Claimed By the Horde King by Zoey Draven

Chapter Forty-Two

There were two things I knew for certain.

The first was that I still loved Seerin. I’d never stopped, even when I’d wanted to hate him. I’d tried to numb my feelings for him, to push them deep down until they were completely buried, but they’d always had a way of floating back up to the surface when my guard was down.

The second was that it disturbed me he would give up the horde to save our relationship and our future together. It disturbed me greatly because I knew he spoke the truth. Seerin loved his horde. He loved being Vorakkar. It was what he was meant to do. He’d told me long ago that he had great plans for the horde and was determined to see them through.

Which was why it made everything in me rebel at the thought of him leaving…for me.

It was the afternoon, two days after Seerin had offered to give up the horde. I’d seen him briefly yesterday in the training grounds as I left the mitri’s workshop. Now that the thaw was coming and the temperatures weren’t nearly as frigid, training had resumed for the warriors. Our eyes had connected briefly. He hadn’t been fighting, but rather watching along the far fence of the enclosure, but I had captured his attention entirely.

Seeing him among his warriors reminded me of the first time I’d seen him in my village. He’d drawn eyes. He drew attention because he was simply a commanding presence. And it wasn’t his size, his broadness, his strength—though those certainly added to it—it was the way he held himself apart from his horde. He was a leader—one that had been born and made. He couldn’t be on the same level as the members of Rath Tuviri. In order to best serve them, he had to detach.

It made me realize that he’d done the same to me. He’d detached from me because he thought it would best serve his horde…because he was a leader. He had to be. He didn’t have the luxury of being selfish because he had to think of families, of warriors, of elders, of children.

He was a Vorakkar. It was marked into his skin, though I thought it was etched into his very bones, deep and permanent and lasting.

I didn’t envy him his power, his responsibility. But he didn’t need my envy. He only sought my support.

That afternoon, I roamed the encampment after working with the mitri. My hands throbbed from hammering Dakkari steel over the anvil for most of the morning. He was teaching me the proper techniques for working with blades and I was cooling off from the heat of the voliki before I made my way to Avuli’s.

I saw him as I walked towards the pyroki pen—Seerin’s pujerak. He was speaking with a female, who I knew to be his mate. She worked in the common bathing voliki and though she didn’t speak the universal language, she’d always been pleasant towards me and greeted me every day, despite how much her mate detested me.

They seemed to be arguing about something just outside their voliki. His brows were drawn together, the bright cold season sun shining across his face, and her cheeks were flushed in anger. She said something and then stormed into their home, leaving him to stand outside.

There were others roaming about, shooting him curious looks, but it was me that his eyes found after a moment.

There was something I’d often wondered about in the past month and I knew he had the answer. I didn’t know if he would give it to me, but I didn’t have a lot to lose in trying.

I went to him and asked, “Can I speak with you a moment?”

His ever-present frown was in place. I thought that he was a handsome male. Not nearly as handsome as Seerin, but I thought if he didn’t scowl so much, he would be very appealing. His mate obviously thought so, though perhaps not quite at that moment since they’d been arguing.

He didn’t reply, but I still turned regardless, walking towards the pyroki enclosure. I liked to watch them in their nests, though my regular presence often irritated the mrikro, the pyroki master. Then again, he was a cranky older male, who seemed irritated at most members of the horde, not just me. He loved the pyroki most of all.

I heard the pujerak’s footsteps after a moment of hesitation and when I reached the fence of the enclosure, I saw he was only a few paces behind me.

“Neffar?” he growled, his mood already soured from his argument with his female.

Pressing my lips tight, I looked at him carefully. He’d never liked me, even back at the village. It was him I’d spoken to first, not Seerin, that day the horde had come for me.

“What did you talk about at the council meeting that night?” I asked.

His eyes flared. He knew which council meeting I spoke of. The one where everything had changed. Seerin’s mood that night when he’d returned to the voliki, and in the morning before he’d ended us, had been so…strange. I often thought about that and I wondered what had been said that would make him so changed. The change in him had been like night and day.

“The council’s business is private and—”

“I need to know,” I said, looking up into his eyes, unflinchingly. Determination pulsed in my veins. “Please.”

His nostrils flared with a sharp breath and his features squeezed in an expression that I thought looked like…shame? But why?

After a long, tense pause, he finally murmured, “That night, we threatened to leave the horde.”

I inhaled a quick breath, stunned.

“Who?” I asked. “All of you?”

“The three elders on the council, the head warrior…and myself.”

“You threatened to leave?” I rasped, disbelief spinning in my mind. I reached out a hand to steady myself on the pyroki enclosure. “But your Seerin’s…you’re his closest friend. He loves you.”

I was in such shock that I didn’t even realize I’d used Seerin’s given name until the pujerak’s lips pressed together.

“I am his friend,” he said. “Or at least I was. I betrayed his trust with my bluff.”

So, he’d never meant to leave. It was only a manipulative ruse to get Seerin to end his relationship with me. It had worked too…until it backfired.

“He’s barely spoken to me since,” he said softly, his eyes shifting from me to the pyrokis.

It was a soft admission, one he probably hadn’t meant to reveal to me of all people, but it tore from him as if he couldn’t stop it.

He seemed to realize that because he straightened ever so slightly, swallowing, embarrassed.

“There were other factors, though,” he said gruffly, “that we brought to his attention. Other members of the horde had also announced they would leave after the thaw. Almost two dozen, many of them warriors.”

Discomfort made me shift. “Because of me.”

He didn’t confirm or deny it, which only added to my guilt. It started to make sense, why Seerin had changed so drastically that night. He’d been betrayed by a male he thought of as a brother, who had been at his side since Dothik. He’d been blindsided by his entire council, who’d threatened to leave. And not only that but he also risked losing a significant number of his horde.

Briefly, I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping the fence until my knuckles turned white.

“He didn’t tell me any of those things,” I whispered. All he’d said was that it had become clear to him that I couldn’t be his Morakkari.

Because he’d been backed into a corner by the advisors he trusted.

So what had changed? Even knowing that his council and horde threatened him, he’d still decided to come after me, to bring me back, to want me as his Morakkari regardless.

Seerin loved his horde but…

Is it possible that he loves me even more?I asked myself.

A sharp exhale squeezed my lungs. I’d told him I hadn’t believed him when he said he loved me and I remembered, in crisp detail, the distraught expression on his face because of it.

Movement inside my belly made me gasp and my hand came up to rest there despite the layers of clothing I had on.

“Neffar?”

“I think the baby moved,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. It was such a beautiful feeling, that fluttering inside me. And my first instinct was to want to share it with Seerin, despite everything we had gone through in the past month.

The pujerak was silent and I blinked back the tears, hoping he wouldn’t see my raw, surprised emotion. When I looked up at him, he was staring at me, his brow furrowed, his jaw clenched.

“He needs you,” the Dakkari male told me.

My lips parted at his words.

“Before he realized you had left the horde,” he continued, “he was not himself. He wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating. He was…spiritless.”

My chest pulled in agony at the Seerin he was describing. Because I couldn’t imagine him that way…although I’d seen a hint of it two nights ago. He’d seemed defeated.

“You are not the Morakkari that I would want for this horde. I have not made that a secret, even to you,” he murmured, reminding me of that night he’d approached me on the training grounds. “However, I realize that you are the kassikari he wants and needs. If he were any other male, if he was not a Vorakkar, he would have joined you to him long ago. I have no doubt in my mind about that.”

My throat tightened at his words. They meant a lot coming from him.

“As his pujerak, I thought I was doing the right thing, trying to steer him from you. But as his friend,” he said, his voice growing deeper, gruffer, “I feel ashamed of what I have done. As his friend, I knew that you were always going to be his choice.”

My hand shook when I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t like this side of you,” I informed him. “You’re almost being nice.”

He didn’t hesitate as he replied, “Once I walk away, I will forget it ever happened, kalles.”

A sudden, wobbly smile appeared on my face and I looked away from his eyes, staring over the pyroki enclosure. A short distance away, the mrikro frowned at us both, but minded his own business, mucking out the nests.

“My mate is upset with me because I told her what I have done,” he admitted. “She thinks the honorable thing to do is give up my position as pujerak. She thinks the honorable thing to do is stand by my word and leave the horde.”

“Seerin wouldn’t want that,” I told him. “It would hurt him if you truly left. You know that.”

“I do not want to leave,” he said, his gaze sliding over to me. “And I realize that if I am to stay, then I must make amends with you first before he would ever consider forgiving me for my dishonorable actions.”

My lips twitched ever so slightly. “You want to use me to get back in Seerin’s good graces?

“Lysi,” he said, unashamed about that. I appreciated his honesty. It made me like him even.

“I’m alright with that,” I told him.

His shoulders loosened.

“Thank you for telling me,” I said after a brief moment of silence. “Even though the council’s matters are private, I appreciate it.”

“He disbanded the council two nights ago,” he told me softly. “It does not matter anymore.”

After my initial shock had passed, I asked, “Why would he do that?”

“Because, kalles, he can,” he rasped, turning towards me. “I have always known that he would be one of the great Vorakkars of our race. He will be remembered long after his time. And now, it seems, he is finally realizing that himself. He does not need us.”

I shivered slightly, though it had nothing to do with the cold afternoon wind.

“And you will be at his side,” he added. “Will you not?”

I didn’t answer him as we stood there together, watching the pyrokis.

I did, however, feel the answer echo deep in my chest.