Damaged Gods by K.C. Cross, J.A. Huss
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - PIE
For a moment, I am confused.
I look over my shoulder. Nope. That’s all how it should be. The cemetery. The daylight. The top of the cathedral just over the hill.
But when I look forward—yeah. That’s where things stop making sense. Because I’m not in a tomb. I just walked into the lower level of the cathedral. Except this is not my cathedral.
There are dozens, possibly hundreds, of people walking around. Going up steps that look familiar, going down steps that don’t exist, passing by me and going into other rooms on either side of the lower great hall that are not supposed to be there.
But here’s where it really gets interesting. None of these people are Tarq. They are not even monsters. They’re just… people. Like… office workers. In fact, this place looks like it could be the interior of a downtown Philly office building. And in the space between the many, many, many people bustling about, I can even see a reception desk.
“What the actual fuck?”
There’s a man at the desk. A very well-dressed young man. Neat, dark hair. Clean-shaven face. He’s slight. Slim, but not skinny. Just one of those naturally trim people who can wear anything and look amazing. Right now, he’s wearing a black suit. Not just any black suit, but the kind they call bespoke.
He spots me through the crowd as well, and his smile becomes even bigger and brighter, if that’s even possible. He swiftly comes out from behind the reception desk and the crowd almost parts for him. So he’s right up in front of me before I can properly prepare myself for what comes next.
“Hello!” He beams. He clasps his hands behind his back and rocks on his heels a little. “You’re a new face. How can I help you?”
“Um.” Yeah. I don’t have a plan for this. “Well.” I sigh. “OK. I’m looking for a mon—a man,” I correct, thanking my lucky stars I didn’t just blurt out the word ‘monster.’ “A man called Tarq.” I look around, doubtful. “You don’t happen to know him, do you?”
The slim guy smiles at me. But it’s not beaming anymore. It’s a little tight-lipped. “Of course, ma’am.” He chuckles. “Tarq is…” He pans his arms wide. “The boss.”
“Right. Yes. I knew that. So… so I’m here to see him. I have a message from a mutual friend called Pell. Can you point me to Tarq so I can deliver this message?”
I am an idiot. This whole thing is stupid. I have to be stuck in a dream. Or maybe I really did die the morning after Halloween? Nothing in my life makes sense anymore.
Did it ever?
I don’t know.
“First, let’s introduce ourselves. Then we can get to the bottom of this.”
“Sure. I’m Pie,” I say. He makes that face everyone makes when they hear my name. But I just keep going. “Pie Vita. Nice to meet you…”
“Luciano.” He shakes my hand. “Luciano Giordano. And do you mind if I say your name is quite lovely?” Then he kisses my hand.
I might blush a little at that gesture. But I quickly pull myself together. “Luciano Giordano. That’s… interesting. In a nice way,” I add quickly. Because I know what it’s like to have someone say your name is… interesting. But his is very mob. And I don’t get it. “It was just a little… unexpected.”
“We all love the unexpected, don’t we?”
“Do we?” I don’t, I can say that for sure. But right now, I just want to play the game, get what I need, and get the fuck out of here. I feel like I just walked into an alternate reality and I don’t like it. Of all the things that have happened to me over the past week or so, this is the most unsettling. Not even the orgy room or realizing I have horns and hooves shook me the way this place does.
Luciano smiles at me like he might be following my internal monologue. “You say you have a message. And I don’t mean to pry. But, pray tell, can you give me more than that? It’s none of my business, so I don’t need details, but Tarq likes a heads up when people like you show up.”
“People like me?”
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry. That came out wrong. People who come from…” He nods his head towards the back door. And when I look over my shoulder, the tomb is gone and in its place is just a city. Like… all those tombs that should be there are now buildings in a bustling downtown.
My mouth just drops open. “Where did it go? The door? Where did it go? How do I get back!”
I’m panicking. It’s not a good look for me.
“Calm down, calm down. You came from the tomb, right?”
I nod. Swallow.
“It’s there. But it’s glamoured. You’re one of them? The monsters?”
“No! Do I look like a monster?” And that’s when I look down and realize I am. My hooves! My fur! My… no pants or shirt. I quickly rearrange my hair to make double sure this well-spoken mobster can’t get a peek at my nipples. Then I reach up, and sure enough, there they are. My horns. “Shit,” I say.
“It’s OK,” Luciano says. “We see lots of confused people come through the tombs. They get over it after their first time, but I’ve never seen you here before, have I? Because you, my dear”—he takes both of my hands, then steps back so he can see all of me at once—“you are ravishing!”
But now he’s patting my shoulder and I realize that these words are platitudes. And we’re walking, so he’s trying to get me out of here without any more fanfare. No one seems to be paying attention to us, even though my hooves are clip-clopping across the black marble floors. And it echoes.
“Tarq is this way, Pie.” I can hear the smile when he says my name. “Let’s get the two of you reunited so you can stop feeling so unsettled.”
He’s got manners, I’ll give him that. And I do feel better having him take care of things. That realization isn’t very empowering. But. Whatever. I’m losing it. Like seriously losing it. And if I have to work out a single detail about this trip into the tomb that is not a tomb, I might not recover.
Luciano ushers me through a door, then down a hallway, then through another door, a room, another hallway and I lose track. I suddenly wonder if this place is the twenty-first-century version of the Labyrinth and I’m about to meet the urban Minotaur.
We stop in front of a glass-walled office and there he is. Right on the other side.
And he looks like the urban Minotaur. He is sleek, jet-black fur. Glossy hooves. Brown skin. Long, silky black hair flowing over his hard, muscular shoulders and tied loosely at the nape of his neck. And his horns. Cheese and fucking rice, those horns. They are the horns you picture when you think monster. Nothing like the ones on my head. They scream power. And they are sharp and polished. His horns look like obsidian. Smooth and lustrous. Like this man gets a hornjob daily.
He’s in profile when we walk up to the glass door and pause, but his mouth is moving like he’s in the middle of a conversation. I can’t hear a word. The glass is thick. His office looks like any billionaire’s corner glass office. Massive wooden desk. A view to die for—and how did we get up in the air? I don’t know. We didn’t go up any stairs or take any elevators, but we are like a hundred stories up. Large birds are floating past, circling out over an ocean like we’re in New York. But none of the buildings are the iconic ones even poor people like me could recognize.
This is not New York.
There are no billionaire monster CEO’s in New York.
Well. They are all probably monsters. But not in the literal sense.
Tarq turns, sees us, then smiles. And good fucking God. That smile is… wow. Even his sharp fangs are sexy.
I don’t know what to make of this guy. He’s nothing like Pell. And while I can appreciate this stunning, god-like, A-type personality, corporate-raider monster that is Tarq—this dude’s attention scares the shit out of me and we haven’t even spoken yet.
Nope. I like my Pell. I like him shaggy. I like his tousled fur, and his striped hooves, and his glowing horns that don’t look like they were made to knock giants into another universe. Pell’s horns are just… nice. He’s just nice. This guy?
He’s still smiling at me.
I need to leave. He’s going to eat me. Or attack me. Or something worse.
But then he’s walking towards us and a glass door that was not there a moment ago is now opening right in front of my face.
“Sorry to bother you, Tarq,” Luciano says. “This is Pie Vita. She came through the tomb a few minutes ago.”
Tarq looks me up and down slowly. Like, I’m talking his eyes take their sweet-ass time traveling down my body to the tips of my hooves, and then back up—briefly resting on my mostly hidden breasts—before they find my face again. “Of course she did. Pie. Vita.” He says my name like it is two words. And his voice is deep and… wow. There’s a vibration there. It’s distracting. “I have been wondering when you’d show up.”
“What?” I want to appear as in control as this monster man in front of me, but there is no chance. And even though all I did was utter a single word, my voice trembles and I suddenly have a stomach ache. “What do you mean? When I’d show up?”
“Oh.” Tarq glances at Luciano. “She doesn’t…”
“Yeah,” Luciano says. “Yep. Nope. She’s got no clue.”
“Wait.” I put up a shaky hand. “What are we talking about here?”
“How did you get here?” Tarq is studying me again. God, I wish he would stop doing that. “Hmm? Do you remember?”
“Yes.” I squint at him. Because I feel like I’m just about to fall into a trap. But I’m here. There’s no going back. I might as well just get what I need as quickly as possible and go the hell back where I belong. “Pell and I made—well, he mostly did all the work. But I did help him get the dragon’s scales from Tomas—”
“Pell!” Tarq’s entire face lights up at the mention of my new better half. “Pell!” He’s even more delighted the second time he says the name. Then it’s like I caught him off guard. Of all the things I could’ve came here to say, the name of his old friend wasn’t in the top billion. His mouth actually drops open.
“So, we got the scales, the blood… blood… what the fuck was it called again? Oh.” I snap my fingers. “Bloodhorn. We got that flower, and then Pell did some magic shit. And, well”—I look down, look back up while pointing to my chest—“my lucky charm dragon’s bloodhorn scale is supposed to be right here. But it’s not, so… I don’t know what to tell you. I walked into your tomb and boom.” I look around and sigh. “I feel like I just fell into that old Michael Douglas movie. You know that one where he’s playing a game and shit goes all crazy?”
Tarq points at me, chuckling. “You are delightful.”
“Thank you. So. I’m just gonna get to the point because I’m feeling uncomfortable here. I don’t really look like this.” I pan my hand down my body. “I’m just a human on the other side of that tomb door. Though I’ve been told I’m a cute human. I don’t normally walk around naked except for my fur. And I never—almost never—have hooves and horns. So. I would just like to make that clear so we’re all on the same page. I am not actually a wood nymph chimera. I’m just a girl with an imaginary friend who spent a lot of time with crazy people until I learned how to lie.”
Why did I just say that?
Tarq looks at Luciano, who is once again beaming a smile, hands clasped behind his back, rocking on his feet. Tarq points at him and laughs. “You did well, my friend.”
“What? What did he do? I’m so confused.”
“What did I tell you?” Luciano says. Then he and Tarq high-five each other.
Tarq turns his attention to me. “You answered the ad.”
I cock my head in confusion. “Well.” Then I hold up a finger. “I answered an ad. Yes. But, it has nothing to do with here.” I make a little circle in front of me with my pointer finger.
Once again, Tarq looks back at Luciano. “She really doesn’t know anything, does she?”
“It’s amazing, isn’t it.”
“OK, that’s enough!” I yell this. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here. I have a purpose, OK?” I clap my hands for each of those syllables. “I’m here to get the book. Pell said you would know which one I was talking about. It’s a super-powerful, fucking whatever book. And I need it to banish the sheriff of Granite Springs because he’s a cupid, or a bloodline person. I don’t know what the hell his problem is, but he’s suddenly gained the ability to enter our sanctuary and this will not do. I will get you out of here. Or something. Pell’s real sorry you got stuck inside the tomb and he was on the outside, so he said to…”
Tarq is staring at me so hard, I swallow down my words and shut up.
“Luciano,” Tarq says. But he’s not looking at Luciano, he’s looking at me. “I’ll take it from here. I’ll send her down when I’m done with her.”
“What? Done with me? What… what are we doing, exactly?”
“Yes, sir,” Luciano croons. Then he turns and walks out of the office. I watch him through the glass walls until he’s out of my sight.
Tarq clears his throat. “So. You’re here for the book?”
I force myself to turn and look up at the sleek, jet-black monster in front of me. I try not to look him in the eyes. It’s too much. And I can’t look down at his feet or I might accidentally see his package. So I concentrate on his horns. “I’m here for the book. We need a banishing spell.”
Tarq makes a noise that might be a huff or an actual laugh. I’m not sure. “That’s so… wow. It’s just… it’s been a really long time, Pie, since anyone has said the words ‘banishing spell’ in front of me. And”—he shrugs—“it was just a simpler time, I guess.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“Let’s have a drink and sit down.”
“I can’t. I need that spell. There’s… there’s… there’s a time constraint. And, and, and… the townie people and shit. And Tomas!” Man, I am not handling this well. At all. “I need to get back. Quickly.”
“Pell is waiting for you?”
“Yes! Exactly.” I let out a breath of relief. “Yes, he’s watching for me. He’s waiting a safe distance from your tomb. So I can find the door out, obviously.”
Tarq is silent for a moment. Then he leans back and sits on the edge of his massive desk and crosses his arms. I don’t like this posture. He’s thinking, I can tell. His mind is a whirlwind of possibilities. And he’s a little bit frowny. Finally, he says, “I can’t give you the book.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t just hand over the source code, Pie. It’s… the fucking source code. It’s the secrets of the universe.”
“Oh.” I feel defeated.
“But I can give you the page you need.”
“Oh!” This time it’s brighter. “Thank you.”
“It is my pleasure. Any girl of Pell’s is a girl of mine.” His smile is wide. Like… big bad wolf wide.
“Mmm-hmm. I’m not sure about that last part there, but thank you again for the page. And I don’t want to appear ungrateful, but—”
“Oh, let me stop you there.” He puts up a hand. “You don’t need to be grateful, Pie.”
“No?” I swallow again. Because here it comes. The catch.
“No. It all evens out in the wash.” He winks at me.
I suck in a deep breath. “It can. Even out in the wash, that is. But I’m still very grateful.”
He just looks at me for a moment, still smiling. “I’m sure you are. Well.” He stands up, rubs his hands together, and looks over at a bookshelf. “Let’s find that book, shall we?”
I don’t move. But Tarq walks over to the bookshelf. There are no books on it, so for a moment, I’m confused. But he does something. I can’t see what, because his massive, sexy, muscled back is in my way. And damn. This monster here has some breeding behind him. Like his genetic stock is top-notch.
He chuckles from across the room, and then the bookcase begins to turn on a pivot point, leading to a chamber on the other side. Tarq glances over his shoulder at me. “I’ll be right back. Don’t you go anywhere, Pie Vita.”
I can’t even talk at this point. So I just nod.
He’s gone for several minutes. I want to walk over there and peek inside that chamber. Kinda get a feel for what he’s up to. But I don’t dare. I feel the need to be on the other side of the room when he comes back out.
And just a few seconds later, out he comes. Holding a page.
It’s a very pretty page. Like this page belongs in the Vatican library or something. It’s all handwritten calligraphy with gold foil illumination along the edges. It’s even got an illustration. He brings it over to his desk and puts it down. Then he points. “This is the side you want here. Banishing. The other side is something else.” He makes a point to look me in the eyes for this next part. “I would not mess with that side.”
“OK. But… should you have ripped it out of the book? I mean, maybe you should just make a copy of it. I’m not the most responsible person, ya know? I’m probably gonna ruin that page. It’s practically inevitable.”
He chuckles. “I like you.”
“Good.” I try to smile.
“But the pages regenerate. I made sure it duplicated before I came back. This one is yours to keep. You have your own book?”
“My own book? Of… spells? No. I’m new.”
He laughs again. “OK. And you’re honest. I like that. So you’re gonna wanna start a book. Keep all your spells in one place.”
“Oh. Like Grant did.”
“Grant.” His voice lowers a little. It’s almost growly.
“He was Pell’s last caretaker. I’m his replacement. He kept lots of books. But he took the good ones with him when he left. And all the shit he left me is stupid. Like… backwards-working love charm stupid.”
Tarq blinks at me. “Hmm. I have to say, Pie, this is the most interesting day I’ve had in almost two thousand years.”
“Um. Thanks. I think.”
“At any rate, the page is yours. Keep it safe, use it well, and…” He pauses to smile. “Tell Pell that now that I know where he is, I’ll come visit.”
“Wait. You can do that? Just… leave here?”
“Here?”
“Your… tomb.”
He tilts his head at me. “Does this look like a tomb?”
“No. But”—I shrug—“the hallways do weird shit. I figured that’s what’s happening here. The hallways.”
He leans over, presses a button on his desk phone, and says, “Miss Vita is done. I’m sending her down. Can you meet us at the elevator?”
“Yes, sir,” Luciano responds.
Tarq looks back at me. “Your world sounds… intriguing. But since you’re on a tight timeline, we can discuss the rest at a later date. Sound good?”
I nod enthusiastically. I just want to get the fuck out of here.
“I’ll walk you to the elevator.” He walks up to me and extends his arm.
I do not want to take his arm. Like… I cannot even stress how much I do not want to touch this monster. But there is no polite way to avoid his offer. So I place my hand on his muscled forearm and let him guide me down the hallways.
Everything is different this time, though. Luciano and I did not come up in an elevator. But Tarq leads me to one, and when the doors open, there Luciano is. Waiting for me.
I start to enter the elevator, but Tarq grabs my hand before I can fully remove it from his arm, and I have to stop and look at him.
He studies me for several long, awkward moments. Then he brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my knuckles, just like Luciano did down in the lower hall. Tarq’s eyes never leave mine as he does this. And I suddenly feel faint. Like, I’m one hundred percent certain that I am about to fall over.
But then Tarq lets go and I’m free and my head clears immediately. “Until next time, Miss Vita.”
“Yep. Thank you so much. Pell and I really appreciate this.” I hold up the page. Then I turn and make my escape.
Luciano says nothing as we descend, but I can feel his smile.
Delightful. They think I’m delightful.
And there are definitely worse things to be, but I get the feeling that ‘delightful’ is Tarq’s replacement for Pell’s ‘naïve.’
Luciano walks me out into the lower hall, which is now empty of people and looks very much the way I would expect it to look if I were back in my own sanctuary.
We stop at the large glass doors that now lead out into the cemetery.
“Thank you,” I tell him.
“It was our pleasure to help you today, Miss Vita.”
I don’t let him take my hand because I know he’s going to kiss my knuckles and I just can’t do it again. So I wave. Then turn to the glass door, open them, and…
… walk out of the tomb I entered earlier.
I’m very disoriented when this change happens and I have to look up the hill at the cathedral to get my bearings. But when I look back at the tomb, there is no door. Just that giant statue of Tarq.
Which, now that I’ve met him, doesn’t even begin to do him justice.
But then I look down and see hooves.
Not black hooves. Not Tarq’s hooves.
My hooves.