The Blood Burns in My Veins by Megan Derr

 

 

 

 

Chapter Ten

 

 

"Often we pass beside happiness without seeing it, without looking at it, or even if we have seen and looked at it, without recognizing it."

― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

 

 

Soft rain fell, muting the world and lending comfort where little else could or would. Naoki would have preferred to be at one of his many bars, but he was too easily found there. When he really and truly wanted to be left alone, he came here to the Neko Tavern.

A perverse choice, given it was where his poor little brother had been heartlessly murdered by a hotheaded Ferro, but the tea was good, the dumplings perfect, and the plum wine even better. The proprietor, old man Janshai, was more than happy to keep him well-supplied with dumplings and wine, and ignore him otherwise, which was all Naoki ever really wanted.

It was the perfect place to enjoy his last few hours as a relatively free man. His 'secret' wedding was to take place soon, in a small temple where the destitute head priest was more than happy enough to do whatever Mineko asked for the money she offered.

Soon, very soon, he would be married to a spider. A malmignatta who would likely be rid of him after she fulfilled her obligation of a couple of children. Honestly, Mineko should have been the one to marry her. The snake and the spider. They'd get on marvelously. Children could have been figured out.

Whatever. It hardly mattered now. Soon he would be a husband. It shouldn't bother him so much. He doubted his life would change much at all. If anything, it might improve slightly, as he'd no longer be stuck living under his stepmother's ruthless, heartless gaze. He'd no longer be near to hand when his father needed to beat someone. Mineko would still be lurking, no doubt, but two out of three wasn't bad.

He could also have Haru over, give her a bit more freedom. If there was anything that made this whole debacle worthwhile, it was that. He'd do whatever he could to give Haru the chances he'd never gotten, help her build a relatively happy life within the confines of her inevitable cage however he could.

Sighing, he refilled his cup and sipped. Plum wine was sweeter than he usually preferred, but it made a good counter to the savory, salty dumplings.

Unfortunately, he'd need to stop drinking soon, or he wouldn't be able to perform the marital duties that would undoubtedly be expected of him, if only to ensure there'd be no way for anyone, not even Hardegin-principe, to nullify the marriage when it was discovered.

He took another sip and then made quick work of a dumpling, enjoying the tender pork, cabbage, and spices that filled it. The Ishikawa employed cooks that cost no small fortune, but Naoki still thought the best food was to be found in little overlooked shops like this.

The tingling of the bell above the door caused him to look up reflexively—and then his stupid chest gave an unwelcome lurch. Dante. What in the world was he doing here? How did a newcomer to Verona learn of a place like this?

How did he manage to always look so ridiculously beautiful, even fresh out of the rain on a cold, dreary day that left most people looking like sodden cats?

Dante was dressed in a yukata the color of new leaves, with yellow and orange swirls like someone had taken swipes of a paintbrush across it. Around his hips, holding it in place, was a handsome sash dyed a coordinating orange embroidered with white and green roses. His beautiful dark honey hair was for once swept up and held in place by wooden sticks decorated with jade charms carved like various flowers. The scar across the bridge of his nose just somehow added to his beauty, like that one stark 'imperfection' made the rest of him that much grander.

Naoki reflexively touched his own scar, a habit he'd picked up with alarming ease. His body was riddled with scars, from when his parents or Mineko got a little too enthusiastic in their discipline and left marks that couldn't easily be explained away to a stregone del cuoro. None of them really mattered to him, but he was aware of the mark Dante had put on him every moment of every day.

Dropping his hand, he curled it around his cup again, but all his focus was on the man across the room; even good plum wine could not pull him away.

He watched Dante for a couple more minutes, as he turned to fully face the counter and presented a new view no less perfect than the first. If only Naoki had the same enthusiasm for his marriage that he had for admiring Dante's backside.

Sighing inwardly at himself, Naoki called out, "Ciao, Dante-don."

Dante turned sharply, surprise filling his face for a moment before he regained that iron composure that even Naoki's father would admire. "Ciao, Naoki-don. How did I not see you there?"

"You seemed deep into your thoughts," Naoki said. "I know the look."

Laughing softly, abandoning the counter where Janshai still had yet to reappear, Dante crossed the room to join Naoki. "What are you hiding from?"

"Same thing as always," Naoki said with a crooked smile. "Do you have difficult family?"

"I did, once," Dante replied, looking away, staring at something that only he could see. "My mother died recently, and I have not spoken to any of them in years, not in any way that matters. My friend Forthwind is my only family now, so far as I'm concerned."

Naoki emptied his cup and refilled it. "I think the families we choose are often a far better fit than the families we are stuck with."

"I agree." Dante stood and went back to the counter, bending over it to reach the shelves beneath. He returned after a moment with a second cup and a new bottle of plum wine. "If he takes much longer, I'll get my own dumplings too."

He set his cup down and opened the wine, and a scar caught Naoki's eye. How had he never noticed it before, in all the times they'd crossed paths now? It was right in the center of the back of Dante's left hand, like a knife or some other blade had been shoved into it.

Something stirred, shifted, in the recesses of his mind, but before he could catch it, the thought, or memory, or whatever it was, vanished again. Naoki drank more wine to make certain it stayed that way.

"Always pleasant to have company," he said, lifting his cup. "Kanpai."

Dante lifted his own cup and replied, "Saluti."

"You cannot possibly have a reason to hide from anyone, not yet. You haven't been here long enough," Naoki said. "So what brings you to this dumpling shop on the edge of town? I think maybe ten people in the whole of Verona remember it exists, and that includes the nightsoil collectors."

Dante laughed. "Forthwind loves to explore; it was the first thing he did after we arrived. He found the place, and the dumplings he brought back to our rooms were good. I decided to come see the place for myself, since today is a rather quiet day for me."

"Yes, you strike me as someone who enjoys neither solitude nor idleness."

"You're quite astute for a man who goes out of his way to be as drunk and oblivious as possible."

The words shouldn't hurt, because Oceana knew his family criticized his drinking every time they drew breath, but for some reason he'd thought Dante might see a bit more than a drunk, spoiled noble. Well, stupid him. This was precisely why he liked to stay drunk. He lifted his cup and smiled bitterly. "You deal with your family by pretending they don't exist, Dante-don, and I deal with mine by numbing myself. It makes the lashings, verbal and otherwise, much easier to endure." He finished his wine and set the empty cup aside for the moment, focusing on the dumplings for a bit. "Anyway, I have good reason to drink today. Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes," Dante said. "I hold many, mine and others."

Finishing his dumpling, Naoki wiped his mouth and set his chopsticks aside again. "I'm getting married today. My beloved bride was most insistent it's what her mother would want, rather than us waiting and waiting as mourning and other problems invariably delay the matter. My sister Mineko has arranged it. In a few hours, I will be a husband."

"I would say omedetō, but from the lack of enthusiasm in your words, I feel I should be offering my condolences instead."

"I must sound terribly ungrateful for such an opportunity, forgive me," Naoki said.

Dante flicked the words aside. "You will get no judgement from me, not in matters of family and marriages where you get little say. I have met your elder sister and your betrothed; they seem very much the sort to make decisions and expect everyone else to obey."

"You're not wrong," Naoki said, and ate another dumpling.

Dante once more rose and went to the counter, this time leaping deftly over it. He quickly filled a plate with dumplings that were being kept warm in a stone oven, and even hunted down the spicy sauce that Naoki did not much care for, but which Dante clearly did by the amount he returned with. "Where is the old man?"

"Some old woman showed up, and they vanished into the yard behind the shop. I think they must be having some sort of affair, though I didn't think either of them could move that well anymore." Naoki shrugged, grinning a bit. "At least somebody is having a good day."

"I see," Dante said with a laugh. "My day is not so bad."

Naoki smiled, ducking his head even as he did so. "I'm glad. I will admit my day has improved somewhat, even if I'm still not looking forward to my marriage."

"Are you taking her name? Is she taking yours? Who is taking up whose household? Gomen if these are questions I should not ask."

"The criers have been asking them for weeks," Naoki said, rolling his eyes. "I am taking her name, and they are ceding other things I neither know nor care about in exchange. My father bought us a house, and her family will be buying the contents of it once we begin setting up our household." Once Selinah started setting up their household. As long as he had water for his magia and a room all to himself, Naoki didn't care if she painted the whole rest of the house bright pink with yellow stripes, and all the furniture was shaped like fish.

Dante refilled their wine and nudged Naoki's closer. "What do you get out of this arrangement? Ferro-donna sounds like she will be getting much, and the families as well, but you do not seem to be benefiting in any way, which seems unfair."

Naoki froze in the process of lifting his cup and set it back down again. "What do I get?"

"You make it sound like a strange question. Is that not how these things work? Everybody gets something out of it. The Ishikawa hardly have need of Ferro power or wealth, so that can't be it. How do you benefit personally from the marriage?"

He got to escape his parent's house. He got a place where Haru could come and visit him safely, and they would be able to breathe a bit more. When Selinah wasn't around, anyway. But one spider was better than three snakes. "No one has ever really asked me that. My duty is to marry, do my part in providing heirs, and stay out of the way."

"You are terrible at bargaining, tesoro mio," Dante said with a laugh.

Naoki's breath hitched, chest giving an unwelcome lurch, at the endearment. It meant nothing. Dante was very much the type of person to speak so floridly, throwing out endearments to everyone from his family to a late night street vendor. Endearments weren't something Naoki ever heard, though, not directed at him. It was nice, far nicer than he ever would have guessed. Tesoro mio.

He was stupid. Naoki drank more wine, ignoring his displeased stomach. He'd have to stop soon, but not quite yet, wedding and violent women be damned. "So I am told, but I prefer not to make bargains with habus and malmignattas."

Something flashed in Dante's eyes then, like light reflecting off a blade, blinding and dangerous. "You should keep in mind that such creatures rely heavily on fear to do their work for them, because once they use their poison, it takes a great deal of time before they can use it again. Push past the fear and make your demands, and you will often find they'd rather bargain than waste precious resources. But you cannot bargain if you do not even know what your demands are."

"Why do you care?" Naoki asked, pushing his wine away, stomach roiling from… too much everything.

"Forthwind calls me a fixer. Or a controlling, interfering busybody who likes to manage everyone and everything, if I've annoyed him enough."

Naoki laughed. "I see. Well, you don't have to fix me. I'm an Ishikawa, and despite what my family might say otherwise, we deserve everything that happens to us. Well, most of us. Haru is a good person, by the grace of Oceana, and so was my brother Arata. He deserved far better than the murder he received."

"That is terrible. I am very sorry for your loss, and the way you lost him."

"Dōmo, Dante-don. Enough about me, I've whined and—"

"No, we haven't sorted out what you want from the marriage. I've been presented with a problem, and I'm going to solve it. What do you want?"

For people to ask him that more often, remember he was a person too, not the ugly tool they pulled out of the shed as needed and then left forgotten on the ground until needed again. "Freedom. To be left alone, out of their machinations, to build some sort of life that is mine."

Oceana, he'd had far too much drink if he was running his mouth this much to a man he barely knew. Dante seemed to listen to him, though, those beautiful eyes so intense and focused, as if he really did care and genuinely wanted to help, when he was probably only being kind out of pity. If his parents or Mineko saw him right then, they'd remind him how to behave with a sharp slap to the face, or bruises where his clothes would hide them. He'd heard in a few places that Selinah liked to use her nails to make her points. Naoki had every faith he'd find out for certain sooner rather than later.

"Such simple requests, on the surface, but harder to obtain than many appreciate," Dante said, fingers drumming on the table. "You are the second eldest though, and easily the most beautiful of your family. I do not understand why you don't have those things already."

The words startled a laugh, loud and bitter, from Naoki. "The most beautiful? If you want people to believe your lies, Dante-don, you must make them at least somewhat believable. Even I have never been so drunk as to believe such ridiculous words. I think I have troubled you enough with my whining. Gomen that I was not better company, and I hope the rest of your day is full of good fortune." He tossed back the last of his wine, threw coins down, and rose unsteadily to his feet.

He walked off, ignoring as Dante called out to him, stepping out into the rain, mercifully cool on his alcohol-heated skin. He'd show up to the wedding falling down drunk but didn't much care. If the priest didn't like it, Mineko could pay him more.

He hadn't gone more than a few steps when Dante caught up to him and before Naoki could get a word out, dragged him into an alleyway and beneath a worn overhang that was more holes than fabric.

Naoki clung to him for balance, head spinning from the bad combination of alcohol and too much sudden movement, and not remotely helped by his raised sandals. He looked up, poised to demand what in Oceana's name Dante thought he was doing, but the intensity in his eyes, which looked more gray-green now, when before they'd seemed more brown, stopped him short. His breath hitched, and his stupid heart started racing in his chest. "What?" he finally managed, as stupidly useless as that one word was.

"I am dumbfounded that an Ishikawa would so scathingly dismiss his own beauty."

"What does it matter to you? Anyway, I'm not beautiful. Believe me, my honored stepmother drummed those delusions right out of my head."

"Your stepmother? That is who you believe? That fierce, competitive woman who probably wants all the best in the world for the daughter she birthed and hates that the son of her husband's first wife is ten times more beautiful than her children combined? Tesoro mio, you really are awful at the games your people must play to survive in your world."

That damned endearment again. Naoki wished he would stop; it was distracting.

Not distracting enough, however, to deny that Dante might have a point. Izumi would hate it if Naoki was better looking than her own children, and what better way to resolve the problem than to make him think otherwise? Haru had tried to tell him numerous times that Izumi was wrong, but he'd never listened. It had always made more sense that he was the ugly son of the wife everyone pretended had never existed.

Too many thoughts and questions rolled and tumbled through his mind, and he was far too drunk and overwhelmed to put them in order. The words that tumbled out though, wholly without his permission, were, "You really think I'm beautiful?"

For a moment, Dante's eyes seemed full of anguish, frustration, like he did not like the contents of his own head remotely, but there was nothing he could do about them. Naoki could commiserate.

Before he could ask, though, Dante bent, leaned in, and Naoki barely had time to register what was going to happen before it did, in fact, happen.

Dante was kissing him. His mouth was warm, sweet from plum wine and slightly salty from the dumplings. He kissed with the expertise of a man who'd never lacked for amorous invitations and had enjoyed each and every one. Naoki met it, matched it. When was the last time someone had kissed him? He never bothered with company that wasn't a whore or a server at one of the bars he frequented, and precious few of them had any interest in kissing.

He slid his hands from Dante's well-muscled arms up to his shoulders, and then wrapped them around his neck as Dante hauled him up and flush against his chest.

By the time they drew apart, Naoki was flushed and dizzy, cold from the rain that had now thoroughly soaked him, but burning all the same from the unexpected, shockingly ardent kiss. "What in the world?"

Dante said something Naoki couldn't understand, then abruptly pushed away and fled like a pickpocket evading guardie.

Naoki pressed the back of his hand to his lips as the cold began to seep back into his reality. He had no idea what was going on anymore, and he wasn't certain he wanted to know. Better to enjoy the kiss as just a kiss and let matters lie.

Anyway, if he didn't hurry, he was going to be late to his own wedding.

Pushing away from the wall, he made his way as quickly as he could across the islands, until he reached a rundown corner of Isola delle ossa. It took him a couple of tries, as it wasn't a section of Verona he was familiar with, but he at last found the temple: a sad, rundown, half-crumbled thing tucked back from the street and crammed between a laundry house that looked like it added dirt rather than removed it, and a dubious apothecary that probably made most of its money on backroom 'medicinal tonics' that were really just vino di papavero.

Even Naoki wasn't stupid enough to mess with that particular wine.

He hastened up the weed-ridden walkway and into the temple, shoving his sopping hair from his face as he finally got clear of the blasted rain.

"It's about time," came Mineko's strident, ringing voice. "Of course you show up drunk, a complete mess, and ten minutes late. You're completely useless, Naoki."

"Only mostly," Naoki replied.

An acolyte came bustling up, handing one faded, ragged-edged towel to Naoki and using a second to deal with the floor. Naoki removed his sandals and hastened out of the young woman's way.

"Couldn't you have some respect for the matter?" Mineko asked.

"Me? I'm not the one who insisted on this marriage not even a full day after my mother committed suicide. If you want people who treat marriage with respect, you are dealing with the wrong families."

Mineko's brows rose. "You're mouthier than usual today. Liquid courage?"

"You know that's not how I work." Naoki returned the towel to the waiting acolyte. "Where is Selinah?"

"Waiting in the sanctuary. I had a feeling you'd turn up like a soaked alley cat, so I brought a change of clothes along." She jerked her head at the washroom behind her. "Go get dressed, and hurry it up."

Naoki hastened off to do as told, sliding the washroom door closed behind him before stripping off his sodden clothes. Not that he wasn't grateful for warm, dry clothes, but did it really matter what he got married in? This farce of a wedding hardly was fit to fuss over the details.

He pulled on black leggings first, keeping them in place with black ribbons around each thigh, followed by a long-sleeved undertunic of semi-sheer black silk that fell to mid-thigh. Next, he pulled on and smoothed down the folds of the tunic Mineko had picked out—well, more likely told a servant to pick out—and fussed until it lay just right. It was sleeveless, dyed a dark, jewel-toned purple, and embroidered along the bottom and split sides with black flowers. One of his more expensive tunics, as the purple dye wasn't easy to produce. The sash was appropriately contrasting, yellow and green strips of various widths.

There wasn't much he could do about his hair, past comb it out with his fingers, braid it, and wind it into a knot that he pinned in place with the comb he'd already been using. It didn't match the rest of his outfit, but too bad.

The washroom had only a cheap, cloudy mirror that was more useless than not, but Naoki did the best he could with it to ensure he was moderately presentable. As ready as he would ever be, he finally headed out to rejoin Mineko.

"Finally," she snapped. "We should have been done already."

"Does it really matter?" Naoki asked. "It's not like we're doing anything illegal, simply tasteless and rude."

Mineko looked at him like he was a particularly stupid puppy. "When Hardegin-principe finds out, I will be more than happy to let you tell him that."

"Alright, alright, fair enough. Shall we get going then, instead of standing around yelling at me some more for something I can't change or fix at this point?"

She sighed like she was the most put upon person in Verona, grabbed his arm, and dragged him through the doors that led into the sanctuary.

Normally even a rundown, probably doing illegal things with the apothecary next door temple like this had people aplenty—the rare actual devotee, but more often homeless and other strays with nowhere else to go, and of course the usual handful of people conducting illicit business.

Mineko must have seen to it they were all thrown out before the wedding. Technically, there should be impartial witnesses, people unrelated to either family and not otherwise closely involved with them, to ensure the marriage was just and true. A problem he was happy to leave to Mineko; he certainly wasn't going to go out of his way to make the marriage legal and binding.

Selinah regarded him with the same contemptuous look Mineko had been giving him since his arrival. Honestly, they should be marrying each other; it would be better for everyone. "I see you finally deigned to show up. Get up here so we can get this done."

Naoki started to comply, but he'd barely taken a step when all that Dante had said came crashing back down over him, bringing with it the memory of a scorching kiss that had left him burned inside and out. "No."

"What do you mean no?" Selinah demanded, even as Mineko took Oceana's name in vain stridently enough to get a loudly disapproving cough from the priest, who seemed to be realizing that even large sums of money did not make some problems worth dealing with. "Did you just show up to try and be all rebellious now?"

"Of course I'll marry you," Naoki said, "but I don't think it's unfair to have some conditions of my own, after all that the two of you, and everybody else, have demanded of me without so much as pretending to ask what I think or feel."

Mineko's mean laughter filled the temple, reverberating all around, making it sound like he was being mocked by ghosts. "Are you trying to grow a spine? You're a jellyfish, and everyone here knows it, Naoki. Stop trying to be something you're not and get up here." The glint in her eyes said she was more than willing to turn violent in a house of the divine if that was what it took.

"I'm not trying to be anything but treated with some degree of fairness," Naoki said, keeping his hands where they were hidden by the folds of his tunic to hopefully hide their trembling. Jellyfish he might be, but last he checked, even Mineko fled the water when jellyfish were spotted.

Push past the fear and make your demands, and you will often find they'd rather bargain than waste precious resources.

"What, then?" Mineko asked as she stopped laughing. "Are you going to tell us what you want, or just stand there like a jellyfish caught in a tidepool?"

"I want to be left alone. I'll go through with the marriage, and I'll make certain there's an heir and a spare. I want to be allowed to have my own life, instead of spending what remains of it catering to every whim like I have so far. I don't want to be involved in your schemes and plots. Just leave me alone. I don't care what else you do, but leave me out of it."

Selinah and Mineko both looked unimpressed, but Selinah shrugged and Mineko gave a terse, "Fine. It's not as though we need you for anything, anyway, once there are children. Anything else, little brother?"

Naoki hated her. He really and truly hated her. It was easier to ignore that when he was drunk, usually, but right then he may as well be sober, the thought was so sharp and bright in his mind.

Ignoring her before he said or did something truly stupid, Naoki put all his attention and remaining courage on Selinah. "If you, or anyone else, ever hurts our children, I will kill you. I mean it. One slap, one hit, so much as a scratch, and I'll remind you why jellyfish are to be given a wide berth. Understand me?"

He must have managed the tone he wanted, because both women only stared at him, expressions carefully banked, but with something more than contempt in their eyes.

"Fine, but don't whine to me when they turn out soft, useless brats even easier to lead around than you. Now get up here before this takes any longer."

Naoki had every faith they'd eventually betray him, or simply see he accidentally drowned while out practicing one day, but for the moment, it was enough. Setting his shoulders, he climbed the steps up to the altar and took his place beside Selinah as the priest began the ceremony.