One Hot Doctor by Sarah J. Brooks

Chapter 34

Cora

I’m on my second cup of tea when Thomas walks into the kitchen looking like he’s been run over by a truck. He looks sinfully handsome with his hair messed up and his eyes straining to see. I laugh.

“Morning,” he mumbles and comes to kiss my forehead.

He’s wearing boxer briefs only, and my gaze is drawn to his big, sexy frame. I have a sudden urge to fold myself against that massive chest and have his strong arms encircle me.

“Morning.” I get up and pour a mug of coffee for him.

He takes it gratefully and wraps his big hands around the mug. He takes a sip and then another. “Ah, now I’m beginning to feel human. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I sit back down and observe him as he drinks his coffee.

There’s so much I want to ask him, but I have to wait for the right time, not jump on him when he’s just woken up. Forefront on my mind is what he asked me last evening about staying with him. I don’t understand what he meant. I stayed awake half the night figuring out what he might have meant. Does he want us to try and make it work between us? That thought excited me so much that it made my baby wake up and spend the next half hour kicking my belly.

“I feel like an idiot for drinking as much as I did yesterday. I’m sorry. Did I embarrass you at work?” Thomas asks.

The temptation to trick him is high. I wear a solemn face. “You did. We need to talk about that this morning.”

A stricken look comes over his features, and he places his cup down on the table. I can’t stand seeing him like that, even for the purpose of a joke.

“I’m just kidding,” I tell him, and he grins, his features smoothening out. “You’re funny when you’re drunk.”

“That’s the first and last time you’re seeing me drunk. I usually limit myself to three beers. I guess I was too excited yesterday.”

“Congratulations on getting the job,” I tell him. “Not that I had any doubt.”

“Thank you,” Thomas says, and then his forehead creases. “Am I imagining stuff, or did I ask you to stay on?”

My heart drops to my belly. “You did.”

He holds my gaze, and electricity sizzles between us. “And what did you say?”

“I never said anything.”

“Okay. Maybe I should ask you again. Can you stay on until after the baby is born?”

I frown as it dawns on me that once again, I’m allowing myself to fantasize about the impossible. He doesn’t sound like a man who wants to try and have a relationship. He sounds like the Thomas I’ve always known who is afraid of love and vulnerability.

“Why?”

He looks away. A small ball of pain forms in my chest.

“You’ll need help with the baby, and I want to be there for you,” he says.

My heart feels like it’s shrinking, and the ball of pain in my chest grows bigger. It’s silly of me to hope that he will say he has feelings for me and wants us to be a family. Why do I always hurt myself like this? I put on a neutral expression and hope that the pain is not reflected in my face. No point in humiliating myself further.

I need to wear my big girl pants. I’m soon going to be a mother, and I can’t afford to be making decisions based on my emotions. I must think of this as the first big test.

What is best for the baby and me? I will indeed need help with the baby, especially for the first few weeks. I’ve been reading a lot on newborn babies, and from what I gather, it takes a while to settle into a routine. Then, of course, there the fact that Thomas is the baby’s dad and an obstetrician. So yeah, I’d want to be near him, but I do need more information.

“How long for?”

“A few weeks,” Thomas says.

I ignore the throb in my chest. “We have to reach a firm agreement. I don’t want to find myself still here when the baby is walking.”

A pained look comes over his features, but he quickly replaces it with a smile, and I wonder if it was my imagination. “Sounds good to me.”

“Thomas, you’re the man who doesn’t want a long-term relationship, remember?”

“And you’re the woman who wants a baby but not the man.”

“That’s not true. I only resorted to a sperm donor because I hadn’t met a man ready for a real, serious, and committed relationship. I still haven’t met him, or have I?”

It’s unfair to push him against the wall like that, but I don’t want him to lie to himself that I’m the reason why we are not trying to be in a relationship. It’s time for Thomas to face the truth about himself.

“Look, I went through a lot in my marriage. I still haven’t come to terms with the knowledge that Tessa was cheating on me. I don’t want to make a promise that I can’t deliver.”

Pain rumbles through me. I see Thomas more clearly than I ever have before. He will never ever change. He’ll grow old as a bachelor. He probably loves his single life but is not brave enough to admit it, so he hides it behind what Tessa did and did not do.

I shake my head. “I know that about you. But I wish you’d stop hiding behind your marriage. That was four years ago. I think it’s time to admit that you’re not capable of loving another woman. You still place your wife on a pedestal.”

Why am I bothering?

I stand up. “Three weeks, Thomas. That’s how long I’ll stay after the baby is born, then I’ll move back to my apartment and move on with my life.”

 

 

***

 

Thomas was right. Two weeks from the day we had that conversation, I get an email from the management agency informing me that the building is ready for occupancy.

I’m tempted to move back to my apartment. The atmosphere between us has been filled with tension in the last two weeks. We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms and barely talking during meals.

Thomas started his new job, which means we see each other less. It’s a good thing, especially now when we haven’t managed to return to the easy relationship we had before. I miss him, though. I miss talking about my day with him and hearing how his went. Last week, we went to see Doctor Phillips together. That was nice, and some of the distance between us evaporated. Some of it.

Today is my day off, and I decide to pass by the gym and my apartment and check it out for myself. On a whim, I call Riley and ask her if she wants to come along.

“Yes, thank you. I’m feeling as if I’m going crazy,” she says dramatically.

“You’re just missing Leo,” I tell her. He’s out of town on a training course. “When is he coming back?”

“Not soon enough. Tomorrow,” she says.

“I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes,” I tell her.

Suddenly, I feel a lot better about my situation. I’m glad that we can start getting the gym ready for clients and our normal programs. I’m grateful that my mom and Ian offered me a part-time job, but if I never hear the words “check please,” again, I’ll die happy.

It was fun and nice to get out of the house, but now that I’m in my third trimester, I’m tiring easily, and being on my feet all day is killing me. I’ll be glad to tell my mother and Ian that the gym will soon be operational again.

I find Riley waiting for me outside her house.

“Your belly size doubles every time I see you,” I tell her.

“I could say the same for you,” Riley says.

I stare at her in admiration. Despite being on bed rest for weeks, she hasn’t gained any weight. The only change is the protruding belly, and she looks adorable. “You sure the doctor said it’s okay to walk around?”

“Yes, and please don’t be like Leo. He’s driving me insane,” Riley says.

“You look good. I wish I could keep my weight down without any effort like you.” I steer the car back onto the road.

“You’re alright, Cora, relax. This is our time not to give a fuck about our weight. Embrace it.”

“Okay, ma’am,” I say with a giggle.

“So, when is the good doctor going to make an honest woman out of you?” she says.

Everyone I love asks me this question in one form or another. “I don’t know. I don’t think Thomas will ever be ready.”

She’s silent for a while. “You love him, don’t you?”

“Maybe.” I’m not ready to admit to anyone including my best friend what an idiot I am to be in love with a man who does not feel the same.

“There’s no shame in loving someone, Cora,” she says.

“There is if that love is not reciprocated.” I try to keep my tone casual, but even I can hear the pain in my voice.

“He’ll come to his senses. He loves you. That much I know. I can tell by the way he looks at you and how he lights up when he sees you.”

That’s something else my loved ones like to say. That Thomas lights up when he sees me. I wish that were true. He’s just happy to see a familiar face.

“Yeah.” Luckily, we’ve reached my apartment building, and just seeing it looking so clean and so new makes tears of joy come to my eyes.

“I can’t believe how good it looks.”

“Hard to believe how awful it looked months ago,” Riley adds.

I have my keys, and we start off with the gym. I unlock it, and to my surprise, there’s fresh paint in the gym too, and everywhere is clean. The machines are sparkling clean, which is a pleasant surprise. We’ll have to get them serviced, of course, but after that, we’ll be good to go.

It takes us half an hour, after which we head upstairs to my apartment. While the memories of the night of the fire are always there, they are not terrifying anymore. I’m just glad I made it out.

“How do you feel?” Riley asks as we walk through the front door.

“I’m okay. It smells clean.”

“I’m glad they got a cleaning company to clear up. They did a fantastic job,” Riley says.

“There’s no lingering smell of smoke.”

Even my bed has been made, and it looks as if the beddings have been laundered. We go to the kitchen, and I make us each a cup of tea just as I would have before the fire.

“I have the oddest feeling,” I tell Riley when we sit at the island drinking tea. “Like I’m a guest here. It doesn’t feel like home at all. Isn’t that weird?”

“It’s not weird. I remember living with Leo for a couple of weeks when I had to move out of my mom’s. When I got my own place, I kept thinking of Leo’s place as home. You guys have jelled so well together that you think of his place as home now.”

“I can’t wait to reopen the gym, though,” I tell her. “I can’t tell you how tired I am of being hit on at the bar.”

Riley laughs. “Men actually hit on pregnant women? I haven’t gone out enough, it seems.”

Time flies as we sit and chat. Leo texts Riley to ask her if she’s okay, and that’s our cue to leave.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” Riley says when I drop her back home.

“You’re welcome,” I tell her.

“Depending on what Dr. Philips says, I might be going back to work next week, even if it’s just administrative duties. I’m not cut out to stay home, Cora.”

“You’re not alone. I’m like that too. Working at the bar has saved my sanity.”

We say goodbye, and as I drive home, I sing loudly and out of tune, glad that normalcy will soon return to my life.