Bodyguard by Melanie Shawn

20

Gage

After a dayof making plans with Bear, I was tired. I couldn’t deny it. And now, secured in Bear’s fortress, I could really rest. I didn’t have to be quite as on guard.

Although I knew in my heart that a big part of me was not going to relax until this situation was resolved and Savannah was safe, here in the bunker I didn’t have to dial it up to eleven.

Still. That didn’t mean we’d be sleeping in separate rooms. I wasn’t letting her out of my sight. Even if that sight was temporarily blocked by closed eyelids because I was sleeping.

Savannah ducked into the bathroom and changed into the tank top and shorts she’d bought as pajamas.

While she was in there, I pulled off my jeans, leaving me in my boxer briefs and T-shirt. I still laid on top of the covers. Some habits weren’t breakable, and there was no way I’d be able to get to sleep under the oppression of the sheets and blankets. My brain would be consumed with all the scenarios that could end in disaster. All the ways things could go wrong.

The same reason I didn’t turn out the lights. Darkness put us in a position that was too vulnerable. Even in Bear’s impenetrable fortress, I wouldn’t risk it. Nothing was truly impenetrable.

Savannah stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in the shorts and tank, her hair in a braid down her back.

Damn. She didn't look much older than she had when we were teenagers.

My chest constricted and for a long moment, I could barely breathe.

She crossed to the bed and tucked herself between the covers. A repeat of our positions at the motel.

Like at the motel, she didn’t drift off to sleep. She was restless. Finally, she turned over toward me and opened her eyes. She stared at me with that laser stare she’d always had. The one that always made me melt. The one that always made me do whatever she asked.

“Can I ask you a favor?” she said softly, then laughed. “I mean, I get that we’re in the middle of you doing me the hugest favor in the history of the world. But can I ask you for another one?”

“You can ask me for anything,” I said honestly.

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she cast her gaze down quickly. She obviously didn’t want me to see that my words had made her emotional, so I didn’t say anything.

She took a moment to compose herself, then continued. “Okay. Thanks. It’s just...at the motel, it helped me sleep so much when you held my hand. Would you—”

“You want me to hold your hand?” I’d already done that the night before, I couldn’t see why she was having such a hard time working up to asking me.

“No,” she whispered. “I was thinking more along the lines of...would you hold me? I just...that would feel really nice. If you would hold me.”

My throat closed. I had to swallow hard before I could get the words out. Well, word, anyway. “Yes.”

She exhaled hard, and I was surprised to realize she must have been holding her breath, waiting on my answer.

She scrambled out from beneath the covers and snuggled up to me, fitting herself against my body and nestling her head in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me.

Fuck. There’d been so many nights when we were kids that we’d held each other just like this. In my car, on her couch...and we’d talked for hours about what the future held for us.

All of the wild guesses we’d tossed out, and we’d never even once come close to what reality would actually bring.

Having her back in my arms now...it felt like home.

I rubbed little circles into the small of her back with my thumb. I remembered how much she loved that. She sighed contentedly and snuggled in even closer.

“Can I ask you something?” she said, and her voice was companionable. It held an old intimacy that I recognized from our history, but hadn’t heard again until now.

“Of course.”

“Why did you become a bodyguard? Most people, from what I gather, get into the profession after a career in the military or law enforcement. Not you. You started building your skills and training immediately out of high school.”

I knew where she’d gotten that information. That goddamn interview. I hadn’t wanted to give it, but the company I was working for at the time had insisted. It never even occurred to me that Savannah might see it.

I thought about giving her a bullshit answer. One that would satisfy the question but not give away the real truth of the matter.

But I was done with that. I was done with pretending, done with running. We were in a precarious situation. Our odds of survival were tenuous at best. If I couldn’t be honest with her now, when would I be?

“Because when you needed me to protect you most, I wasn’t capable. I wasn’t even there. I swore that I would never be caught off-guard again. That no one who needed me, needed my protection, would ever be unsafe on my watch. And they haven’t.”

“Oh,” she breathed. I could feel her heart beating fast in her chest, fluttering against my side.

Then, her touch so light I could barely feel it at first, she slid her hand under my T-shirt, her fingers exploring the ridges of my abs as she softly kissed my neck.

My dick hardened instantly. I thought about pushing her away. Telling her that I needed to stay alert in case there was a threat. But we would both know that was bullshit. No one was getting past Bear’s defenses, and definitely not without some serious warning.

The real truth was, I didn’t want to risk my heart. It had been all but destroyed when I’d lost her the first time. What if I lost her again? What would that do to me?

Then I realized—that wasn’t going to happen. Because I was going to fucking well die before I let it. So it really and truly didn’t matter. In the future, I was either going to be with Savannah, or I was going to be dead. In either scenario, there would be no adverse consequences for making love to Savannah tonight. There was only upside.

With that thought fresh in my mind, I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, moving them gently at first, then with increased passion as my heart rate sped up.

She moaned low in her throat. My dick twitched at the sound.

I needed her. I knew that now. I wasn't sure how I had thought that I was going to get through this without ever kissing her, or touching her, or being inside her. That had been insanity. Or at least denial.

I slid my hand up under her tank top, feeling the warm silky smoothness of her skin.

My head spun. This felt like a dream. Far too surreal and amazing to be real.

Hell, for all I knew, maybe this was a dream. Maybe it all was, everything that had happened since that knock had woken me up in the middle of the night. Maybe I’d gotten shot while protecting someone, and I was in a coma, or this was all some kind of fevered Jacob’s Ladder scenario.

There was nothing I could do about it if that were the case, though. Nothing but enjoy it, anyway. And that was exactly what I planned to do.