The Blood Burns in My Veins by Megan Derr

 

 

 

 

Chapter Nineteen

 

 

"When I think of you my heart beats fast, the blood burns in my veins and I can hardly breathe."

― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

 

 

Naoki had never dreaded going home—no, back to his parents' house—so much. He'd always hated it, but before he'd never left behind anything but taverns, bars, and cheap dumpling shops. Now he had to once again part ways with a man he already desperately cared about, and the promising future that was waiting for them.

Because he couldn't have it until he faced his monsters once last time.

Thankfully, doing so didn't take long. His stepmother was many things, few of them flattering, and predictable was high on that list. As he loudly arrived via the main door, she came storming from her sewing room. "There you are!"

"Here I am," Naoki replied.

"You will watch your tone with me you ungrateful, drunken wretch!" Izumi snarled, and swung out a hand to slap him.

Naoki caught it, squeezed her delicate wrist just to the point of pain. "Do not hit me. Not ever again. Do you understand me?"

"How dare—"

He squeezed tighter, and she howled so loudly that Masaru came from his private room in the back of the house. "What is going on here?"

Naoki let Izumi go. "Nothing at all. Honored Stepmother and I were having a chat."

Masaru frowned, looking between them, clearly able to sort out what had happened but only asking, "Where have you been, Naoki? It's bad enough both your sisters are missing, and now you keep taking off."

"I was out in the city trying to find them," Naoki said. "So far, I've had no luck. It's like they've simply vanished. I fear you're right in that Haru fled Verona entirely, though I'm not convinced Mineko would go to so much trouble as to chase after her."

"Your eldest sister is nothing if not unfailingly loyal to this family, which is more than I can say for you," Masaru said.

Naoki's brows rose. "I may be a useless drunk, but I've never betrayed this family, merely disappointed everyone. That's not disloyal, just annoying."

"Stop playing semantics," Izumi snapped. "You're not witty enough for it. Neither are you fit to go gallivanting about the city. You should have remained here and waited until we bid you act. If you were in fact a good and loyal son, you'd know that. Typical that you never think of anyone but yourself."

"Who else was going to think of me?" Naoki snapped. "When I grew despondent in the wake of Arata's death, who helped me through my grief? No one. When I started to drink too much, who helped me fight that battle? No one. It was just one scathing comment, one derisive remark, one cold dismissal after another. I was constantly crying for help in the only ways I knew how, and none of you, not a single damn one, did anything to help me. You just made me more miserable. You don't give a damn about your family. All you care about is what your children can gain you."

She slapped him, and this time he let her, but instead of looking pleased with herself like usual, she only looked alarmed as he stood unflinching, unmoving, and only stared coldly at her. "How dare you," she hissed. "I've given everything for this family, even with all I suffered being the second wife!"

Naoki laughed coldly. "Oh, please. My mother's ashes hadn't even reached the water before you were working your every trick and wile on Father. You couldn't work fast enough to ensure she was all but forgotten. I'll dare whatever I want."

"That is enough," Masaru said. "Naoki, what has gotten into you? This behavior isn't like you at all. Your stepmother is strict and hard on all of you, but her love and devotion to this family has never been in doubt. She is loyal and true to the Ishikawa family and name, and you will apologize for dishonoring her by saying otherwise."

"Dishonor her?" Naoki laughed again, laughed and laughed and laughed, until Izumi slapped him again. Wiping the blood from his lips with the back of his hand, he finally said, "If she's so fucking loyal and true, then why has she been having an affair with Gorvenal-giudice all these years? Hmm? Tell me that."

"Naoki!" Masaru roared, causing the water that ran throughout the house to splash up, splattering their clothes.

Izumi paled and jerked, as though she'd aborted taking an instinctive step back. "How dare you!"

"How dare I?" Naoki hadn't come home intending to go this route, but by Oceana, if this was how they wanted to be, he would have some vengeance of his own after all the years of abuse they had visited upon him. Was this how Dante had felt all those years in prison, this boiling hate and burning anger? This searing need to return all the pain they'd caused by stealing the life he should have had?

Looking at his father, Naoki said, "If you don't believe me, go to Gorvenal's home. She left some things there."

"I did n—" Izumi stopped, eyes widening as she realized her own stupid mistake.

Naoki laughed. He hadn't even intended for her to do that. Izumi was so smart. How had she made such a stupid, careless mistake? He laughed harder.

Masaru stared at Izumi so coldly that even Naoki almost recoiled. Then he stormed off past Naoki and out of the house without a single word.

"You ungrateful wretch," Izumi snarled. "How could you do something like that? I was bothering no one! It's not my fault your father is terrible in bed and prefers his young things he thinks I don't know about. The fucking hypocrisy."

Naoki laughed again. "We all know Verona thrives on its double standards. You should be thanking me, Honored Stepmother."

"Why in Oceana's name would I ever thank you for anything?"

He smiled, as cold and sharp as every smile she'd ever given him right before the beatings started. "Because all I did was tell him you're fucking Gorvenal. I could have told him that Arata was Gorvenal's child, and that you once paid a bandit to murder him so your dirty secret would never come out."

What little color she still had in her skin bled away, and she sank to the ground as though too weak to stand. Her voice was full of defeat as she said, "How did you…"

"You'll never know. If you'll pardon me now, I have plans for my day, and I'm through letting you interfere with them."

Izumi said nothing, simply stared at the floor, looking broken and lost. Nothing at all like the woman he'd spent his entire life loathing and fearing.

He headed off quickly through the house to his room, where he immediately set to packing enough clothes to last him a few days and the few personal belongings he couldn't bear to leave behind. Sadly, there wasn't much. Most of the items that had filled his room, shaped his life, he wouldn't even remember a few months from now. If that wasn't confirmation that he was doing the right thing by leaving it all behind, then what possibly could be?

Slinging his satchel over his head and across his chest, he hefted a knapsack onto the opposite shoulder. The only thing remaining in his room was a small trunk of clothes that he'd have a servant arrange to have hauled to the harbor for him.

He did that, and then went to collect the last item he wanted, the only thing that really mattered. Wending his way through the house, he went out to the family's private garden, all the way to the back where the shrine was located.

It was built roughly in a square, from stones as old as the island itself, and filled with memorial plaques for each and every Ishikawa who had lived and died in Verona.

Kneeling, he recited all the prayers—for gratitude, memory, blessing on his new path, forgiveness for not keeping to the path they had forged. How long it took him, he didn't know, but he was stiff as he rose and went to the newest and shiniest of the memorial plaques. Lifting it down, he carefully wrapped it in the sash he'd held back for just this purpose, then tucked it away in his satchel.

Wherever they went, wherever they settled, Arata would go with them.

With the very last of his tasks complete, Naoki headed back through the house to the front, but he'd only just reached the entry hall when house-shaking knocking came at the door. "Open in the name of His Imperial Majesty!"

Well, Dante had said it was likely this would happen. Naoki was married to the last remaining Ferro, a secret that must have come out by now, and the only Ishikawa sibling not missing. They were bound to have questions for him.

He set his bags aside and slid the door open, bowed to the two men standing in the yard. "Ciao, Tani-donni. I am Ishikawa Naoki, what can I do for you?"

"Your presence is required immediately at the Imperial Palace," said the nearest of the two men.

"I'll come at once, of course," Naoki said, heart thudding in his chest, less because he was worried about the meeting and more because he was drawing ever closer to that moment when he would never see Verona again.

Such a strange realization, but even stranger was the absolute relief the thought brought. He'd always hated Verona, but he hadn't realized he hated it that much. Well, no, more like he hadn't wanted to admit it. If he had, he probably would have drunk himself to literal death.

Naoki followed him outside and to the waiting horses, mounting up and riding off, barely able to keep pace with the urgency of the messenger.

Though he'd been braced for this, his stomach was still in knots as they reached the imperial manor. He barely noticed the young woman who came up to take his horse, simply followed the messenger inside, where a servant replaced him and escorted Naoki to a waiting room.

The room offered seating aplenty, but Naoki remained standing, hiding his hands in his voluminous sleeves to avoid fussing and fidgeting. Instead, he studied paintings and stared out the window, silently rehearsing what he would say, even though once he started talking every thought would fly out of his head.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long. Only half an hour or so after arriving, another servant appeared to bid him follow her.

They climbed up and up, completely ignoring the public spaces on the first and second floors, past the offices and private meeting rooms on the third floor, all the way to the fourth floor, which was for private residences only. The floor Dante had somehow managed to sneak up to, find Kumiko, and get her out again.

Dante truly was unstoppable when he set his mind to it. What would he have become without the interference of their families? Should the world be disappointed or grateful? Naoki supposed it little mattered now. Dante was what he was; there was no going back.

He bit off a shaky, half-hysterical laugh. If there was such a thing as going back in time, Dante would have remained with Arata anyway. He and Naoki would never be. Naoki could have his brother, or he could have Dante, but there was no world where he could have both. Mother Oceana was cruel and kind all in one gesture.

A gong sounded, jarring him from his thoughts. A court session had ended somewhere.

The servant came to a stop in front of the door to Hardegin's private office and knocked four times. A faint voice called out for them to enter, and the servant slid the door open before bowing low and remaining that way until Naoki stepped past her.

As the door slid shut, Naoki sank to his knees and bowed so his forehead touched the floor, hands in front of him. The woman at the desk, wearing imperial crests on her ornate silk kimono, which was itself dyed a delicate shade of light purple that only the imperial family was permitted to wear. Her skin had a pale, sun-warmed honey tone, and her brown hair was so dark it was nearly black, bound up in intricate braids and knots, decorated with elaborate jade hair pins. Long, ornate earrings dangled from her lobes, and the middle finger of each hand was covered by a gold jewel-incrusted claw, a popular affectation of the imperial court.

"Lord Naoki Ishikawa, it's good to finally see someone who might know what in the Deep is going on around here," the woman said. "Rise. Sit."

"Your Imperial Grace," Naoki replied, and moved to sit in front of the table she sat at. A beautiful tea service was arranged to her right, his left, but she did not offer him anything. He hadn't expected it.

"My nephew has been arrested, my great niece is missing, all of the Ferro are dead, save one, and as of right now, you are the last remaining Ishikawa heir."

"I'm not an Ishikawa heir, not legally," Naoki said. "I do not know if Your Imperial Grace was already informed, but Ferro Selinah-don and I were married a short time ago. Per the arrangements of the marriage contract, neither of us could inherit as heir, of our own houses or the other's. What our children could inherit, or not, was to be worked out later."

The woman smiled ever so faintly, some of the severity around her eyes easing, though she was no less beautiful no matter how severe she looked. If she referred to Hardegin as 'nephew,' that narrowed it down slightly. "You've started off honestly, which works to your favor. Continue in that vein and this meeting will go well for you. Others I've already spoken with have not been so wise."

"I will do the best I can, Your Imperial Grace."

She gave a bare nod and dipped her eyes to the single page in front of her, then looked up again. "Both your sisters have gone missing. Explain that."

Dante would lie, would find some smooth, clever way to spin everything so one ever realized the deception, not even one of the smartest persons in the whole empire. Naoki was not half so clever, and he wasn't stupid enough to try. So maybe he would make a real attempt at this honesty thing she seemed to like so much. Well, a partial attempt, anyway. "Honestly, Your Imperial Grace? One has run away to be with the 'love of her life,' and the other is dead, by my hand, after she refused to back down about the first matter. The death was not on purpose. As absurd as it sounds, we were fighting in the rain, and she slipped and fell upon my blade. She might have been saved, but insisted on yanking the sword out herself, and worsened the wound to the point there was no time to fetch a stregone. I buried her."

The woman stared at him. There were three people she could easily be, but he suspected this was, as they would say it on the continent, Lady Hinata, second daughter of the emperor's third wife. Not a principessa, but a duchessa, and highly favored by His Imperial Majesty. Her political acumen and skills at court made her a marvelous friend and a terrifying enemy, and it was rumored that the emperor's favor was so great her children would be married to prominent allies, a high honor for someone as 'low' in ranking as she technically was, not being a child of the first or second wife.

"Intriguing," Hinata replied. "I believe you. I think you are perhaps leaving out details, but you've bared the important parts. Do you know what became of Lord Acaeus Ferro?"

"Dead after an altercation with pirates."

"So he was in league with Prince Hardegin?"

"I honestly could not say, Your Imperial Grace. I know he smuggled imperial steel and papavero, and that my esteemed wife was part of it. I do not know more than that."

"You're lying."

"Some secrets and details are not mine to tell," Naoki replied. "I am being as honest I can without betraying those who trust me."

She studied him for several long minutes, her gray eyes as sharp as Ferro steel. Just as Naoki was ready to scream, she said, "Very well. I know the important parts; your little secrets do not matter overmuch. Can you tell me anything about the murder of my great niece?"

"I can tell you only that my dear baby sister ran away with the love of her life, who was beaten nearly to death by her angry father, who also threw one of her handmaids out a four-story window. Past that, I know nothing I can share."

That gained him a soft chuckle. "I'm starting to resent I do not know the full of the tale. I think I understand the rough of it, however. Thank you, Lord Naoki, you've been most useful. What are your plans going forward?"

"I would like to leave Verona. Like my sister, there is someone I would like to be with, and I cannot do that here in Verona. We are going to build a life elsewhere, all four of us and some further friends."

"Hmmm… then would you be willing to sign away all claim to your family, their properties and wealth."

"Yes, Your Imperial Grace. Could I also have my marriage nullified?"

"What if there is a child?"

"I would like to claim the child if there is one. I suspect Selinah would not want to keep them, so there should be no issue there. I can leave an address, though I beg Your Imperial Grace's indulgence in keeping it confidential. We all of us would like a clean break, and if anyone here knows where to find us…"

"I am good at keeping secrets, I assure you," she said with another chuckle. "Have you further requests? I do not promise to grant them, but I am willing to hear them."

"Only that I be allowed to take the belongings I've already packed and moved, including those being moved right now. My yacht awaits me on the continent, some of my companions having gone ahead in it. I would like to borrow Mineko's to get there myself, and I will leave it to be confiscated by Your Imperial Grace's people. If I may keep my own ship, I would be grateful, but I understand that, of course, may not be possible."

"You may keep it. His Imperial Majesty hardly needs yet another yacht, no matter how many of his vague relatives would clamor to claim it." Her eyes glittered with amusement. "You may also take Prince Hardegin's fortune that was stored here, as it rightfully belongs to someone we shall not name. Take this to the bank and the matter will be attended."

Only a lifetime of training kept Naoki from sputtering and exclaiming. They hardly needed the wealth with the ridiculous amount that Dante possessed, but he would be a fool to refuse such generosity, even if it came with a costly price tag further out to sea. "You are more than generous, Your Imperial Grace."

"Honesty is a rare and precious thing, and I reward it when I can. I believe you've been as honest as you can fairly be. You've given me a good idea of what has transpired here, and that is more than anyone else has done so far. There are papers waiting for you to sign, and then you are free. Do you know what name you will take when you are no longer an Ishikawa or Ferro?"

"I would like to be just Naoki for a little while, but I have hopes that someday I might be Amore Naoki."

Her face betrayed nothing, so it was impossible to say if she'd expected that name or was surprised by it. Naoki was exhausted just thinking about the life she must lead on the continent, all the threads and webs she must keep up with, all the games she played and observed and nudged along. It was the sort of life he'd been trained for, though on a much smaller scale, and he hated everything about it.

"Well, blessings of the Deep upon you and those you now call family. You are dismissed, Lord Naoki. Travel well and wisely."

"All the blessing of the Deep, and happy tidings to you and yours, Your Imperial Grace." He moved away from the table, bowed low again, and after several seconds rose and departed.

Two hours of paperwork later, and another few hours at the bank, and he was free. Naoki. Just Naoki. As easy as that. He'd never felt so light. So free. He laughed as he stepped out onto the street. Only a spoiled rich brat would be delighted to be free of a powerful family name that had ensured he wanted for nothing.

Except, of course, a loving family, a life without neglect and abuse, a life that would likely have ended in murder at the hand of his own wife.

He might be a spoiled brat, but he was no longer an Ishikawa brat.

Stopping at a street cart, he bought himself some squid balls and fresh melon juice before making his way on foot to the harbor.

The wind had picked up by the time he reached it, and distant clouds promised rain would strike the islands by midafternoon. Would it be a true storm, the kind that normally passed Verona by, when there was only one true Ishikawa left on the islands?

Naoki laughed. It was terrible of him, but he really didn't care. It should not be his lifelong duty to protect others from the weather. Maybe he was being selfish. He didn't care. Not right now. His ancestors had leveraged their magia to gain power and wealth, but Naoki had never agreed to those rules. One more shackle fallen away.

"What has you laughing, bello mio?"

Turning, Naoki went easily as Dante reached him and drew him, right up against that delightful body he knew so well and wanted to know better still. "I was enjoying how nice it is to feel free."

"Yes, there is nothing quite like knowing you are free. Really and truly free," Dante said softly, and kissed him. "So tell me everything."

Naoki did so, as they stood there in the harbor while the crew of his sister's ship the Faraway finished getting it ready. He nearly laughed again when he saw the crates of money and the last of his belongings carried onboard, vanishing quickly from sight as they were carried down into the hold.

Dante laughed when he was done. "You are right in that your method would never have worked for me, or even occurred to me, and my methods would not work for you. That is all to the good though, hmm?"

"All to the good," Naoki echoed. "What trouble have you been getting into?"

"Only boring things, mostly closing up accounts I'd opened, other such trifles. Amore Dante appeared from the mist and shall vanish back into it. I doubt anyone will remember me by the end of the year."

"Good, that means it's easier to keep you all to myself," Naoki replied, and drew him into another kiss. Ignoring his stupid nerves, Naoki asked, "Shall we set sail, amato?"

Dante's eyes burned at the endearment. "What did I do to earn sweet words?"

"Maybe I just wanted to see how you reacted to them, with the way they're always falling from your lips."

That got him a kiss that was absolutely not appropriate for public. He could in fact hear the whistle of the guards who patrolled the harbor.

Laughing, Dante tore away, took Naoki's hand, and dragged him away to the ship, not quite running to avoid the angry guard.

Off in the distance, thunder rolled. Aboard the ship, the captain all but shoved them into their quarters. "We should make it without incident, but stay in your cabin anyway, please."

"Yes, Captain," Dante said, as Naoki snorted in amusement. The storm might strike Verona now, but it would leave him alone. He could feel it in his blood, thrumming and pulsing. The only thing hotter than magia was Dante's touch and those eyes as he watched Naoki's face while they fucked.

He shivered, memories hot and sweet washing over him. As the captain left them, he sprawled on their bed, far nicer than the hammocks and bunks the crew would use. Mineko's private cabin was as luxurious as everything else in their life, but any joy he might have taken was stripped away with the knowledge of all the terrible things she'd probably done here.

No. She was dead. She wouldn't be hurting anyone else. He refused to let her ruin a single moment more of his life. He'd been thinking of Dante and all the delightful things they did together. He'd much rather go back to that.

As Dante settled in a nearby chair, sprawling like an indolent cat because the man couldn't seem to sit any other way, Naoki asked, "Did you mean what you said before?"

Dante's brows rose. "I said many things before. To which do you refer?"

Naoki's face heated. "About us… about…"

"Oh, that." Dante's confusion turned to that hot, smug, pleased look that from the very beginning had affected Naoki in a way even the strongest saké couldn't. "I meant every last word. We may not have time in the city, but it's a long journey from here to Esposito lands. Plenty of places for us to stop and rest, places where I can fuck you while countless eyes watch."

"Why did I ask," Naoki asked with a groan. "You're the worst. Come fix this."

Dante had already discarded his boots and was making swift work of his clothes. "As you wish, tesoro mio."