To Have & to Hurt by Morgan Bridges

Tristano

Iwant to shoot Benito.

Of course I won’t, but to ensure the urge doesn’t turn into action, I tuck my firearm into its holster. Then I idly rotate the cell phone in my hand and watch the exchange between Benito and Violetta. He’s acting like a jackass, telling her how she’s going to lose, the entire spectacle complete with his typical theatrics.

But it makes her smile. Again.

The way my muscles tense and my gut churns with a near violent heat is unreasonable. Who gives a shit if Violetta smiles at him and no one else?

To divert my attention, I dial Rafael’s number and wait for him to answer. The bastard sends me to voicemail.  Clenching my jaw in frustration, I try Arturo’s phone this time. He picks up on the first ring.

“Capo?”

“What is my brother doing?”

A pause. “He’s in bed with his fiancée.”

Normally I wouldn’t give two fucks about something like that, but with me not getting laid and Rafael being the one to nail a Nardone sister, I’m pissed.

“Tell him to remove his cock from his fiancée and get his ass on the phone right now.”

Arturo blows out a breath. “Will do. One sec.”

He doesn’t mute the line and soon after a loud knock travels through the phone. It’s followed by a distant, “If you’re not here to join, go away.”

Fucking Rafael. The very sound of his voice grates on my nerves. Without a doubt I’m relieved he’s alive, but that doesn’t stifle my irritation concerning him not answering the phone. He knows better.

A feminine squeal is heard next and then there’s another knock on the door. “Signore, your brother wants to speak to you,” Arturo says.

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

Even all the way in Central America, I can hear Rafael’s curses.

“For fuck’s sake,” he bellows. “You’d think a person would be able to fuck in peace, but not when my uptight brother summons you. That’s when the world stops and we all have to come running with our dicks in hand.”

A door opens, presumably Rafael’s, and then Carina’s voice glides across my ear. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Of course you’re not going any-fucking-where,” he says. “Don’t make me tie you up.”

Her gasp is abruptly cut off by the door slamming closed.

“Tristano, my anal-retentive older brother, what has your cock in a pretzel on this bright and beautiful morning?”

A muscle in my jaw twitches from the strain of clenching my teeth. “When I call you, I expect you to answer, even if you’re balls deep in a cunt. Do you understand?”

Rafael sighs, actually sighs like a fucking damsel in distress. “Dude, you really need to jack-off and let some of the pressure out of your balls because you’re acting nuts. Pun intended, by the way.”

I blow out a sharp breath. Benito’s gaze slides toward me, but quickly returns to his Sudoku after scanning my features. “Need I remind you,” I say to my brother, “the last place you were located was in Nardone’s custody, with the high probability of you being killed? It’s only reasonable I would be concerned. Although, I shouldn’t be, since you clearly aren’t.”

“Is that your way of saying you love me?” Rafael makes a kissing sound and the image of me strangling him appears in my mind’s eye. “I love you too, big bro. So how can I service you?”

“There will never be a day that I’ll want you to suck my cock,” I say, “so enough with the innuendos. Save that for your fiancée.”

Either due to me mentioning Carina, or my cock, Violetta’s sea-colored eyes dart in my direction. They widen infinitesimally in shock and I mull over the reaction while studying her. She swallows deep, the movement working the muscles in her throat and drawing my gaze to the slender column of her neck. It’s hard to suppress the vision of her swallowing my cum after taking my cock between her pretty lips.

My cock jumps and it takes me a moment to redirect my thoughts back to the phone call with my brother. And away from the enticing woman not ten feet from me.

“I received an interesting text message earlier, while you were otherwise entertained, and it’s the reason I’m currently in Guatemala City.”

Rafael whistles. “It must’ve been pretty damn serious for you to up and leave in the middle of the night. What’d it say and who sent it?”

Speaking of our mother is not something I do often. My brothers and I all have our issues concerning her disappearance, however, I was the one who had to grow up quickly and assume a mantle of responsibility they’ll never understand. Nor will I ever allow them to bear it.

I take a fortifying breath, finding it necessary to utter my next words. “‘Unless you restore my brothers at once, my lion will tear you in pieces.’”

The punctuated silence isn’t unexpected, but it is unnatural, especially considering the person who’s on the other end of the phone.

“Rafael?”

He inhales sharply and then blows out the breath just as fast. “I’m…”

Despite the weight of the subject, the side of my mouth lifts in amusement. Rafael is not a man who’s ever at a loss for words. Actually, he could stand to be rid of, or refrain from voicing some.

I nod even though he can’t see me. “I know. It’s extremely unsettling.”

“How would anyone know about that?”

“They shouldn’t. It’s for this reason, among others, I’m going to pursue this messenger. I need to know how they obtained this information and when. This person, who I have yet to be introduced to, or given their name, is supposed to contact me today to meet up.”

Rafael huffs out a laugh. It’s far from humor and closer to derision; my sentiments exactly. “I can’t believe we’ve heard nothing for over twenty years and now someone not only pops out of nowhere, like a fucking prairie dog, but knows something highly exclusive.”

“It’s very circumspect,” I say. Violetta’s gaze shoots to mine and within her eyes are curiosity and uncertainty. I’m always careful not to reveal more than absolutely necessary to anyone, even my brothers, and although she seems to be listening, I won’t give her any pertinent information. “I’ll be sure to keep you updated as soon as I’m able. Reach out to Maximus and let him know what’s going on as well.”

“Yeah, I will.” Rafael pauses for a moment and then, “You have Carina’s sister there with you, right?”

“Yes, why?”

He exhales. “I’m going to have to deal with the repercussions of your decision. Thanks for that by the way.”

“She asked me to watch over her and I gave your fiancée my word,” I say. When I lift my gaze to connect with Violetta’s, she averts her eyes. “I can honor that vow, no matter my location. Besides, this meeting won’t take very long and I’ll return Violetta back to her sister.”

“Return her? Carina has been busting my balls like you kidnapped her.”

“She is not a hostage.”

Rafael chuckles. “No, but you did literally kidnap her because she’s only seventeen.”

“What did you say?” My voice is quiet like a flying arrow riding a swift breeze, deadly and with great stealth.

“Tris, Violetta’s a minor, but it’s not a big deal because she’s going to turn eighteen in less than forty-eight hours. Carina wants her home by then so they can celebrate. Just make sure Violetta’s back in Chicago so I don’t have to fly down there, okay? You know my Spanish isn’t ideal.”

I make a non-committal grunt, seeing as I’m unable, or unwilling, to speak.

“Well, I’m going to hang up now,” my brother continues, as if he didn’t just mentally castrate me. “I’m getting married today, so wish me luck.”

That outrageous statement breaks me out of the rage coiling around me. But only for a moment. “No.”

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘no?’” Rafael’s voice is so loud I have to pull the phone away from my ear to preserve my ability to hear. “I’m a grown ass man and I'll do whatever I want, with or without your approval, Signor Silvestri.”

“Rafael?”

“What?”

“Shut the fuck up and listen for a second.”

Once again, Violetta has shifted her gaze to me, but this time I ignore her. I’ll deal with her later for lying to me.

When I can do it without putting my hands on her.

My brother mutters under his breath but doesn’t resume his tirade, so I continue. “I can’t speak for Maximus, however, I would like to attend your wedding, to witness what should be the greatest day of your life. You and Carina care for each other, which means this isn’t just a marriage of convenience or to secure an alliance. And that makes it worthy to be honored and celebrated. In my opinion at least.”

Rafael snorts. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a fucking sap? Never mind, don’t answer that. I’m sure no one has. Okay, fine, I’ll wait for you to come back, and now that I think about it, I believe having Violetta there would make Carina happier.”

“Undoubtedly.”

“You don’t need to be a pompous ass every time you’re right, you know.”

“Oh, but I do,” I say with a smirk. “You should be used to it by now, seeing as you’re always fucking up in one way or another.”

Rafael’s laughter is loud and obnoxious, just like him. And like my brother, I’m entertained by it. “You might be high and mighty now, Tris, but the day will come when you fuck up badly and when that happens, I’ll be in the front row giving you the finger.”

“Good-bye,” I say.

“Keep Carina’s sister safe. I’m counting on you, brother. Later.”

I drop my arm, bringing the cell phone away from my ear, and tap the device against my thigh while diving into a realm of deep thought. Rafael said Violetta is underage, and although she told me differently, I’m inclined to believe my brother over her.

She lied to me.

And it also means that I let a minor watch me jack-off in the shower. The same minor who let me kiss her, touch her, and talk about fucking her. This fuck-up of mine is probably worse than anything Rafael has ever done.

What makes this more abysmal is I regret nothing, only that her birthday wasn’t yesterday.

A couple hours later, the vehicle jostles us as it travels over the dirt roads and through the dense forests. I keep my gaze ahead, refusing to glance in Violetta’s direction even when the terrain causes the jeep to lurch and sends its passengers careening to the side. She’s fallen into me on several occasions and I fisted my hands to keep from steadying her.

I won’t touch her again.

Violetta bumps into me for the umpteenth time and I briefly close my eyes. The ironclad self-control I have is nearly depleted, because a man can only handle so much temptation all at once. However, I summon my inner fortitude and concentrate on the consequences of my actions if I were to fall prey to weakness. Carina would undoubtedly be upset if I were to take advantage of her sister, causing her to enlist Rafael’s aid.

Getting him involved would take matters from bad to outrageous.

Yet the soft curve of Violetta’s breast pressing against my arm and the scent of her hair flowing over me nearly does me in. She’s quick to right herself and from my peripheral vision I catch her gazing at me with an apology lurking in her eyes. Then Violetta angles her head away from me as she should.

“Violet,” Benito calls from the rear-facing back seat, “don’t let Tristano leave me behind in this God-forsaken shithole if I’m flung from the jeep, okay?”

His familiarity and friendly attitude toward Violetta still irritates the fuck out of me. The sinister part of me wouldn’t mind the idea of leaving his ass on the dirt road.

She turns to face Benito and purses her lips in what can only be a look of pure exasperation. At least Violetta is aware of how stupid he is around her. But much to my displeasure, it doesn’t stop her from interacting with him. I’ve watched how she is around him and her body is more relaxed and her face less resigned.

Why is she so comfortable around Benito?

“This entire trip has been so jumpy I think my balls are in my stomach now,” Benito grumbles. “Violet, if you beat me in Sudoku again, just know the strangulation of my major arteries is stopping the blood flow to my brain and it’s the reason I lost.”

She shakes her head without looking back. I glance at Benito over my shoulder with a raised brow and he gives me a wide grin in return.

This fucker.

I have no doubt I intimidate her, and I admire Violetta for being strong enough to not only stand up to me, but defy me as well. Even so, my palm itches to whip her ass for that. Regardless of what I want to do and not do, she doesn’t like to interact with me, which is why she’s keeping her distance.

This is a good thing, but remembering that is hard.

Just like my cock.

I swear it hasn’t gone down since the moment I caught her watching me in the shower. Violetta’s awfully bold for someone her age, but she’s also a liar. I’ve been fuming ever since Rafael revealed her age and I can’t stop thinking about it.

If there was ever a time for her to be silent in order to stay safe, this is it. However, I still want to know why she lied. Not that she would speak or tell me the truth even if she did talk.

After careful consideration, I suspect it’s because she was worried I’d take advantage of her. Yet, the opposite is true. Had I known she’s a minor, my behavior toward her would’ve been entirely different. For starters, I would’ve kept my fucking hands to myself. Violetta telling me the truth on the flight here would’ve also ensured I took a gentler approach when dealing with her.

But none of that matters now.

The damage is done and despite the fact she’s only hours away from being a legal adult, I find it difficult to reconcile that mentally. Violetta’s body is a far cry from that of a child’s. And I stand by my statement: she needs to be fucked like the woman she is. Her rebellion, although quiet, requires a strong hand to keep it in line.

But that responsibility—and gratification—isn’t mine.

The only task I have is to keep her safe and I’ll do that, but without further complicating things by acting on the temptation she provides. I don’t blame her for being attractive or me for wanting her, but what I am pissed off about is her lying to me. Had I known, I never would’ve done those things earlier.

The carnal part of me rears its head and shakes it in disagreement.

I pull in a breath through my nostrils and release it slowly. What has gotten into me that I’d abandon my self-control and sense of honor for a young woman who is off-limits? My immediate answer is lust, but that goes against every denial of self-gratification I’ve enacted since I became the representative of the Silvestri name.

Violetta has brought nothing but chaos into my life and at the worst possible time.

Usually I can eradicate that by gaining clarity, yet it’s impossible with her because she chooses to stay silent, which gives me no inkling of her thought patterns or intentions. Then add the fact she’s a liar. If she communicated truthfully and verbally, I could tame the thoughts careening through my mind, the ones wrecking havoc.

I shift my focus from inward to outward, restoring my vigilance, and then scan my surroundings. Although, that sort of thing never leaves you. I don’t literally sleep with one eye open, but I am constantly anticipating danger, in one form or another.

Except that of a young woman with the body of a temptress, eyes shrouded in mystery, and a soul with a depth only gained from the harsh realities of life.

As a person who makes predictions every single day, how did I not see her coming?

All my senses go on alert at the sight of a vehicle. It pulls onto the dirt road, coming to a stop several yards in front of us. One of Octavia’s men, who is known as Carlos, says something in Spanish and she responds before turning in the front seat to face me.

“The police are going to want money in exchange for us to continue on. I have enough cash to appease them and it shouldn’t be more than a small delay.”

I nod and then rest my hands next to the firearms located just under my blazer. Violetta’s breath quickens and her spine goes ramrod straight as she watches me. The urge to comfort her coats my tongue with affirming words, but I swallow them down. She doesn’t need that from me and most likely won’t accept it either.

Benito shifting in his seat catches my attention and a silent message passes between us when our gazes line up. The crime in this country is prevalent, and that could be an understatement. I was aware of this when I decided to travel here and I’m more than ready to do whatever’s necessary to ensure I return back to The States.

With Violetta and Benito alive.

Sacrificing them, in order to learn more about my past, is not an option. And never will be.

Carlos presses the brakes and our vehicle slows to a complete stop, leaving a few feet between us and the police officers. They’ve already exited their car and stand beside it with their weapons in hand. There are four men in all and although we outnumber them, they don’t have collateral like us.

That collateral being Violetta and Octavia.

I have no assumptions that either woman knows how to shoot a firearm, but I’m hoping Octavia does. It’d be foolish of her not to have that knowledge in my opinion. I know I’d make sure my wife—hell even a significant other—would be able to aim and fire one with ease. Danger is a part of the world we live in.

If we want to stay safe, we must be ready to protect ourselves.

Especially those under our protective authority.