Captive of the Horde King by Zoey Draven

Chapter Thirty-Five

“You’re sure I can’t do anything, Luna?” Kivan asked quietly, squeezing my hand.

“No,” I said, giving him a small smile that I hoped reassured him. I was laying in bed, propped up by a plethora of cushions. It was early morning, not even a few hours after Arokan had found me. Dawn was just beginning to break over the sky and already, I’d been patched up by the healer, my arm popped back into place, and I’d had some tea for the pain. “I just need rest.”

Kivan nodded. He looked tired. He’d been up all night too. I’d learned that it had been him who’d alerted Arokan that something was wrong. He’d seen me go into the black vine forest with Hukan, though he hadn’t thought anything of it at the time. However, once he saw Hukan exit alone, without me or my guards, he went to find Arokan immediately.

“I’m glad you’re safe, Luna,” Kivan whispered down to me. He squeezed my hand and then rose from the bed. “I’ll see you later.”

I nodded and watched him go. My piki, Mirari and Lavi, had already come by and I knew they were outside waiting for my brother, to ask him about me. Both, apparently, were overcome with guilt, though I couldn’t understand why. I’d dismissed them yesterday evening, to go let them prepare for the grand meal.

The moment my brother exited the tent, Arokan stepped inside, as if my husband knew I’d needed that time with my brother.

Arokan was still quiet. Even though the last of the Ghertun had been hunted down, he was still furious. I could tell. I’d never seen him this way before and it worried me.

“Come here,” I ordered. Silently, Arokan walked to his side of the bed and slid in beside me. He drew close, careful of my injured shoulder, of the burn, and positioned me so I laid my head in the crook of his elbow.

We hadn’t had time to talk. I almost feared what to say, considering how the circumstance had come about.

“Arokan,” I whispered, turning my head to look at him. “Did you…did you find the guards? Their bodies?”

I couldn’t stop thinking about them. If I’d never gone into the forest with Hukan…they would still be alive.

“Lysi,” he said. “They will be given a proper burial. A warrior’s burial.”

I nodded, trying to meet his gaze, but he was looking down at my burn. At the Ghertun marking. His eyes were frozen on it, though I knew he’d seen it when the healer put healing salve on it.

Suddenly, he said, “Hukan did not try to flee when I put her under guard watch.”

My breath hitched. I hadn’t told him it was Hukan, not directly. But judging from what my brother had said, my husband had put together the fragmented pieces. He knew that his only blood relation, his mother’s sister, the female that had once saved his life, had betrayed him.

My fingers sought his hand. His palm was warm and he gripped my hand tightly, as if afraid I would let go.

“I’m sorry, Arokan,” I said.

“She will face her punishment,” Arokan said, his voice strange. “She will face Kakkari.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but I wasn’t certain I wanted to know right then.

“I know you love her,” I said, looking down at our entwined hands. “I know this is hard for you.”

“For me,” he repeated slowly, turning my face to look at me, his brow furrowed in an expression that looked anguished. “Kalles, you were betrayed, taken, beaten, burned…your—your pant lacings were…were ripped—”

My sucked in a harsh breath, realizing what he was saying, and I turned in his arms, ignoring the twinge in my shoulder. Taking his face in my hands, I whispered, “They didn’t touch me, Arokan. Not that way.”

He closed his eyes and tears pricked my vision. The things he must’ve thought…

“Arokan,” I whispered, stroking his cheek. “My body will heal. The healer said the baby is safe. I’mhere with you. That’s all that matters.”

“The burn will remain,” he said, his voice hardening. “The memory will.”

I went silent. I knew it would. I would forever remember the feel of a dagger sinking into Ghertun flesh, of a shocked expression, of the realization that I’d killed him.

But I would do it all over again if I had to.

“I failed you,” he said.

I gasped. “What?”

“I did not protect you,” he said, looking at me, that emotion that I’d seen when he’d entered the clearing in the forest, right at the surface. “The dark things I thought when I realized you had been taken, when we could not find you as the hours went by…vok, Luna, it was the worst moment of my life and I have experienced many of those. I failed you. When I swore to protect you, when I swore you would be safe. I am sorry, kassikari. Please forgive me.”

Hearing him apologize was almost as wrong as his words.

“Arokan,” I said, taking his face again. “Listen to me. You did not fail me. Don’t ever think that again.”

He shook his head.

“Stop it,” I whispered, my throat clogging. This was why he’d been quiet, I realized. Because he believed he’d been responsible for what I suffered. “Arokan, you did save me.”

He closed his eyes. “I found you because I heard you scream.”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” I said. When he looked at me, I said, “I meant that you gave me the strength and the knowledge and the training in order for me to survive. Without that, I don’t think I would’ve.”

He dropped his head to my shoulder, letting out a rough breath.

“I tried to stay calm,” I told him softly. “I watched them. I came up with a plan. You remember that night in the forest? When I drew the blade on you?”

He nodded.

“I remembered that night too. I did the same thing. I got one alone and close. I managed to get his dagger and I did what I had to do. I cut him where you taught me to,” I said, “to protect myself and our baby. Then I ran. I hid and then I heard the horde coming. The leader…he must’ve seen me. He was desperate by then, but you came before he could act on it.”

Arokan looked at me and I watched him process my words.

“I know that you think you failed me, but you didn’t,” I whispered, leaning forward to give him a small kiss. He breathed me in, his fingers delving into my hair. “You didn’t. It breaks my heart knowing you think that.”

“I want…I need to kill them again, kalles,” he rasped. “For hurting you.”

I stroked his hair, felt his tail wrap around my thigh. I knew that feeling wouldn’t go away for a long time.

However, his words made me remember something.

“Arokan, there’s something else,” I whispered.

“Neffar?”

“The leader,” I started, looking at him. “He said the Ghertun have a king. Did you know that?”

Arokan’s lips pressed together. “We heard reports, lysi.”

“They were going to take me to him,” I told him, eliciting a growl from my husband. “Apparently the scout that we found at the old camp…that was one of his sons. He wanted revenge. That’s why he took me because he knew it would hurt you. The leader said…he said that the king is planning to take all of Dakkar, that he has an army big enough to succeed.”

“It is a concern, lysi,” Arokan rasped, “but the Ghertun do not know how many Dakkari warriors we have. I can assure you, kalles, that any army he has is no match for us.”

I relaxed, nodding. After a moment, I whispered, “I was frightened, Arokan. I won’t deny that.” He tensed beside me. “But only because I feared for the baby. I feared that they would take me away before I ever saw you again.”

He blew out a long breath that ruffled my hair, his arm tightening around me.

“I was frightened too, Luna,” he confessed softly, his voice guttural and raw. “I have never been so frightened in my entire life.”

My chest squeezed because I heard the truth in his voice.

“Promise me you’ll stop thinking you failed me, Arokan,” I said, seeing his irises contract at my words. “Promise me.”

His jaw clenched as he said, “I will do my best, kalles. That I can promise you.”

It would have to be good enough. It would take time to move past this, to move on. It had both shaken us, I knew, but I knew that it would make us stronger. I didn’t doubt that.

I took his hand again. I leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and then I pulled back and said, “I love you, Arokan. No matter what, I love you. I regret not telling you sooner.”

He leaned his forehead against mine. His voice deepened as he said, “I love you too, my Luna, rei kassikari, rei Morakkari. I think I have from the very first moment.”