Don’t Mind If “I Do” by Everly Ashton

Fifteen

Mazzy

A soft knock lands on the door of Nick’s guest room, and I turn away from the mirror.

I arrived here early to get ready for the wedding ceremony. Really, I’ve been hiding, not wanting to see Nick because I’m afraid I’ll chicken out. In a lot of ways, this feels harder than if I were marrying a complete stranger. Nick and I have a lot of soap opera history—friendship, love, and betrayal. Once upon a time, I was a starry-eyed girl who imagined marrying the man waiting downstairs for me, but under very different circumstances.

The pre-nup I had Nick sign when I arrived sits in my bag. He barely even glanced at the words on the page when he signed it. One thing is for sure, he doesn’t want me for my money. Hell, he doesn’t really want me at all. That’s something I need to remember when he shows compassion like he did the other day.

I had Harold draft up the papers at the last minute. Thank God for attorney-client privilege—he can’t tell my parents.

The knock sounds on the door again and I realize my thoughts have drifted off, which they’ve done a lot of this week.

“Come in,” I say, steeling myself for Nick to see me in my wedding dress for the first time. Fake wedding or not, I hope to make an impression. Call it vanity. Or maybe it’s insanity.

A beautiful woman with flowing, rich brown hair and eyes to match pokes her head in the door. Her smile is warm and genuine, and it instantly puts me at ease. “Hi, I’m Jemma, Ollie’s fiancée. Is it okay if I come in?”

“Of course, come in.” I wave her in.

She steps into the room and closes the door. “I didn’t want the first time I met you to be at the ceremony and I thought you might need help getting ready.”

“Thank you. I’m almost done, but I could use some help putting the veil on.”

“Absolutely.”

I grab the veil where I laid it on the bed and pass it to her. Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I take myself in as a bride for a second time. My hand instantly falls to my stomach to calm the quivering nerves.

“You look beautiful. Nick is going to be drooling.”

“I hope so,” I say and realize it’s not a lie. “How is downstairs? I couldn’t believe when we woke up to rain.”

She straightens the veil into position. “It’s gorgeous. They moved everything from outside in. Plus, rain is considered good luck on your wedding day.”

I release a tension-filled breath and watch in the mirror as Jemma puts the veil in. I chose a fairly simple Ellie Saab dress that’s a champagne color at the top, but it lightens to ivory by the time the chiffon ribbon skirt reaches the floor. There’s a peak-a-boo slit up the front that shows off a lot of my left leg when I walk. I thought it was a nice mix of classy and sassy and not too over the top for a wedding at home.

Jemma pins my veil in my hair, which I put in a half updo with large waves. “Did you do your own hair and makeup?”

“I did, yes, does it look okay?” I lean closer to the mirror to see if I’ve smudged my mascara.

“It’s perfect, that’s why I asked. I’m jealous that you’re able to do yours so nicely. This is the extent of my talent in that department.” She points at her face, which yes, has minimal makeup on. But she has natural beauty that makeup would only hide.

“Well, I’ve had years of makeup and hair people working on me, so I picked up some tricks by osmosis.” I smile then realize that maybe that sounds a little superior. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that—”

“Stop. If I had the money, I’d have people doing my hair and makeup too. You don’t need to feel bad about it. Now tell me all about how you and Nick met. I know nothing! Ollie is like a vault and said I should ask you guys. It must be romantic if you’re getting married this quickly. I didn’t even know Nick was seeing anyone.”

“Well, we knew each other growing up and we almost got together once years ago, but some things happened and got in the way. We lost touch. So when we ran back into each other, it was like none of that had happened and it felt like all the stars aligned and the timing was right. Here we are.”

Jemma’s holding her stomach as if it’s going to float away and her eyes practically have hearts in them. Ugh. Will it feel this shitty every time I have to lie to someone about my marriage? To assuage my guilt, I picture all the people in that huge skyscraper downtown getting lay-off slips.

“That’s so romantic. I wish Ollie and I had a story like that, but I accidentally shot him the night we met.”

My eyes widen to the size of saucers. She laughs then launches into the story of how she and her fiancée met, which is hilarious. Listening to her eases some of my nerves and I have a feeling that that may have been her plan all along. By the time we should go downstairs, I’m much more relaxed.

The officiant and the photographer should both be here by now. I don’t need a crazy number of pictures to preserve the memory of today, but I do need something to give to the family’s publicist to send into the society page of the newspaper for our wedding announcement. Not so much for me, but for Nick’s image. I’d be more than okay with not advertising a second marriage for them to ultimately tout my failure once we’re divorced. But a deal is a deal.

“How did Nick seem?” I ask. Is he freaking out as much as I am right now?

“Really calm actually. Which is surprising. The whole unexpected rain that ruined the outside wedding, and well, this whole thing is… knowing him for a year, I thought he’d be a forever bachelor. Who knew true love was just around the corner for him?” Jemma grins and squeezes my hands.

“Wow. Yeah, I’d have thought he’d be nervous too. We should head down there, I suppose.”

“Yay!” She claps as if this is the most exciting thing she’s been a part of. I can’t help but smile at her. “Do you have a bouquet?”

I nod. “In that white box on the bed.”

She opens the box and pulls out the simple ivory and champagne blooms that match my dress. Although Darius is protesting this whole marriage, he was nice enough to pick up the flowers for me before he dropped me off. I had to fill him in on the nuptials after the episode at city hall earlier this week—he knew something was up.

So now he thinks I’ve lost my damn mind.

Jemma hands me my bouquet and my stomach does a cartwheel when my hands wrap around the stems. I wasn’t this nervous during my first wedding, but then, a part of me knew all along that marriage wouldn’t be forever. The man I thought I’d spend forever with is downstairs.

Suddenly this whole fake marriage feels too real, yet I know it’s not. That fact makes it hard to get any air into my lungs. My hand goes to my chest and I try to take big gulps of air, but it only feels as though my chest is closing.

“Are you okay?” Jemma says, eyes wide with alarm. She squeezes my upper arm for a moment.

My arms feel numb and I bend over at the waist, my bouquet dropping to the floor. Jemma yells for Ollie, and the next thing I know, a soothing male voice is coaxing me to sit on the edge of the bed and lean forward to take slow, deep breaths. I concentrate on the sound of his voice and do what he says. Eventually my heart stops racing and my breaths become more controlled, enabling me to sit up.

“How are you feeling?” His brow is furrowed as he looks intently at me.

It’s been a decade since I’ve seen him, but time has been kind to Ollie. He’s still as handsome as ever with his wavy, sandy-brown hair and sweet eyes.

“Hi, Ollie.”

He gives me a sad sort of smile. “Hey, Mazzy. Long time no see. Are you feeling better now? I think you may have had a panic attack. Have you ever had one before?”

“Just when my grandfather died and when I saw the pictures of my ex with his extracurriculars.” I give him a wane smile.

He nods. “High-stress situations can have that effect sometimes.”

I know what he’s getting at. Nick told me that Ollie is well aware this wedding is a farce, though he’s the only one, besides Nick and me, who knows.

“Right, well, I’m okay now. I just need a minute to clean up.” I wipe the tears from under my eyes and straighten my shoulders.

“Are you sure?” He dips his head so that he’s looking straight into my eyes.

I know what he’s really trying to do is give me an out. Ollie always was a good guy. But I won’t be taking the out. It’s bad enough that Nick saw me down and out the other day. This feels even more humiliating.

“I’m fine. Like I said, give me a few minutes and I’ll be good to go.” I stand and smooth my dress down the front.

He nods with hesitation and stands. “Let me know if you change your mind. I can talk to Nick.” He gives a worried-looking Jemma a kiss on the cheek before he leaves the room.

“Sorry about that,” I say to her.

“Nonsense. I hope you don’t mind that I called him. I didn’t know what was going on and I wasn’t sure if I should call Nick instead, but I didn’t want to ruin him seeing you in your dress for the first time. But maybe I should have called him instead of Ollie, I—”

“It’s fine.” I squeeze her hand. “You did the right thing. Thank you.”

“Okay, yeah. Sorry, I ramble when I’m nervous.”

I chuckle. “Apparently I have panic attacks. I’ll trade you.”

We both laugh and get to work putting me back together. Hopefully, this isn’t an omen of what to expect from this marriage, fake or not.