Psync by Zile Elliven

Chapter Fourteen

Eli

His morning went by at warp-speed.

Just because he’d narrowed down the number of classes on his schedule didn’t mean he wasn’t still taking a stupid number of classes.

He was planning on having lunch—he really was—but made a quick U-turn when he spotted Haruka in line at the counter.

Nope nope nope.

What the hell was up with his body today? Why did it go crazy every time he even thought about Haruka?

He pulled out his phone.

Eli: Can one of you grab me something to eat and bring it to the club meeting?

I’m not going to be able to grab lunch today

mAlice: Sure, babe, I got you. Anything wrong?

Eli: Nope! Just busy

It wasn’t a complete lie. He wasn’t going to be able to get lunch because he didn’t have time to hit up another cafeteria and make it to his next class. And that counted as being busy, right?

He gave the cafeteria a wide berth—just in case he was spotted from a window. Not that he thought Haruka would come sprinting after him, wielding a burrito, but one could never be too careful.

By the time he made it to the club room for his first official meeting of the Tea and Calligraphy club, his stomach was punishing him for depriving it all day. He really should have grabbed something from the coffee cart other than coffee, but he’d been too keyed up to even think about eating.

When he spotted Alice waving a bag at him from a table, he could have hugged her.

“I’m ready to propose marriage if that’s what it takes to get that bag, Alice.” He slid into a seat beside her, hands clasped together, pleading. He didn’t know what was inside the bag, but the smell was torturing him.

“Don’t give me those puppy eyes. Of course, this is for you. You’re too skinny as it is.” Alice pointed to his baggy sleeves. “And don’t go proposing to just anyone. Someone might take you up on it and steal you away from us.”

Eli didn’t respond, he was too busy stuffing the grilled cheese sandwich he’d discovered into his mouth as fast as it would go.

“And definitely don’t make those sounds in public.” Nate said from across the table.

“I’m hungry!” he said between bites.

“And whose fault is that?”

Eli kept his eyes glued to his food and continued to eat so he didn’t have to answer. It was clearly Haruka’s fault, but he’d pick never eating again over mentioning that piece of info to his friends. Nate already had issues with the man. If Eli said he made him too nervous to eat, he doubted it would make his friend less worried.

The sound of clapping filled the room. Everyone turned to see Kate standing at the front of the room with a wide smile. “I think everyone is here, so we can get started.”

There weren’t a lot of people in the club. With the addition of Eli and his friends, it brought the total number of members to eleven. Eli and Nate were the only guys, and it was easy to see by the sparkle in his friend’s eye exactly how he felt about it.

“First, I want to start by welcoming our new members. Raise your hands and introduce yourself, guys!”

Eli poked a few fingers out of his sleeve and gave a quick wave but didn’t say anything. He was there to get better at calligraphy and hang out with Alice and Nate—not to make more friends.

Alice wasn’t as reserved though, she raised both hands and cheered like she was at a football game. “Nice to meet you everyone! I’m Alice and this shy cutie here is Eli. Don’t be afraid if he runs away the first time you introduce yourself to him. It’s his way of saying hi.”

“Alice . . .” Eli whispered through gritted teeth. Not that she was entirely incorrect, but she didn’t need to make a big deal about his sad lack of social skills.

Nate stood up and waved. “I’m Nate—as most of you already know. I’m glad to see some new faces and look forward to meeting you and learning everything you all have to teach me.” He cocked his head to the side and gave a charming smile—one Eli knew for a fact he practiced in the mirror. “And if Eli runs away from you, I promise to catch him and bring him back for a proper introduction.”

When Nate sat back down Eli leaned forward and hissed. “You two planned this, didn’t you?”

“It’s for your own good, sweetie.” Alice patted the table next to his hand.

Nate, on the other hand, merely grinned and pointed his attention back at Kate.

“Usually, we start off each meeting by going around and asking everyone what their goals are for the week. It gives members with less experience a chance to get advice and support from everyone in the group. Even new members are welcome to give advice if you have any insight. We’re all here to learn and have fun, after all.

“We only have one rule here, and I’m going to clear the floor for Raina who is the enforcer.” Kate bowed theatrically and stepped aside for a tall young woman with a long, black braid, a ripped black crop top, and motorcycle boots.

She topped Eli by half a foot. Hopefully the rule would be easy to follow. Getting on Raina’s bad side wouldn’t end in his favor.

“Hi everyone.” Raina’s voice was quiet but strong. Something about it reminded Eli of Haruka. “Rule number one is easy enough to follow, so I’m not anticipating any trouble. Simply put, just don’t be a dick.”

Alice laughed. “I knew I was going to like this club.”

“Everyone here has a right to their opinions as long as they don’t trample on anyone’s right to be themselves. We welcome everyone for who they are and respect their thoughts. And”—one by one, Raina made eye contact with all of the newcomers—“we expect all of our members to do so as well.”

Eli breathed out a sigh of relief. He could do that.

“I think we picked the right club, guys.” Alice’s soft smile made the ball of anxiety that had a near-permanent home in Eli’s chest unravel a bit.

“I think you’re right.”

“I know we were right,” Nate said, with his eyes on two women sitting at the table next to them.

“Be polite.” Alice warned. “I’m not having your lecherous ways get us kicked out on the first day.”

“I’m always polite.” Nate put a hand on his chest, offended. “I save all of my rudeness up for you, dear.”

Alice gave him the finger.

The next half hour went by as each member talked about current projects and the progress they had made so far. The only other new member, a small, mousey girl named Helen, said she was mostly interested in making snacks that paired well with tea. She looked at the floor when she said this, as if half expecting to be kicked out.

“Finally!” Kate pumped a fist in the air and exchanged happy looks with a club member whose name Eli had already forgotten. “We’ve been waiting for a snack-maker! I’ve been keeping room in the budget for this just in case.”

Helen’s eyes left the floor. “Really?”

“You have no idea.” The nameless club member jumped in eagerly.

Eli tuned out of the conversation as they chatted happily about what equipment they could afford to buy to aid Helen in her quest. It was his turn next—he had to prepare himself for what was about to happen.

It was really a crapshoot whether or not he’d be able to say anything coherent in a large group of people. Sometimes the stars aligned properly, and he’d be able to control what came out of his mouth. Other times he froze up so bad he’d barely be able to say anything.

Finally, the conversation died down, and it was Eli’s turn. He tucked his hands deep inside his sleeves and dove in. Sometimes if he just started talking without thinking the problem sorted itself out. “Hi.”

. . . And then other times his entire English vocabulary deserted him.

Like right now.

Desperately, he cast around the room, and his eyes fell on Alice who smiled broadly, gave him two thumbs up, and mouthed, You got this!

He took a deep breath and tried again. “Um, I’m a language major and . . . I like to write.”

Excellent job, Eli. Keep it up.

“Right now, I want to improve my skills in writing kanji, but . . .” And the words were gone again. Stupid fear of public speaking. He pushed forward. “Sometimes I get stuck in thinking that I’m wronging the Japanese language by writing it so badly, and I give up. But when I do it right, I’m really happy so . . .” He trailed off. That was it. He’d used up all of his words at the moment. Hopefully it was enough.

For a few nerve-wracking heartbeats no one spoke and then . . .

“H-have you tried practicing what you want to write in English first?” Helen asked, eyes just to the left of where Eli was sitting.

“Actually, no. Usually I just dive into it and get frustrated halfway through when it doesn’t come out right.” Eli’s fingertips peeked out from his sleeves.

“Helen’s got a good idea, Eli,” Raina said. “Try practicing what you want to write in a language you’re comfortable in first. Once you feel confident, switch over. Or you can do what I did. I had the same problem when I first started learning hanzi. I treated it like I was transcribing something sacred, and my Chinese teacher teased me saying he’d given me his grocery list to practice with. When I started treating it like a utilitarian function instead of art, it got easier. It’s all about reframing.”

Eli let out a small laugh, surprising himself. “Thanks.” He liked Helen’s idea more. Kanji was too pretty to ever be utilitarian to him.

Once the group broke up to work on projects, Eli scrolled through Pinterest, looking for something that inspired him. If a project wasn’t interesting, he wouldn’t finish it.

He scrolled past cute kitten videos—reluctantly—and various K-pop stars—even more reluctantly—until he came across a quote that stopped him in his tracks.

He ran to grab a brush and paper and hurried back to his seat. As soon as his brush hit the paper, he lost himself in the peaceful dichotomy of brisk motion and stillness. The background noise fell away. He didn’t have to think about anything else, only the gentle swoop of the brush and the slight resistance of the paper as it gave way to the ink.

When he was done, he leaned back to examine his work.

I cannot remember exactly the first time your soul whispered to mine, but I know you woke it. And it has never slept since.

~ JM Storm

It wasn’t perfect, but he hadn’t left a bazillion little splotches in his wake, so he was counting it as a win.

“Jesus, Eli.” Alice breathed, alerting Eli to the fact that she was hovering over his shoulder. “I had no idea you were so romantic. Maybe I should have accepted your proposal after all.”

“Um, I’m not, really. This just caught my attention.”

How could it not have? He had his own private mystery voice living in his head—one that had been oddly quiet over the past few days.

Was it okay?

The back of his mind tingled and for a split-second, Eli was wrapped in the sensation of hot sun beating on his back and a deep feeling of satisfaction. Then it was gone.

What the . . .?