Bratva Beast by B.B. Hamel
Fiona
It felt like my world was crumbling down around me, and for the first time in my life, I was free.
A strange contradiction warred inside of me.
I kept hearing the gunshot blast that ended my father—and kept seeing the fear in his eyes as Mack stood there with a gun pointed at his face.
The same fear that I felt all those nights. The same fear that drove Connor to shaking, sobbing tears.
The fear he deserved.
But he was still my father. Whenever I thought the worst of it was over, I suddenly remembered something good he did when I was a little kid—playing with me on the swings, making me laugh so hard I’d cry, chasing Connor around the block, throwing me into the pool, cuddling with me on the couch—and it’d be hard to feel happy about him being gone.
Everything I did was a give and a take. I was being torn in half by a tug-of-war, an invisible emotional breakdown the center.
I wanted to explain to Mack but whenever I came up with the words, they felt inadequate. Like they weren’t enough to express the strange tearing that kept happening throughout the day.
At random times, during strange moments. I made some tea and felt the sudden urge to cry for no reason. I took a shower and thought of my dad singing Frank Sinatra at the top of his lungs while Connor and I stood outside the bathroom door and laughed.
Now he was gone.
Nobody would mourn him. I knew it, and that only made it worse. There wouldn’t be anyone in the family that gave a damn he was dead. It was only me, all me.
I didn’t know how Connor would take it, but I had a feeling it would break him even more than he was already broken.
My poor baby brother. He didn’t deserve any of this.
“I was thinking, maybe we could go check on Tully.” I said it casually the next night while boiling water for pasta.
Mack had a sauce going, a few cans of good tomatoes, a little salt, a little pepper, some garlic and onions, some toasted red pepper flakes, a little red wine, a little balsamic, and bam, the house smelled divine.
“What do you need to do that for?”
“He was sort of a wreck the last time I saw him.”
“I’m not sure how that matters.”
“Come on. He’s a good kid. I just want to make sure he’s not hurt.”
Mack grunted and stirred the sauce. He frowned then reached out and tugged me against his chest. I tilted my chin up and accepted a little kiss on the tip of my nose, then the point of my cheekbone, then both of my eyelids.
Sometimes he could be so tender, it broke my heart and made me giddy for more.
“You’re a good kid.”
“I know that. I’m a little angel.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” He kissed my neck. “Angels don’t let killers slide a tongue along their clit.”
“You don’t know that. Angels might be very progressive.”
He chuckled darkly. “I have a feeling the filthy things you let me do to you disqualifies you from angel status. Maybe you’re more like a devil.”
“What are those she-devil things called? Succubi?”
“That’s right, you seduce men then eat their soul.”
“Pretty much. Does that mean you’re my prey?”
He grumbled again and smiled against my lips. “Sorry, darling. I’m too much a predator to fall for that.”
“Don’t pretend. You’re a big softie.” I patted his cheek then pushed him away. “I’m not saying we need to go up and talk to Tully, but maybe we can drive past his house? I just want to make sure he’s okay.”
“Why are you so insistent about this?”
“I feel bad.” I stared down at the pasta as it rolled along in the boiling water. “We stole his phone and stole information in his name. If the uncles figured out what we did, they’ll kill him.”
“Your family would kill someone for something so small?”
“It’s not small and you know it.”
He grunted his assent. “All right, say we did that, say we drove past his house. Would you be satisfied?”
I considered for a moment, stirring. “No, I wouldn’t.”
“I didn’t think so. The answer’s no, princess.”
“I’m honestly shocked right now. I thought you’d do anything I asked.”
“Within reason.” He moved closer again, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I felt taken, controlled. Like a big, strong man-blanket was wrapped around my body.
Strangely comforted by the killer.
“This is reasonable. I know where he hangs out. I can find him.”
“Fiona—”
“Please,” I said, turning to face him. I touched his face gently, got on my toes, kissed his lips.
He responded hungrily, fisting my hair and pinning my lips against his. I sucked in a breath through my nose and let out a little squeal of delight as he cupped my ass with his other massive palm.
“You’re a real pain, you know that?”
“Oh, you’re giving in. I can taste it already.”
“That’s not what you taste.”
“Yeah? I’m pretty sure that’s the sweet, sweet liquor of you giving me exactly what you want.”
“Actually, that’s the taste of me bending you over the bed, spanking your ass until it’s red and raw, then fucking you wildly until that tight, wet cunt clenches down around my thick cock, and you throw your head back as you mindlessly come all down my shaft.”
“But you still give me what I want.” I bit his lower lip. “Skip the dramatics.”
“I’m not dramatic.”
“You’re a little drama boy.”
He pulled me from the stove and I screamed with laughter as he turned me around, pinned me against the counter, and ripped my shorts down. I gasped, biting down onto my wrist as he whacked my ass so fast and hard that I barely felt it at first—until the sting set in.
“Oh, fuck, god damn,” I gasped, wiggling my hips, but he kept me pinned. I felt a strange sudden piercing desire run through my core.
“I’ll take you to see him, but I’m coming with you the whole time. Do you understand? We’re so close to everything falling apart and I won’t risk you, not now.”
“Yes, sir.”
His eyes smoldered when I looked over my shoulder. I loved the darkness in his gaze. “Say that again.”
I bit my lip. “Yes, sir.”
He groaned and dropped to his knees, then spread me open and licked me front to back.
I gasped. “Dinner’s going to overcook.”
“Fuck it, let it burn.” His tongue did some extremely filthy things to me—things I couldn’t quite understand, given that I was blind to what was happening, but I felt him lap at my clit then slide inside and back out again, rolling up and down like a hungry tiger.
I moaned, biting down harder—
Then another slap and I threw back my head.
He caught my hair in his fist and I felt fingers slide deeper. I groaned, body going tense and taut with desire as pleasure rocked down my spine.
“I’ll give you whatever you want, you know that,” he said in my ear, voice a rumbling mountain of lust, sending my already dizzy head into the stratosphere. “But if you’re going to ask too much of me, I’m going to take it out on your tight little cunt.”
“Be gentle.”
“Fuck that. You don’t want gentle.”
“Mack.”
He fucked me faster with his fingers, pulling my hair. “Tell me you want it.”
“Fuck me. Please.”
He groaned his need, which only sparked my desire more. His jeans came off and dropped with a clang of his belt against the tile floor.
I felt his thick head press up against my wet pussy as his hands gripped my breasts over my thin cotton shirt. My nipples were stiff and buzzing with need as he slowly sank himself inside.
I groaned and pressed back against him, taking that last inch until he was balls deep, my pussy stretched and filled to the brim. I kissed him over my shoulder, so hungry for his lips—
But he pushed me back down, pinned an arm behind my back, and fucked me.
“Oh, shit,” I gasped in surprise.
He groaned, his grunts of pleasure shocking and delightful. I moved my hips, wiggling along his shaft as he continued to take, claiming his right and his prize, and I felt wanted and needed and glorified, like I was the gift he’d always wanted. I pushed back against him, bucking and riding, writhing and moaning, sweat rolling down my skin as he took me.
Animalistic, unrelenting. Mack had a need for me that was almost overwhelming.
But that kind of desire was addictive and incredible.
Every time he looked at me, every time he touched me, it was like he rang like a bell loud and clear. Every iota, every atom of him, screamed out for more of me.
I wanted to drown in that lust.
He fucked me raw and rough, and I came in a clenching massive wave, and he wasn’t far behind. He groaned against my ear as his thick seed filled me, filled every inch of me, his body tense, then soft again.
We finished panting, breathing hard. “Fuck, Mack.” I sank down to sit on the freezing cold floor. He sat next to me. “And now I’m ready for bed.”
He laughed and put an arm around my shoulders. “That’s what you get when you get demanding.”
“I think I’m going to be a little more unreasonable from here on out.”
“Please do,” he said hotly into my ear.
I shivered with delight, and grinned, leaning against his shoulder.
He cooked the rest of the meal after that. I watched him from the floor, then the couch. He let me eat in front of the TV, and we didn’t talk about Tully again until the next morning.
* * *
“Wake up, little princess.”
I blinked up at Mack. He sat on the bed next to me. “What’s wrong?”
“I know where your boy’s gonna be.”
“Who?” I frowned at him then glared at the clock. It was just after nine. My pussy ached from the night before and my thighs were sore from the very intense and very incredible workout he gave me.
That man was a monster in every possibly way.
“Tully. Your cousin. I know where he’s going to be.”
I cleared my throat and sat up. I really needed to brush my teeth—my mouth tasted like a swamp. “Really? How?”
“He got a message from some girl named Cath. Said she’s going to meet him at the diner. I figured you’d know how to find it.”
I sat up, blinking away the sleep. “Yeah, I know it. Are you sure he’ll be there?”
“Sure enough. We should get moving if you want to make it in time.”
I considered him then touched his cheek. “You’re good to me.”
“Just want to make you happy.” He stood up and glared down like he wanted to shove me against the pillows and have his way.
Frankly, I would’ve let him, although I found it hard to imagine he had anything left after the night before.
But based on the long, slightly stiff outline of his cock in his loose gym shorts, maybe I was wrong about that.
“I’ll get up and get ready, just don’t distract me.”
“I’m not the distracting one. You’re lying there looking at my cock like you want to suck the tip off.”
“You’d like that, I bet. Fucking my mouth.” I blushed a little bit. When did I get so used to talking dirty?
He let out a soft grunt of desire. “Easy, girl, or else we’ll miss your friends. Get up and get dressed.” He left without another word and I sighed, smiling at the ceiling like an idiot. I stretched, got the blood flowing again, then climbed to my feet, brushed my teeth, took a quick shower, threw on some clothes, and headed out with Mack at my hip.
The diner was a spot in Doyle-controlled territory near Drexel’s campus. It was packed with sleepy, hungover college kids crammed into booths in sweats and sweatshirts looking like half of them might die at any moment.
Mack stood out. Half the girls in the room gaped at him openly.
But he only stood protectively at my side and scanned around like he was looking for threats.
Cath sat in the back corner behind the long counter trimmed in teal. Her hair was a mess and she looked exhausted, like she hadn’t slept. She fit in with all the other hungover young people, except she never went to college and never would. College wasn’t for Cath—it wasn’t for any of the Doyle cousins.
That wasn’t our path.
She was alone though. Tully wasn’t there, which might’ve been good. He’d likely flip out if he spotted Mack.
I touched his arm. “Why don’t you try to be a little less conspicuous and go sit over there?” I nodded toward the far end of the counter on the opposite side of the room.
“I doubt I’ll blend in.”
“Try anyway.” I kissed his cheek. At least one blonde girl gave me the dirtiest, most jealous stare I’d ever seen in my life. I stifled a laugh—it was absurd that any of these privileged college kids would ever feel jealous of me.
Although Mack had that kind of aura about him.
“Just be careful. Yell if you need me.” He kissed my neck then walked off, lumbering like a giant, and plopped down on a big teal vinyl-covered stool. The old lady working the counter ambled over to him, looking love-struck already.
Yeah, he wasn’t blending in at all. But hopefully, Tully wouldn’t notice him.
I walked over toward Cath. She glanced up and frowned in surprise but her face brightened as I slid in across from her. “How’s it going, home slice?”
“Hey, Fiona. What are you doing here?”
“Heard you and Tully had a date. I thought I might drop in.”
Her cheeks turned pink. “Date? This isn’t a date. He’s just been struggling and I wanted to check up on him and—”
“Whoa, easy there, I was kidding. Is there something going on with you two?”
“Absolutely not.”
“That means definitely yes.” I leaned toward her, grinning. “Give me the details. Have you kissed yet?”
“No! I mean, yes, but that’s—” She stopped, took a breath, let it out. “It’s complicated, okay?”
“Always is,” I said softly. Relationships in the family were never easy, no matter how they happened, but Tully and Cath were good people that deserved each other. I hoped they’d make it work.
If anyone should find real love, it was Cath.
She chewed on her cheek then glanced at the door and perked up. I followed her gaze and watched Tully walk into the room. He caught Cath’s eye, and suddenly I knew that I might be right after all, because it was like nobody else existed in the world.
He didn’t even glance in Mack’s direction.
Tully looked terrible. Both his eyes were swollen and his cheek looked like it’d been broken. His nose was crooked and he walked with a limp. But he still smiled as he approached.
Then he frowned at me.
“Hey, Tully.”
He paused at the side of the table then took a step back. “What do you want?”
“Just wanted to talk.”
“Hell, no.” He glared at Cath. “Did you tell her about this?”
“No, absolutely not. I didn’t even know you’d show up, I didn’t hear from you.”
“I lost my phone,” he muttered, then glared harder at me.
“You look like shit, Tully. What happened?”
“The uncles happened.” He shoved into the seat next to me, pinning me back against the wall. I took a sharp breath and looked over his shoulder.
Mack stared at me with fury in his eyes. I shook my head slightly, making sure he didn’t get involved.
Not yet at least.
“Why would they do this to you?”
“Someone stole my phone. Got it unlocked, I don’t know how. Texted Uncle Maguire about the drop. When they found out it wasn’t me, they weren’t happy.”
“God, Tully. I’m so sorry.”
“Fuck you.” He spit the words in my face. “Donal’s dead because of you.”
I flinched and glanced at Cath. She stared at me with her mouth hanging open.
“What’s he talking about?” she asked.
“Go ahead, Fiona. Tell Cath what happened. She should know.”
I took a breath and closed my eyes. I could still feel Tully’s angry breath and hear the rattle in his lungs.
“It happened so fast. I was with Mack—”
“Who’s Mack?”
“A guy I’ve been seeing. He’s Russian.”
“Morozov,” Tully said angrily.
Cath took a strangled breath. “You’re dating someone from another family? Fiona, how could you do that?”
“It just happened, okay?” I couldn’t tell them the whole truth. Maybe Cath would keep my secret, but Tully was much too angry. “We came out of this computer store and ran into Donal and Tully and Ferris on the street, and things got heated, and Donal attacked, then Ferris—” I stopped myself, unable to say the words out loud.
“Do you have any idea how fucked up Ferris is about what happened?” Tully asked softly. “Do you have any clue? He hasn’t left his room since then. Hasn’t stopped crying. I don’t think he’s eating. He smells like fucking shit. Just lying in bed, rolling around in his own filth. Do you have any idea?”
“I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Which was true—I didn’t mean for any of it.
And it was their fault.
If only Donal hadn’t been such an aggressive asshole, and Ferris hadn’t pulled out a gun, they’d both be okay.
Mack wouldn’t have hurt them on his own. At least, I wouldn’t have let him.
But that wasn’t how the men in the Doyle family worked. They saw one of their cousins with an enemy and they reacted exactly how their uncles taught them to react.
It was a long, unbroken chain of misery that stretched back generations. It was hundreds of years of men in the Doyle family, the Doyle clan, aggressively defending what they perceived as their own.
“Doesn’t matter what you mean. You knew something bad would happen the second you got involved with a guy like that.” His voice was strangled and on edge.
Poor Tully. I used him, and used him, and used him, and now he was stretched so thin, I thought he might tear in half.
“I know you won’t listen, but forget about me and Mack, okay? Just forget about all of this. You two should be together.”
“You don’t get to just walk away.” Tully’s jaw clenched.
“I came to make sure you were okay. Now I know you’re alive at least.”
“Fiona, wait.” Cath leaned toward me. “What’s going on with you? Why are you seeing some Russian?”
“He makes me feel something I never felt with the family.” I looked at her sadly, willing her to understand, but I didn’t think she would. Cath was a good girl, but she was a Doyle to her core. “I know neither of you will believe this, but everything’s happening for a good reason.”
“Fuck you.” Tully was on the verge of crying. “Donal didn’t die for some good reason. Donal died for some bullshit.”
“Let me past, Tully.” I stared at him, eyes narrowed. Mack was halfway out of his seat.
“Fuck. You.” He lingered in front of me, breathing hard, but he slipped out of the booth. “Don’t come around anymore, Fiona. I don’t want to see you again.”
I slid out past him and walked a few feet away. In the corner of my eye, I saw Mack relax.
“I won’t bother you again. I just came to say how sorry I am. I liked Donal too.”
Tully got back into the booth and put his head in his hands.
“Just go, Fiona,” Cath said, frowning at me like I was a stranger. She reached out and ran her fingers through Tully’s hair. “I don’t know what you want, but just go away.”
Cath got up and sat next to Tully. She stroked his arm and held him tight against her, and he started crying into her chest. She looked back at me, eyes flat and dead.
“Just go.”
I turned and I left.
Mack met me at the door. We went out together, into the heat of the mid-morning sun. I leaned against him, like Tully did to Cath, but I didn’t cry.
“Was it worth it?”
I shook my head. “Not really.”
“You get what you wanted at least?”
“He’s alive. I guess that’s all I wanted to see.”
“All right then.” He kissed my hair. “Come on, princess. I’ll take you home. You look like you need to be taken care of.”
“Is that all you think about?”
“Not sex, but I appreciate where your head’s at. I was thinking more bacon and coffee and a foot massage.”
“God, that sounds good.”
“Then let’s go.” He steered me to the car, but before I could step inside, he pinned me against the door and kissed me. I felt the blistering heat of him roll through my skin. “You didn’t do that to the kid, you know. It’s not on you.”
“You don’t know that. If we hadn’t taken the phone—”
“That’s the family. Doyle, Morozov, Lionetti, they’re all the same. They take and they break. You can’t get away from it.”
“I know you’re right but that doesn’t make it any easier.”
He tilted my chin up and made me stare into his eyes.
“Don’t take on more than you deserve. You didn’t do that to him. You didn’t get that boy killed. You didn’t drive your father to beat your brother. You didn’t pull the trigger to end that miserable bastard. None of it’s on you.”
I rapidly blinked away the welling tears. “You know just what to say to make a girl feel better.”
“Taking you home, rubbing your feet, and feeding you bacon’s what I’ll do to make you feel better. But you need to hear this first.”
“I still hate this.”
He kissed me savagely. “It’s not on you.”
I kissed him back then let him get me into the truck.
Nobody ever bothered to tell me that before. I took on so much over the years, pulled more and more responsibility inside of me and nobody once ever thought to say none of it was my fault.
And finally, here he was.
Mack, my monster.
It wasn’t my fault. He was right, he had to be right.
It wasn’t my fault.
