into foes, made business partnerships crumble, and sent countries to war. It’s not a delicate string tying us together. It’s quicksand, gripping our ankles and pulling us both down inch by inch until we’re smothered. It’s loaded and charged, and—
Lucy’s loud clap zings around us. “Okkkkaayyyyy! Who’s hungry? The pizza will be coming out of the oven any minute, so everyone grab a plate.”
Jessie walks up and stops right in front of me. I know I’m partially blocking the cabinet that holds the plates, but I’m a mean bully now and make no attempts to move out of the way. She, of course, won’t back down either. She’ll drill a hole right through my body to get to the dishes if she has to. Inching up closer, she stands directly beside me, and her shoulder presses against mine as she reaches partially around me into the cabinet.
In the second before she pulls away, she leans close to my ear. “I’d watch your back if I were you, Dr. Stuck-up. I’m not good at forgiving and definitely never forget, but I’m excellent at getting even.”
I turn my head just enough to look her right in the eyes. “Looking forward to it, Oscar.”
Oscar is the nickname I christened her with the day she started calling me that awful Dr. Stuck-up,and she still has no idea what it means. When she’s not calling me by that little gem, she calls me by my first name, Andrew…which I might hate even more. Every single thing between us is an equal back and forth, so if she calls me Dr. Stuck-up, I call her Oscar. She calls me Andrew; I call her Jessica. It’s how things are done around here.
Her full mouth blooms into a wicked smile before she pulls back with her plate and walks away, promises of future torture hanging in the air.
That’s when I look down at my jeans. “Dammit,” I mumble, and then I zip up my fly.
