Last Guard by Nalini Singh

Before

I dream of him every night. And yet he isn’t in my arms. I should’ve never even looked at the proposal Fernandez sent through. I should’ve listened when Mother advised me to talk to multiple others who had been in my position.

I thought I knew better, thought I understood who I was and how carrying a child in my womb would affect me. I was wrong and I must live with that.

—From the private journal of Magdalene Mercant

“I’M SORRY.”

“Why?” He made his voice hard, as hard as he was trying to make his heart. “You did everything legal. You had no responsibility to me.”

The small woman with eyes of hazel brown and hair of moonlight gold didn’t look away, didn’t get up and leave. “It was my responsibility to ensure that no harm ever came to you. In that, I failed.” Cool, clear words, with no edge of excuse. “I am a Mercant—and no one gets to hurt our children.”

He refused to believe her, refused to be vulnerable ever again even though he was scared and lonely and nothing in his body was working right. “Okay, fine. Can I be alone now?”

“I deserve your rejection, but that won’t stop me from being your mother. Whatever you need, I will provide—including protection.”

He stared out the window of the hospital suite rather than answering, his heart beating too fast and his skin all hot. “I hate you,” he bit out. “I hate you.”

“I know.”