Bodie by Nyssa Kathryn

Chapter 17

Maya didn’t feel the air that whipped her face. She’d been running for at least twenty minutes and her body had not even begun to heat.

But she didn’t feel cold.

Maybe it was because a numbness had settled in her bones these last few days. It was probably her body’s way of protecting itself. From the memory of the break-in, the danger that trailed her, the almost attack at the bar, and of course, the tension between her and Bodie.

The last one was entirely her fault. She was the one pushing him away still. If he had his way, she was sure they’d be sleeping in the same bed. Cuddling on the couch…

Maya shook her head. She didn’t want to think about that.

They weren’t together because she was a coward. She’d never known herself to be a coward before. It was a side that had snuck up on her since meeting Bodie.

Obviously, she was only a coward when feelings were involved.

It wasn’t a surprise that she hadn’t known about this earlier. Never in her life had she felt this way about a person. Never had she felt such fear about falling deeper. About loving a man, only to have him leave her.

She could love Bodie. He would be easy to love…unlike her.

Maya frowned at the sudden ache in her chest. She hated that it came every time she thought about him. It was the only time the numbness faded.

Maya shot a quick glance around the street, wondering where Bodie was now. He never mentioned following her, and he never left the apartment with her, but she knew he was there. Always protecting her.

She appreciated that he was fading into the background and giving her the illusion of space. The space that she so desperately needed right now.

Maya kept her pace slow, so as not to aggravate her heart. It was tough. All she wanted to do was push her body to the limit. Exhaust herself.

She had begun a new habit the last few days. Each morning, instead of just running and returning home, she would make a stop at the coffee shop. Caffeine had become a necessity. It was the one indulgence she allowed herself. If she wasn’t going to let herself have Bodie, she needed coffee.

A few minutes later, Maya came to a stop in front of the shop. She took a moment to catch her breath before pushing inside.

The booth in the back corner was available. Just like it had been yesterday and the day before. It may as well have her name on it. Other people must not like being so removed from the crowd. Away from the hustle and bustle of people.

Maya did.

She was halfway there when a voice and a hand on her arm stopped her. Looking down, her gaze clashed with Shayna’s.

“Hey, girl!”

“Hey, Shayna.” Maya tried to hide her surprise at seeing the other woman away from the bar.

“You discovered the coffee shop! It was inevitable. This place is rad. Have a coffee with me. I need someone to tell my problems to.”

Maya eyed the back booth with longing. She’d become accustomed to sitting alone. She had her own problems to ponder. It wasn’t like she could say no, though. Dropping into the seat opposite Shayna, Maya pulled off her gloves.

Shayna frowned. “Your cheeks are red.”

“I ran here.”

Shayna appeared so shocked by that, her expression was almost comical. “You ran? In the icy winter-land of Keystone?”

“I’m addicted to running.”

Shayna shook her head. “Wish my addiction was running.”

When the other woman didn’t volunteer any more information, Maya had to ask. “What’s your addiction?”

“Good question.” Shayna tapped her chin. “I would have to say chocolate. Especially peppermint chocolate. I’m also pretty addicted to Midori. Oh, and men. I loooove men. Especially ones with a good six-pack.”

Immediately, Bodie’s chiseled chest came to mind. He had a six-pack. Actually, it was probably more of an eight-pack. She didn’t know if that was possible, but then, a lot was probably possible for Bodie that wasn’t for normal people.

Shayna waved over the waitress, and Maya ordered a coffee.

When they were alone again, Shayna leaned across the table. “Okay, now tell me, what’s going on with you and Bodie.”

Ah, crap. Maya could barely think about the man without needing to rub the achy feeling in her chest. She didn’t think she was up to talking about him to another person. “Nothing,” she finally replied. If “nothing” entailed sex, earth-shattering confessions and running away from her feelings.

Shayna rolled her eyes. “You and that beautiful specimen have been on the rocks for days. Why?”

Was the woman psychic? “How did you—”

“It’s obvious, girl. To everyone. Why aren’t you with him right now?”

God, the woman would make a damn good interrogator. “Him and I just aren’t going to work.”

She knew straightaway Shayna wasn’t going to accept that as an answer.

“That’s the weakest excuse I’ve ever heard. The man is infatuated with you. I only need to spend a second in his company to know that. What happened?”

Maya squirmed in her seat. She didn’t owe Shayna an explanation. Heck, their relationship was so new it had only just reached friendship level. But it was likely Shayna wouldn’t stop until she learned what she wanted to know.

“I’m not really in a place in my life to let anyone else in right now.” And she wasn’t sure she ever would be.

Shayna tilted her head to the side. “Okay. I see. You’re scared of commitment. Scared of getting hurt.”

Yes and yes. “Aren’t most people?”

“Don’t know. But I certainly am.” Now that surprised Maya. Shayna didn’t seem like someone who scared easy. “I’m not scared of much, but commitment to a guy scares the crap out of me. I think it’s part of my natural human drive to survive. Which, I might add, is our most powerful drive.”

The waitress placed a coffee in front of Maya, but she barely noticed when Shayna continued.

“If you allow yourself to love someone, then you also give them the power to hurt you. Did you know that unrequited love destroys some people?”

That did not make Maya feel better.

Shayna lifted a shoulder as she took a sip of her coffee. “People need to make their own decisions about whether they take a risk with love, because it is a risk. Whether they follow their hearts or their heads when they meet someone.”

Maya wasn’t sure she fully trusted her faulty heart. “And you generally follow…”

“My head. Whether that’s the right or wrong thing to do, who the hell knows.”

Maya wrapped her chilled fingers around her coffee. She had no doubt she would regret pushing Bodie away. But her heart would be protected from future pain, at least.

“Speak of the devil.”

At Shayna’s words, Maya followed the other woman’s gaze to the door.

There, stepping inside, was Bodie.

He’d never come in before. Even though she’d always sensed him watching, he’d remained in the shadows. Now he was heading their way. His eyes on her. Holding her captive.

* * *

“I’m justacross the street from the coffee shop.”

Bodie could see Maya perfectly through the shop window. She sat with Shayna while he spoke on the phone to his friend and teammate, Mason.

“She still being distant?”

“It’s torture, Eagle.” Torture was probably putting it lightly. “After those assholes tried to attack her outside the bar, all I wanted to do was hold her. Wrap my arms around the woman and protect her. She didn’t want me.”

It was killing him.

“What are you going to do?”

Other than feel sorry for himself? “Not sure. A part of me thinks I should just step back. If she doesn’t want a partner, I need to accept that and just be her protector.” The very thought of doing so had his insides feeling raw with pain.

“It sounds like she’s had a rough time. She probably just needs some space, Red.”

Bodie watched as Maya chuckled at something Shayna said. Even though he was across the street, he could see that the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Any news back home?”

He hoped his friend said no, because “news” usually entailed something bad. He wanted to be there to help when Hylar and his men attacked.

“Nope. No sign of Hylar or Carter’s team.” Carter was another former SEAL. He and his team had also been part of Project Arma. But they’d remained with Hylar after the truth came out.

“Jobs tried to get in contact with Sinclair,” Mason continued. “He wanted to see if the guy has any updates—but he’s on leave. Jobs spoke to the replacement, who’s still getting caught up on everything.”

Sinclair went on leave? “What kind of leave?”

“Jobs did some research, hacked some files. It was recorded as medical leave. Whether it actually was or not is another story.”

Bodie shook his head. Sinclair was the lead CIA agent on the Project Arma case. He was, and always had been, an asshole. The guy was supposed to keep Bodie’s team in the loop on what was going on with the case. He didn’t. The team had researched him extensively, never finding any links between him and Project Arma.

“Go to her.”

Bodie’s brows pulled together at his friend’s words. “What?”

“Stop watching her, walk inside that shop, and talk to her.”

“She doesn’t want me—”

“Or maybe she wants you to convince her that you’re not going anywhere. That you care enough to stick it out.”

Bodie thought he was doing just that by being present. But maybe not. “Okay, talk soon.”

“You gonna do it?”

“Yes. Wish me luck.”

Hanging up, he headed across the road. The moment he stepped inside, Maya’s gaze clashed with his.

He stopped beside their table. “Morning, ladies. Is it okay if I join you?”

The one time he took his eyes off Maya, it was to see a megawatt smile on Shayna’s face.

“Sit,” she said, already pushing the spare seat out. “Before I physically shove your ass into the chair.”

As soon as Bodie sat, a waitress appeared and took his coffee order. When he looked back to Maya, he noticed she was looking at her cup of coffee as if it was a newly discovered species.

“So, Bodie,” Shayna said, “tell us about yourself. Any hobbies?”

Hobbies? Was chasing a deadly enemy classified as a hobby? What about protecting a woman that didn’t want him near her?

“Since getting out of the military, I’ve really just been enjoying my freedom.”

Shayna nodded. “Any women in your life?”

Wow, she didn’t mess around. “There is this one woman I like.” Like…was infatuated with…they were the same, weren’t they?

Shayna propped her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand. “I see. And what is it exactly that you like about this woman?”

The coffee was placed in front of Bodie, and he took a sip before responding. “I like how smart she is. You don’t even need to talk to her to see her intelligence. I like the gold flecks in her eyes that make them shine that much brighter. And I like her courage.” From the corner of his eye, Bodie caught Maya twitch. It was subtle. So subtle, he doubted anyone else would have seen it. “She feels fear, but she doesn’t let it define her.”

This time, he heard her quick intake of breath. Bodie finally looked her way. She was staring right at him. With wide eyes and her mouth slightly ajar.

Shayna sighed. “That. Is so. Dang beautiful.”

Bodie waited another beat before finally dragging his eyes away from Maya. There was more he could say on the matter. But he also didn’t want to push too much. She needed to decide whether a relationship with him was something she wanted to pursue on her own. And he would give her the space to do that.