Flame and Starlight by Dana Isaly
Chapter Thirteen
I looked from Asher to Emric and back again. Both of their eyes were on me, waiting for me to tell my story. It was hard to remember, both because it all happened so fast and because the whiskey was clouding my mind with my own shadows. I poured myself a glass of water instead and took a sip.
“When I was riding Isolde, I started talking to Nyxa. She is the only Goddess or God that I know of here, and I thought it would be better to pray to her than a mortal one.” I swallowed at the memory coming back. “I was running once I got inside the gates because Isolde had thrown me. I decided that I would run across the lake instead of around it because I figured it had been cold enough for long enough that it would be frozen. And I didn’t have to go through the dead center of it.” I looked up, and my eyes caught Emric’s violet ones, staring through the strands of dark hair that fell across his face. He nodded to urge me on. I sighed.
“I felt the ice cracking,” I continued. “I could feel it shift and move underneath me, so I ran harder. I thought I could make it, but I didn’t. When it opened beneath me, I fell into the ice, and I swear I heard my ribs crack in half.” I winced, thinking about that sharp pain. “Anyway, I tried to swim, but it was just too cold. So I kept sinking and sinking. My lungs burned with the effort of holding my breath. Just when I was beginning to give up, I begged Nyxa to save me again. Then she was there. Her eyes—” I shivered at the thought. “They were white and glowed hot. Her skin looked so pale against her black hair. She told me it wasn’t my time to die and told me to change. She touched my forehead, and then I guess that’s when the change happened.”
“I think we’ve had this all wrong from the beginning, Ash,” Emric said as he reclined back into the arm of the couch.
“What do you mean?” Asher asked, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed his eyes seemed to linger on me.
“We may have had it wrong. I mean, we know she has Fae in her. We know that side has come through now. But I don’t see any sign of the Autumn Court.”
I looked down at my hands, thankful my fingertips were free of soot. I flexed them in and out of a fist, testing to see if there was a sense of fire there. Nothing but empty palms stared back at me.
“Her ears are pointed, she’s got our strength, and I can smell her from here.”
“Excuse me?” I cut in sharply.
“You smell different,” Asher said with a wave of his hand, dismissing me and going back to acting like I wasn’t there. Like it was the most normal thing in the world for them to be able to smell me. “What’re you thinking, Emric?”
“I’m not saying I have the answers, but what I am saying is that she could be a different kind of changeling. Up until very recently, it was done quite often. She could’ve been sent out there to protect her identity. What if her mother—” Emric looked at me reluctantly before continuing. “What if her human mother isn’t her birth mother.”
I stopped breathing. “Wait a second. There’s a lot for me to digest there.” They both looked at me as I began to pace in front of Asher’s desk, my steps only slightly wobbling. “Are you trying to tell me that I now smell like a Faery and that the woman that I grew up believing was my mother was not, in fact, my mother?”
“Alys.” The commanding tone of Asher’s voice stopped me in my tracks. I turned to meet his eyes and blinked away the tears from my own. “She was still your mother. She still raised you. But I’m thinking Emric may be right. I think she may not have been your biological mother. Nyxa gave you life—she saved you. Gods are not known for their kindness. And I cannot imagine her bestowing such gifts on someone that’s half human.”
Ouch. I felt myself flinch. Ever since I got here, I was just a weak, useless human. A mortal that was more of a liability than anything.
“She has to have a motive, a reason,” he finished.
“So I’m not a halfling, then? What am I?”
“I’m not sure. But you do smell more like a Faery and less like a human. There’s something different on the edge of your scent, but I can’t place it.” Both of their nostrils flared slightly as they tried to catch my scent.
“Okay, can we not smell me, please? That’s just fucking weird.” I crossed my arms over my chest and made my way back to the bar. I took another shot of whiskey straight from the bottle.
“If she’s something other than Fae and human, she is far more important than anything Theron has planned for her. If he actually has anything other than death planned,” Asher said flippantly with a wide smile lighting up his face, fangs out for me to see on either side of his mouth. I flashed my newly grown fangs right back at him with a clack of my teeth as I bit the air in his direction. He smiled appreciatively and downed the rest of the whiskey in his glass.
I looked out the window and watched the stars dance against the sky and sighed. I felt like I was losing my mother all over again. I already had to watch her wither away and die a painful death once in my life. Now here I was, finding out that she might not have even been my mother. And if she wasn’t, who was? Was my real mother just as evil as they claimed Theron to be? I couldn’t imagine any decent person sleeping with such a horrible man.
“I think I’ve had enough excitement for the night,” Emric said, standing. I looked at him over my shoulder and smiled at him.
“Good night, Em,” I said.
“Night, Wheezy,” he said with a wink, and the door clicked shut behind him. I walked over and took his spot on the couch, letting the heat of the fire mingle with the heat from the whiskey.
“You don’t smell bad, if that’s what you’re worrying about,” Asher said, joining me on the couch, handing me another glass of whiskey. I rolled my eyes.
“Trying to get me drunk, High Lord?” He smiled and took a sip from his own glass. He looked from me to the fire, and when his eyes met mine again, the smile had left them.
“I’m just thinking you’ve had quite the night. Whiskey isn’t a cure-all, but it definitely won’t hurt.”
I nodded and drank deeply. I sank further into the couch, curling my toes under his thighs, and sat the glass on the floor.
“What do I smell like, then?” I asked, stuffing my hands under my legs. He reclined his head and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. There was something attractive in the primal way his nostrils flared.
“Like sweet oranges and spiced chocolate.” His voice came out deep and gruff, like it fought its way out of his throat. The way he was able to pin down my scent so clearly shocked me, but I recovered quickly. I had always been able to smell him, so I guessed it wasn’t that strange to have a scent.
“Okay,” I said, mimicking his posture, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. “You have a scent, too, you know.” I felt him shift his attention towards me.
“And that is?”
“Jasmine and cedar. Sometimes the scent on your shadows kind of remind me of cold mountain air.” He made a small approving noise, and we fell into silence.
I could feel my newfound power vibrating beneath my skin. I was hyperaware of everything in the room. The fire felt hotter, the aftertaste of the whiskey tasted sweeter, and Asher’s magick felt stronger, palpable in the air around me. I could sense him there, the heat from his thigh warming my toes that curled into the cushions. It felt like his power called to mine like magnets to metal. It was a tangible thing, moving and purring against mine.
“What’re you doing?” I thought I heard him ask. But blood was rushing through my ears as I tried to control my magick. I sensed his breathing pick up, shallow and quick. I reached out in my mind, imagining his magick as his shadows were, midnight black and swirling, and gently took it in between my fingers. I smiled. His magick was soft as silk and crawled slowly up my forearm, like it was searching for the manifestation of my power.
“Alyssandra,” Asher said, and my eyes sprang open. He was pale, and his forehead was slick with sweat. “Stop. Let go, please,” he said through clenched teeth. I shook the haze from my thoughts, mentally shook magick from my arm, and sat up straighter. His shoulders slumped, and the color started to creep back into his face.
“I’m sorry,” I said, curling my knees up to my chest. “I didn’t realize what I was doing.”
He glanced at me, and I waited until his breathing returned to normal. He sat up and placed his elbows on his knees.
“I’ve never had anyone able to touch my magick before. That’s what you were doing, right?”
“I think? I could just sense it and—” I stopped trying to explain because I knew I couldn’t without sounding crazy.
“You’re much stronger than I expected,” he said, and I thought I heard a hint of admiration in his voice.
“Well, that’s good news. Once I learn how to use it properly, I’ll be able to take care of myself.”
“It is a relief,” he said bluntly, staring into the fire. I ignored the sinking feeling in my gut. I didn’t like change, and I didn’t like that once I could take care of myself, he could and probably would kick me out. “The Winter Solstice is coming up in a week,” he said, suddenly changing the subject.
“Do you celebrate Christmas?” I crossed my legs like a pretzel and leaned closer.
“Kind of,” he said, a smile playing at his lips.
“I love Christmas.” I smiled when he looked up at me. “My mom used to go crazy for it. She would decorate the entire house until it lit up like a Christmas tree, inside and out.” I ignored the dull ache in my heart. Even if she hadn’t given birth to me, it didn’t make her any less of a mother. And it certainly didn’t ease the pain of missing her.
“Well, I thought we might go to the Winter Court for the Solstice. They’re close to me, in distance and in a political relationship. I’ve been invited and, if you wanted to get out of here for a while, you could come with me.”
My heart beat so hard in my chest I thought it might burst free. “I can come with you? What about keeping me hidden?”
He leaned back into the couch and crossed one leg over the other. “You’ve been locked away long enough.” He sighed. “Honestly, I’m sure he knows by now that I’m the one that took you.” He finished his drink. “His court won’t be invited. It will be safe enough.” His eyes locked on mine then, turning my already warm insides to mush. “And I won’t let you out of my sight, dearest.”
I swallowed, wondering if that was a threat or a promise.
“I’d love to go.”
“Good.” He smiled. “There’s something else, Alys.” He took a breath and looked past me. “I’d like to ask for your help.”
“Okay,” I said tentatively.
“I’d like you to use your gift while we’re there. It could really help me figure out who my allies are.”
Oh.
I tried not to let it hurt my feelings that I had read the situation differently. I cringed and assured myself he didn’t know what it felt like to feel others’ emotions. Because if he did, he wouldn’t be asking me this. I eyed him warily. He may have gone about it the wrong way, but he did supposedly save my life by stealing me away. He’d given me a place to stay and food to eat. Would it really be so awful to spend a weekend helping him trust the people around him?
“I can try.”
His lips turned up in a grim smile. Maybe he did know what he was asking of me after all. He stood, offering me his hand. I looked at it and pushed myself up and off the couch without touching him. His face fell, but a smirk was painted back across his mouth so quickly that I wasn’t sure I actually saw it happen.
“I’ll have Mavka pack your things. We leave in four days.” He turned his back on me as he went to sit at his desk. The floor felt colder now under my bare feet as I silently made my way to the door.
“Good night,” I whispered as I pulled the door shut behind me.
