Southern Secrets by Natasha Madison
Chapter 3
Asher
I walktoward Jacob’s truck with my head down. I don’t even think about what I’ve lost, not when I looked over and saw Amelia with tears running down her cheeks. It made my stomach sink and burn. I wanted to go and comfort her, take her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was. The guilt that this accident could have been my fault rushed through me. We both looked at the blaze as the firemen tried their best to put it out as fast as possible, everyone working together.
"Asher," Jacob calls my name softly, and I look up at him. "If you want to sit this one out …"
I shake my head. "Sitting around and dwelling on this isn’t going to do anybody any good," I say.
"We’ll replace everything," Ethan says, putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing. "Or we’ll try to anyway."
"You don’t have to do that," I say. "I never had much to begin with." I shake my head, looking back at the barn. "Besides, you guys lost more than I did." I look at him, and he just looks back at the place where the barn used to stand. The orange flames burn through what remains on the ground.
As far back as I can remember, everything I’ve ever owned has fit in one plastic bag. It was a white grocery store bag with two handles. Until this fire, I still had the bag with me. I could never just throw it away. Instead, I tucked it under the clothes I had.
I was placed into foster care when I was four years old. My mother dropped me off at the babysitter with a kiss on my head, telling me she would see me later.
"There is nothing else I can do," the babysitter hissed at her husband, who was sitting beside me on the worn brown and yellow couch. She picked up the phone again. "This isn’t funny. If you don’t call me back in the next thirty minutes, I have no choice but to call the cops."
I looked from the babysitter back to the television, my stomach rumbling from not eating since I had been there. "Would you feed the kid?" her husband barked when my stomach kept interrupting what the guy on the television was saying.
With a huff, she grabbed me by my arm and brought me back into the kitchen. She set me at the table and said, "Your mother will be here soon." I just nodded and looked over at her. I waited and waited while she made mac and cheese, and for a four-year-old, it felt like forever, but she finally placed it in front of me.
Hearing a knock on the door made me look up, and I suddenly remembered how happy I was, knowing that my mom was there. I ran to the front door, only to be confronted by two police officers. They came in the front door and then went into the kitchen while I was told to sit on the couch. I couldn’t really hear anything but their mumbling. Another knock on the door made me get up, thinking for sure this was my mother.
The door opened, and a woman came in, dressed in a long skirt and a white shirt. I remember looking at her and wondering if my mom sent her to come get me. Her friends were always picking me up and taking me places.
The woman went to the kitchen, giving me a sad smile on the way there, and I just didn’t understand what was going on. "Looks like you are going into the system," the husband said from beside me. "It was just a matter of time."
One of the police officers came back out with the woman who just got there. "Hi, Asher," the woman said, sitting down next to me. "I’m Shauna, and this is Detective Moro." She pointed at the police officer standing in his blue uniform. "We are going to take you somewhere while we find your mom."
I wanted to laugh at the irony of it. I slept at someone’s house that night. I woke up the next day, hoping that my mom would be there, but for the next three days, it was the same story. No one knew anything. No one paid attention to me. The person fed me two meals a day and made sure that when Shauna came to see me, I was clean. For three days, I tried to stay awake. I constantly looked out the window for my mom, convinced she would come soon. But that wasn’t how the story would end. Four days later, they found her lying on a stainless-steel stretcher in the morgue.
She was in the car with a guy driving high and drunk and ran head-on into the median on the highway. I was a ward of the state from that day on, jumping from one foster home to the next. It didn’t take me long to realize I was a paycheck for all of them, and trust me, they let me know each day.
I feel someone push me to the side, and I blink away the memories. There is no time to dwell on the past. That was my motto from when I turned thirteen. Turning my head, I see all the men have gathered around us. Ethan stands beside me, and Beau is next to him. Casey comes close to us, but he stands just outside of the circle. His hands are going crazy on his phone. My eyes go back to the ground as I listen to Jacob give orders.
"Gentlemen," he starts. "The fire marshal wants us to secure the premises," Jacob says, and I look at him, the pounding in my head intensifying. "The fire marshal just said he doesn’t think this fire will be out anytime soon." He looks at me, then at the other guys. "It’s going to be a long night." He stops talking when he looks up and sees Casey coming back to us.
All eyes turn to him when he stands beside Jacob. "Just got off the phone with my father. He said there has been no activity on the other farms." He looks down. "But until we get any report from the fire chief, I want us to keep our eyes open." He looks at us, and I nod at him.
"Okay, let’s get this closed off and see what else we can do," Jacob says and turns to hand Ethan a roll of tape.
"I’ll go with Ethan," I say, and Jacob looks up at me and nods.
"We are going to close off the right side of the driveway," Ethan tells his father as he points in that direction. I hear Beau and Mayson talk about taking the other side, but I just put my head down and walk away with Ethan.
The heat hits my back right away. "We’ll get it all back," Ethan says, and I look over at him, then back down at the green grass. "Whatever you lost in there, my family will make sure that you get it all back."
I stop walking and turn to look back, thinking that maybe it looks worse than it is, but then one side of the barn falls, and the dust and black smoke fill the air. "Whatever I had in there wasn’t anything that I can’t replace." He holds out the tape for me. "Let’s just make sure no one gets hurt." It’s Ethan’s turn to nod. I walk toward a tree while he holds the tape, my eyes going to the barn as I see the flames still going. I wrap the yellow caution tape around the tree, then make my way over to one of the gate posts. The heat from the fire hits me right away.
We secure the one spot, making sure anyone coming by can see the tape and not enter.
The air smells of burned wood. Anyone who didn’t know would think we were having a bonfire. With the help of all the guys, we secure and make sure all entries to the barn are blocked off. The sweat drips from me as we get closer and closer to the burning barn, trying to close off as close as we can to make sure everyone stays safe.
The sound of the firemen yelling makes us look back over at the barn. We see the firemen running away from the barn, and the sound of crackling fills the silence as the rest of the barn falls to the ground. The rush of heat we feel has us holding up our arms to block our face.
We stand here in stunned silence. In a matter of hours, what is left is a pile of debris with the flames still going.
The sun goes down, and the only things that light up the barn are the lights from the two fire trucks. Jacob has us all bring our vehicles to the barn and shine our headlights in order to help.
"There is food over there. You guys should eat something," Jacob says, coming to Ethan and me with two water bottles in his hands.
"Thank you." I open the bottle and gulp down the cold water.
"The fire chief came to talk to me," Jacob says, his voice going lower so he’s not overheard.
I stop drinking when I see him look at me, and then his eyes go down. Something about his look makes the water I just drank work its way back up. "What is it?" The fear that this fire was my fault has been playing in my head over and over again. How the fuck was I going to pay to replace the whole barn? How the fuck would I be able to look into anyone’s eyes, knowing I destroyed their barn? How the fuck would I be able to forgive myself? The shock and numbness take over now, and I feel hollow inside.
“He can’t confirm it for sure,” Jacob says, my head falling as I wait for him to accuse me. But instead, the words that come out of his mouth shock me even more. “But he did say that it looks like arson.”
