Regal Queen by Ivy Mason

Nineteen

The slow beatof my heart was like a death toll in my mind, and my fingers dug into the skin of Rose's thighs to hold her in place. Could she hear my pounding heart? The way it rammed itself up into my throat? The fist tightening around it like a noose?

We were on my bed and she was straddling my lap, her arms wrapped loosely around my neck.

Her intense gaze on mine was penetrating, and I grew lost in her gaze for a long moment while the knot in my throat lodged itself there.

"I've changed my mind." Her voice was soft as her eyes flittered shut and she leaned forward, nuzzling her nose against mine. "I don't want you to do it anymore."

"Too late," I replied, still staring into her face.

Her eyes bolted open, falling to the space beside us where I was clutching the phone.

"No." She shook her head vehemently. "Hang up. Don't do it."

She tried to grab the phone but I jerked my hand away from her, my other fingers tightening on her side to keep her still.

I stared into her eyes as I spoke. "I'm doing this, okay? For your sister.”

Fear, harsh and blatant, spoke volumes in her wide eyes. I brushed my hand over her hair, pulling her closer to tuck her close to me. “Just stay, right here with me, and I’ll be okay."

"What the fuck do you want?” Nero's harsh voice came over the speaker, and Rose's body stiffened even as my own back straightened, steeling myself for what was to come next.

My voice was mocking, in the only way I knew how to confront my father. “Is that the way to greet your long lost son?"

“Bourbon!” He immediately exploded on the other line, cursing out a line of expletives before addressing me. "Where the hell are you? I've been looking for you."

Rose's nose brushing across my neck calmed my raging heart.

"I know you have." I forced my voice to seem unaffected, though my anxiety at confronting my monster father was dumping adrenaline into my bloodstream so fast, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

“I knew it. You ran off, looking for that girl. I always knew you were my weakest son."

I bit down on my response, needing to play my role in this for a bit longer. "I'm not calling to talk to you about Rose."

“I should hope not, as the bitch is better off dead. She isn’t worth it, Bourbon, not for all the money we could have selling ozone in our clubs.”

Rage shot through me as he continued his rant. I was going to reach through the phone line and trottle the man.

“It's okay," Rose murmured softly, her fingertips soothing over the skin of my back. I realized that I was squeezing her hip a little too harshly and relaxed my hold over her. She nuzzled into my neck, burrowing her face and I slid my hand across her back protectively to hold her there. I took in a deep breath, gathering her comfort like strings into my heart, wrapping around it protectively.

I might be holding her physically, but she was holding me together mentally and emotionally.

She was my protective shield now.

"I want to talk about Lily," I interrupted Nero and he stuttered, surprised at the change of topic.

When he spoke again, his voice was a sneer. "You're only making things worse for you. Just come home right now, and we'll work this out. We can still make a deal with Dimitri. He's a forgiving man if--"

"You still don't have the ozone." The realization suddenly washed over me. No wonder it hadn't been on that carrier ship.

For the first time in a long time, Nero was speechless, the silence over the phone giving me the confidence I needed to speak again. "He screwed you over. You gave him what he wanted, and he still didn't give you the drugs."

"Just come home, son."

Son. That’s the second time he’d called me that in a matter of months, a record compared to years before. He must really be desperate. He’d probably staked a lot of money and interest on this deal with Dimitri.

He also must think I'm an idiot.

"Son?” I interrupted his tirade about how I owed it to the family, the company, to come home.

"You're still my son," he grumbled. "I still love you."

Now I was truly shocked.

"You've never said that to me. Not once."

"Doesn't mean I don't feel it."

"Feelings are for weak mean," I parroted back to him the words he'd told me a thousand times.

"Cut the shit,” he ground out. “I raised you to be a man. How to protect yourself. There’s no room for weakness in our world. Showing someone else that you care for them makes you vulnerable. The slightest sign of it and our enemies will slit your throat."

Rose was warm at my chest, her fingers tracing over me lightly a reminder that she was real. She was here, with me, in my arms, the woman who'd walked away from me not to hurt me, but to protect me.

The woman who was asking this sacrifice of me to save her sister.

It was true. Loving her made me vulnerable to my enemies.

But loving her also made me stronger than I'd ever been in my life.

It gave me the strength to face my father, to take on a million of my enemies just to protect her.

Loving her was the best thing that had ever happened to me, because I became alive. Human.

My heart pounding in my chest because it ached for her was the most vibrant thing I'd felt in my entire life, and I was going to embrace the everloving hell out of it. If loving Rose made me weak, then I wanted to be the weakest man in the world.

"It's true, Nero. You did teach me that."

"Exactly," he growled. "Now come home. If you come home immediately, all will be forgiven."

"Tell me about my mother."

The sudden change of topic was surprising, even to me, and for a full five seconds, Nero was stunned into silence.

"What did you do to her?" Suddenly, it was the only thing I needed from my father. Lily was the past, but Rose was the future. My future.

My whole life, I was driven by two things in my life.

To protect those I loved.

And to make my father proud.

But right now, in this moment, with Rose in my arms and Coulter at my back, I didn't even need to know if Nero had ever loved me, or if he'd ever been proud of me.

It didn't matter.

Not anymore.

When he didn't answer me, I growled out. "Tell me what the hell you did to my mom."

"She was going to leave me.” His voice was just as vicious. "And I couldn't let that happen. No one escapes me."

"Is that it, then?" I didn't hide the disbelief in my voice. "You couldn't stand the thought of her leaving, so you killed her?"

"I had to. Nobody, and I mean, no one, leaves me."

Deep down, I'd always known the truth, but hearing the confirmation was crushing. Air caught in my lungs. I couldn't breathe.

Couldn't think.

My eyes burnt and Rose pulled back, her concerned eyes catching mine. Reaching forward, her fingers brushed against my face, and I realized with a start that I was crying.

Finally. I was crying about my mother.

The relief was palpable. I wasn’t the monster my father raised me to be. I was human, with real feelings and emotions.

I could actually love in this world and that, more than anything, was the best thing about opening up to Rose. She made me a real man, no longer a prince or a wicked witch, but a king in my own life. Not the shell of a creature growing up under the burden of my father.

The weight of the world lifted from my shoulders.

I was finally free.

Leaning in, I kissed Rose, infusing everything I had in that kiss, needing to feel her pressed against me, needing to show her that she was everything to me in that moment.

When I pulled back, I realized I only needed one last thing from Nero.

"Where did you bury her body?"

Nero sighed impatiently, like I was a child. "You know where she is. You were just there."

I stilled, staring into Rose's warm eyes. So it was true. Nero had known about the house all along. And he’d sent Dimitri there to destroy it, and me.

"You say that I'm the weak one," I said into the phone, still staring into Rose's eyes, "but you weren’t strong enough to live with the thought that mom would leave you, and that’s why you killed her. You couldn't stand the thought that the woman you loved didn’t want to be with you anymore. Who's the weak one now?"

I hung up, tossing the phone on the bed and leaning to lay Rose down on the mattress.

She stared up at me with awe on her face, her cheeks bunched up in that cute look she had when she was smiling so large that she could barely contain it. Her eyes shined with unspent tears of happiness.

“You did it.”

I nodded. “Because of you, Rose. Because of you, my love.”