To Bleed a Crystal Bloom by Sarah A. Parker

Seated half-way down the jagged staircase carved into the cliff, I watch Cainon’s ship cut through the choppy bay while plucking immature heads off a ridge posey bush and stuffing them in a jar.

Patience has never been my virtue, and this poor plant is bearing the weight of that.

I’m frustrated, restless ...

I need to see my best friend, but I can’t do that while Cainon’s distant regard is heating my face and working hands, as if he can’t bring himself to look away. He’s standing on the bow of the slim boat—a tall, imposing figure, spyglass pointing my way.

Can he see the agitated bounce of my knee, or how I’m tearing at this bush so violently my fingers are red and sore?

I glance at the lone ship still parked at the end of the pier, deflated sail spun around its mast.

Waiting for me.

Two days ...

“So dramatic,” I mutter, ripping a few more buds, putting a little extra bite into the motion. I don’t usually take the posies until they’re in full bloom, but that won’t happen for at least another month.

I’ll be gone by then.

Once the bush is bare, I close the jar, watching the grand Bahari vessel edge toward that line I’ve never swum across, strung between two points of the large, rocky bay. Not a physical line, but in my mind it’s so concrete that part of me expects Cainon’s ship to smash against it and sink.

It doesn’t, of course.

The bay spits the vessel into the open sea, blue sail bloated and boasting gold trimmings that stand out against the gloom. That regard peels away, and I draw a full breath for the first time since I started climbing down these stairs.

The bulbous, gray clouds rumble as I unravel the braid Cainon so meticulously plaited, studying his cupla.

The deep blue stone marbled with threads of gold sits snug around my wrist, held in place by a gilded chain that pinches the two ends together. Small grooves line one side of the stone, evidence of its separation from Cainon’s half.

It’s frowned upon to remove them—an age-old custom that casts back thousands of years. So long as you’re coupled, a female is supposed to wear these things until the day she dies ...

With a shrug, I unlatch the chain, then stuff the thing in my bag and stand.

I’m not ready to tell Kai everything—to drag my topside troubles into the depths of our friendship—but I’m desperate to see him. To fall into him and to feed off his banquet of comfort.

Wind whips at my trailing hair while I leap down the stairs toward the bay below, landing ankle-deep in pitch-black sand. I close my eyes, allowing the pull of the ground to soothe my internal discord ... at least until a husky voice saws through my internal reverie.

Tug those roots out. Cut them off if you have to. This is not the right place for you.

Eyes popping open, I tip my head and sigh.

Well, Cainon. That’s easier said than done.

I lump my knapsack atop a jagged rock, then jog toward the boisterous waves so reminiscent of my current circumstances—whisking in fast, unrhythmic motions that show no promise of letting up. Fully clothed, I charge through the sand into icy water that shocks my lungs still.

The ocean bed drops away instantly, and I lift my feet and swim, taking lashing after lashing of frothy whitewash that dwarfs me in both size and power. It pulls me, bullies me, shoves up my nose and makes the back of my eyes sting. It tears at my hair and fake skin and tangles me with kelp, but I keep swimming ...

These waves remind me of the psychological beatings Rhordyn dishes me, because like these waves, he just doesn’t stop.

He’s unrelenting. Unapologetic. So callous in his punishments that I barely have a chance to catch my breath. And to dish such a brutal blow when I was already struggling to float?

Asshole.

I beat the waves with my hands and feet, giving them just as much as they’re giving me, while still getting tossed about as if I’m nothing more than a piece of weed.

I’m reminded of summer swims when I was small—when the crystal-clear water was warm, gently lapping at obsidian sand. The only other noises were the calling gulls and Kai’s robust laughter.

Now the ocean is roaring at me, and I want to scream back and tell it to stop.

Please stop.

Just make it past the breakers ... that’s all I have to do. Once I’m there, the sea will calm and I’ll finally be able to pause.

Take a deep breath.

Recover a little ...

I swim and swim and swim, getting pushed back with every wave, feeling like I’m making no progress. But then the ocean calms, and I’m cutting through with ease.

Realizing I’ve made it through the breakers, I stop and spin, wiping at my stinging eyes and battling for breath, shoulders burning and body numb from the cold.

Euphoria blooms when I see I’ve swum further than I ever have on my own—almost half-way to my Safety Line.

The current begins to pull me backward, and a thundering roar flays me with a blade of fear.

I whirl.

My mouth drops open, eyes going wide ...

“Fuck.”

I didn’t make it past the breakers at all.

Not even close.

I’m smack in the middle, being charged by a wave taller than the ancient trees in Vateshram Forest.

I arc my neck to see the peak peeling down like a mammoth sea monster eyeing me up for a killing strike ...

I’m going to die.

I’m drawing a breath that’ll likely be my last, when a powerful force of silky brawn and glinting scales surges through the face of the wave and wraps me in a firm embrace—one hand cradling my head and urging me into the crook of his neck.

My breath pushes out in the form of a whimper, and I wrap my legs around Kai’s trim hips.

A split-second later, the wave crashes down on us like a rockslide, and we’re ripped into by its frothing maw. Clinging to each other, we tumble over and over and over until I have no idea which way is up.

Which way is down.

We’re jerked and jerked, as if we’re caught in the hand of a violent fist testing how much our bones can yield without snapping.

My head feels like it might pop, and my ears burst in an explosion of pain.

I fight the urge to open my mouth and scream—resist the temptation to draw an ill-fated breath. But then we’re surging forward, Kai’s powerful tail propelling us through the darkness and into the light.

Thud-ump.

Thud-ump.

Thud-ump.

My lungs burn, muscles bunching ...

We break the surface and I draw a gasping breath, reviving myself with big gulps of Kai’s scent. He bangs my back, forcing me to cough and splutter and heave against his chest until I’m certain I’m going to cough up a lung.

“Treasure? Are you okay?”

“I’ll live,” I rasp, and he cradles me closer, keeping us afloat with the gentle back and forth of his hips.

Glancing around, I realize we’re well past the breakers, though the surface is still choppy enough to splash. The wind out this far is biting cold, and I shiver, teeth chattering, mind still whirling from the wave’s twisting might.

I nuzzle Kai’s neck again, letting my spent body wilt. Partially because I want to leech off his warmth ... mainly because I’m worried what he’ll see if he looks at me.

Will he notice my mask? Now that I know it’s there, it feels so blatantly obvious. Like it’s cracking in places, exposing who I am beneath.

The luster.

The ugly.

I just want to pretend everything’s okay. Like I’m not destined for that boat moored to the brittle dock just beyond my Safety Line, taunting me with its bobbing presence. I want to pretend I don’t have a blue and gold cupla hidden in my bag on the shore.

Kai threads a hand into my hair and grips tight. “You should not have come out this far by yourself, Orlaith. You know it’s not safe.”

I’m in too deep. It felt appropriate.

I almost say it aloud, but I don’t want to drag him down, too.

“I just needed to swim ...”

“In this weather?”

I close my eyes and shrug.

His chest vibrates, as if some great beast is trapped within its confines, shaking the bars of his ribs.

“You’re smarter than that. Who knows what could have snatched you up?”

“Perhaps that’s what I wanted?” My reply is instant.

Tooinstant.

He tugs my hair, forcing my chin high. “Open your eyes, Orlaith.”

A command laced with a powerful undertow impossible to deny.

My lashes sweep up and I peer into wild, seagrass eyes spilling so much wrath I almost flinch. But the moment our stares tangle, all that anger melts off his face, replaced by such a tender regard it stings the back of my eyes with a thousand pins.

“What’s wrong?”

The question probes my soul, making me shudder.

I love that he asks; that he cares enough to do it.

Not that it makes me want to answer.

He loosens his grip on my hair, and I tuck myself against his chest again. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

His lips skim up my neck, and he plants the next words straight in the shell of my ear. “Your lies don’t work on me, Treasure.”

I’m warmed by his gentle approach to my fib, like he’s chastising me in a loving way.

Still ... I pull deep draws of his salty scent rather than validate the statement with an answer. For not the first time, I wish I had gills so I could slip into his safety net forever. Wish there were some tonic I could take to wipe my memory, my emotions, and dissolve this crushing sense of obligation.

“I know.”

I dig my nose closer to his neck and breathe, his beat pushing against every inch of me, as if I’m deep inside the throbbing heart of the ocean.

“Then what is it?” he asks into the crook of my neck. “Gift me all your problems, Treasure. I’ll toss them in my trash trove.”

I tug back, seeing his handsome, heavy-lidded regard. “You have a trash trove?”

He shrugs a shoulder, lips curling into a half smile that flashes the sharp tip of his canine. “Anything for you.”

His grin is infectious, and I fold forward, wishing I could stay right here forever.

But the moment I close my eyes, those shadows rear up, and every drop of happiness falls right off my face.

“I don’t want to lose you,” I say past the lump in my throat.

I swear the ocean calms a little, like it’s listening in.

A long pause, and then; “I’m not going anywhere, Treasure.”

I bite down on a sob. Maybe he’s not ...

But I am.