Omega’s Gamble by Claire Cullen

Chapter Thirty-Two

A strained silencetook root between them as they walked back to the castle. Darien didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t angry, exactly. More… heartsick. He’d believed there was something true between them, something real. He hadn’t wanted to name it, to say it aloud. He’d been afraid that if he pushed too hard, said it too soon, Raine would pull away from him. When all the time, Raine had had one foot out the door.

His father was waiting in the study when they returned.

“Darien, good. There’s an incursion by the pirates, in the northeast. Your brothers are already on their way.”

Raine walked past them and out of the study, shutting the door behind him. The king followed his movements with a frown. “Is something wrong?”

“It didn’t go well,” was all he could think to say. “We… things between us weren’t what I thought.”

“Darien…” His father stopped and shook his head. “There’s no time for this now. Go, join your brothers. We’ll talk later.”

Darien didn’t need to be told twice, racing to the armory and then heading out with a group of guards.

The sun was setting by the time they returned to the castle, weary and cold. He couldn’t fail to see the sidelong glances his brothers kept sending him. Ignoring them, he sent a servant with a message to his father to inform him of their success and then went straight to his rooms. He stripped, washed, and dressed again, walking into his bedroom to find he wasn’t alone. Rex sat by his window while Thorne was perched on the end of his bed.

“What?” he asked tiredly, wanting nothing more than some sleep.

“We just want to know what’s up,” Thorne said simply.

“Nothing. I’m fine. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

“Is it Raine? Has something happened?” Thorne pressed.

Darien looked away, struggling to get himself under control. He wanted to lash out in anger, but neither of his brothers deserved to be its target.

“He’s leaving Stormshield.”

“What?” Rex pushed to his feet, looking as surprised as Darien had ever seen him. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am serious. He doesn’t want to be in this marriage, and he doesn’t want to return home to his father, so he found somewhere else to go.”

Thorne was shaking his head before Darien had even finished speaking.

“That makes no sense, Darien. We’ve seen you and him together. You are… more than the sum of your parts.”

Darien’s heart ached. Only that morning, he’d thought so too. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Well, I do,” Rex insisted. “You need to start from the beginning and tell us everything. Let’s get this mess straightened out.”

That was the last thing Darien wanted to do. He let his eyes stray toward the door, but Rex was in front of it a moment later, his voice a low growl.

“Oh, no. You’re not running away from this. Take a seat and start talking.”

Too tired to fight, he gave in, going to sit on the bed next to Thorne.

He talked, almost without a pause, for nearly half an hour. Rex mostly listened but Thorne interjected with questions now and then.

“Fian, that manipulative little snake,” Thorne said finally, pacing back and forth. “I knew he was up to no good when I saw him this morning.”

“But he was right, Thorne,” Darien said heavily. “Raine was planning to leave. He didn’t even try to deny it.”

“After he accused you of only caring about him because he’s an alchemist.”

“Which is ridiculous. I’ve cared about him far longer than I’ve known he had a talent for alchemy.”

“Did you tell him that?” Rex asked. “Because in all your retelling of your fight down in the caves, there seems to be a distinct lack of mention of your feelings.”

“Raine knows how I feel.”

Rex groaned. “That’s just it, you idiot. It’s clear he doesn’t.”

“What difference would that make now? He has his escape all planned out.”

“Why not leave sooner? Why stay?”

“Maybe it couldn’t be arranged before now.”

“He’s been talking to Milo for weeks, Darien. Airships carrying supplies to Everstone land here almost every week. If he didn’t leave already, it’s because he didn’t want to. Maybe he just wanted to know that he could leave, if things got bad. Or if, say, there was a chance he’d be returned to his father,” Thorne said pointedly.

Darien rubbed two fingers across the bridge of his nose, his heart sinking. “We talked about that just before we discovered he was an alchemist. Father told me that if Raine’s family kept putting pressure on us through other kingdoms, we might have to annul the marriage and send him home. We weren’t aware, at the time, how bad things were for Raine under his father’s thumb. I didn’t want to let him go, I would have done whatever I could to stop it, but Father was clear the possibility was on the table. I didn’t want to lie to Raine, so I told him the truth.”

“Then maybe his actions don’t seem so heartless looked at from his perspective,” Thorne said. “And maybe your actions, seen through an objective lens, look far more like political maneuvering than they do affairs of the heart.”

“I think what Thorne is trying to say,” Rex added, rolling his eyes, “is that you need to talk to Raine about how you feel and leave duty out of it. How’s he going to know that you love him if you don’t tell him?”

“Be clear that your feelings are for him,” Thorne said. “Not for his skill in alchemy.”

“When did you guys become relationship experts?” he groused, though he wasn’t really complaining.

Rex grinned. “We’ve got something you don’t. Perspective. You’re too close to see what’s right in front of you.”

“And what’s that?”

“A chance at a happy marriage. Like Dad’s.” Rex’s voice was soft, almost wistful, something sad in his expression. Of all of them, Darien thought it was hardest for him—he’d never known their omega father after all. Darien’s memories were faded and distant but at least he had them.

“We know you want that,” Thorne added. “Don’t let pride or duty stand in your way. Not this time.”

They didn’t stay long after that, giving Darien time alone to think. He tried to rest but sleep just wouldn’t come.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, his thoughts were filled with Raine. The way the omega’s eyes lit up when he learned something new, how his thoughts—and words—would run away with him when he was sharing a new idea with Darien. The way he’d changed from leaning away from Darien when he got too close to leaning into his touch. As if he craved their intimacy now that he knew he wouldn’t be pushed away. Because that was what Raine’s whole life had been about—being rejected by the people who were supposed to love him unconditionally. And what had Darien done that afternoon but the same thing. Pushed him away when he should have pulled him closer and assured him that he meant more to him than his worth as a third prince and an alchemist.

His fingers tangled in the leather cord around his neck, and he pushed to his feet, heading out into the castle. It was the middle of the night. The corridors were dark, the halls quiet. He met a single guard as he walked from the south wing to the north, pausing just outside. Holding the bear’s paw amulet in his palm, the metal cool against his skin, he pressed his thumb to the center. Once. Twice. Three times. He wanted Raine to know that he was thinking of him. Missing him. He felt an answering pulse, just one, but it was as good as an invitation. Entering the north wing, he stopped in the hallway between Raine’s bedroom and his parlor.

“In here, Darien,” came a weary voice. He followed it into the parlor and found Raine curled up in the armchair in front of a dying fire.

“It’s late,” the omega said. “I didn’t think I’d see you tonight.”

Darien took a few steps into the room, trying to find the words that had been so easy to turn his mind to only moments before.

“I couldn’t wait until morning. This is too important.”

Raine nodded tiredly. “You came to talk about the shield.”

“No,” he said softly, “though I understand why you would think that after our conversation this afternoon. May I sit?”

Tired eyes met his. “I think it would be better if you just said whatever it is you came to say.”

Fair enough. He hadn’t exactly earned more consideration than that.

“Do you remember the first time we met? You’d stepped off the airship all dressed up, and my brothers and I had been out scrapping on the bogs before we came to see you. I hadn’t even met you and I was so sure I had you all figured out. I thought you’d run, as far and as fast as you could. But you didn’t. You stood your ground as if you knew, in your heart, that you were exactly where you belonged and no one—not even a stubborn, pigheaded alpha—was going to tell you otherwise.”

Raine lifted his head to stare at him, his face an eerily familiar blank mask. He didn’t speak, just waited for Darien to continue.

“And then the second time we met, you surprised me all over again. I was sure there was no way you’d go through with the wedding. There I was, standing at the airship ramp, looking up at the doors I believed would always be closed because no one was ever going to choose me. And there you were. You took my breath away, you were so beautiful. But I was too stubborn to let my feelings get in the way of my certainty that I was unlovable, so I pushed you away, again and again. Only it wasn’t just me I was making miserable, it was both of us. I hurt you, and I don’t just mean that night with Fian, though that was the worst of it by far. But it wasn’t because I felt nothing for you, Raine. It was because I couldn’t believe that any feelings I had for you could possibly be reciprocated once you knew the real me. It wasn’t until I began to acknowledge how I really felt about you that things got better between us.”

“Darien…”

“Please, Raine.” If he didn’t say this now, it might be too late.

Raine nodded for him to continue, curled up tensely in his chair.

“My father always told us that there was a moment when he realized he was in love with our papa. He remembers it like it was yesterday. Now that’s something we share, because I remember the very second I realized I’d fallen in love with you. We were in my rooms, covered in mud, and cleaning up in the bathroom. Our eyes met in the mirror, and I just knew. Knew I loved you, knew that what we had was real.”

Raine uncurled and went to stand. “Wait, Darien…”

“Let me finish, please. Then you can say whatever you need to say.”

The omega settled back in his chair, his expression giving no hint as to his thoughts.

“You being an alchemist changes nothing about that moment or about my feelings. I loved you before I knew, and if you go, I’ll love you long after you leave. I hope you stay, not for the kingdom’s sake or for the shield’s sake, but because I don’t want to be parted from you. But I understand if you feel you can’t stay, and I’ll arrange for you to get to Everstone myself. If Fian knows about your plan to leave, I wouldn’t trust it to be safe passage anymore.”

“Fian?” Raine asked suddenly.

“Yes, he was the one who told me you were planning to leave for Everstone.”

“But I wasn’t, not exactly. I’d talked to Milo about it, back when things between us were still so… cold. But when our relationship turned around, I guess I stopped thinking I needed a way out.”

Darien wasn’t sure if it was the late hour, but he wasn’t following what Raine was trying to say.

“Then why arrange passage on the airship?”

“I didn’t. Fian was the one who told me about it, yesterday morning. He said Milo and Louis arranged it, but I haven’t had the chance to talk to them yet.”

“What else did he tell you?” Darien asked, suddenly suspicious that he was missing something obvious.

“He told me that you were using me. That you only pursued a relationship with me because I was useful to you, in ways you hadn’t expected, and that I’d see even more proof of that.”

“Proof?” Darien groaned when he realized what Fian meant. “The shield.” He dropped into the chair opposite Raine. “Fian told me that you were pretending to be invested in our marriage when you were really planning your escape all this time. I didn’t want to believe it, but then you accused me of using you and—”

“He set us up,” Raine concluded. “He even told me you and he were still… together. Just keeping your distance so it didn’t interfere with your plans for me.”

“Never,” Darien assured him. “I promise you, Raine. Being with Fian has been the furthest thing from my mind the past few months. It’s a good thing he’s not here right now, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for what I might say or do.”

Raine was suddenly looking at him, really looking at him, for the first time since he’d stepped into the room.

“You love me.”

“Yes.” It was an easy thing to say out loud now that he’d admitted it to himself.

“So my being an alchemist…”

“It’s an amazing thing, Raine, don’t get me wrong. It’s a part of who you are. But it’s not why I want you to stick around.”

He stood and stepped closer to the omega, holding out his hand. Raine was slow to take it, still hesitant and rightly so. He drew the omega to his feet and into his arms. Raine came willingly, clinging tightly to him.

“I didn’t want to believe what he was saying, but I let him get in my head and twist everything around. I should have just talked to you.”

“This isn’t on you,” Darien promised, kissing Raine’s cheek. “I should have been open with you, told you everything he’d said to me. The common denominator here is Fian.”

“What’s he trying to do?” Raine wondered. “Why is he trying to push us apart?”

“I think that’s a puzzle for tomorrow,” Darien said. “I don’t know about you, but I’m almost asleep on my feet.”

“Will you stay with me?” Raine asked. “Just to sleep. I don’t want to be alone.”

Darien hugged the omega tighter. “I’m not going anywhere.”