Obsessed by Ever Lilac

 

 

 

8

 

 

Stanmore

 

We’re standing in the hallway, my hands on Amber’s princely ass, my tongue grazing her teeth, the walls of her mouth and she’s pushed up against the wall, her one leg curling around my hip, the lower part of our bodies locked.

Her eyes are darkened from liner, her mouth painted a deep red that drives me crazy and her smell is so soft and sultry, I want to lick, drink and eat her.

I need more from her. Now...

When the doorbell rings, I let out a stream of furious curses under my breath, making Amber snigger. She’s wearing high heels, causing her mouthwatering curves to look even more appetizing.

“They’re here,” she says, throwing me a side-eye. “Behave.”

“Always.”

Saying that, I have no idea that a couple of hours later she will know just how false those words are.

Shoving the front door open, Amber lets out a squeak. “Gautier!” She jumps and hugs a man, a couple of years older than me, wearing dark clothes and thick framed glasses.

He pats her awkwardly on the back, throwing me a tight glance and I straighten. This is her brother. He’s allowed to touch her. My fists clench. This is her brother.

“I was just telling your handsome brother what a weird name he has,” Gina says. She has dyed red hair, wearing a too tight suit and her I’m familiar with because I’ve seen her with Amber before. She cheek kisses Amber, glancing at me curiously.

“What about my sister?” Amber says. “Her name is Rischa. And then our parents named me Amber.”

Gina nods. “Almost like they knew you could always end up twerking a pole if your career goes to hell.”

Amber laughs, glancing at me and I can hear the emptiness in the sound. That insensitive bitch just insulted her and I put my hand on Amber’s lower back and she gratefully looks up at me.

“This is Stanmore, by the way,” she murmurs, “my..um...”

“You can say it, all mine,” I answer, enjoying the expression on their faces and the sight of Amber’s pink cheeks.” I’m her boyfriend.”

“Of course.” Gina’s eyes narrow and she looks me up and down. “So you’re the mysterious stranger who’s nestled himself into Amber’s life?”

“Be nice,” Amber says, shaking her head and Gautier reaches his hand out.

“Pleasure, Stan.”

His hand crushes against mine and inwardly I grin, crushing back and his face pales. I smile, showing my teeth.

“It’s Stanmore.”

With a nervous laugh, Amber grabs her purse and steps over the threshold, clearing her throat. “All right then. Let’s go shall we?”

We’ve already booked tables at a restaurant, because apparently it’s a tradition before a concert. I’d rather not be here. I’d rather just have Amber away from everyone else because I’m stingy with her. Selfish.

“I always feel so scattered before I’m about to play,” Amber twitters, pressing her lips that are still swollen from my treatment. “I feel like food helps.”

An orgasm would probably help too. It would have been cheaper had she just asked me to fuck her senseless.

My shaft is straining in my pants as we sit down and Gina tries to get Amber to sit on her side but I clamp down on Amber’s thigh, keeping her in place and Amber’s eyes flare.

“I’m f...fine where I am,” she stutters. She’s more than fine. She’s in the only place where she belongs.

Both Gautier’s and Gina’s eyes tighten.

I ignore them. Amber pretends to be doing the same.

The restaurant is a big one, windows everywhere, bright lights and frenzied waiters running around and I like none of the food on the menu. Too intricate and not spicy enough.

“Tell me Stanmore, since my sister doesn’t tell me anything,” Gautier says, putting the linen napkin into his lap when we get our orders. “How long have you known Amber?”

A little over six months.

“A couple of days,” I answer and Gautier lets out a cough.

“That’s unnerving,” Gina says, waving her fork around. “You already seem way too serious with each other.”

“We are. Dead serious,” I answer, earning a pissy glance from Amber’s brother.

“We live together don’t we?” Amber smiles, making my heart clench. But I like her private smiles more. The ones she gives me in secret, when nobody but me is watching.

“What do you do for a living, Stanmore?” Gautier pushes his glasses up. “Are you a musician too?”

“Does he look like a musician?” Gina laughs, already getting tipsy but her eyes coat with lust when they land on me.

“I’m a mason,” I answer and they both stop eating, staring at me.

“Yum, this is so good, isn’t it?” Amber says anxiously, poking her food and her eyes go to them and then back to me. I wink at her, making her burst out into an unexpected giggle, before she abruptly stops laughing, the energy turning tense again.

“I see,” Gautier says, looking like he’s closet horrified and Gina snorts.

“That’s so old fashioned...ouch!” She throws a rabid look at Amber and I figure she kicked her manager under the table. Violent for me. My lips twitch. Sweet girl.

When we finish with dinner, Gautier decides to get up and order us some drinks and desserts before we leave. Gina glares at me, then at Amber.

“Keep me company while I smoke?” she says, holding up her purse and Amber pinches her lips, looking up at me and Gina laughs. “What? Does he have to give you green light?”

Annoyance twists in me, turning into anger when Amber bends her head down as if hurt by the comment.

“Of course not.” Moving forward she brushes her lips against my cheekbone. “Miss me while I’m gone?”

Do I ever not do that?

“Oh for fuc...” Gina snarls, pulling at Amber, “let’s just go. Don’t tell me you can’t be apart for five freaking minutes?”

Throwing me an excusing glance, Amber lets herself be dragged away and I silently brush my fingers alongside her arm, my fingertips sliding down the skirt of her dress.

She’s not even out of the restaurant yet and my longing for her already slices me. When she’s out, I throw an eye on Gautier who’s still pressing by the bar and then I get up and follow them.

They’re at the back, standing on the parking lot and I don’t pass the corner, making sure to stay hidden by the building. I don’t like Gina. The condescending way she looks at Amber. The condescending way she talks to her.

More importantly she dislikes me back and I don’t want her to put any ideas in Amber’s head. If she tells her anything that makes Amber pull away...

“You’re unhealthy,” I hear Gina say and then a lighter flicks.

“Look who’s talking, and I’m not unhealthy. I take my gummy bears every day.”

“You know what I mean. That man in there...you need to stay away from him.”

My fists curl, fingers digging into my palms. Nobody keeps her from me.

“Stan? I don’t want to stay away from him,” Amber says so firmly that she makes me proud. “He’s good for me, takes care of me.” Amber pauses. “And...I think he’s helped make my music a little bit sexier.”

“You know what’s not sexy?” Gina snorts. “That dress you’re wearing... too formal.”

“Stan likes it.”

“Are you freaking kidding me?”

“What? I’m not a bad person because I like to make him happy. And what about you, wearing those heels only because Roger likes them.”

“I don’t wear them because Roger likes them. I wear them because it’s the only time he’ll bone me.”

Amber lets out a hearty laugh.

“And don’t compare Roger to that man in there. He’s a different kind. The way he looks at you, talks to you. The way he calls you all mine. Gave me the creeps.”

She’s right, I am a different kind.

“Oh, stop it...” Amber purrs, “why do you care so much about my love life anyway?”

“Because I expect to be making a lot of money off of you, sweetheart,” Gina says in a syrupy voice. “And I need to look out for my asset.”

Not anymore you won’t.

“You’re heartless, G,” Amber teases, “and how about you mind your own beeswax from now on?”

“When you start dating a man whose name doesn’t spell Satan if you add an a, I will...”

I leave. I’ve heard what I needed to hear and I’m sitting at the table again, before Gaudier comes back. Amber breathlessly gives me a kiss on the lips, when she scoots next to me, earning two disproving glances.

I’m immune. But I don’t want them to cause any distress to Amber.

We finish our drinks and desserts, asking for the check.

Gautier clears his throat. “I’ll handle this,” he says, cynically glancing at my blazer but I stop him.

“Let me. I insist.”

 

****

 

The concert is held in one of the local, smaller concert halls. At the entrance, Amber is all jittery and I try to comfort her, touch her, whisper encouraging words but it’s not working. It makes me feel worthless when she’s not responding, her eyes glassy and her cheeks have paled.

I can’t have her feeling like this and I’m frowning so hard that people make an effort to stay out of my way. They should. I don’t want their clothes nudging against Amber’s body, want none of the fibers from their fabrics on her.

I don’t even like her being in the same space as other people. But I don’t let her know anything about it. She doesn’t need my shit tonight. Tonight it’s all about her. Then again in my world it’s always about her.

“Okay you ready?” Gina says in Amber’s ear but so loud I want to shove her away for probably bursting Amber’s eardrum. “Head clear, nerves steady...wait, why do you look like you’re about to hurl?”

“Because I am. Look who’s standing in the corner.”

She nudges her chin in the direction of a middle aged man, with wavy hair.

“It’s Davidos,” Amber says anxiously. “I thought Hermann was the one coming tonight.”

“Hermann is in Vienna,” Gina replies. “You’re just going to have to suck it up...”

Shaking her head in distress as if she’s had it, Amber runs away and when I reach for her, she rejects me. It stabs me in a part so deep inside of me that I nearly stagger.

But I’m not letting her get away this easily.

“Hey, what’s going on with your eyes...?” I hear Gina say behind me but I ignore her, making my way through the crowd to get to Amber. She runs into the ladies, her dark hair flying behind her and I’m on her like a shadow.

When I walk inside, she’s standing by the sink, splashing her face with cold water and her mouth tightens when she sees me. It’s not a look that I want. I want her eyes to light up. Not look like she wants space.

“Stan, I need some time alone...”

“The fuck you do,” I growl and she twitches. “What the hell happened just now?” If she thinks I’m going to allow some asshole put this much doubt in her, she’s wrong. Nobody puts doubt in her. Nobody makes her feel like she’s not good enough. Not while I’m around.

“Please, I just want to be on my own...”

“Tell me what to do.”

“You can’t do anything,” she says, a little exasperated.

“I need to do something,” I snarl, stabbing my hair with my fingers and a strange panic spreads in my head.

Drying her face carefully, Amber shrugs, picking up a mascara from her purse. “That man...Davidos. He represents one of the record labels, I want to sign me. But he’s the worst. Cruel. And if I mess up even a little he lets every other record label know.”

“You want me to get rid of him?”

She startles, stopping with the mascara in the air and her mouth opens in shock. A second later she gives me a wide smile. “You almost had me there, you know that? I thought you were serious.”

I am.

But judging by the look on her face I guess she doesn’t want me to do it then.

Brushing my knuckles down her spine, I murmur in her ear, “Are you going to go back out there?”

Her lip trembles, before she bites it. “I have to. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Disappoint me? That’s what she’s worried about? Me? When I’m nothing compared to her. When I’m twisted and she’s all good?

Clasping her face in my hands, I murmur, “You could never disappoint me. Not like that. The only way you can disappoint me is when you don’t let me near you. When you pushed your hand away...” I straighten, “it hurt.”

“I never want to hurt you,” she whispers and she’s all mine again. She makes me weak inside, stops my heart then starts it right up again.

“I know,” I answer because there can be no pain between us. I kiss her lids, the tip of her nose and her mouth. Her pretty, trembling mouth. “Just don’t do it again.”

Our fingers are interlocked as we walk out and Amber looks less pale. I don’t want to let go, but she’s about to go up on stage. She throws me a look over her shoulder as she does and I go and take my seat next to Gina and Gautier.

On stage, Amber takes her position and in the dark our eyes find each other. I know she can see me and she starts playing, never breaking our contact. And I feel her. I feel her everywhere. And I know she feels me.

Everybody else disappears. It’s just me and her. It will always be only the two of us. I will never let anyone break us apart. Not even me and not even her.

“Well, well,” Gina says once the concert is finished and we’re all clapping, “not bad.”

She was more than not bad, she was...

“Amazing,” I say when Amber walks down the stage and using my frame I block both Gina and Gautier from getting to her. I wrap her up in a hug, lifting her a little off the ground and she lets out a short squeak.

“Really?” she breathes, looking up at me. “You’re not just saying that?”

Gina shoves her elbow into my side, trampling all over Amber’s personal space. Gautier does the same but more stiffly. Their conversation is a mix of halfhearted praise and criticism and Amber listens carefully, but her eyes keep going to me.

With my hands in my pockets, I nod at her. Wanting her to know how supported she is. How important. I’ll always let her use me. She can use me as her mental crutch, her fuck toy...anything she wants.

Her lips pull into a smile and my eyes warm, my heart expanding when someone behind me says,

“Do you mind?”

I tense, realizing it was him Amber was smiling at and for a second everything goes silent. No sound in my ears except for a buzzing and I get a metallic taste in my mouth.

“Davidos,” Gina grins pushing him over to stand next to Amber and that buzzing turns louder. “We were hoping you would be here.”

“What did you think of Amber’s performance?” Gautier asks, glancing at me and he frowns before turning his attention back to the group.

“A little edgier than usual no?” Davidos answers, looking at Amber and my fists clench and my neck starts to strain.

“That’s good, right?” Amber says and she’s not looking at me anymore. Her attention, her eyes, her lips, her body are not turned my way.

It makes me want to fuck her until she screams and begs and pleads.

And it makes me want to kill him, then bury him six feet underground myself.

“Ah yes, it is very, very good,” Davidos grins, his disgusting face splitting along with his smile. That clawing in my chest starts up again. I need to get her away from him.

“Amber, let’s go get you hydrated,” I say, my voice not sounding like my own and I inhale, feeling like there’s no oxygen in this place. She looks at me in surprise, then discreetly shakes her head, turning her attention to Davidos again.

She’s not allowed to do that. I need her attention to be on me, not another man. Look at me. Look at me. Fucking, look at me!

“Amber,” I say again, tugging at my collar. She gives me a pleading glance and I’m close to just throw her over my shoulder and march right out with her, no matter how much she protests.

“Please Stan...not right now.”

Three pair of eyes turn toward me and they’re perplexed.

“Who is he?” Davidos asks, pointing at me, his fingers covered in rings.

“Amber’s guard dog apparently,” Gina snorts. “Never mind about him, so about what you were saying?”

“Ah yes...” Davidos muses but I don’t hear the rest. I’m watching Amber and she’s not watching me back. First she slapped her hand away when I reached for her and now she’s standing far too close to another man.

Her eyes are interested. Like her careers is important to her. More important to her than you ever will be.

Blood starts pounding in my ears. The clawing turns brutal. Paining me.

“Of coure,” Davidos continues, “there is room for improvements.” His eyes go to Amber’s mouth. The mouth that I kiss. “But I could always help you with those...”

He reaches around her waist and...I snap.

One minute he’s standing upright and the next, I’ve grabbed him by the throat, shoved him to the ground and I pound his face with fist after fist, my knuckles whitening and his features go bloody.

“You dare to touch what’s mine!” I growl, unaware of the screams, that the lights have been turned on and that nobody is talking anymore. He’s limp in my grip, too weak to even try to defend himself. The rage doesn’t diminish, it increases until I feel a trembling hand on my shoulder.

I know that touch. I live for that touch.

Whipping my head to the side, my eyes lock on Amber’s and they are filled with tears. Her face is shocked, like she never expected something like this out of me.

“Stan...stop. Let him go. You can’t do this...”

I straighten, still holding Davidos by his one thousand dollar shirt and my breaths are ragged. “Help me stop,” I say between my teeth, “tell me you’re mine.”

Her mouth trembles. “I’m yours.”

But it sounds like a lie.

“Let’s just l...leave,” she says, tugging at me but then she doesn’t even wait for me, running toward the exit on her own and I follow.

Its night out, the sky starless because we’re in the middle of the city. Little clouds of breath pant out of her mouth when I reach for her wrist, trying to get her to look at me.

But she doesn’t want to look at me and she doesn’t want to hold my hand. Her head is down, her mouth tense and when she glances at me, her eyes glaze over me. Like I’m a stranger.

It doesn’t have to be like this. I didn’t let her down. There are other record labels. She doesn’t need that fucker or his services.

“I’ll just go and say goodbye to Gautier and Gina,” she murmurs, walking over to them as they’re about to get into their cars.

They talk for a while, but they keep looking at me and they’re looking at me like I’m some beast who’s going to ravage an innocent angel. At one point Gautier grabs Amber’s shoulders, shaking her. Her hair flies around her delicate shoulder blades and she looks upset, like she doesn’t like what he’s saying.

My fists clench. That buzzing coming back.

Amber brushes Gautier off, coming back to me and I try to catch her eyes, try to force back that connection between us but she’s holding it out of my reach. She shouldn’t. When she gives me what I want, it tames me.

When she doesn’t, it makes me feral.

“Bye guys,” she calls. “Love you G. Love you, brother.”

Cut. Cut.

Lifting her chin, her face is apprehensive, like I’m not her perfect Stan anymore.

Fuck, I crossed a line tonight. I messed up. Bad...