Saving Easton by Kaci Rose
Chapter 8
Easton
When I wake up, it's light outside. It takes me a minute to realize I slept through the night and didn't have a nightmare. No, I had a dream. A dream of being able to take Paisley out on a date, like a normal couple.
In my dream, I picked her up at her parents’ house with her parents’ and brother's blessing. I took her to the burger place she loved so much in Savannah, when we were in school, and we had burgers, fries, and milkshakes.
After dinner, we went for a walk along the riverfront, going in and out of stores, getting free samples at the candy shop, before heading back to the car, and driving around downtown, looking at the historic homes and talking all night.
Such a simple date, but one I crave. Each day Paisley visits, I want her more and more. I crave being around her. She’s like an addiction and is the one person that can pull me out of the dark place and help me open up.
In school, dating her wasn't an option, since her brother was my best friend. I'm sure it's still against some kind of guy code, even though it's been a few years since Leeland and I have spoken, but I find I don't care.
If Leeland had stayed in touch, it would be a different story. The tides have turned, and I'm now a closer friend with Paisley than I am him. Not that I want to stay friend zoned much longer, or at all really.
If I can convince Paisley to give me a chance, I'm going to take it. To do that, it means I need to push past my comfort zone and see if the doctors here can help me.
A knock on my door reminds me I have a therapy session today. Dr. Tate has been really great at working within my boundaries, and that means coming to my room. In the beginning, he would pull up a chair and sit across the room by the door. But like my nurses, doctors, and Paisley, the more I got to know him, the further into the room he was able to come.
Now, he sits on the couch during our sessions. Most of the time I don't talk much. I’ll answer his questions, and he’ll go over some things for me to try. Maybe, it's because of the dream I had of Paisley, and knowing for her, I have to work with him in order to get better, but today is different.
"I didn't have a nightmare last night," I tell him.
He doesn't even bother to hide the shock on his face.
"What do you think brought this on?"
"Paisley," I say.
"Who is Paisley?"
"She's the sister of my best friend from high school. She volunteers here and brings in service dogs. Her dog, Molly, sits on my lap, while Paisley visits, and we talk."
"Paisley sits where?" He asks.
"She started on the couch, but now it's the chair here." I point to her chair in front of me.
"Is this the same girl you walked out to the lobby with the other day?"
Yeah, I knew Lexi and Noah would tell everyone on my care team about that. They’re proud of it, and I am too as much as it scares me.
"Yes," I say. "She makes me want to push and to be better. Also, to be able to take her on a date, like in my dream."
"You had a dream about taking her on a date?" He asks.
"Yeah, last night."
While he’s busy scribbling notes down in his notebook, I keep talking.
"In school, Paisley was always off limits. Her brother said so, but I liked her even then. Her brother and I lost touch about the time of my first deployment. So, does that rule still count?" I ask, thinking out loud.
"A good friend would want you to be happy. If he trusted you enough to be your friend, then he should trust you enough to take care of his sister, though it's not really his choice, is it?" He says.
He has a point. Paisley is an adult now, and so am I. We can both make our own decisions. He might not like it, but if he's a true friend and knows this is serious and not just some fling, he’ll forgive me, right?
"Does her brother know you’re here?"
"No, and I don't want him, too. Not yet. I'm not ready to face him just yet."
Even just the thought of it ramps up my anxiety.
"You’re taking the sleeping medicine?"
"No, I haven't been for a while. I didn't like how I felt, and I couldn't wake up from the nightmares." I tell him.
"We can try a different one."
I shake my head.
"I know I'm not in a good place, but I'd like to try to do this with as little medication as possible. I don't want to be dependent on that stuff."
"I respect that. There are some more natural things we can try. Melatonin is a natural sleep aid. There are also some sleepy time teas you can try, even essential oils. Those are all more to get you to sleep. I have seen great results with meditation, too. It helps clear your head, so your focus is better."
We talk some more, and he suggests taking up a hobby. Painting, coloring, reading, writing, and puzzles, were some of his suggestions. Then, he said once I was ready to leave the room, exercise or gardening would be beneficial. None of it appealed to me, but I might talk to Paisley to see if she has any ideas. Maybe, we can find something we can do together.
When our time is up, Dr. Tate takes his things and leaves, and I have to say it was the most pleasant session we have had to date.
I decide to try moving around, so I slowly start pacing my room. The more I do it, the easier it is, as long as the door is closed. The knock on the door makes me jump and panic slightly, as I make my way back to my chair.
It's Noah who peeks his head in, and he instantly knows something’s wrong.
"What's wrong? What do you need?" He asks.
"Just need a minute. Was up and moving, when you knocked, and it was a bit too much." Once I calm, he looks more relaxed.
"Pushing more boundaries?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm here for you in any way I can. All you need to do is ask."
"Well, Dr. Tate said I should start a hobby. I've never been a hobby person. Haven't had time," I say.
"You know, Lexi is really good at photography. We could get you a computer with some editing software to do photos. Some guys here do puzzles. We also have a library. Lexi's dad is a contractor, and we can teach you some basic woodworking."
"Can you bring me a book? Something action packed and nothing horror. You know the drill."
"Sure thing. I'll ask Brooke since she helped stock the library." He says, heading out.
Brooke is the head nurse here, and the few times I've interacted with her, she's been really nice. She was Noah's nurse in the hospital, and then she and Lexi bonded, and she followed them here.
Noah shows back up and holds up a book. "This one Brooke says has a Mission Impossible meets Ocean’s Eleven feel. Where do you want it?"
I take a deep breath time for one more push today. "Can you bring it here?"
I'd say Noah is the closest thing to a friend I have other than Paisley, but he's never been more than a few steps into my room. So, I'm not surprised, when shock crosses his face.
"Just go slow," I tell him, and he nods, taking slow steps with his eyes on me I'm sure, watching for any change. He gets close enough to hand me the book, and I take it. I find with him it's the same, as when Paisley is here. My anxiety is up a little, but I still feel safe.
He goes back to the door and smiles. "Let me know how you like it." He nods and heads out.
I think I've done enough pushing my boundaries today. Paisley should be here tomorrow, and that means some more pushing tomorrow.
This isn't as bad as I thought it would be. It seems the more I push, the more I find it doesn't bother me like I thought it would, and I have no idea when that happened.