Breaking Her Bad by Michelle Mankin

 

 

 

 

 

Claire

“Are you sure this is all right?” I glanced around the storage room at Janet’s Design. It was as large as Addy’s entire apartment, and full of boxes.

“Yes, it’s okay.” Missy set her backpack down on an empty folding table. “This is all old inventory we’re getting rid of. You’re doing me a favor. Whatever you decide to take means less that I have to haul to the curb for pickup tomorrow.”

“Okay then.” I gestured to myself. “Make me over, bestie.”

Missy had been begging me to do this for weeks, and I’d caved today for a few reasons. Beyond the opportunity to improve my look and expand my wardrobe for free, I wanted to spend more time with her. More time to build up my courage. More time to determine what to do about Kyle. More time to stall because I’d mostly already decided what I was going to do.

“What would you suggest?” I asked.

Her eyes lit up like sparklers. “I was excited about the opportunity to pull together a couple of outfits for you. But I’m more jazzed about what you just said. Am I really your best friend?”

“You are.” I took her hand and squeezed it. “Definitely.”

She squeezed my hand back. “Good. Because you’re mine.” She blinked away the sudden sheen from her eyes. Withdrawing her hand from mine, she tapped her chin while sweeping her gaze over me. “First step is ditching the backpack.”

“Okay.”

That was easy and not too traumatic of a change. I slid the straps off my shoulders, and she placed it on the table beside hers.

I gave it a hard look. Kyle’s hoodie was inside it. Just thinking about when he’d given it to me made my stomach flutter. Were Missy and Tommy right about Kyle? Did he feel more for me than pity? Wondering about it had distracted throughout the rest of the school day.

“You always wear your hair up,” Missy said, breaking through my musing with her observation.

“Yes.” I nodded. “Up is practical. Otherwise, it gets in the way.”

“Practical isn’t your goal for this makeover, though, is it?”

I shook my head. It was mainly to get Kyle’s attention. I wanted him to look at me in a new light, a light that might make him see me differently. If he saw me differently, he might confide in me like he once had. He might share those secrets that Missy and Tommy knew.

Missy studied me for a long beat. “You want an outfit that makes you feel confident and will knock Kyle on his ass.”

“Definitely.” I turned my head, eyeing the labeled boxes skeptically. “But do you really think there’s anything here like that?”

“No.” She shook her head.

“Oh.” Disappointed, I dropped my chin to my chest.

“Clothes aren’t what’s important for those goals,” she said sternly. “It’s what’s inside you that you project to other people that’s important.” Her expression softened. “You have an inner light inside you, Claire, a warmth that I’m certain Kyle experienced and was reluctant to let go. You already have everything you need inside you. We’re just going to make it shine brighter.”

“Thank you.”

“Right.” She cleared her throat. When she spoke again, her tone was efficient. “So, let’s try your hair down.”

Missy placed her hands on my shoulders. Turning me away from her, she removed my ponytail holder and placed it on the table. Then she moved around me and smoothed my loosened hair around my shoulders.

“What do you think?” I bit down on my lip.

“Stunning.” She fluffed a few strands. “Your hair has a beautiful sheen and a cool wave to it.”

“To you, it’s cool.” I wrinkled my nose. “To me, it’s untamable. Then there’s my glasses. We can’t do anything to downplay those.”

“I love your glasses. They magnify your eyes, which are gorgeous.”

“Thank you.” I grabbed her hand again and squeezed it. “So are yours.”

Missy smiled, and her unusual eyes twinkled like icy blue stars. “Let’s start with dresses.” She gestured to a tall wardrobe box.

“Why dresses?” I asked.

Her gaze narrowed. “Are you planning to see Kyle tonight?”

I nodded. “If I wait too long to speak to him again, I’ll lose my nerve.”

She arched a brow. “You’re going to his apartment?”

“Will you go with me?” I asked, then gulped.

I’d heard about Kyle’s apartment, about the parties and the things that went on there. It was beyond my experience. He was so out of my league. There was more that stood between us than whether he cared about me.

She gave me a pointed look. “How were you planning to get there if I didn’t go with you?”

“I hadn’t thought the logistics through.” I shrugged. “I just knew . . . hoped you’d help me.”

“Of course I will. Just never go to his apartment alone, okay? The people who go there aren’t the type you’re used to. It’s not a safe place.”

“Isn’t his complex the same one where you live?” I asked.

“Yes. So trust me when I tell you it’s not safe.” Turning, she opened the wardrobe box.

My eyes brimmed, thinking of her living in an unsafe area all alone and sometimes sleeping in her car.

“Missy,” I said softly, placing my hand on her shoulder. “That offer still stands for you to sleep over at Addy’s anytime you want.”

“Thank you,” she said, just as softly as me. “Now, let’s see what we can find.”

Serious now, she started sliding hangers. Knowing she was changing the subject, I moved beside her, watching as she sorted through the available choices.

“Too short,” she muttered, flipping through the hangers. “Too long. Wrong color.”

“Ah,” I said as she stopped and ran her hand over a black dress with flouncy off-the-shoulder sleeves and a triple-tiered miniskirt.

“You like this one?”

“Yes, it’s pretty and feminine.”

“Still has the tags on.” She gave me a conspiratorial wink. “Don’t know how it ended up back here in the to-be-donated pile. It’s your size too. Kyle’s eyes will glaze over when he sees you wearing this length skirt. With your legs, you’ll be able to get everything you need out of him without even trying.”

I hoped it went that way. I didn’t just want him to think I looked great. I wanted him to look at me and for us to connect like we had before.

“It seems impossible.”

She wagged her finger at me. “Someone once told me just because something seems difficult or impossible doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort or the risk.”

“I’ve been thinking about that.” I pulled a breath in and let it out. “I’m willing to try.”

It certainly seemed from what my friends had shared that Kyle had taken a bunch of risks for me.

“Impossible is just an opinion, after all. And not one you or I hold.” She gave me a firm look and pointed to my temple. “Keep your mind right, your soul focused on your goal, and your heart strong.”

“I will,” I said determinedly.

Safe or not safe, strength was at the root of what I needed to prove to myself, as well as to Kyle. With whatever was going on with him, and all the insurmountable obstacles that kept us apart, he needed to know I wouldn’t crumple.

That I wasn’t a vulnerability to him but a potential source of strength.