Blue 42 by C.A. Rene

Chapter thirty-two

Dixon

The liquid spreads throughout my knee and the cooling effect is instantaneous. Seb keeps watching me with his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed, like the hypocrite he is. I know he does drugs, I’ve seen it, and I know he suffers from the last concussion still. He’s self medicating to get by as well, so he shouldn’t judge me.

“I need more,” I tell him without looking up, flexing my leg, and moaning when the pain subsides.

“You’re always going to need more.” He retorts and I stand, getting in his face.

“Don’t even stand there and judge me.” I poke my finger into his chest.

He grabs it and sucks it into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the tip. I’m hard in a split second and I can think of nothing else but having his mouth on my cock.

“You can’t use this forever,” he says when he pops my finger out of his mouth, “and your knee will only get worse.”

“I need it for this season, that’s it.” I say, my voice husky with need.

“Too long,” he rasps and his other hand cups my swollen cock, squeezing it through my shorts.

I fall forward into him and my forehead hits his, the pleasure seemingly too much. He releases my finger and cups my cheek, pulling me in so he can suck on my bottom lip. He presses his cock between us and I groan into his mouth, wanting him inside me. He chuckles against my lips when I begin to whimper, the need coursing through me is almost too much, and his hand moves from my cock to my ass. He gives it a squeeze, bringing me in closer, and pressing our cocks together.

He slips beneath my shorts and runs his fingers down my crack, stopping at my asshole. He pushes a finger inside and begins to fuck me with it, watching my face closely.

“Fuck, Seb.” I pant.

“Dixon?” Dani’s voice calling into the locker room has us flying apart and I nearly pass out from the fear surging through me.

Sebastian rolls his eyes and falls back against the lockers, crossing his arms again. “Looks like your girl wants in on our action now.” He grins.

“Shut up,” I snarl at him and head towards her voice. She’s standing at the locker room entrance and her face is a bit pale, her eyes wide. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“I’m late.” She whispers and I swear I hear a snort behind me.

“For?”

“My period.” She huffs and it dawns on me what she’s trying to say.

“And you’re telling me… because?”

“Because I was only with you.” She grits through her teeth.

“Not from what I saw,” I retort, adding, “I wore protection.” And the second time, I didn’t even come. But I don’t tell her that.

“You need to face this and when you’re ready, we’ll talk,” then she storms off towards her father’s office and slams the door.

“That bitch is crazy,” I turn at Seb’s voice.

“It’s probably yours.” I snarl and he laughs.

“It could be anyone’s and you know I didn’t come in her that day.”

No, he didn’t, I swallowed everything he had that day. The memory makes my hard cock jump in my shorts and I wonder if Dani noticed I was sporting an erection while talking to her. I follow Seb out to the field and drive Dani from my mind, if she is actually pregnant, I know the kid isn’t mine.

Practice is good and I feel amped for the game tomorrow, playing against one of the teams I’ve looked up to for so long. The feeling only lasts until I get home and the pain crashes in on me worse than ever. Walking is impossible and I hop to my front door, praying my mother doesn’t see me like this. She’ll freak and call Coach. How do I explain to him that I’m fine during practices and then I come home like this?

Thankfully, I hear her in the kitchen cooking and when she calls out to me, I tell her I’m going for a soak. I make it upstairs but just barely and I have tears coursing down my face because the pain is too fucking much. I fall on my bed and decide not to move for the rest of the night. I take out my phone and message Seb, telling him to have more for me tomorrow because one won’t cut it.

Sebastian

I find Dixon in his car the next morning with sweat pouring off his face and breathing rapidly. When I come up to the driver’s side, I see the used syringe, and groan into my fist. I knew this would happen and using Toradol to mask the pain will only make it worse. He used me as an example for self medicating but my head is different from his knee.

I tap on the window and he doesn’t even look to see who it is as he lowers it, “I’m good.” He pants and I growl at him.

“No, you’re not.” I toss in a bag with five more syringes. “That’s all you’ll get. After the game tonight, you’re going to the hospital.”

“No,” he sits up and winces, “don’t Seb, I can deal with this.”

“I’ll be taking you there myself.” I tap on the hood of his car and then I stride back to the stadium. I can’t see him like that, it reminds me too much of my addict mother, and I get the feeling I’m about to be abandoned again.

I swallow it down because Dixon isn’t mine and if he wants to leave, he can. Doesn’t mean I won’t find him though and he knows I would, I’m damn good at it. With that thought, I forget my mommy issues, and head back inside. It’s fucking frigid outside and Christmas is right around the corner. In a few days, I will be watching my little girl open Barbie dollhouses and nail things, I can’t wait.

We’re playing in the snow, my favorite time to play football, and we’re up by a touchdown. Dixon has been on fire and on his third syringe of the day, I wasn’t joking, I will be taking him to the ER later.

It’s the last quarter and Dixon is looking a bit green, his knee is at least twice the size it should be. I pray he makes it to the end but I can see him declining quickly. Zeal calls out the play and Dixon takes off, nobody else notices but I see the slight limp in his run. He’s not nearly as fast either. He skips to the side to avoid a tackle and I watch as he slips and lands on that leg, knowing what comes next.

The scream that tears through his throat is filled with pain and I watch as the game is paused, medics running to the field. It’s the worst possible thing I wanted to happen but at least I can be assured he’s on the way to the hospital, just like I wanted.

The rest of the game is spent with me worrying about Dixon and we end up losing by a few points. It’s the Patriots and honestly, we’re happy we weren’t pounded into the dirt. A few points loss is not bad. I get to the locker room and Dixon is gone, just like I knew he would be. That knee was looking way worse than the first time he injured it and I’m kind of pissed Coach didn’t care to check it out. I get that Dixon is his own man but coaches are there to guide and make sure we’re doing well. He throws piss tests but that’s about it.

I change quickly and leave the stadium, getting in my Hummer. I drive to the hospital and when I get in the nurses tell me he’s in x-ray but I can wait in his room for him. He’ll be admitted for at least the night. All good things. I go to the room they tell me and when I walk inside, I see his mother sitting on one of the beds. She sees me and I know it’s too late to back out.

“Hi there,” she gives me a once over and a smile. “Are you a friend of Dixon’s?”

“Yes ma’am,” I step forward and hold out my hand. “Sebastian, I’m a teammate.”

“You must be more than that to come by.” She smiles and my heart begins to pound. Maybe I should’ve just called instead. “He’s in x-ray and will be back soon.”

“Sounds good,” I nod, “would you like a coffee?” I need to get out of this room. The way she’s looking at me is like she knows everything I’ve done to her son. Both willing and non. I hope I’m just being paranoid.

“No, thank you.” She just keeps smiling and it’s creeping me out.

I turn quickly and leave the room, rushing down to a set of elevators. I press the buttons rapidly, cursing when the damn things take forever, and then I feel heat on the side of my face. I turn to look back the way I came and find Dixon’s mom leaning against the door frame of the room, just watching me with that creepy smile.

The elevator dings open and I go to rush in, only to bump into a stretcher.

“Shit, sorry,” I say as I back away.

“Seb?” Dixon’s voice hits me and relief is immediate. “What are you doing here?” he sounds groggy and out of it.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay before I went home for the holidays.” I follow the stretcher as the nurses push it back towards his room.

“Looks like a severe strain,” he huffs and rolls his eyes, “I’ll be out tomorrow.”

“That’s good.” They push him into the room and his mom looks from him to me, giving me that creeped out feeling again. “Anyways, I should go. I got a long drive ahead of me.”

“Alright man,” Dixon holds out his hand and I grasp it, “thanks for coming by.”

“Happy holidays,” I say to him and his mother.

“Merry Christmas,” his mother replies, her eyes on mine like a hawk’s.

I walk out of that hospital and back to the Hummer, my mind flicking through everything between Dixon and me. Could she have overheard us that first time? I get inside the Hummer and drive back to my house. I have a long drive in the morning and I don’t want to spend what time I could be sleeping by worrying about secrets coming to the surface.

Rochester has a nasty rep, not that it hasn’t been earned.

The good folk stay away but I can never wait to get back here. My wife and child live in Tribeca and that’s as close as they’ll ever get to Rochester. Paola grew up in Rochester with me and we both agreed Carla would not be subjected to it. I don’t think she needs to be tough like we were growing up here. She needs to be tough in other ways, especially because she’ll have money, and she’ll be my only child.

Delano’s small house is lit up with Christmas lights and the scraggly bushes in the front have Christmas ornaments on them. I remember we never had much to give each other for Christmas but we always decorated and had a good time. I unload the bags I have in the back; I bought him and his mom some food, and there’s clothing as well. There was a time they gave me everything they could and I never miss an opportunity to give back.

Delano also has three boys. I leave the back open because it’s filled with gifts for them to open Christmas morning. I open the front door and the screams of kids assault my ears. Thank god I only have the one.

“Ho, ho, ho!” I yell through the house and a chorus of ‘Uncle Seb’ sounds around me. “Get out to that vehicle and bring in all your gifts.” I tell them and they run outside screaming.

“Thanks, man.” Delano comes out of the kitchen and I haul him in for a hug. “We need to talk.”

His voice lets me know that it’s about business and he leads me into his office. It’s small and cramped but this is where a lot of our decisions go down.

“What’s up?”

“A few suspicious things have happened over the last few weeks.” He begins and tosses me a baggy to cut out, “two of our grow ops were raided. We caught one of the guys and forced some info out of him.” Tortured, he means and I can’t help the envy I feel. I wish I were there for that.

“And?”

“Looks like that little Baltimore gang is starting a war.”

“No way.” I look up at him, “how?”

“We killed his son.”

“So?” I shrug, “that’s life.”

“Truth,” he nods and leans forward, “but he’s out for blood and he’s out for you.”

“Me?” I raise a brow, “how do you know that? And how does he know me?”

“He also ran into a few of our women and left a few messages carved into their dead bodies,” he takes a breath and shakes his head, “it said ‘Bring me Avando and this will stop’.”

“Really.” I sniff a line and look up at Delano, “he recognized my voice in the video.”

“I guess so,” he shrugs, “there’s really no other way.”

“How are we contacting him?” I ask him.

“He said to come to the Marina where we found Little North.”

“He’ll have to wait until after Christmas,” I snort, “it’s the holidays after all.”

We laugh and finish the lines, taking me back to when we were younger. Times were hard and we had death creeping around us constantly, but we never let it control our lives. We always grew up with the mentality that we’re on borrowed time and death was something we never feared.