Luca Vitiello by Cora Reilly

CHAPTER 19

I was fucking ecstatic when Gianna finally disappeared from view on her way to her plane back to Chicago. Aria looked heartbroken. It gave me a strange sense of…unease, because I realized she felt lonely in New York. Aria whirled around and threw herself into my arms, sniffling. I caressed her back, my mind drifting to my plans for the night. They’d hopefully distract Aria from her sadness. “I thought we could grab dinner and then have a relaxing evening.”

“Sounds good,” she said quietly, but her expression flickered with anxiety. I wasn’t sure how to relieve her of her fear. All my life my purpose had been to terrify others. Soothing someone’s fear was completely out of my comfort zone.

Aria was tense throughout dinner and hardly touched her food. She was scared of the unexpected, perhaps even still scared of what I’d do, but I had absolutely no intention of being rough with her.

“Why don’t we head inside?” I suggested.

She gave a small nod.

I wasn’t a patient man. I’d never had to wait for anything in my life. I knew she was nervous, but I wanted her tonight; my cock was fucking eager to claim her. We stepped inside and Aria moved toward the liquor cabinet, reaching for the brandy. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her against me. Her eyes widened. “Don’t,” I said quietly. I didn’t want her to be drunk when I claimed her. I needed her ‘yes’ to be real.

I lifted her into my arms and carried her upstairs, hardly able to wait. I put her down on the bed, my cock straining against my pants as I climbed on top of her, claiming her lips. She tasted like fucking perfection, and I was the only one who’d ever got to taste her. That knowledge filled me with the desperate need to own her completely. I kissed her harder before I drew back and sucked one perfect, firm nipple into my mouth. Fuck. I was so hard. I helped Aria out of her dress then moved lower. I let my eyes trail over her body. She was stunning. She was only mine.

I lowered my face to her panties and pushed a tongue between her perfect pussy lips. Fuck. Perfection. My cock twitched. I drew back, gripped her flimsy panties and ripped them away before I tasted her pussy again. But my need was too fucking huge. I needed to make her mine. Mine alone. I pushed a finger into her and the thought of how it would feel to have her tight walls squeeze my cock almost sent me over the edge. I stood and got out of my clothes.

Aria lay on the bed, blonde hair spread around her, legs parted, revealing her perfect pink pussy. “You’re mine,” I growled. I’d waited so fucking long for this.

I moved between her legs and parted them, spreading her open for me and lining my cock up with her hot entrance. The sensation of her pussy against my cock was like a revelation. I’d never had sex without a condom before.

Aria’s nails sunk into my shoulders, pulling me out of my fog of desire. I glanced down. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her lips pressed together, as she waited for pain. I could feel how tense she was against my cock.

Aria leaned up and pressed her face into my neck, shaking, taking deep breaths.

Her heat beckoned me to bury my cock inside of her, but her trembling body and her tension stopped me. “Aria,” I murmured. “Look at me.”

She pulled back and opened her eyes, and fear stared back at me. She was completely terrified, and I pounced on her as if she were some whore. I lowered myself until our bodies were pressed up against each other. “I’m an asshole,” I rasped as I kissed her temple and cheek.

Those beautiful lips parted in surprise. “Why?” Her voice was a broken whisper.

I’d sworn to be gentle with her, sworn I’d protect her, and now when she needed me to be gentle the most, I acted like a fucking caveman. “You’re scared, and I almost lost control. I should know better. I should prepare you properly, and instead I almost shoved my cock into you.”

Aria moved under me and let my tip glide over her opening. She gasped fearfully and I exhaled sharply because a dark part of me wanted to shift my hips forward and finish what I’d begun. She was mine for the taking, had been for weeks. I closed my eyes, trying to get a grip on myself. That part of me, the monster, wasn’t meant for her. This was Aria, my wife, mine to protect. I would treat her like a queen. I opened my eyes and found her watching me with a mix of fear and confusion. I shifted until my head hovered over her perfect breasts and her pussy was pressed up against my abs.

“You are my wife,” I said.

Aria held me gaze and trust shone in her eyes. My fingers closed around her nipples and I tugged lightly the way she liked it. A moan was my reward, but Aria arched at the same time and made her pussy rub against my abs. Too fucking tempting.

“Stop squirming,” I said roughly. I was teetering on the edge, my darkness so damn close under my skin that it wouldn’t take much to unleash it, and that’s not something I’d ever do to Aria. I tugged at her nipple, relishing in Aria’s moans as I teased her breasts without the previous hurry. Soon she was breathless and shifting beneath me. I trailed my hand down her ribs and waist, worshipping her with my fingertips before my lips did the same. I bit the soft skin over her hipbone possessively as I kneaded her thighs.

Aria was starting to relax. I parted her legs, laying her open for me. She was glistening, and I pressed a soft kiss against her folds. She let out a small sigh, quivering. I lightly bit her inner thigh. Aria arched up, gasping, and I wedged my palms under her firm ass. Keeping my eyes on her face, I lifted her pussy to my mouth and planted another kiss to the soft flesh.

Aria whimpered, and I repeated the motion. Her eyes opened and they were filled with need. She enjoyed having her pussy kissed like this. My eyes locked on hers. I parted her a bit more and kissed her tight opening, my lips brushing her soft inner folds. Aria’s lips parted in a soft moan. Her heady scent reached my nose and I spread her open with my thumbs, revealing her juices. I lapped them up, and she trembled with need and rewarded me with another wave of her sweetness. I loved her taste, and I fucking loved that she responded so eagerly. She grew wetter and wetter as I sucked at her lips lightly. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she moaned and whimpered, as she squeezed her eyes shut and jerked her pussy against me. I circled her opening lightly and her walls clenched. My cock jerked against the mattress, but I needed to be patient, and so I trailed my tongue up, never to her clit.

“Luca, please,” she begged, lifting her hips, and fuck, I almost lost it.

“You want this?” I brushed her clit and she moaned.

“Yes.”

“Soon,” I growled and eased a finger into her slowly. So damn tight. I ran my tongue around my finger and Aria’s entrance, then trailed it up to her nub. Aria moaned as I closed my lips gently around her clit and began to suck.

“Tell me when you come,” I murmured before I continued my suckling. My finger slid easier in and out of Aria’s channel as she grew wetter.

“I’m com—”

I quickly retracted my finger and pushed two fingers in. Fuck, she was tight. Her face flashed with pain and pleasure as her walls clenched around my fingers. I kissed her thigh then groaned from the grip of her walls on my fingers. “You’re so fucking tight, Aria. Your muscles are squeezing the life out of my fingers.”

Fuck, this shouldn’t have excited me as much as it did.

Aria peered down at me, face flushed. I slowly pulled my fingers out a bit but she tensed even more and winced. I slid back in and established a slow, gentle rhythm of my fingers fucking her.

“Relax,” I said, but she didn’t. “I need to widen you, principessa.”

If she was already this tense with only two fingers, getting my cock inside her would be a fucking disaster. I circled her clit with my tongue lightly until she let out a soft sigh, her walls easing their grip around my fingers as she grew even more aroused.

When she relaxed, I pulled my fingers out and moved up, hovering over her. I gently pushed her legs farther apart and lined my cock up with her entrance. My cock looked fucking huge against her pink pussy, and it gave me a thrill, knowing how tightly she’d grip me. She tensed when my tip brushed her opening. I lowered myself and left gentle kisses on her face, hoping it would take some of her fear. “Aria,” I rasped. She raised her gaze to mine, blue eyes swirling with anxiety. She wrapped her arms around me, shaking fingers touching my back. She gave me a tense smile. Fuck. I wanted to protect and care for this woman.

I increased the pressure on Aria’s entrance, trying to get past her clenched walls, but she was tense. I could have broken through her tension with more force, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. “Relax,” I said, cupping her cheek and kissing her lips. “I’m not even in yet.”

I ran my fingertips down her side before I gripped her thigh and parted her further for me, hoping it would allow me to enter her more easily. Shifting my hips and gritting my teeth, I slid into her about an inch. She dug her nails into my skin, her face flashing with pain, her body tensing even further in expectation of more pain. The grip of her walls brought a blinding wave of pleasure. Only the look at her pain-stricken face allowed me to stay in control and not seek more of the pleasure her tightness could offer me. Aria whimpered, a sound that sliced cleanly through me. I’d heard cries of agony that had bothered me not a fucking bit, but this…

I stopped and started stroking Aria’s breasts, hoping it would allow her body to adapt to the penetration.

“You are so beautiful,” I whispered into her ear, not even sure where those words came from. I’d never sweet-talked a woman. If anything, I told them how I wanted to fuck them. “So perfect, principessa.”

My words finally made Aria relax and her eyes shone with gratefulness. She shouldn’t have felt that way about me, not when it was me who hurt her, who pushed her past her boundaries because I didn’t want to wait any longer to lay claim on her. I knew all that and still I didn’t stop, couldn’t fucking stop. The need to finally have this woman was too strong, and I was a bastard.

I eased my cock deeper into her and she tensed again. Kissing her, I rasped, “Almost there.” It was a fucking lie. I wasn’t even halfway in. I moved a hand between us and rubbed her clit, hoping to get her to relax with pleasure.

Aria released a small huff, her lips parting, and hesitant flickers of pleasure showed on her face. Soon Aria softened around me and let out hesitant moans.

I didn’t warn her before I thrust the rest of the way into her, breaking through her body’s resistance with more force than I’d planned. Aria arched under me, gasping, her eyes closing under the force of the pain. I stilled, overwhelmed by the sensations of her tightness and the look of pain on her face. She pressed up to me, her breathing harsh against my throat, her body trembling.

I slid out slowly, but she choked, “Please don’t move.”

I froze at the begging note in my wife’s voice. I pushed up and nudged her face up. It took a moment before she met my gaze. Her eyes were teary and filled with acute embarrassment. She swallowed hard.

“Does it hurt that much?”

“No, not that much.” She winced, tensing even further around my cock, sending a jolt of pleasure through my body. “It’s okay, Luca. Just move. I won’t be mad at you. You don’t have to hold back for me. Just get it over with.”

I stared at my wife, realizing how strongly I hated the idea of hurting her. “Do you think I want to use you like that? I can see how fucking painful this is. I’ve done many horrible things in my life, but I won’t add this to my list.”

“Why? You hurt people all the time. You don’t have to pretend to care for my feelings only because we’re married.”

How could she think I didn’t care about her? I’d never treated anyone like I treated her, never felt this strong protectiveness toward another person. “What makes you think I have to pretend?”

Aria’s expression flickered with hope as her eyes searched mine, and the look in them tightened my chest. Fuck, she shouldn’t be looking at me like that.

“Tell me what to do.”

Her fingers stroked my shoulder blade gently. “Can you hold me close for a while? But don’t move.” Again the acute embarrassment mingled with a hint of begging as if she still wasn’t sure I would ignore her request. I wasn’t going to be that kind of monster with her, not today, not ever.

“I won’t.” I kissed her lips then lowered myself completely. The movement caused her walls to cling tightly to my cock and, for a second, I was sure I’d go insane from the force of the sensations. Instead I focused on Aria and carefully wrapped her in my arms, holding her tightly. I kissed her again, slowly, gently, so unlike any kiss I’d ever had before. Aria’s closeness, the feel of her body softening under my gentleness, the tender trust in her expression…it filled my chest with a strange sense of peace and warmth. I trailed my palm down her side and hip then back up. Shifting, I brought my hand between us to tease her breasts, hoping it would relax her. She was beautifully responsive as usual, and I felt her body’s gradual softening, growing used to the intrusion. Despite my need to move, to feel Aria’s walls sliding around me, I stayed still. Aria arched when I flicked her nipple and she pulled away from my lips. Her breathing was ragged and her lips were swollen from our kiss. She was so fucking sexy.

Aria smiled softly. “Can you still…?”

I almost laughed but stifled the reaction. Instead, I carefully moved my hips, allowing Aria to feel my boner shift inside of her. Surprise crossed her face.

“I told you I’m not a good man. Even though I know you’re hurting, I still have a boner because I’m inside you,” I told her because it was the truth. If I were a good man, I wouldn’t have pushed her, would have given her all the time she needed, but I was a goddamn bastard, even when I tried not to be one with her.

Aria stroked my back. “Because you want me,” she whispered. There was a hint of uncertainty in her voice. How could she have any doubt about it?

“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” Again the truth. A truth that I shouldn’t have voiced aloud because it gave Aria power, because it showed her how much I burnt up for her closeness, and not just the sex. Fuck, not just the sex.

“Can we go slow?” Aria asked, a small, apologetic smile tugging at her lips. As if she had reason to apologize for that.

“Of course, principessa,” I said firmly. I regarded her expression closely as I began to move, making sure to keep my motion as controlled and gentle as possible. My muscles quivered from the effort it took. It was something alien to me, something I’d never done before.

Aria released a small breath, her brows drawing together. Discomfort, but not as bad as before.

I never took my eyes off her as I slid in and out slowly. My pleasure coiled tighter and tighter, causing my leg muscles to quiver. My body screamed at me to go faster, but I shoved down my own need. Another first. Aria wasn’t the only one who shared her firsts with me. Only mine were a bit different. I repositioned my knees and shifted the angle. She jerked with a gasp.

I fell out of rhythm. “Did that hurt?”

Aria gave a small shake of her head. “No, it felt good.”

Finally. I angled my thrust the same way, then kissed Aria’s parted lips, tasting her, needing her even closer when we were already closer than I’d ever been with someone before. The pulsating need in my balls, in my entire body, turned into a low burn of desire. Aria shifted slightly under me and I could feel her body becoming a bit tenser, and definitely not because she was going to come. “Are you okay?” I asked.

Embarrassment crossed her flushed face. “How long until you…?”

“Not long, if I go a bit faster.”

I wasn’t sure if Aria’s body would be able to handle it. Not that I would slam into her like a fucking animal, but this level of gentle sex wasn’t going to make me come. Aria nodded, giving me the permission I needed.

I pushed up onto my elbows and sped up, hitting deeper and harder. My balls soon began to clench, the familiar pulse of desire returning. Aria clung to me, her body coiling even tighter, squeezing my cock. Fuck, this felt like paradise. “Aria?” I ground out when she flinched after another thrust.

“Keep going. Please. I want you to come.”

A goddamn bastard, that’s what I was, but I was beyond stopping now. My balls tightened, waves of pleasure radiating out from my cock, and I snapped, groaning, my thrusts becoming jerky as I shot my cum into her. My cock twitched and twitched as if I hadn’t had sex in years. A strong wave of possessiveness burnt through me, but beneath it was a warmer emotion that was entirely foreign. I kissed Aria’s throat, feeling her pulse race under my lips. Her warm breath fanned over my skin, ragged like mine. Her palms stroked my back, fingers soft and trembling. My wife. The woman I’d protect at any cost, even if it meant killing my father.

I closed my eyes for a moment, relishing in the feel of her pliable body under mine, in her sweet scent now mingling with mine, and a darker note of sex. Mine. Goddamn mine.

I carefully slid out of her and stretched out on the bed, then tugged her toward me, wrapping my arms around her. I did it without thinking, wanting her close. I knew she would need my closeness now, but when I stroked her flushed face, I realized it wasn’t the only reason why I held her in my arms. She wanted to see the good in me when no one had ever bothered, and I wasn’t entirely sure there was something inside of me worthy of the label ‘good.’

Aria’s eyes widened then darted down. In my after-sex stupor, it took me a second to realize why. My cum. Kissing her temple, I slid out of bed. “I’ll get a washcloth.”

I moved into the bathroom and my eyes landed on my cock. It was covered in blood. Aria had been so damn tight. It had been thrilling and torturous at once. I cleaned myself and soaked a washcloth with warm water before I returned to the bedroom, finding her staring at the bloodstains on the sheets. “There’s much more blood than the fake scene you created during our wedding night,” she whispered.

I sank down beside my wife and gently parted her legs. Her pussy was swollen and smeared with blood. The sight tightened my chest because it was another reminder of how painful it had been for her. Giving pain was something I’d always been good at. I pressed the cloth to her sore flesh, earning a gasp.

I kissed her knee, fucking relieved that this wasn’t our wedding night, that I wouldn’t have to present these sheets. “You were a lot tighter than I thought,” I said quietly. The red in Aria’s cheeks became more pronounced. I threw away the washcloth before I pressed my palm against her lower belly. Her muscles contracted under the touch and I had to resist the urge to slide lower again. Aria wouldn’t be ready for sex in a while. “How bad is it?” I asked.

Aria stretched out on the mattress before me. “Not that bad. How can I complain when you’re covered in scars from knife and bullet wounds?”

I shook my head. That wasn’t the point. She wasn’t meant to ever experience pain. I wouldn’t fucking allow it. “We’re not talking about me. I want to know how you feel, Aria. On a scale of one to ten, how much does it hurt?”

“Now? Five?”

Fuck. Five now? I’d hoped for five during. I laid down beside her and wrapped an arm around her. She regarded me with that hint of shyness and a flicker of relief. Relief because she got her first time over and done with. Not the most ego-boosting thought. “And during?”

Aria looked away, licking her lips. “If ten is for the worst pain I’ve ever felt, then eight.” There was a note to her voice that told me she was still not telling the truth. Damn it.

“The truth.”

“Ten.”

I stroked her belly. Aria’s admittance didn’t sit well with me, even if I reminded myself that she had a different pain level than I did. I never wanted to be the one who caused her that much pain. “Next time will be better.” I hoped it would be. I wasn’t sure how to make this easier for her. She was petite and nervous, and I was an asshole that burned with the need to have her.

Aria gave me an apologetic look. “I don’t think I can again so soon.”

“I didn’t mean now. You’ll be sore for a while.” I still wanted her, maybe more than ever. Claiming her definitely hadn’t sated my desire for her, or the need to have her as close as possible. It was unnerving.

“On a scale of one to ten, how fast and hard did you go? The truth,” Aria asked in a teasing voice.

I considered lying, but for some reason I didn’t want to. I wanted Aria to know the truth about every aspect of me, the bad, the worst. I wasn’t even sure why. I’d never bothered sharing anything with anyone except for Matteo.

“Two,” I said, watching her closely as I did. She tensed, shock flashing across her face. I’d gone as gentle with her as I was capable of. I’d never been this close to someone while sex, never gone as slow, or tried to pay attention to a woman’s facial expressions to make sure she was okay.

“Two?”

“We have time. I’ll go as gentle as you need me to.” Fuck, and it was the honest to God truth. If Aria needed me to, I’d go the vanilla route for months.

Aria smiled in a way that went straight through me. It was a look I wanted to see as often as possible. “I can’t believe Luca—The Vise—Vitiello said ‘gentle.’”

My men wouldn’t believe it if anyone told them I could be gentle. And my father, my fucking father, he’d lose his shit. He’d demand I fucking grow a pair and beat my wife into submission. He’d never understand that it didn’t show strength to abuse someone who couldn’t protect themselves, someone meant to be under your protection. A man should know whom to treat with care and whom to crush. I touched Aria’s cheek and leaned in, murmuring, “It’ll be our secret.” It had to be. Nobody could know. If my father considered Aria a risk to my ruthlessness, he’d kill her immediately. I’d end his miserable life, would show him that the same sadistic streak he had ran deeply in my veins, but it wouldn’t save Aria.

Nothing would ever happen to her. Not as long as I was alive. I’d kill anyone who dared to consider hurting her.

Aria nodded, her expression softening. “Thanks for being gentle. I never thought you would be.”

“Believe me, nobody’s more surprised about this than me,” I said. Gentleness wasn’t in my nature, never had been, and I doubted it would ever be something anyone else but Aria would get to experience.

Aria turned to me and pressed against my side, her head on my shoulder. I tightened my hold on her. She let out a small sigh as if I’d given her a fucking gift for allowing closeness. I lightly stroked the soft skin of her waist, feeling a sense of calm.

“You’ve never been gentle to someone?”

I wrecked my brain for a moment in my life when I’d shown a softer side of me, but the only memory I came up with was when I was a boy of five. I’d found my mother crying in her bed and had walked over to her even though I wasn’t allowed in her bedroom. I had been scared by her wailing and had touched her hand to stop her. My mother had jerked her hand away and Father had come in a moment later. He’d dragged me out and beaten me for trying to cater to the silly whims of a woman. “No. Our father taught Matteo and me that any kind of gentleness was a weakness. And there was never any room in my life for it,” I said. All the sentimental baggage from my past wasn’t something I wanted to lay in the open, not even to my wife.

“What about the girls you were with?” Aria asked. Her voice shook with a hint of worry and jealousy. I peered down at her blond crown, her naked body stretched out beside mine, elegant, breathtakingly gorgeous, mine. It was understandable that she worried about other women after the Grace incident, but I didn’t have the slightest intention to ever touch another women again, and all the women of my past had meant nothing. I didn’t even remember most of their names or faces.

“They were a means to an end. I wanted to fuck, so I looked for a girl and fucked her. It was hard and fast, definitely not gentle. I mostly fucked them from behind so I didn’t have to look them in the eyes and pretend I gave a shit about them.”

Aria surprised me by kissing my Famiglia tattoo, her lips soft. I held her even tighter, not sure how to react to her loveliness, her innocent tenderness. It wasn’t something I’d ever been on the receiving end of. I wanted to give her something as meaningful in return, and there was only one way I could do it. “The only person who could have taught me how to be gentle was my mother,” I said, even as the words felt like shrapnel in my throat. I didn’t like talking about her, or even remembering her. “But she killed herself when I was nine.”

“I’m sorry,” Aria whispered, tilting her head back to meet my gaze. She pressed her soft palm against my cheek. No one had ever done something like that before Aria, and whenever I’d witnessed that sort of affectionate gesture with other people, I’d wondered why the hell anyone would touch a cheek or would want their cheek touched when they could have their cock sucked. A fucking cheek. But this felt good. Not as good as the other, but damn good anyway. Aria’s eyes held compassion, but I didn’t want to dwell in the past.

“Does it still hurt?” I asked, and when it became clear that she wasn’t sure what I was talking about, I brushed my fingertips over her abdomen.

Aria blushed, golden lashes fluttering in embarrassment. “Yeah, but talking helps.”

“How does it help?” It seemed impossible for mere words to do that. When I was in agony, I definitely didn’t want to talk to anyone, much less listen to anyone’s rambling, even though Matteo mostly ignored my wishes.

“It distracts me,” Aria admitted, her eyes still on mine. It was the longest she’d ever held my gaze, and I had to admit I enjoyed it. “Can you tell me more about your mother?”

There were so many things I remembered as if they’d happened yesterday, but none of them were happy. I wasn’t sure if my mother and I had shared a single happy memory, if anything hadn’t been tainted by my father’s brutal shadow. “My father hit her. He raped her. I was young, but I understood what was going on. She couldn’t bear my father anymore, so she decided to slice her wrists and overdose on dope.”

Aria shivered. I wasn’t sure if it was because she imagined what my mother had gone through. I was fairly sure Aria had worried it would be her fate as well. The mere idea that I could do to Aria what my father had done to my mother, that Aria would lie under me broken and terrified, made me want to take a shower.

“She shouldn’t have left you and Matteo alone.”

This was what got to her? Aria was too kind, too good for me, and as usual she barreled straight through another one of my walls. I’d spent all my life building them, strong as steal, and here she was taking them down without realizing it. “I found her.”

Aria sucked in her breath and those blue eyes filled with tears. Tears for me. “You found your mother after she’d cut her wrists?”

Emotions squeezed my chest, but I shoved them down, deep deep down where they belonged. “That was actually the first body I saw. Of course it wasn’t the last,” I said, glad that my voice was firm and hard.

“This is horrible. You must have been terrified. You were only a boy.”

I had been a child and I hadn’t been. My life had always been filled with blood and violence, with the cries of my mother at night. “It made me tough. At some point, every boy has to lose his innocence. The mafia isn’t a place for the weak.”

“Emotions aren’t a weakness.”

I searched Aria’s eyes. The softness and compassion in them were already a risk. Those were emotions I couldn’t risk, definitely not in public, and even behind closed doors they weren’t wise. I needed to be tough as steal, feared and brutal, if I wanted to rule over the Familgia one day, and until then I had to keep my bastard of a father off my back. “Yes, they are. Enemies always aim where they can hurt you most.”

Father would use Aria against me in his fucking mind games if he thought she was more to me than a pretty fuck thing I could dominate and brutalize. He posed as much of a risk for my wife as the Bratva, maybe more because my options to protect her from him were limited for now.

“And where would the Bratva aim if they wanted to hurt you?” Aria asked softly, sounding hopeful and curious at once. My gaze traced the tender lines of her face.

Since Matteo was strong enough to defend himself, there had been no one my enemies could have used as leverage against me. They knew I didn’t give a fuck about anyone, only the Famiglia. My life was devoted to the mafia, my only goal in life to become Capo. I had been raised with only this purpose. Everything else was supposed to be irrelevant, especially a woman. Women could be replaced. That’s what Father had taught Matteo and me, and it was something he’d lived by. It hadn’t taken him long to replace Mother with Nina.

The look in Aria’s eyes hammered away at another of my walls, but I couldn’t let her. I turned off the lights, needing the dark to hide the emotion in her face. “They won’t ever find out,” I said.

Aria released a small breath, deflating against me. She needed to stop wishing for something I couldn’t give her, wouldn’t give her for both our sakes. It would have been easy to crush her hopes, to nip her emotions in the bud. A few cruel words that always came so easily for me. I got what I wanted, stop the fucking emotional bullshit. All I give a fuck about is your tight pussy milking my cock. You’re nothing to me but spread legs to relieve tension. Those words would have cut Aria to the bone, they would have stopped her from prying past my walls ever again. She would have believed them to be true, no doubt, because they were words more fitting to the man I was than the sweet nothings I’d murmured while taking her virginity. Everyone would believe them to reflect the true nature of my feelings for the woman beside me. The words lingered on my tongue, needed to be said to protect Aria and my claim to power, but I couldn’t get them past my lips. I couldn’t fucking lie to Aria like that, couldn’t crush her like that.

But most of all, I couldn’t bear the thought of how she’d look at me afterwards, of how she’d never give me that small, trusting smile again.