The Hardest Fall by Ella Maise

Chapter Fifteen

Zoe

Iwas doing it. I was really doing it.

I was about to board a plane with Mark, Chris, Dylan, and their whole freaking team.

We were supposed to take the same bus to the airport as the team, but both Miriam and the guy who was coming with us for the interviews, Cash, had been late. Instead of braving it and getting on the bus on my own, I’d opted to take an Uber to the airport with them.

As Cash and Miriam chatted away during the ride over, I was worrying about how my sudden appearance would go over. Neither Mark nor Dylan knew I was joining them for the game. I could’ve and should’ve told Dylan, but after the week he’d had with what had happened to his friend, I’d barely seen him after the night I’d found him sitting in the dark. Even when I did, he usually went to his room to crash as soon as he walked through the door.

That evening had been the second time we’d held hands for what seemed like hours and didn’t even acknowledge it afterward. I wasn’t sure if he saw it as a normal thing, but if you asked my heart and the butterflies that seemed to make a home in my stomach, it was very far from a normal occurrence. It didn’t help that I could still feel the impression of his hand around mine. If I made a fist, I could almost mimic the exact same pressure I’d felt when his hand had squeezed tight around mine.

Miriam’s bag bumped my shin as she wheeled her carry-on bag toward the escalator.

“Shit.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Zoe.” She stopped next to me and released a big sigh. “It’s lunchtime and I didn’t even have breakfast yet. Do you think they’ll give out snacks?”

“It’s not a commercial flight, so I doubt that.”

“You’re right, I guess. I’m hoping there is good food at—”

“What are you doing standing around? They’re waiting for us. Hurry up,” Cash yelled as he passed us in a slow jog. He was wearing a short trench coat even though it was still warm, and he had a wrapped burrito in one hand while he hugged his laptop to his chest, a duffel bag in the other. He was a complete mess.

“I call dibs,” Miriam said quietly, leaning toward me.

“What?”

“Cash—I call dibs on him,” she repeated before following the guy in question up the stairs.

She could have him, all right.

I took my sweet time getting up those steps, so it was no wonder I was the very last person to board the plane. I hated that the anticipation of Mark’s reaction was affecting me to the point that I was on the verge of dragging my feet like a six-year-old.

The plane was filled with chatter and guys…so many guys. Some were standing up, pushing their bags into the overhead bins, some were laughing, some singing.

When I saw that Cash and Miriam were still lingering where the rows of seats started, I considered hiding behind them for a brief moment. If I ducked my head, there was a strong possibility that Mark wouldn’t see me, but then Miriam and Cash moved. If I didn’t want to run the last few steps that separated us—and I did not—I was doomed to make the walk down the aisle with my head held up high. He’d see me at the hotel anyway, and trying to hide made me feel stupid.

Feeling like I was getting ready to step in front of the firing squad, I squared my shoulders and started following my companions.

I spotted Mark before he could spot me. He was sitting right at the front in a window seat, and he was talking to another guy who I guessed was one of the other coaches. I was just walking past him when Miriam stopped in front of me. In my haste to escape, I bumped into her back, and she gave me a curious look over her shoulder. I mouthed an apology and made sure I had my back to Mark at all times.

My eyes slid to an older guy who had risen up from his aisle seat and put his hand on Cash’s shoulder.

“Boys!” he shouted. When the chatter didn’t quiet down, he tried again. “Hey!”

All eyes turned to us. The plane went silent, but there was definitely a roar in my ears. I didn’t know how many players traveled with the team, but to me, it looked and felt like there were hundreds of eyes on us. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat.

Out of the corner of my eye, I looked at Mark and saw that he was still deep in conversation with his seatmate.

“I want you to meet Cash. He is with the school’s paper and will be interviewing some of you.” He stopped yelling, turned to Miriam, and in a lower voice, asked her name. After her, it was my turn. I practically leaned all the way over Miriam to give him my name so Mark wouldn’t hear me, which was stupid since it was about to be shouted in a matter of seconds.

“And this is Miriam and Zoe. They’ll be taking photographs of you. Be nice to them—and when I say nice, I mean respectful. I don’t want to hear a single complaint.”

My mouth had gone dry, not only because I could feel Mark’s eyes boring into the side of my head as he realized I was on the plane, but also because this was my worst nightmare. Walking through rows and rows of seats where every single eyeball was on you? Yeah, I could already feel the heat on my cheeks.

When we finally started to walk, the chatter on the plane picked up again. On the way to our seats, which were at the very back of the plane, we got a few quiet whistles, a few casual greetings, and a few quiet murmurings about posing nude; as a reaction to the latter, I stepped on Miriam’s heels—twice.

We must’ve been only halfway to our seats when I heard his voice, and something melted in me.

“Zoe?”

I lifted my eyes up for the first time and met Dylan’s confused gaze. He was sitting in the middle seat when he called my name, and I watched him slowly take off his black headphones and stand up. Somehow seeing him centered something inside me. An unexpected warmth spread through my body and I was able to release a long breath.

“Hi,” I mumbled with a small wave, and when I realized Miriam and Cash were getting farther away from me, I pulled my carry-on behind me and started a jog to catch up. Looking over my shoulder, I made sure to send another quick wave Dylan’s way. I felt like a little baby duckling being left behind in the middle of nowhere, so it was important to catch up.

When we finally reached our seats, I was ready to shout hallelujah. After Cash helped us with our bags, he took the window seat. Miriam gave me a pointed look and followed him. I took the aisle seat.

“What’s wrong with you? You’re acting weird,” she whispered into my ear.

I clutched my bag to my stomach and gave her a small shrug. When I lifted my gaze over the seat in front of me, I realized Dylan was still standing up, his back to me. I watched him lean down and say something to his friend. Was it Chris sitting next to him? I hadn’t even noticed. In my panicked state, Dylan had been all I could see.

A moment later, he stepped into the aisle and started moving toward the back of the plane…toward me. It took him some time to reach us because he stopped to talk to his friends every now and then on his way.

Eventually, he stopped right next to my seat and I smiled up at him.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“What’s going on?”

My smile shifted from small to big. “Nothing.”

He laughed and shook his head. Holding on to my armrest, he crouched on his heels.

“You’re coming with the team? To photograph us?”

Forgetting all about Miriam and Cash, I turned my body to face him. He was pulling on me like a magnet, it seemed. I went to put my hands next to his, but they were in the way so I kept mine to myself. “Yeah. It’s for something the school paper is working on, I think. My photography professor asked us if we could go, so here we are.”

His eyes warmed. “Here you are. Why didn’t you tell me? Wait.” He stood up and lifted the headphones off the head of the guy sitting in the seat across the aisle from me. “Drew, take my seat.”

Just like that, the guy jumped up and Dylan took his place.

As he sat down, a flight attendant appeared from behind us.

With a smile fixed on her face, she said, “Seatbelts, please. We’ll be taking off in a few minutes.”

Nodding, I fastened my seatbelt, and Dylan did the same.

When our eyes met again, I smiled. “Hi.”

My heart leapt at the sight of his easy smile, always so open and warm.

“Hi yourself.”

“Dylan.”

The unexpected voice startled both of us.

“Get back to your seat. I need to talk to you and Chris about a few changes we’re going to make,” said Mark. I noticed the guy waiting just behind him, the one Dylan had swapped seats with. He looked just as uncomfortable as we did.

Intentionally, I kept my eyes on Dylan’s face and watched his brow draw together in confusion.

“Coach, we already have a meeting right after we—”

“Back to your seat, son.”

Son.

Was that his way of saying Dylan was off limits too? I couldn’t be friends or friendly with the guy he himself had sent to live with me? Sure, when he’d given him the apartment keys, he hadn’t expected me to be in the apartment, but still, I was living with the guy.

Dylan did what he asked and undid his belt to get up, but when his eyes found mine, he was still sporting a scowl. I dragged my eyes back to Mark then pointedly looked away before he could say anything.

* * *

It wasafter we had entered the hotel we’d be staying in for the weekend when I next saw Dylan and Chris. He broke off from his friends when he noticed me standing apart from Miriam and Cash and made his way to my side. He was wearing his black sweatpants, and I could’ve sworn he had a dozen or more of them in different shades of gray and black, just so he could make a girl go crazy. My personal favorite was the light gray. A tight black t-shirt covered his torso and pulled all the attention to his biceps and chest.

“Which room are you in?” he asked, head tilted, eyes on the envelope in my hand.

“Uh, let me check.” I forced my eyes away from his body and opened the envelope I’d picked up from a table where the hotel employees had lined up dozens of them. “Room 412. I’m sharing with Miriam.”

He gave me a chin lift. “We’re on the same floor. I’m with Chris.”

One of his teammates drew his attention by slapping his shoulder so he turned away. I looked around me. Mark was nowhere to be found, but the other coaches were busy trying to wrangle all the guys. Some of them were handing out sheets of paper while others were simply huddled together and talking. My eyes found Chris and when I saw him glancing my way, I forced a smile on my lips, not sure how I was supposed to react. Instead of smiling back like I’d hoped he would, he shook his head and turned back to talk to one of his friends. Feeling more and more alone by the second, I pulled my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and sent a group text to Jared and Kayla.

Me: Okay, we landed and made it to the hotel. There are so many people and I know no one other than Dylan. Oh, and Mark is pissed at me. When I say pissed, I mean PISSED! But I ignored him on the plane so be proud of me. I’m only texting you guys because I have no idea what I’m supposed to do and instead of standing in the middle of the lobby looking around like a little fish out of water, I need something to do with my hands. Write back so I can stop talking to myself like a weirdo and have a meaningful conversation with you guys instead. Quick. Quick.

“Here.”

Lifting my head, I saw that Miriam was handing me one of the papers the coaches were handing out.

I reached for it. “Thank you.” It was a detailed schedule of what the team was supposed to do and where they were supposed to be at any given moment.

“Cash wants us to take photos of their dinner, just how they interact I think, maybe get a few shots of everyone while they’re eating. After that, we’re free for tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll trail him and do whatever he asks us to do. He said it’ll mostly be meetings, warm-ups, and then the game. We’ll have a meeting of our own at breakfast and he’ll give us more details.”

I nodded and looked up from the detailed schedule. “Sounds good. I think I’m going to skip snack time and head up to our room. Are you coming?”

She looked over her shoulder to where Cash was talking with one of the players. “I think I’ll stick around.”

“Okay then,” I murmured to myself when she walked away after a quick wave.

Dragging my teeth along my lip, I looked around again. Half of the players were already gone. I saw a few standing around the elevators and a few walking toward the back of the hotel where I assumed the snacks were waiting, if the sign with the team logo and Meal Room written on it was anything to go by. I glanced around to see if I could spot Dylan, but with lobby still being so busy, I’d lost him. Pulling my carry-on behind me, I headed toward the elevators.

My phone pinged with a new message.

I let out a huge breath and filed into the elevator with three other players. Even though they were talking among themselves about the following day’s game, I could still feel their curious eyes on me. Ducking my head, I focused on my phone.

While I was hoping it was a text from Kayla or Jared, my already nervous stomach twisted even more when I saw that it was Mark who had texted me.

Mark: Which room?

My fingers hovered over the screen. I was either going to keep ignoring him and try to stay as far away as possible, or I was going to get over it and focus on what I’d come to do. I waited until I was standing in the room before I texted him back. My phone pinged again, but this time it was Jared replying. Feeling the inevitable anxiety creep in, I decided not to write anything back to my friend until Mark found his way to my room, said what he needed to say, and left.

Only ten minutes had passed when I heard the insistent knock on the door. The first thing I did when he stepped in was to tell him that the trip was for one of my classes. I didn’t think he was even listening to what I was saying, because he started in on me before the words had even left my mouth. The energy he was giving off was scaring me, but I tried my best to keep my face neutral. After a long rant about the same things I had become all too familiar with, he warned me to ‘watch myself’ around his boys and strode out.

As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, I took a deep breath and let it all go. I was not going to let him get to me, not anymore.

After sending a quick text to my dad to let him know when he could come pick me up, I worked on some shots I was going to put up as stock photos on a few websites while talking on the phone with Jared. Miriam came up a bit later and eventually announced that she was ready to head down to the team meal room, so I grabbed my bag and my camera then followed her down.

“When will you get back?” she asked once we were in the elevator heading downstairs.

“I’m not sure. Why?”

“Well, the curfew for the team is eleven. Do you think you’ll be back before that?”

“I didn’t think the curfew was for us. Do I have to be back before that?” If I did, that would only give me a few hours with my dad, which wasn’t much considering he was driving in from Phoenix just to see me.

“I don’t think so. I mean, we can ask Cash to make sure, but I doubt it. I’m only asking because…well, I was wondering if you could send me a quick text before you head up to the room when you’re back.”

I gave her a quick look just as the elevator doors slid open. “Why?”

“Cash and I will…you know.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure. I’ll sit around in the lobby until the coast is clear.”

She let out a relieved sigh and linked her arm with mine as if we’d been best friends for years. “You would do that? Ah, thank you, Zoe. My roommate is a real killjoy. If she were here, she’d just walk in and interrupt us in the middle of—”

“I don’t mind,” I cut her off. “I mean, as long as it’s not for hours on end, it’s okay. I’ll grab my laptop before I leave so I can work while I’m waiting.”

She squeezed my arm a little tighter. “Oh, you’re the best. Thank you. Tomorrow is going to be so much fun. I can’t wait.”

We walked into a huge room where hotel employees ran around arranging tables and chairs for the players. There were still twenty minutes until the guys would be filtering in, and Cash wanted us to be ready to take shots of them as they piled food onto their plates. If they were happy with the photos we took during the weekend, apparently the team was going to consider using them in their brochures for the next year.

Under Cash’s careful watch, it took us fifteen minutes to take the photos then it was our turn to choose from whatever was left on the open buffet table. I grabbed some mashed potatoes, broccoli, and chicken.

When I hesitated while following Miriam, she touched my arm. “You coming?”

My eyes were glued to Dylan, who was sitting alone at one of the tables. Mark had already eaten and left, and I hadn’t seen Chris around after I’d taken a quick shot of him constructing a steak mountain on his plate. If there was ever a choice between Dylan and anyone else, I’d always go with my roommate.

“No, you go on. I’ll see you later.”

One hand holding the strap of my camera, the other balancing my plate, I pulled out a chair with my foot and sat across from Dylan.

“Hi,” I said softly, offering him a smile as I settled down.

He stopped eating and studied me with angry eyes.

When he didn’t say anything back, I started to lose my smile. After giving me a quick nod, he focused on his food again. Dylan had been one of the last ones to come in, so while I’d been taking shots of the players and the coaches who were eating, Dylan was nowhere to be found.

Picking up my fork, I pushed the broccoli stems around. “Are you okay?” I asked in a low voice as the silence turned uncomfortable, which had never happened between us before.

He dropped his fork with a clatter and reached for his water bottle.

Had I done something? I forced myself to swallow down a piece of broccoli and waited for him to say something.

Seconds passed, but nothing happened. As soon as he cleaned his plate, he started looking over his shoulders. It was obvious he didn’t want me sitting with him, and I had no idea why. Feeling a little bit hurt and, truth be told, confused, I cleared my throat and gathered up my plate so I could leave. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was bothering—”

I was halfway up when he stopped looking around the room and met my eyes. “Was that Coach I saw going into your room earlier?”

I dropped back down in my seat and my plate clattered on the table, drawing the curious eyes of his teammates.

“What?”

“You heard me. I was coming to your room to see if you wanted to hang out, but Coach made it there before me so I didn’t bother.”

I swallowed hard. How to get out of this one? “And?” It was a lame attempt to play it cool, but I had nothing else.

“And?” His nostrils flaring, he pushed at his plate and leaned over the table. “I didn’t know you were close enough to invite him into your room.” Something he saw in my face made him pause, but unfortunately, it didn’t stop him. “I didn’t see either of you around for an hour.”

My mouth opened and closed as my hands formed into fists under the table. I slid forward in my seat, mimicking his stance.

“An hour? What are you saying, Dylan?”

His eyebrows inched up to his hairline. “I think you know what I’m saying.”

I sat back. I did know what he was saying, and why was I so surprised anyway? I’d already expected him to think exactly what he was thinking, but how had I not anticipated the hurt it would cause to actually hear the confirmation?

“He was only in my room for five minutes, Dylan, six tops. My dad is driving in from Phoenix to see me, and Mark wanted to know if he was going to make it to the game tomorrow.”

My heart sank, and I hated myself a little more for the lie Mark had essentially forced me to tell.

“Your dad is coming,” he echoed.

“Yes.” I pushed my plate away, grabbed my camera, and stood up. “He should be here any second, so I better go…” I was waiting for him to say something, but it was pointless; he just studied me with his ocean blue eyes as if trying to decipher everything I couldn’t say out loud. “Yeah, I’ll just leave.” And with that clever closing remark, I pulled my eyes away from Dylan’s expectant gaze and walked away.

Instead of waiting in the lobby, I sat down outside on the stairs and tried not to think too much about Dylan and how my feelings for him were evolving from just a simple attraction. About an hour had passed when I saw a metallic blue truck coming my way. Quickly, I got up and ran toward it. As soon as my dad’s feet hit the ground, I threw myself into his arms and closed my eyes.

“Dad.”

His arms rounded my shoulders and he held on just as tight as I did, if not tighter.

“My little baby girl.”

My nose was already tingling. “I missed you,” I mumbled into his chest. “I missed you so much.”

His hand smoothed my hair down and he leaned back to look at my face.

“Zoe? What is this?”

His arms slowly dropped and he held my face in his palms, his thumbs wiping away my silent tears.

“Nothing,” I muttered after a pathetic sniffle, again pushing my head into his chest where I knew he would keep me safe.

I had no idea where the tears had come from—well, okay, I knew, but I hadn’t been planning on losing it so soon and worrying him. He sighed and burrowed closer, my body rocking with unexpected sobs as I realized how much I had missed him.

We heard a honk behind us, but I was reluctant to let him go, and thankfully, my dad showed no signs of hurrying. He kissed my forehead, brushed my tears away yet again, and nodded once he was sure I was holding it together.

“We’ll figure it all out together,” he murmured. Walking me back to the passenger side, he helped me up. When I was securely inside, he closed the door and jogged around the car. After lifting a hand in apology to the car behind us, he hopped in.

As I wiped my face with the back of my hand, my eyes caught on someone near the hotel door. He was leaning against one of the columns, arms crossed over his chest, his face unreadable from afar.

It was Dylan.

* * *

Around eleven thirty,my dad dropped me off back at the hotel and we had another tearful goodbye. He was spending the night at a different hotel—he didn’t want to come face to face with Mark—so we could spend a few more hours together the next day, but I didn’t want him to sit around and wait for me when I didn’t even know if I’d have any free time to sneak out.

My mind on anything but Miriam and Cash, I took the elevator all the way up to my room only to find the Do Not Disturb sign on the door handle. After the weird exchange with Dylan earlier, I’d completely forgotten to go back up to my room to get my laptop before meeting my dad. Instead of knocking on the door, I went back down to the lobby.

The whole place pretty much looked dead. Other than a few people hanging around the front desk and the occasional hotel guest stumbling in through the door, I was pretty much alone where I sat facing the front doors.

After sending a quick text to Miriam to let her know I was downstairs, I watched puppy videos on Instagram to kill some time.

Just as I was writing out a text to Kayla, another message popped up on my screen.

Dylan: I’m sorry.

I stared at the screen, not sure whether I should answer or not. Answering him meant I’d have to keep lying to him, but then again, it wasn’t like I could avoid him forever, or wanted to avoid him at all.

Dylan: I’m a complete asshole.

Dylan: Will you open your door if I knock?

My lips stretched into the biggest smile. No, I really didn’t want to avoid him at all.

Me: Didn’t you have a bed check at eleven?

Dylan: And?

Me: So aren’t you supposed to be in bed since it’s past eleven?

Dylan: Just because we have a curfew doesn’t mean we have to go to sleep at eleven.

Me: But it means you shouldn’t leave your room, right?

Dylan: It’s okay if you don’t want to see me Zoe. You can tell me.

My fingers hesitated. I hit myself in the forehead with the back of the phone a few times before I found the courage to type out what I wanted to say next.

Me: I’d love to see you Dylan. I always like seeing you.

Lame. Lame. Lame.

Dylan: :)

Dylan: Then open your door.

Did I tell him I was actually in the lobby because Miriam was getting busy in the room and risk him getting in trouble with Mark if he decided to come down?

Me: I don’t want you to get in trouble, and Miriam is here, too, so…

Dylan: Yeah. Okay, you’re right.

Dylan: It’s just weird knowing you’re here and not seeing you, I guess. I think I’m missing my roommate.

I looked around to check if anyone was watching me. Thankfully, no one was. Pressing on my cheeks with my fingers, I tried to keep my smile in check. Before I could write back that I was missing him too, another text chimed in.

Dylan: I saw your dad. You cried.

Me: I miss him.

Dylan: I shouldn’t have said what I said at dinner.

I watched the dots appear and disappear several times.

Me: It’s okay. Just don’t do it again.

When nothing came back for a few seconds, I wrote again.

Me: I think I’m missing my roommate too.

Dylan: Yeah?

Me: Yup.

Me: Are you in bed? What are you doing?

Dylan: Yeah. Chris brought his Xbox with him so we’ve been playing Madden since dinner, but he’s on the phone now.

Dylan: And I’m talking to you.

Oh God.Are we flirting? I really hoped we were flirting. My heart skipping all over the place, I put the phone down in my lap and pressed the backs of my hands to my cheeks to absorb some of the heat, and to stop myself from smiling like a lunatic in the middle of the lobby—though, I was pretty sure it was too late for that.

I must have taken too much time to come up with something clever because before I could reply, I saw the dots jump around again.

Dylan: Are you in bed?

Yup. We were flirting.

Abort. Abort.

Me: Yep.

So clever, Zoe.

Dylan: That’s good.

My heart in my throat just from texting with him, I dropped my head back and gazed at the colorful high ceilings.

Just when I was about to write, Yeah it’s comfy—another terribly clever response—Miriam saved me.

Miriam: Coast is clear. You can come up!

Thinking I would for sure come up with something better once I was in my room, I headed toward the elevators.

Dylan: I think you fell asleep. Sweet dreams, Zoe. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Groaning, I decided not to answer so he could get some sleep and just headed up to my room.