Fallen Rose by Amelia Wilde
Chapter Twenty-Three
Haley
Leo was a dream, and I’m awake now. Awake in a hospital room next to my dad’s bed. Awake with a book in my hands, wearing old clothes from my closet.
Back in my old life.
Though in my old life, I could fall into a book and let it take the hours away. Now the words make no impression. I keep having to start the page over. My dad sleeps in his bed, oblivious to everything. He’s improving now that we’re a few days past his surgery. Sleeping better.
I’ve read five paragraphs without taking in a thing. Maybe I shouldn’t have submitted my deferment this morning. Maybe schoolwork would be easier to concentrate on. There are grades to think about, at least.
I swallow a snort. Grades. I don’t think I could bring myself to care about grades. They used to matter to me. They used to be everything to me. Grades and books and my family. They’ll be everything to me again. Hopefully by spring semester.
It would be a good idea to get a notebook and a pen and make a plan for the next few months. First thing on my list is to get my dad back to good health. He’s the only parent I have left, and I love him. I need him and his disorganized presence in my life. Second is to figure out how I’m going to get back to school after a semester-long delay. And third is to hope against all hope that I’ll stop feeling like a clawed animal has reached inside my chest and torn it apart for sport.
“Hi, Haley.” The evening nurse bustles in, keeping her voice low. She’s efficient with her checks. “I wanted to let you know, hon, that we’ll have to reauthorize the hospital stay within the next twenty-four hours.”
“Okay.” My heart rate spikes. Reauthorizing the stay means coming to a new payment agreement with Caroline. If Caroline won’t pay, the hospital will discharge my dad. They can do it as long as he’s in stable condition. Which he is. I’d just have to keep him that way at home. “Will you let me know if you need anything from us?”
“Of course I will.” She takes some notes on her clipboard. “Back in a while. Use the Call button if you need anything. If I’m not here another nurse will help you.”
There’s no dedicated team just for my dad here. The difference between his hospital stay and Leo’s breaks my heart. Everything breaks my heart. I’m going to be walking around with a useless muscle in the center of my chest forever. If only it would ease up on the aching hurt. I’d settle for being numb.
Soft footsteps come in through the door. The nurse must have forgotten something from her list. Good. I can ask her what medicine is in the IV. I open my mouth to do it.
And shut it again.
It’s not the nurse moving into the room as if she owns it.
It’s Caroline.
She’s in her beautiful Prada coat. A brilliant white against the tired walls. Her hair is in a shining, complicated knot. Bright eyes. Pink cheeks. I could be standing at a Constantine party like we went to as kids. Me in threadbare clothes, trying not to do anything embarrassing in front of perfect Caroline. My skin crawls. Her perfection is a lie. Below the glamorous clothes and the gorgeous face is a corrupt nightmare.
A genteel tilt of her head as she peers at my dad. “He hasn’t breathed his last?”
My book snaps closed in my hands. How dare she? Prickling indignation makes my muscles ache. I can’t react to her. I can only respond. We need her now, so I have to be polite. I can’t risk my dad’s care. “He’s in stable condition after the surgery. They had to go back in yesterday for a minor fix, but he’s resting a lot more comfortably now. His doctors don’t want him released for another few days so they can be sure he’s ready for the next step.”
“Mm-hmm. Your father is going to have a long recovery.”
“I’ll be by his side. I’m not leaving.”
Caroline’s eyes meet mine for the first time since she came into the room. Cold. The blue in her eyes is so cold, and edged in satisfaction. “Good. You’ve spent too long as a Morelli whore as it is.”
My breath catches in my throat. Her words should be meaningless. They shouldn’t sting at all. But they’re side by side with the truth. I was a whore for Leo Morelli. I couldn’t get enough of him. I wanted all of him, forever, and Caroline destroyed everything we had.
I blink at her, lifting my eyebrows a fraction of an inch. A hint of shock. I’ve seen Caroline deploy this expression at parties to keep the people around her in line.
She narrows her eyes, and I lose my nerve. Shame runs hot over my cheeks. I’m ashamed of everything. Of turning back into quiet Haley Constantine, the girl with her book, and not standing up for my dad. For myself. I’m ashamed that I let her comment sail past. I’m ashamed I didn’t fight hard enough to stay with Leo.
“We need to get you settled,” Caroline pronounces. “It will be the best thing for everyone, including your father.”
“What does that mean?”
It could mean anything. She’s kept my dad under house arrest before. She could keep me in our house, too.
“It means you’ll marry Rick on the second of February. The venue has been booked, and invitations will go out in three weeks. Traditionally, the bride’s family covers most of the costs. I know your father isn’t in any position to do so, but you’re a lucky girl. You have a loving extended family.”
Horror is a hard plastic chair in a too-small room. It’s endless beeping from machines that monitor whether your dad is going to live or die. It’s a woman who’s done unthinkable things laying out your entire future in a reasonable tone.
“No.”
Caroline purses her lips like I’m a child who’s refusing to sit down for dinner. “You’ll do as I say.”
“You can’t make me take any vows. You can’t make me say I do.”
Her cool gaze flicks to my father and holds. The threat digs into my gut. Into my heart. “Actually, darling, I think I can.”
“I’ll never marry him.” I want to sound strong. Defiant. Unafraid. But my voice trembles. It gives me away. All my doubt. All my fear. That little shake is enough of an admission.
The corner of Caroline’s mouth turns up. She looks me up and down one more time. “Enjoy your book.” She moves to the door, graceful as ever, then stops. “Oh—I thought I would stop by the billing department on my way out. I believe there was something to reauthorize. A form or two.” She laughs a little. “There’s always so much paperwork when it comes to hospital stays. I suppose I could make it easier on myself if I bowed out and left things to you.”
This is how it happens. Caroline stands here in her white coat and her beautiful makeup and pretends the choice she’s giving me is a real one and not the cruelest possible joke. My eyes sting with tears that I am not, not, going to let fall in front of her. Caroline already knows how far I’ll go for my family. She knows I was with Leo. She’ll know why I was with Leo. The difference between them is that Caroline pretends to be a queen when she’s a monster. Leo pretends to be a monster when he’s a prince.
He is a prince.
Isn’t he?
The things he said when he sent me away can’t have been things he meant. Things he felt. They had to be a cover for something else. That’s how Leo is. He shows people what they expect to see so that he can keep his true self hidden. So that he can keep himself safe.
Unless it’s the beast who’s real.
In the end, it doesn’t matter, does it? In the end, he’s not coming to save me. I’ve spent every day here in this hospital room, wishing he would come for me. Wishing he would fold me in his arms and take my chin in his hand and kiss me until it hurt. But he’s not. He’s allowing Caroline to be here instead.
She lets go of her sleeve and tucks her hands into the pockets of her coat. “What do you think, Haley? Should I tell them I’m all finished funding your father’s care?”
Yes. I’ll figure it out. I’ll get a job. I’ll work nights so I can be with him whenever he’s awake. I’ll take the risk with his health to prove a point to you.
My mouth is bone-dry. “You know you can stop paying for him any time, Aunt Caroline.” I could cry. I could scream. “I wish you wouldn’t. Please help him.”
A smile that cuts. A smile that slices me open. A smile that demands what’s left of my heart in ribbons. “All right. But only because you asked so nicely. After all, I’m always here to help my family. Just like you want to help me. Don’t you?”
What will she demand? I already know the answer. Everything. My fake engagement to Rick will become a reality. And more. My whole life will belong to her. I swallow around the knot in my throat. It means saying goodbye to Leo. No. I can’t. My father looks so pale in the hospital bed. He needs me. His life is on the line. “Yes,” I whisper.
